hippimoonyogurt
145830
2198
127
Mar 15, 2018 7:23 AM
hippimoonyogurt
145830
2198
127
ocel0t
Ebin xddddddd
ParanoidWithGoodCause
1b: Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad as Salsa
no1vern
Good girls may go to Heaven, but bad girls go everywhere.
Heretofukyouover
Common folk folk commonly
imsmallfry
The first was said by a lad who helped with irish rugby. Good aul rala
jghaverty8888
31 tho lmao
Piscivore
"One liners" and yet the very first one is two lines.
uidiotu
STFU and appreciate something
BagOverMyHead
Epic=Smartass, apparently.
MrJackedBroccoli
I feel the word epic gets thrown around too carelessly these days.
maverick0662
EPIC point
INeedAnUserNameButNoneIsFree
Second mouse gets the cheese, which is often poisoned...
NorwegianJim
France is bacon
Ravenbreaker
*Nods understandingly*
poosebunger
"Epic" "one liners"
dawgpoundjoe
FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: FW: EPIC ONE LINERS
Doumdidoum
Reading this is like having to talk with a boss with halitocis, it stinks.
Thoobiey
#2 And that’s why people repost!
LemursAteMyToast5672
#38 is talking about women, yeah?
Bleusilence
#38 oh boy that person will be surprise if they ever get bad hemorrhoids... they'll stop trusting themselves!?
puttrick
Reading books is just staring at dead wood for hours and hallucinating
ThatOneGuyFrom6thGrade
Sorry, O'Malley, but Karmas a bitch, and so am I.
skooterLaughin
NEEDS MOAR CLICHES!
Heggelund
I read these in the voice of the civilization narrator
Crazytrain77
No matter how much bread you put around it, it's still a shit sandwich.
clevermotherfucker
Wisdom is knowing a tomato based fruit salad is Salsa.
lDanielHolm
No, that's Charisma, for being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.
clevermotherfucker
I wasn't selling mine, get yer own salsa :p
thechelonianshelmet
#33 Improved gun control is what helps to control the idiots
CygloPargen
Right? All laws are idiot control.
Schmiffyn
You mean proverbs
GiftedMagnet
“epic” needs to go away from everyone’s vocabulary and come back when it means something other than ‘absolutely average’
SKANKLES
Holy fuck, take literally and totally too.
GiftedMagnet
that makes me want to say ‘whoa check this out! it’s literally totally epic!!’
DailyBullshit
Most of these are twoliners
navec1001
Oh Snap
justahumanonline
That's a great oneliner.
secondbest
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets free cheese and sex.
Sharangir
Mice don't like cheese.
CoryBernardi
Did.. Did you get a user name just to comment this? You are a God damn hero
TheWickerBoy
eilermst
I would give you an upvote but it's at 69 right now which seems perfect for your comment
PV2moller
Absolutely barbaric!
FrenchcoreWorldwide
The early bird gets the worm, but the late worm lives longer
CatsAndNinjas
Sex with the...the first dead mouse?...?
Tassyr
#1 What? You can put a tomato in a fruit salad. You just gotta call it a Salsa. And throw in some peppers.
ruferto
tbh, i'mma throw meat in my fruit salad too. and take out the fruit, because i already have meat and tomatoes. i do what i want
Legomaniac91
Found the Bard!
Tubesddict
Peppers are also a fruit.
humblegrumblebee
To a chef, it's a vegetable. To a botanist its a fruit. Neither is wrong. It's not that complicated.
rodeo1488
To the FDA, it's a vegetable so that it may be taxed whereas fruits are not.
JerryWhinefeld
Found the bard.
SkepticalToast
Iunderstoordhatreference.gif
AIComments
Meh, mixing two different terminologies does not make one witty https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit#Botanic_fruit_and_culinary_fruit
xenondice
Are there fruits in salsa? The one I can buy here only seems to contain vegetables
TewaAX
You telling me you can only buy a tomato-free salsa?
xenondice
https://media.giphy.com/media/SXjSd9UIL6dJC/giphy.gif
Tassyr
I've had mango salsa.
rodeo1488
Newman's own is delicious.
IAmJuanSanchezVillalobosRamirez
DKCalibre
What kind of salsa are you eating that has mixed fruit in it?!
Tassyr
I've had mango salsa.
TehGrimReaper
Tomatoes, chili peppers, and lime juice. Optional avocado.
emeraldscorp
Some people enjoy a little sweetness in salsa. Peach and pineapple are fairly common.
Tassyr
I've also had mango salsa.