ImHereToExplainTheJoke
108296
2342
39
Mar 12, 2018 3:21 AM
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
108296
2342
39
BoredZeroG
If only we could simply tell people they're being astronomically retarded...but then we'd be offending people and giving bad service.
Rhyuji
Customer is Right...not..Customer has brains and can use it for more than a damn hat rack or seat cushion
CrazedDrifter
After dealing a player two hands of a game that is very definitely not blackjack: "Wait, this isn't blackjack?"
BuckHaze
My favorite is when grownups yell at me because they can't fit on a ride made for kids
TotallyNotADogInTrenchCoat
Mm. We got some tasty bananas in Michigan. But they only grow in the winter. Whuch is good for the banana farmers since winter is 8mo long
YerAGrizzardArry
Customer service veteran here. The worst were always people trying to use expired coupons. You can never talk sense to those fuckers.
MyBubbles
Sometime stores take them. I try if they say no oh well.
triplegay
All us who work for retail can agree that customers fucking suck
ChancellorGorkon
'See, it says charge pending. That means I paid. It wouldn't show up on my app if I didn't pay.'
burtgummersurvivalist
I’ve actually had a customer use that phrase on me. I laughed and told them they were 115% wrong and they wanted speak to management. -Con
burtgummersurvivalist
Guess who was management. Explained in the simplest terms why they were retarded, and sent them in their way. I lasted 5 years at that job.
DanielMurphyIsGod
I love when people complain about their bills. There are prices on our menu, don't complain because you spent more than you'd have liked to.
acunninglinguist
Worked at burger joint. Regular customer frequently order bacon blue burger. Got burger. Complained that it had blue cheese dressing on it >
acunninglinguist
Brought it back to counter to complain (every. single. time.) Asked what was on his burger. Asked why we didn't have sliced blue cheese. >
acunninglinguist
Did this literally every time he came in. It was explained to him multiple times. He still expected SLICED BLUE CHEESE every time. WTF
jeanzwol
People who say there are no stupid questions clearly never worked in customer service...
ImguriansFillMySaltReservoir
I want to do a return, I don't want store credit and I'm keeping the old one.
ShamanShacker
"Does the nutella gelato contain nuts?"
scooterchills
Also once got asked for local bannanas by a middle aged women with kids. I live in canada and was 15 and had to tell her they don't growhere
JediDavid
DoomAndThenSum
I mean greenhouse bananas are a thing
khora
They grow them on Iceland.
Leolol1
Not saying the customer wasn't totally dumb, as I'm sure it was pretty damn obvious, but decorative kale on a salsa bar sounds kinda strange
YerAGrizzardArry
Especially since kale isn't aestheticly pleasing.
ReverseTrapTsukasa
It was the go to decoration for salad bars before marketing turned it into a health food. It disappeared from most real quick after.
DepressionAndDarkThoughts
Hey now.. if kale wants to feel pretty, then gosh darn it it has every right to feel like the queen of England!!
GarbageKoala
real taquerias hoard their salsa in tiny plastic cups. If you actually hand-made this really elaborate sauce you wouldnt pour it in a trough
SometimesMyCatLaysOnMyKeyboardAndUpvotesStuffIActuallyDontLike
Cus: Hey I found this on the clearance rack and it isn't marked down? Me: Let me check *beep* Sorry, there must be a mistake it isn't on 2/?
SometimesMyCatLaysOnMyKeyboardAndUpvotesStuffIActuallyDontLike
sale. Cus: Are you sure? Me: Yes. Sorry about that. Cus: I really like this. Me: Would you like me to put it at the counter for you? 2/?
SometimesMyCatLaysOnMyKeyboardAndUpvotesStuffIActuallyDontLike
Cus: No. I would have bought it if it were on sale. I only want it if it is on sale. Me: Corporate decides what goes on sale, not me. 3/?
