psuedon
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May 16, 2025 4:26 PM
psuedon
80898
1844
82
PUNKem733
It's actually funny how many females hate muscled up guys and would love a little pudge for that cuddling softness.
IUpvoteEveryNicholasCageGIF
Only ever compare yourself to your past self, not against anyone else, never do that, you're gonna be better than that person in some aspect and that person is gonna be better than you in some aspect. For example, I got more dates when I was pudgy, and when I lost the pudge, less dates, people know what they want, but HEY, I'm much healthier now, less gout, less high blood pressure. So don't live your life to please everyone else, you won't have life left for yourself if you do.
TheOvy
He looks strong in the first pic, it just seems like he went 0% body fat in the second. That's a particular lifestyle that I imagine won't vibe with a lot of partners.
Wyrdbunny
Yeah, I just want to hang out and bang. I don't want to spend all our time together at the gym or cooking special diet food. The after picture doesn't look like the type of dude who wants to try the new restaurant that just opened or has time after work to go see a movie. Working out at that level is kinda niche and takes a lot of time and effort.
t9dawg
Men who voted on that poll are invested in that gym life style. Pretty sure most other men would agree with the women on this. I mean they both look fine but the after pic is for exercise freaks. It's not "better".
SpaceCadetDubzy
... As an MTF trans lesbian, even I think he looks way better before. Like he just looks healthier and it's a no-brainer. Are men really looking at him and thinking he looks better after?
codenametrixie
Just like it's women who make other women feel ingerior
codenametrixie
pardon my spelling
AnonOmis1000
I'm a guy and the before looks better to me
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
IDK the left guy looks like he'd cuddle me on a couch, the right guy looks like he'd judge me for wanting fries. In order to maintain the level of shredded requires constant effort that the mere idea of exhausts me, our personalities would not jive. No offense to anyone who works that hard, do you, but yeah the left definitely is more appealing to me.
GiantJabberwocky
The amount of obsession it requires to get to that level of shredded screams "I'm shallow and insecure." I mean, if he is genuinely taking care of his mind and his social community as well, and is just enjoying a little body building, sure, happy for ya, more power to ya...but I don't think I've ever met a well rounded individual that is seemingly so appearance obsessed.
Goot612
As a bear-shaped man, I can confirm that, while happily married and committed, I catch some definite stray flirts when I'm out in a snug t-shirt and hoochie-daddy shorts.
DietCokeIsMyDrugOfChoice
"hoochie-daddy shorts" 😂
Goot612
HDS's for short.
nopenopittynope2806
Also notice that only 34% of respondents are women, suggesting that this question is just less important to them (assuming question appeared in the feeds of a similar number of men and women).
skipweasel
The after photo looks like some sort of 1970s action doll for boys.
GiantJabberwocky
Yeah, boys got relatively the same as the "barbie" effect for girls with our "action figures" marketing. TOUGH, EXTREME, ACTION, MUSCLE! Impossibly ripped 0% body fat dolls for boys. Greedy ass corporations suck all around. Invent insecurity in a child's body image, and you can sell them shit to "fix it" for an entire lifetime. Just got to get it in their heads before they're old enough to realize they are being manipulated.
greggbert
Which version of me do you like, the regular smiling dude who just finished a light workout?
Or the version of me who looks like he's been greased up on a treadmill for the last 6 hours desperately screaming FATSO at himself in a full length mirror while holding back tears?
astrangehop
He's a little more cut in the second, but there's harsher lighting, different shorts and a completely different camera angle
seenunseen
Women cause insecurities in other women as well.
txcell
I thought the point of the post was men don't believe women when they tell them their preferences.
thequicksilver
This was one of the first things I thought of, too.
echonite
Its both. Both men and women are responsible for both women and men's insecurities.
ItWasMeIWasTheTurkeyAllAlong
RainierCamino
SealOnLand
I'm a gay guy and I find both very hot. But the after isn't worth the effort, being this lean is so much hard work and can be unhealthy if %body fat is too low. So yeah given the work not worth it, I'd go with before
Heffaloo
Echo's response in the post is still true if you reverse the genders.
MoschopsUK
The male idea of the attractive male is just that; the male idea. Clue's in the name, right?
LincLoud
Yep
KillerTofu69
Hey whoa whoa, i aint gay, lady. But for the record the guy on the right could split me like firewood, no homo
BigFatFailureTurtle
Notably, this happens in reverse too. So many women think they're ugly just because they don't look like the genetic blonde actress in a Hallmark movie.
Attractiveness comes in a wide array of looks. There's some objectivity to it, in that few people are attracted to bad hygiene and similar, but there are countless looks that different people will find attractive.
I remember being baffled that a gf was insecure about one of her friends. She thought I'd find her irresistible, I disagreed.
BigFatFailureTurtle
To clarify, the friend wasn't ugly by any means. Her look simply wasn't one I'm into.
Some people think steak is the king of foods, others argue it's chocolate. While they are nothing alike, both are valid - as are countless others.
