MyPenisIsBigInSomeCountries
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Today's special at Chili's Grill & Bar: Salmonela!
Feb 14, 2017 5:46 PM
MyPenisIsBigInSomeCountries
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mburicao
At least anal should come after 5 years of been together...
JalapenYoBizness
Just wait until your second child... mwahahahahahahaha
nwydcanafon
Military spouse here, looks awesome
clarencecatburger
Aw, newlyweds are so cute.
FidibusBjrnus
Looks perfect
PicklesAreCapitalism
We've been married for ages, and we got sushi, went to a museum, and then went swimming.
Restlessinterpreter
So much truth, here. Almost too much.
vintageRhino
Excellent username.
vienaragis
5 years of dating, no children - still our plans for tonight. Why stress? We are both working!
izzyrose
This is my first Valentines with the bf... just cooking a nice dinner at home. No big gifts. Make Valentines what you want!
sqibblenuts
If this guy has a baby at home how did they pull off alone time? Lucky son of a bitch
MikePrato
14 years married. It's literally what we're doing right now.
WurzelpeterJimPanse
Uhm....
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Poor you.
jcoh84
No kids but can confirm. After 13 years that is correct.
corgimas
Wait you are awake? Never happened that way for me after five years and a baby
BeardyMcFace
"Foods in the fridge when you get home. Tucking the girls in, having a glass of wine and tucking myself in." - After 10 years and two kids.
FreeFall711
Whoa exact same situation here. Spot on!
Siptro
throw in a pizza and that was our weekend
summitshow
We planned to have sex. Ate a big steak, ice-cream and wine. Fell asleep on the couch.
yavamosportuputahamburgesa
practically the same thing. :)
TurdSlynger
Tuesday, put out the trash. (20 years married and 2 kids)
Andilee
Exchanged gifts bought a bondage kit will be using it tonight, but other than that making jambalaya and being lazy with my love.
wmnii
16 years with my wife, I can confirm. It is.
NotAmused1001
After almost 17 years together, I'm making chateaubriand with brown-butter roasted Brussels sprouts and a 15 year old Pinot Noir.
Ragnarok987
I'm not getting married until September and we're already at this stage
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asquiiiiiiisha
Ooh, you're plucking the nipple hairs? I was thinking about shaving my legs, but probably not. We got married in August.
machitoast
Wait....where's the baby?
NotAmused1001
They just bought an Instant Pot. She'll be ready soon.
MyPenisIsBigInSomeCountries
In the other room trying to find a new way to kill herself.
machitoast
How's that going for her?
Ipostrandomfactsaboutmyself
Been married 11 years. 4 kids. Still got laid twice today!
MyPenisIsBigInSomeCountries
by your wife?
Ipostrandomfactsaboutmyself
Yep. Once for love. Once for pity.
Vaflukongurin
Single dude here... honestly... that looks awesome
QSlade
Married 14 years, it's fuckin awesome
rightwing66
Married 25 years. Awesome!
warlanderBonly1
Married dude here... I wish I still had sex...
BabbidyBoopy
Hahaha the hero we need...just...not right now. +1
Vaflukongurin
Single dude chiming in again... at least you have the illusion of being able to have sex... I just have two hands and a lot of broken dreams
iamobviouslynotacat
single for a few months, yesyesyes
warlanderBonly1
Love the username
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juicetinhaymaker
Why?
DrMooses
Weirdly enough, no particular reason
juicetinhaymaker
Fair enough as long as ever ones still happy
DrMooses
Absolutely. It kinda worked out nicely.
oooooohAhhhhhh
Engaged dude here. It is
KingZullu
A divorced dude. No it isn't. She gets the sofa and the blanket
oooooohAhhhhhh
Prenup bro, keep yo shit
oooooohAhhhhhh
But sorry to hear that, now you can get the couch you actually like
DeusExMagikarp
A second divorced dude. Don't take being single for granted.
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Vaflukongurin
Single dude here... again... are you ... mimicking my... intona... tions.... ...?
KotimainenKayttajanimi
Are you mimicking William Shatner's intonations?
Vaflukongurin
Not really, I've just developed this habit of using ... in comments... I blame my chatting on mIRC way back when (10+ years ago)
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Vaflukongurin
Single dude here... again... again. Well, then... ... ... Then we have that in common... or ... at least... pretend to... .
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largefarva99
I'm my own valentine. Cheap chinese food and a $10 bottle of wine, getting wild tonight.
theritz22
That's what I'm getting for my wife tonight.
Dainslaif
I'm taking myself out to dinner and John Wick 2. I might even get lucky if I play my cards right.
thedarkviolet
You I like
largefarva99
Like I you
Illuminnaughty
Some Mac n cheese with a bit of vodka, here. But I also stopped and got myself a slice of cheesecake!
LadyWidebottom
Do you have a three day growth to go with that cheap wine?
largefarva99
Literally had to Google what this meant, now I feel dumb.
LadyWidebottom
I had to google it too, I always thought he was singing about a 3 day old roast.
largefarva99
That'd be even better.
LadyWidebottom
I know, right?