SometimesMyCatLaysOnMyKeyboardAndUpvotesStuffIActuallyDontLike
Cus: *drops shirt on ground* I would have bought it if it were on sale.... *walks out door*
Sathzur
"The customer is always right about what they want" is what the saying should be
sirbartonslady
Sometimes what they want isn't possible tho, and they get so pissy when you can't just make it happen for them.
jessiMemeCat
“What’s the difference between the 9 oz and the 7 oz filet?” ..... “2 oz.” fucking shit.
SaintLuciferVonAllah
"Why do I have a charge from you? -You bought the service back in 1999. -Well how am I supposed to know what I'm paying for?!"
DeathByTeacup
"Yeah, but like... what's the difference, though." Had to show the sizes with my hands for the customer to pick one.
sorryImHigh
“I want a side of fries 4 the kids meal” “Sir fries aren’t a side” “I’ll take the appetizer” “ok what side for your kids meal?” “Fries”...
sorryImHigh
He apparently didn’t want to treat himself to an xtra side, so I didn’t give him one. Just the $4 basket. (Even tho it was included!)
sorryImHigh
This one is really stupid and not frustrating but it was frustrating at the time. He literally wouldn’t listen to a word I said. Goodness
flambelicious
Had a lady try to book a stay at my hotel...that had closed 3 yrs ago. Insisted she didn't mind that it wasn't open.. Like wtf woman
SabatonXX
If it closed 3 yrs ago, what were you doing there? Are you a ghost?
flambelicious
Haha no, she tracked down our email address and contacted us there.
ArdentSlacker
Why the fek would you still have the e-mail?
flambelicious
Official and business correspondence.
LustrousShadow
https://notalwaysright.com/
BullHalsey
.
RelykTerrah
.
MurphyPandorasLawBox
Reminds me of the days of yore, when I spent my time browsing MLIA.
ThatRandomCanadian
Before or after the made up stories? Legitimate question.
MurphyPandorasLawBox
Is there really a difference?
ThatRandomCanadian
Yes. It used to be just mundane things like "today I ate a sandwich". Actual things that'd be "average".
TippyMcSippy
Beware that site has pop-up adds and possibly viruses
thenameisKO
a good adblocker solves it for that site
LustrousShadow
Oh, wow. I haven't used it in years, and don't remember that-- thanks for the heads up.
iputthefiresout
Sears came up with the term and their business is failing, so win?
previoustopcomment
Those business are failing mostly because of investor bullshit syphoning off money not because they couldn't be profitable.
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
Partially. Sears didn't move fast enough with the times. They're there now, but it's too little too late.
apostatebarbie
Wasn’t it Harry Selfridge?
TeenageMutantNinjaAbortedFetuses
That PBS series on him was awesome!
kaitekarue
Sadly I am a member of that family. Admittedly the poor side but it still hurts to see it fail
iputthefiresout
I worked for my local Sears throughout highschool. I do sometimes miss it. I am sad to see it close
Bugofbelgium
Move to Europe where you can actually tell people they're retarded.
IMadeThisAccountForButts
and dont have to say "sir" before telling they are retarded
Munchman347
'Where can I find the ladders?' Sir, we don't sell ladders. 'What kind of Drug Store is this?'...
siilverbolt3
Drunk guy-*shouting* EY ya got Taro cakes? Me - no this is a bar, we have burgers and whiskey Drunk- fuck you all dim sum have taro cake!!
everybodyknowshugostiglitz
The customer isn't right. But they do pay for the privilege of being wrong
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
No one has the right or privilege to be wrong. Ignorance and stupidity need to be tamped out.
shhep
No, they literally need to be served, not corrected.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
And they will be served to the best of the institutions ability, but unreasonable or idiotic requests should be treated as such. Money
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
doesnt give you the right to be a stupid cunt.
Oldmemedigger
But it can buy you the right to.