TheLordFoxington
There is also the point that a lot of men recognize the huge amount of work it took for him to get there. It amuses me that weight lifers get more attention from other men than women.
qodglymoril
For some women, such as myself, it's exactly the amount of dedication to getting and staying "ripped" that is a turn off. We have so little time already, I just dont think I could be with someone who prioritizes their looks over spending time together, and enjoying life.
To be clear I'm not saying gym=bad, but esthetics are not a priority for me, even if I can appreciate them casually or from a distance. To each their own though!
DarkwingDuc
Yep, just look at the same dude in a magazine targeting men versus a magazine aimed at women:
Avilan1972
Well, the number of women I have seen... studying... the oiled chest of the man in question in Deadpool vs Wolverine... The thing is that he is both a cool guy, AND a good looking guy.
mikeatike
Huge Jacked Man
Legrooveth
He just wants to sing, let him sing
Zahnradfee
Hugh Jackman looked far too pumped up in the later movies featuring Wolverine. The Rock also got worse over time, as did Vin Diesel. At some point it's just too much muscle.
DarkwingDuc
If we're talking about attractiveness, they yes, he may have been too pumped. If we're talking about playing Wolverine, then no, he was absolutely not.
stonecw
To be faaaaaaair, that Good Housekeeping cover is giving off really bad photoshop vibes.
trigaranus
To be faaaaaaaaaaair.
mikeatike
Why did they make his face look crooked?
stonecw
And the sassy hip cock? Damn, save some for the rest of us.
GOWood
Wifwolf
Richard Ayoade is also hot, but that might be the humour
MirroredImage
Nah, I've never seen anything he's been in except for 2 seconds of a random awards clip and I *still* think he's nerd cute
Wifwolf
Ok, good to have some outside perspective ^^
SarcasticComment
Some men are shaving off their eyelashes to "appear more manly". I've never met a woman who didn't like a man with pretty eyes. Certainly a disconnect over what's attractive.
Guluzinyu
NnOoooooooooooo! Long lashes are so great on everybody who has them!
Wapusk
What the actual WHAT?!
SarcasticComment
it's a weird new trend born out of the Andrew Tate corner of the internet that believes: long eye lashes are feminine and therefore gay + women are attacked to how hyper masculine you are = shaving down your eyelashes will attract women. Keep in mind NONE of these men bothered to ask a woman what THEY like
jasondeslin
Caring about what a woman thinks is gay...
/s
When Tate and his incel fans talk to women it ends in laughter, pepper spray, or restraining orders.
But becoming a good person requires humility and integrity. Much easier to blame everyone else for not loving their shitty pathetic behavior.
Wapusk
Oy vey.
SarcasticComment
Tik Tok then amplifies the stupid to the point my old ass learns about it on an NPR weekend quiz show. It's the Circle of Life. https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1amZwMHc0Y3FzM215ZTZhN28wOXV4dmdnbTVkMnE5NmNrNnRkdDY1biZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Lp71UWmAAeJHi/200w.webp
suffyr
I got way more action as a bigger dude. Some women like big teddy bears.
RevolutionOnHerLips
My mom would only date bigger guys. Chris Farley was her ideal. She used to body shame me for being skinny.
CatShadowleaf
Just so you know, what your mom said wasn't right, and I hope you're doing better now. Bodyshaming skinny people is just as bad as any other kind.
hannahbutnotreally
It's me. I'm some women.
sirdouglasbuttersworth
Same, girl!
iRegretThisUsernameAlready
Must be exhausting, I have my hands full just being one man.
suffyr
Will you tell your cats i said "psss psss psss" please?
hannahbutnotreally
Absolutely
elusiveenchilada
I distinctly remember watching an episode of 90210 in high school. 2 female characters were at the beach, scopin' dudes. They saw some regular looking guys playing volleyball and were like, "Oh hell yes." Some muscle-dudes walked past and they both were grossed out and even laughed. As a kid who grew up on Stallone and Schwarzenegger movies it blew my fucking mind.
TurangaLeeIa
There are some amazing powerlifters out there for whose strength and skill I have great respect. Their massive legs make me nauseous to look at. Obviously they're not doing it for me, but just saying -- it's not attractive to everybody
AmZero85
They have 90210 on Paramount+ and my boyfriend and I are watching 1 episode a week and going through the whole series. We had to pause a week after the episode where Brenda has a breast cancer scare. Its too soon.
Jinxies
No one wants to sleep on a hard lumpy mattress.
astrangehop
I do. Overly soft mattresses hurt my back.
Iinajoki360
Huh. Did not know that. I am not 90210 generation though. Also, my type is any type of woman or a nerdy guy who is at home playing a video game riding a horse called Pony Stark. I recommend bisexuality for everyone and am sorry it's not a choice.
AshesVonDust
I recommend pansexuality. GET ON MY LEVEL! /s
BlainesMagmar
Men and women alike revile me. https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1YnV0am82amVzYnA4bDhrM3l2c3MyeXZvN2hucm52NGdjNW13bm5zZyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/9MqDMAFfvqc1i/200w.webp
Enoan
I like to joke that "I like two types of boys, femboys and tomboys" but fundamentally my aesthetic ideal is like fourth at best when it comes to who I actually like spending time with.
Krankt
Oh this is amazing and I'm stealing it.
