silencetheoracle
160230
3239
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Hello 2018 you sexy bitch #hankypanky #thedroughtisover
FP edit: got dick and front page in the same day!? What a life. Send me whatever you want
To answer some Qs from the comments:
-No I didn't pay
-It was not my mother
-I am a gay man
-11 years
-Was single and sad now single but happy.
TylerAaron1923
Got laid last NYE when I visited my buddy in Chicago. The girl broke the ice by asking if i was gay....”no honey I am not”
trishsweetpeach1971
6 month drought and I have a husband
lovestospoon
You a dude or a chick?
PossibleSarcasm
Nearly 10 years...
smugchoodle
Coitus!
MyLabrum
Congrats! Like our great and glorious congressman say, "may it trickle down".
golddragon2000
BreakfastWithCountChocula
Many years of drought on my part. Feel like the next time I'll be laid is onto the ground.
xpancakeprodigy
I got laid on Christmas so woot
BishopBerkeley
glassweaver
Thanks to that tag (hanky panky), I now have "Barbie Girl" by Aqua stuck in my head. I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN THE BARBIE WOOOORLD...
KnotsAreMySpecialty
Why do your albums link to pointslut >.> i detect fuckery and unearned points from reposts
BLawww
Congrats on the sex!
ThatDirtyOldMan
was too hungover... still am. I did sling some on the eve though, early of course. :) Nobody wants to be smashed with a floppy.
Munchman347
Butt still aches...
ACocoaNutLadenSwallow
You're lucky ... I haven't got laid all year ...!!!
riceronijones360
You're still lucky. I haven't gotten laid ever.
thetacosavior
mom doesnt count, op
CommentsAreDumb
How much you spend?
AxelYamanaka
That doesn't make you not single...
EmotionallyTransparent
So you will have a baby brother soon?
gowild
I hope he was gentle
spaceymonkey
Skizmo
Sheprador
Was getting plowed at midnight 2016 and I though “YES! This is my year!” I’ve had sex MAYBE 15 times since. Hopefully 2018 will be better.
rang3rofchocolat3
I'm sorry, but getting laid 15 times in a year is something to complain about? >.>
Sheprador
2 years, and yes. It should be far more frequent. You don’t agree?
jerethdatiger12
24 years here
binghams
Plot Twist: OP is an egg.
Cutestuffies
Who came first, the chicken or the egg?
PangolinBan
And the only bird willing to sit on his face is his mum.
extremisttt
This comment should get a medal
Ticmea
mydamnkidsdontthinkimfunny
Dentistman
Dont wait too long to message back, unless you still want to be single
probshouldntsayitbut
Like the other person even remembers!
riceronijones360
Sorry some of us have jobs or responsibilities and we can't respond 0.0000000000000001 seconds after we've received the text.
riceronijones360
Sorry for sounding so damn sarcastic, guess you fucks don't like that.
Darkspire
I think a same day or day after text isn't unreasonable. Only takes a moment.
riceronijones360
True. Not saying don't make the effort to text them back, but like sometimes you just can't get to your phone to do so.
Darkspire
Agreed.
PBRonIce
Generally don't think it's hard to respond or send a text, it's when you open one and get busy and then forget to respond
GuestChrist
I'm still trying to figure out which question belongs to the answer "11 years"
altraman12
"How old was he?"
MaxReboBand
etymologia
Scrolled down for this