CandidGamera
The core idea behind every totalitarian regime. Also, *stamped, you illiterate scum.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Tamp: to ram or pack (a substance) down or into something firmly. I know what Im about son. And totalitarian regimes generally are known for
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
encouraging ignorance, because a stupid/ignorant population is easier to control.
ShamanShacker
I agree but its a shop. Its not that deep
everybodyknowshugostiglitz
Money yells pretty loud son
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Money needs to learn to shut the fuck up and do what its goddamn told.
Leolol1
Good luck with that.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
sstrdisco
Worked at a Little Caesar's pizza. Customer calling in an order asked me the diff between thick crust and thin.
Asgarus
Well, if it's just half a centimeter difference, it's probably not worth the higher price, so that's a legit question.
GoliathSkittles
Is it the flavour? I bet it's the flavour that's the difference.
ShamanShacker
Its how much dumbass they fit in the crust
dynamiteking
...I don’t like your necklace... year well your pentagram tattoo gives me a headache, least my charm comes off without lazers
AutoGrandTour
a tattoo gives you a headache? what kind of precious princess shit is this?
ShamanShacker
dynamiteking
Yeah I know, sounds funny, but certain symbols emit an energy I’m sensitive too
SabatonXX
dynamiteking
Yeah yeah “magic is bullshit” “witches don’t exist” I heard it all before, the basis of modern medicine wouldn’t even be here without magic
DepressionAndDarkThoughts
“Do you have fries?” “Uh no ma’am, this is Dominos, we have pizza.” “Well I want fries so I’m going to Pizza Hut, you just lost a customer”.
Buck39
MRW I hear "you just lost a customer"
CandidGamera
How is knowing what you want and taking appropriate steps to get what you want stupid?
Isometimesupvotereposts
I used to work at Taco Bell, someone asked for fries there as well.
TheAdventuresofStealy
Taco Bell has had fries in Canada forever. Plain or done up "supreme" like nachos
Isometimesupvotereposts
That sounds amazing. I forgot to mention that America now has Taco Bell fries. However when the customer asked was years ago.
DoctorPitt
Tbf dominos does do boneless chicken wings and sandwichs so fries isnt that much of a stretch
sorryImHigh
You ever made fries?
IchNicht1
Isn't boneless chicken wing just a fancy name for a nugget?
ShadyVenator
Arguments like that ruin friendships
Showmeyourotters
Imo the difference is how processed it is. When I think nuggets, I think ground up and formed. Boneless wings still have the natural grain.
TheMagnificentOnion
never had one of those fancy nuggets, but I imagine that the fancy wings still have texture and aren't mashed?
edward8767
As a waiter who serves them on a daily basis, yes. They are literally chicken nuggets but you can't charge 7 quid for 6 chicken nuggets
ShadyVenator
Might be different in the UK (you're in the UK right?)
edward8767
I am, but really, what else is a boneless wing than a posh sounding chicken nugget? :D
Showmeyourotters
I get really frustrated that most pizza places don't seem to do mozzarella sticks.
PetahOsiris
In Australia they did (do?) oven baked chips (aka: thick cut fries)
MortalPikelet
Really? Aussie Dominos do fries.
TheAdventuresofStealy
You can get fries almost anywhere in Canada
GoliathSkittles
Was about to comment this, though they are pretty shitty and expensive.
dingofdong
It's Dominoes, "pretty shitty and expensive" is a given
DepressionAndDarkThoughts
Huh that’s interesting. The Ho-dunk Florida town I live in does not and neither does any other pizza place. Different cuisines and such not
ShockTheMonk
Most pizza places don't do them, because oven baked chips are disgusting and dry. I'm surprised more pizza places don't have a deep fryer.
MollyNapQueen
My local pizza place have fries.
DepressionAndDarkThoughts
I had never heard of fries in a pizza joint before you guys commented it. It seems alien to me. Hey but I like fries, the more the merrier
MollyNapQueen
May I interest you in a Swedish style Döner Kebab pizza?
DepressionAndDarkThoughts
Yes. Sign me up.