Enoan
It's an exaggeration, but not by much lol. I love my soft and sensitive boys.
grimmgaming
Jokes on you, I think I'm asexual!
WhatTheFrench
Same! I used to think other people were exaggerating their sexual attraction for flattery/attention reasons, or that I was just frigid/a prude/broken, and it was embarrassingly late before I realized that I’m fine just the way I am and the way I am is pretty neutral sexually speaking.
psych0bunneh
You might be asexual if the phrase "enthusiastic consent" triggers the same response as "C'mon we can do better than that! I saaaaaaaid good morning!"
WhatTheFrench
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJleWs5eTF5aWU3ZGdhb205dXlxNmp2bHR2cmhoOWhuOXhqM2ZhOWd3MCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/YTK4TRYpsYP3Qv5P1J/giphy.mp4
grimmgaming
Yeah I'm in my 30s, not a bad looking guy from my understanding. I had a pretty wild night (the first time) a couple years ago. She initiated, it wasn't a bad time, but I was a much bigger fan of the cuddling. I don't know if that makes me asexual or not really, but whatever I guess lol
Thesaya
As a lesbian, I envy you.
Lashiel87
Agreed 100% I have tried sooooo hard to find cis men attractive but while I can appreciate an attractive individual it just doesn't do it for me...
Iinajoki360
As much as the straight privilege makes things easier when dating a dude, there is something to be said about dating someone who gets the risks involved in being a woman AND knows how to run a fucking household.
Nyxera
Unfortunately that is not given even when you are dating women as a woman. I have had abusive, manipulative and emotionally lazy exes. We luckily did not live together, but all evidence pointed at them being lazy about household chores too.
Thesaya
My answer doesn't seem to have been posted, but I have no such illusions. I just want to get laid now and then, which would be way easier.
Thesaya
I honestly don't think the household bit would matter much, here in Sweden, at least, it's pretty equal when it comes to chores, etc. Hell, my brother is way better at all that than I am, I'm not even close. It would be way easier to get laid now and then, though, that is all.
Iinajoki360
Maybe in your house. Hälsningar från finland. My ex was even worse than my current partner who means well but doesn't really focus on house stuff
Ree81
When I was a teen, me and some friends saw a show where younger US women were shown a (censored) picture of a non-cut dick.
They all went "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! GROSS!!" (but smiling). Regardless, me and my friends were Very upset that night. :D
Iwannaseeit
I feel like they'd say that regardless of circumcised or not? I could be completely wrong though
Eikre
Let me assure you. If you showed those same women a picture of the same dick with the skin simply retracted, the chance of them identifying it as the same penis or even as an intact dick generally would be miniscule. There aren't as many ways in which it's apparent or as important, but American women are as uneducated about the boys' anatomy as the boys are of theirs.
ineedausernamerightmeow
Genitals are ugly, period. There's a good reason for the term "bumping uglies." Hormones and associated experiences overcome that ugliness so that we find certain genitals attractive.
If those experiences (porn or otherwise) are purely circumcized penii, I can totally see uncircumcised remaining in the naturally ugly category.
UltraHellboy
Yeah, I get that. I’m from the US, was circumcised, and find uncut penises weird-looking, like a Geoduck.
PrincessDandelion
They are quite culturally indoctrinated over there. I have male friends in the US who actually believe you can’t properly clean your penis if you are not circumcised. It’s baffleing!
jasondeslin
Please never try and find out why they think that. You absolutely do NOT want to look up what doctors have had to medically remove from guys that didn't wash themselves.
And the more toxicly masculine the culture, the more common the problem.
Apparently, if the ego is fragile enough, even touching your own dick is gay, so they don't wash.
PrincessDandelion
Pretend that I spelled “baffling” correctly, pls
icouldnotthinkofagoodusername
US woman here. that topic specifically is very much taught to us at a young age and communicated to us by doctors. my OBGYN specifically when I was carrying my son pushed circumcision as a healthier choice.
UltraHellboy
Yeah, we had the same. They gave us a guilt trip about it at the hospital after our baby was born.
Izdleve
Times are changing though. I had my son 6 months ago and the OBGYN said the standard at the hospital was not to unless the parents specifically requested the procedure for religious reasons.
icouldnotthinkofagoodusername
probably depends on area in the US. I was raised in Iowa and my son was born in Illinois.
dreyfusslugado
I've been overweight my entire life. I've hated how I look, and never really pursued any relationships because I thought everyone also hated the way I look. But one time when I was walking down the street, a car drove by and a girl yelled out the window "I love your belly!" and drove off.
This short-circuited my brain for about 20 minutes... I couldn't reconcile her statement with my perceived reality.
Still kinda fucks me up, and this was maybe a decade ago.
GiantJabberwocky
Genuinely hope you are doing better since that realization a decade ago. I think everyone on the planet struggles with, at least to some degree, self-image issues at some point. Hell, a great deal of adolescent brain development is navigating increasingly complex social interaction. The fact is, 99% of people you see on the street will never, ever think about you again, most never even saw you. So, really, the only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. You do you, fuck the rest.
VonDiesel1977
I did okay with women but thought if I got in great shape I'd do better, I dropped 7 stone in 9 months and I couldn't get with a woman then at all for like 2 years, gained some weight back and voila, I was back to dating again. Just be healthy as possible but never worry about being thin because they like what they like and bigger is often it.
darkusblack
I am a chunky boy and always have been. I also have the confidence rarely found in a fat man. I found that my personality has gone a long way and the women I have been with don’t seem to care about the belly. Be yourself but not the self that doesn’t like to look in the mirror. That guy sucks.
IUpvoteEveryNicholasCageGIF
There's an old saying on the internet and I found this out to be true because someone actually confessed this to me, you may not know this, but someone's masturbating imagining you.
darkusblack
Do they have a video of it?
Muffinburgler
Gotta agree with the others, you're very handsome! I'm also in Monterey if you're ever looking for a coffee date on the beach~
Omnislash9
Well for what it's worth, I creeped at your posts and you are handsome AF my friend! As a woman, I'll take a dad bod over either of the above photos any day. Compliments mess with my head too, we've gotta remember that how we see ourselves is vastly more critical than what the world sees
hybelmygg
Your comment made me creep on his posts too, and I agree, mans handsome as fuck, definitely super charming!
andsy
I only found one of his face and he looks _really_ good. I did hope to see a full body version so I could see this belly that’s
worth a shout-out from a car window for myself.
PrincessDandelion
Samesies!
PolarHailStorm
You know this, though. There are kinks you don't have, but understand other people do. Same thing with what they like physically.
rambot
Isn't it interesting that BOTH genders appear to do it TO THEMSELVES....cause this ABSOLUTELY happens with females too.
nurseleathersAZ
Real reviews from my friend group: he looks kind of ick after, but very yum before ¯_(ツ)_/¯
ZK383
Make women laugh, be considerate, don't be creepy (Unless it's playing), always let them know they're attractive. If they feel safe around you, and you can fix things and problems, that helps. On the six-pack? Sure, fantasy stuff, but do guys really want to spend their lives with poofy lipped big boobed, self-focused, high maintenance, whiney, beauty babes? Remember, "Magic Mike" did a hundred million, "Shrek" did five hundred million or so. Every woman I know loves watching "Nobody."
UnicornDilemma
It's also not the picture but how you picture it. I'm sure he looks fitter and healthier in better photos, but this is a good photo versus a bad photo. One is in the natural light of a misty day and the other is in a cement building under fluorescent lighting. 2nd. Magic Mike is about a sexy dancer who gets paid for it versus a love story about a princess finding love living happily ever after lifting the curse of physical appearance issues. It's more body positive versus body exploitation.
Midgarmerc
idk if Shrek vs Magic Mike is a great example lol one is a movie entire families will watch and enjoy every day while singing along and the other is Shrek
Drishna
Genuinely curious if this is because personality stereotypes attatched to gym bros? I know some people that go feral when they see someone vascular which i've also never understood. Also wonder if this is biased based on where this pole was, 5k isn't a big sample size.
SalvalecRhaplanca
That might contribute, but also, I'm bi and I care more about the physical tactile reality of a partner than I do the aesthetic. The super lean super buff physique on the 'after' looks... uncomfortable. Like trying to sleep on a rock pile. The touch of round softness looks way more enticing to grab and cuddle and do 'other things' with. Someone thinking about their partner as pure aesthetic eye candy or as a trophy may have different priorities.
norcebyl
When I, a 36 year old male, went from 280 lbs to 190, I noticed that most people treated me better. Especially men.
mattbl
Yea I've gone back and forth between being ~50 lbs overweight and being in good shape, and the difference in the way you get treated is astounding. When you're overweight it's like you're invisible. People won't talk to you or even look your way. But when I was in shape, I noticed a lot of women looking at me and people were just generally nicer to me. It taught me a lesson about the way I treat others.
grimmgaming
Overall I bet you felt better about yourself as well in all aspects
norcebyl
Definitely. So much more energy and less pain.
InfocalypseRising
I'm not buying 12 weeks for that crazy of a transformation, either.
Isorikk
It definitely looks achievable, but that level of body fat is pretty unhealthy. To get abs like that you need to be below 6% and also pretty dehydrated because it makes the skin shrink. It takes a lot of mental discipline to get to that level, and given the opinions seen in the pic, I wouldn't recommend doing it unless it's for a short-term competition.
Omicron416
If all he did was work out for those twelve weeks, yeah, it's possible.
Isorikk
Results like that are going to be 90% diet, 10% regular activity
FakeFlagger
He wouldn't have had to build much if any muscle. Just lose fat and prepare for a photo. You can absolutely do that in 12 weeks.
IlluminaBlade
Not mentioned, no water for two days before the second photo.
Silent1fd
Well the roids shrunk his package so yeah...
jjw9
They need to have him wear the same clothes and keep the same pose from the before pic, also.
The Speedo looks obnoxious.
RxFukitall
Looks like a lobster
Theshnazzyone
Yeah the problem I have is he looks "good" but not Healthy. The steps to get that muscle definition is basically near body destroying.
DavidBrooker
It varies by individual, of course, but the level he's showing in 'after' isn't necessarily that 'body destroying' to get. Ab definition in particular is highly genetic, and some people show visible ab separation at much higher body fats than others. If you look at his legs, you can only just start to see separation of the three quads, by way of comparison. There are other cues in the shoulders, etc. This suggest to me he has pretty favorable genetics for ab definition.
DavidBrooker
That's to say, most people at that level of quad definition would *not* be showing anything like that level of ab separation. By way of comparison, Dwayne Johnson in "show trim" likely has substantially lower body fat, and greater levels of dehydration, but worse ab separation. It's not something you can really change much, it's a lottery of birth.
SilentScreamsX
I remember someone on Graham Norton (I think it was Hugh Jackman but not sure) talking about what movie stars go through to get into the insane shape you see in movies and he straight up says it's absolutely not healthy and you really don't wanna do it without expert supervision.
OvertleyBadpickuplines
He was already in shape he just "needed" to cut down. I looked this dude up, he is professor and spokesperson. So he probably has a dedicated trainer, nutritionist etc. Real easy to drop weight when your already in shape,and have a dedicated time to workout and support staff.
OvertleyBadpickuplines
Add on: he also is probably making himself look "dumpy" in the first pic. Bad posture, oversized shorts, high socks, and he is probably pocking his stomach out
NeverDunNuffin
You didn't look him up very well then, cos that's British singer Olly Murs.
OvertleyBadpickuplines
Your right, I looked at the posters name. But what I said stands, he is a singer. He probably has a staff and plenty of time to exercise.
SumOneElse
he didn't lose as much as it looks like at first glance either. The before picture stops mid-shin the after includes most of his feet making him look a lot smaller. It also looks like he sucked his gut in on the second picture while relaxing in the first; which would exaggerate the change there too.
BenderBendingRrrrrrodriguez
He already had the muscle, it's visible in the first pic. 12 weeks of weight loss and one week of dehydration could absolutely get you from Before to After
valvarsson
Flexing, pump and lighting and you could pretty much do that transformation in 10 minutes
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRQ2vc_TpxgidCFo8PanIrNIgRYUaIrbNNDoQ&s
BoblovesMac31415101
"Pretty much" is doing a ton of work in that statement.
valvarsson
Did you even click the link? Would a guy that ripped lie?
BoblovesMac31415101
I assume you are joking.
The linked guy yes I accept is possible.
The guy in the post isn't, he has lost a lot of fat.
supergreenpasta
there's also the flexing...
TheNextHafthorBjornsson
also better lighting which is huge
tetondons
And he could have done it without ever going to the gym. Those pictures show the result of restrictive eating, not working out.
BenderBendingRrrrrrodriguez
Sort of.... you have to be lucky for that to work. Some people's metabolism will cut through muscle faster than fat when restricting and not exercising.
Rebatu
Steroids can easily do this. And money.
If you have the time to completely dedicate to fitness and food.
DavidBrooker
Steroids cannot do this on their own, nor do you need them for this level. And you don't really need "complete dedication", either.
Rebatu
Why do you think that? He had enough muscle. He just needed to reduce his fat %. With steroids, you can be on huge caloric deficits and still retain or even gain muscle.
Being worth it is kind of individual dont you think? A 12 week cycle would probably do almost nothing adverese, even in high doses.
And dedication is defined needed, with or without steroids.
You need to have money for the diet, have time too cook it or money to buy it made. You need a job that allows 4-5 times a week training
Rebatu
Even with a job like that its difficult to have enough sleep and recover, or to be consistent enough.
You can make this change in about 4-6 months usually. Not 12 weeks.
DavidBrooker
What are you referring to by 'that'? You aren't contradicting anything I said. Yes, you need dedication. I said you don't need *complete* dedication, meaning fitness isn't your full-time job. You need that to prep for the stage, not to show some definition. I objected to the implication that steroids were mandatory for this transformation. And nothing you say here seems to change that.
Rebatu
I think that with dedication to exercise and diet as you would dedicate to a full time job this guy can do this in that time span without steroids.
With steroids and some dedication, he can do it too.
Otherwise this would last 4-6 months depending on his previous fitness and genetics.
TinyOctopus
Tiny octopus has always had a little pudge, all of his life. And it wasn't until a person who he'd known for maybe 2 months told him that she thought he was fairly lean that he realized that he's not fat fat.
But, he still looks in the mirror and thinks he's a little fat.
Livetinydienever
Yes but have you considered, some men cannot simply be TinyOctopus. The universe provides
VaultGirl69
My husband is half Japanese and middle aged and has the most baby soft skin. While he has a stomach, it's more round with no rolls. I don't really have a type. I've only dated one chubby guy and one guy built like the statue of David. To me, the scrawnier and smarter, the better. In my experience, the humbler guys seem to be better at sex. Not obsessed with only their needs or trying to prove something or acting like it's porn (porn is not real and they don't teach guys that).
hemakesupforit
The English language is so funny and interesting. As a native speaker I know exactly what "fat fat" means...but i can't imagine the challenge of trying to teach that to a non native speaker ...or for a non native speaker to understand what using words doubly means. Im sure they probably get what the words mean on their own..but not what they mean mean when used twice....
theredacted
I’m technically underweight but I feel like I have a belly in the mirror. The mirror is definitely not our friend, I bet from other perspectives I’m pencil thin but I don’t get to see those ones lol
justfiguredoutimc4azyanddumbb
Maybe we're all a little fat?
Rogahar
Any healthy person is a lil fat. Fat is how our body stores stuff it doesn't need right now. Even bodybuilders, when they bend over or sit down, get fat rolls - it's only when they're prepping for a competition and dangerously dehydrating themselves that they get 'ripped'.
PectorialMuscles
Correction: many competitors lean down atrociously before their day. They already work hard to maintain just at healthy fat mass, but the months before a competition are, unfortunately imo, used to drastically alter the the water and fat composition to very unhealthy levels. So while many, I'd say most, usually work hard to stay low, they work even harder to lose ALL OF IT for show day. Those are skin rolls, not fat rolls. There's a lot of body dysmorphia. It's pretty shit given the effort.
PectorialMuscles
I also say this as someone who struggles to get above a "healthy" fat composition. I'm pretty aware of the dysmorphia linked to wanting to be bigger, stronger, and leaner even while being capable of numerically great strength feats. I'm not there anymore, and I like strength training far more than bodybuilding for that specific subset of dysmorphia related tactics. As ex, I have never weighed over 135lbs at 5' 8", even while squatting 300+ and overhead pressing 200+. I am 119lbs for 3 yrs now.
DavidBrooker
At least part of that is the drifting definition of 'ripped'. Obviously you can't get to a stage-ready level of 'ripped' without a carb cut, dehydration, and carb-load cycle (and spray tan lol). But I doubt the dude in OP did that. If you have the genetics for it, that's something you can maintain for awhile.
IrrelevantHandle
Also, actual strongmen, as in men who compete in feats of strength, always have wide hips and bellies. No upside-down nacho men in that arena, they'd destroy their back.
Rogahar
Well, yeah, but they're also training for two very different things. One's a demonstration of strength, the other's essentially a highly specialized beauty contest. Which is not invalidating either, btw, the contenders in both work hard to achieve their wins and I couldn't do either succesfully without bowing out two weeks into training and going back to my snacks and junk food lol
tentacularfleshscape
I think the point is that the strongman body type actually has real world utility, and should therefore be held in higher aesthetic esteem.
Deshalope
Peacocks strongly disagree.
philmoregraves
I have put on some lbs in recent years and I don't like it. I thought I kinda had dad bod before this, now I really have the more gut heavy dad bod thing going on. It seems to be well received thus far. A much younger and smarter lady has expressed interest in me, so I am not mad
graceinsheepsclothing
Dad bod is honorable
DocFunkenstein
The funny thing is that it's even more true (worse?) for women.
Guys don't give a single solitary fuck if you wear the same fucking dress more than once, for example. They also don't sit around in a group, wait for you to leave earshot, then sit like a gaggle of crones smack talking how you look, then immediately act like innocent angels and BFFs when you return.
valkrez
No, they just comment "fat" on every picture a woman posts
Traust
In Australia we had one of the morning tv hosts wear the same suit for a year just to make a point about how his female co-star was not able to wear the same thing more than once. He waited until she wore an outfit from a year or something ago and when the media went nuts about it he asked why no one said anything about the suit he was wearing every day.
juan004
Yeah... Regardless of who has it worse, it seems like tearing down your "competition" is a human thing...
And I've seen it happen among gay men too; it's always the super campy guys who are dicks (hehe) to each other, even when otherwise they are great to hang with.
GiantJabberwocky
People like that are children, and probably always will be. It's, sadly, not uncommon. Their behavior should be treated the same way you should treat a spoiled toddler. Ignore their little "look at me" tactics. Don't encourage it with any response, if they want to act right they can come back to civilized society. Otherwise, bitch is in time out. The great thing about overgrown toddlers is, you never have to interact with them again. Real ones you have to feed and stuff later so they don't die😒
aflarge
My girlfriend asked me if my family would be upset at her for wearing the same dress to my brother's wedding that she's gonna wear to her brother's wedding.
The idea of that being a problem to anyone is insane to me. My mother laughed at the question as hard as I did (I only asked her because I knew she'd think it was funny)
kaoticgirl
As a woman, I've never met a single woman who does this. Maybe I just have better taste? Or more likely, I don't live in Sex in the City universe.
DocFunkenstein
Or, most likely, you live in denial.
CatShadowleaf
Sure dude it's the women who are wrong
DocFunkenstein
No, it's the idiots like you claiming all women are FLAWLESS about EVERYTHING and NEVER do anything uncouth that are wrong. You. That would be you. You're the ones making that claim. You idiots.
amiurume
I prefer thick and chubby women.
ASquirrelNamedLloyd
Hell ye
Solivoid
I found myself in that very situation with my GF -- we're bound to go to a wedding this month, and she sighed, and despaired at the 'fact' that she "has to go buy a new dress".
"Why? You have like 5 dresses. Even if you put on some weight, try them out first you god damn idiot."
Her first instinct was to just dump the entire wardrobe, and get something new.
She tried on some of her old dresses. They still fit. They still look great.
CheetosOnMyFingers
Please leave her
Solivoid
What is this, reddit? Either divorce or whatever the other extreme option is?
CheetosOnMyFingers
You do you but you don't sound happy
Solivoid
Not sure why the downvotes, but I want to be clear: She didn't literally want to throw away all of her clothes to the garbage. I was being hyperbolic.
Haha funny moment, GF despaired at "having nothing to wear", but actually had something to wear. That's it. Good night.
DocFunkenstein
They're downvoting because they're in denial and acting like this is some made up thing men made as part of the "evil patriarchy."
glovelyday
As a man I know most women don't either. That's just more male insecurity. I mean, after you leave what makes you believe they think about you at all?
NickRivieraMD
I think they meant about other women. And they don't usually do that either, just the dicks.
ChocolateCookieAndFudge
I came here to say that. High school bitches were cruel to other girls and I still feel insecure about a lot of stuff. And then there is the media and advertisement. My hubby doesn't care how much body hair I 've got or that my boobs are pretty small. But you still compare yourself to the billboards and the photoshopped pictures in magazines and in movies.
EroticZombiePants
Just like some men, there are some women crapping on other people's appearance behind their back too. Also, there is the clique factor. Get a small group of people together, and they tend to blend into a similar state in order to not get ostracized. So, if someone starts badmouthing someone else, the group is often more likely to go along with it than call that person out. That said, I couldn't tell you which group is worse at it.
glovelyday
My dad taught us when we were boys: "Some day you'll be out with a bunch of your friends and you're going to have to be the one brave enough to say 'No. Stop'. Do not be afraid to say it." I suspect he was talking about things far more serious than dishing on people's clothes, and fortunately it's never been anything too bad, but you'd be surprised how often I've used that wisdom.
tazij
My inner voice and I have a fun debate about this very thing.
Anxiety: oh my god they probably think Im an idiot
Soothing voice: no one thinks you're an idiot <3
Depression: no one thinks about *you* at all
glovelyday
As I once read, "you'd worry less about what others think about you if you realize how rarely they do."
DocFunkenstein
Yeah, that's what it is. Everything is men's fault. Women are perfect and flawless creatures, the pinnacle of God's creation. Whatever was I thinking.
Ristari
So this went from "yea, people put unfair standards on themselves due to their own(or gender based) insecurities" to "women are evil" real quick. you need to talk? Someone hurt you and you havent found the right outlet to vent the pain?
GiantJabberwocky
Even though you probably won't listen, I really hope you seek out some real human interaction. These little sarcastic barriers you put up to seem hard just makes everyone see you as pathetic, sad, and scared. Maybe talk to somebody, I don't mean a professional, I mean anyone that you feel good around. It seems like you haven't been treated too well by society in the past. Afraid to get burned yet again, probably. Nobody is out to get you. Most people are alright, you just have to try.
qodglymoril
I challenge you to show us where anyone even implied that women are perfect or flawless creatures.
DocFunkenstein
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WRLd">regHA">https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WRLd5TregHA
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UI0KCW1PW2c
etc. Hell, there's even a god damned fucking Ted Talk about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j-S06u5lDY
Keru
lmao, yeah Ted Talk, that bastion of scientific thought
DocFunkenstein
"Oh, actual proof that I'm wrong? Yeah, well, whatever, it's not! HA HA, I AM AN INTELLESHUAL!" --Your Dumb Ass
jasondeslin
There are also movies and shows about it... Here's a hint. Real people don't act as shitty as Hollywood writes. (At least once they grow up, a loud minority of teenagers suck.)
You poor angry incel. Don't worry, you'll understand once you're an actual adult.
DocFunkenstein
Considering I'm in my 50s, with a wife, two daughters, and several grandchildren... you've nailed it.
Let me guess though, a zoomer? No need to answer.
zOriginal
You got issues bro
DocFunkenstein
No, you're just an ignorant fuck.
sparrowace
Nice projection mate
mooserunningwater
People like that are just shitty and not your friends, regardless of gender. As a woman, I've literally never been in a group like that. The women I know like each other and build each other up, or we don't associate with you and will likely shit talk you to your face if provoked. Otherwise you're not worth our time
Iinajoki360
And for some reason the building up is never buildier than in a bar bathroom while drunk.
CorgiInALilBlackDress
Exactly. Whenever I've met nasty people I move on, I don't adopt their nasty. Being an ass isn't about gender, race, etc - but for some reason people will share an isolated incident or something they see in the media and base their opinion on that.
I'm glad he got into lifting, it can be so energizing and make you feel happier as long as you keep it natural/chill. But aesthetically I don't care. Ppl's bodies are inconsequential- personality is 100% what gets me excited for love or friendship
kushezz
I've never had a woman care I wore the same dress more than once either. Maybe it's true for people discussing celebrities or the royalty, but regular people have a set number of clothes to choose from.
CorgiInALilBlackDress
I wear mine till they no longer look ok. None of my friends gave ever cared.
INeverReadTheTOS
I am not a woman, but I feel like the reason most women prefer the Before is because the After looks more likely to be abusive.
painstream
Neck down, I'd say after looks "better" (both are fine), but the kinda-creepy smile and the pose do not inspire confidence in me. Giving off douche vibes.
gft8gd5khn101
The after looks like he's starving and can't afford a wheat grass smoothie. Or he's really neurotic about appearance and fitness. These lower body fat percentages look strange and malnourished
sothisishowashitpostfeelslike
Honestly to me a way too chiseled physique implies that the person is extremely self-absorbed, either because of insecurity or of ego. It feels to me like there's little space for another person in their lives.
insertwittyjoke
No, it's because I literally just don't like the ultra cut look in a visual sense. Tbh somewhere between before and after is good for me, toned but not cut.
kaoticgirl
He simply doesn't look healthy. Or fun
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Cuddly bear versus body-obsessed gym rat. Well-fed and calm versus dehydrated and a bit manic looking. (Also, his hair line has retreated a tiny bit further in the second photo.)
MAN9000
Men who have less than 20% body fat don't live as long as men who have I think it's about 20 to 40% body fat. It's been awhile since I looked at that research. So could just be a survival thing... The man with a little more weight is going to live longer.
RandomStuffsandThings
More likely the before is seen as less likely to be judgmental about their partners weight vs the after.
AnythingMuchShorter
Before looks more likely you could eat a piece of cheesecake without hearing again about how sugar is basically poison.
BoblovesMac31415101
🤤🍰
devasto
One woman I asked said that the guy on the right looks like he's going to dedicate all of his time to the gym, and not his relationship
bonaroo
yeah guy 1: is fit but has time for me and a healthy relationship with food and exercise. guy 2: for the half hour he stops at the house in between gym sessions he's going to describe protein bars to me in great detail
Elvirana
Also I'd feel inadequate if my man was a model. I'm not fat, but I'm about 10 kg heavier than I'd like to be (used to be). As my husband gained weight as well (not overweight either), I'm ok with that, but if he still looked as fit as when we met, I'd be a little embarrassed next to him.
unableraven
That part. He's got a partner, it's the gym. Being the bed warmer is not a relationship job I want.
4etherling
One thing to consider is that this is online polling. There are a metric shit ton of women who are more active, career oriented, or driven by real world activities that aren't paying attention to this. Many of those women would prefer a more active man if it's in alignment with their lifestyle. I was incredibly ripped when I was in the infantry and was approached by women all the time. I'm now a softer body and I'm invisible. No one that approached me was afraid I would abuse them.
moonshadowkati
After just looks emaciated? If I'm laying against a guy's chest I feel like before is more comfortable. I dunno, he just looks more... normal.
INeverReadTheTOS
You're not wrong, actually. Whilst I'm extremely not a woman, I'm also extremely not straight, and I can definitely say that I would rather cuddle with the Before than the After.
DerekHand
When some guy looks like the after you know that his entire personality revolves around working out. He has no other interests or active hobbies. all his free time is spent looking like that.
Youhavinagiraffe
I think that's an extreme way to put it. Looking friendly, fun and approachable goes a long way and being chiselled can be intimidating and make it seem like you spend your whole life in the gym
INeverReadTheTOS
I've sat on the comment for the past 2 hours and I think I should've said toxic or neglectful, and not abusive. Alas, we can't edit comments so here we are.
mercyPandaRunner
Guy here too. Before-guy looks pleasant. After-guy looks like the type of guy that could get uncomfortable if he got rejected by a woman he hits on in a bar.
Don't know why, but after-guy looks like the type of guy i'd expect doing hyper cringe "among men" talk when no women are around. You know, suddenly he calls them hoes and about which person we both know he'd like to smash. The type of guy i don't even want to be alone with as a penis-bearing human, let alone if i was a woman.
That's >
mercyPandaRunner
quite a lot of wild association here, of course. But "guy who seems to have been shy/nerdy and at some point became hyper fit and confident" is a genre of men i've met my share of and more often than not it matched the above experience.
unableraven
After looks like he spends any free time at the gym and only eats salted chicken with steamed broccoli for every meal of the day. Would I even be a part of his life outside of a bed warmer? Would dates exist? Would days of just laying in bed cuddling and laughing exist? Just doesn't seem like it since that could all be gym time.
Copperbrat
There's probably a little bit of something to that. Narcissists are usually obsessed with their own appearance, and they're the most insufferable people on the planet.
Iinajoki360
I'm a woman and I'm here to put a stop to this. I like before because the guy is more bigger and that's hot. But if you all want a cute reason as well, soft body hugs are a lot better than hard body hugs.
CaptainFubs
Yeah but you don't speak for all women. You are super entitled to your opinion :) I'm just saying.
Kitehammer
That is an absolutely wild claim to just throw out there.
kenchaai5772
I think its that some fat on top of the muscle just looks more aesthetically pleasing versus just ripped muscle. For me its same for women, I prefer a nice healthy layer of fat on top of some muscles.
Misora
Guy on the left looks like he fire up the grill on Saturday and cook some burgers after cleaning up the yard. Guy on the right looks like he spends all his time at the gym and would lecture you for buying the wrong type of protein suppliment. Either one is them is already stronger than me. Why not go with the one who might be nice and chill?