ThePocho361
165092
3932
78
Feb 23, 2017 8:19 PM
ThePocho361
165092
3932
78
ffilm
I'm checking to see if any have hatched. I might want fried chicken later.
Purrrrfect1
"You walnut"
hellsoundsfantasticrightaboutnow
I'm really into calling people walnuts
ChefObvious
Now imagine doing this with 12 dozen eggs. Because that's what I have to do on a regular basis at the restaurant before accepting them.
MegaMetal
20 years of buying/checking eggs and never found a broke one. Didn't check ONCE, got home and two eggs were broke....
alymac
I sit on them until they hatch, just to be sure.
SamanthaBradshaw
Made me laugh out loud, thanks!
aBadDrawingOfAFishEveryDay
I brush my hand over them to see that none are stuck to the carton. I've been burned before
LoligoTX
This is all it takes.
GreatTeacherMichael
People are weird with eggs. Lady ripped a 12 pack in two in front of me, went to the register, and then didn't know why it rang up as (1/2)
GreatTeacherMichael
a 12 pack and not a 6 pack. Then she lied and said, "there are dozen like that!" There were none, I was the dairy manager.
MidiArbite
There are in some shops she may not have meant in your store. I've seen lazily made half cartons.
YanoiLacroix
I work at a grocery store. Often packages will come to us with broken ones in them. Or sometimes customers will break them on accident, too.
GulDukatja
The one time I forgot to do this, there were cracked eggs. So, yeah.
hillbillygold
To be fair I never checked until last month when I brought home a carton which had two missing. .. now I too doubt.
BaaLikeASheep
I check to make sure they aren't cracked.
AlexDuos
We all gotta touch that hot stove at least once to learn how bad it feels to be burned.
frzn
So you were.out like fifteen cents? Sucks man.
loveisallwereallyhave
I grab grapefruits and throw them blindly into the aisle section while screaming "Bangarang!"
AllHailTheCritbow
what the fu
grandfalloon
The aisle section? Is that the aisle full of aisles, in case you need to pick up aisles?
thornton007
ROOFIO!!!
desertpole
I always open it upside down and give a gentle shake.
BulletWhole
no shit, it sucks to expect 12 and get one that isn't broken.....
thekingandqueenofcheese
One time I seened a man sucking on eggs at the store.
thattatgirl22
I once saw a woman swapping out all the smaller eggs for the bigger ones from other cartons
snivy642
You pecan
TheUltimatePunMaster
As a dairy/frozen employee at a large grocer, we check eggs a lot to make sure they are cracked. Every time we restock (2-3 times a day ) 1/
TheUltimatePunMaster
We check the eggs there to make sure they aren't broken. 2/2
RelevantImgurian
I work on an egg farm. I'll check 60,000 a day by hand to remove cracked ones. You my dear, are fucking lucky aha
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
And when the lady on the checkout checks em, I'm like bitch, I know my eggs. Went through 3 boxes to find something you lot hadn't smashed
Eggbutts
These comments are really confusing for me
Jupsu
I never checked the eggs until a month ago. 2 broken, all of shopping bag in egg. I check the eggs now.
TobyHinloopen
I check the bottom since a cracked egg would leak and leave spots at the bottom of the carton
mixedmode
I like to open the box and loudly say "yep, eggs" to my gf so that everyone else in the isle can hear.
spookyjeff
"oh hey, not teeth this time!"
ramshackleackle
Am doin that. am doin that the night.
honeyham420glazeit
Gilligan?
mixedmode
? Nope
weaselbee
That would make me laugh so hard. Thats a good one. Well done.
Sparkydoodaa
Aisle * or isit spelt like isle in the US or wherever you hail from
Whitney189r
Maybe he's talking about an actual isle, though...
politelydisagreeing
In US it's aisle.
mixedmode
Yep, i meant aisle. It's aisle in the British Isles too. Sorry for the inconvenience that may have been caused by any confusion.
mixedmode
:p
Weddell
"Exactly where I left them"
BaaLikeASheep
The only reason I check is to make sure they aren't cracked.
LTParry
Walnut.
apeinui
I work in an egg packing room. Yes, incomplete cartons can get through when the machine needs calibration or is jammed. Also,
apeinui
there is always a chance that cracked or dirty eggs can get through. Always check, because I always do.
azizakalistayumyum
You walnut-I like that. I will be using that from here on out
DrWillCunow
I once saw a little old lady swapping large free range eggs from the premium carton to the value carton, pretending to check for cracks.
[deleted]
[deleted]
whitevfute
jojordan
Did this with six pack coca cola glass bottles and six pack beer bottles when in HS. Switch them and go through self check out.
owmyribs
I love/hate the way old ladies act around food they have to pay for. My stepgran goes to buffets with her handbag lined with plastic bags,
owmyribs
then tips whole plates of food in there when the waiters aren't looking. Just mushes it all together. Horrifying.
GrinchyGrinchy111
Dude me too.
Koolala
And that little old lady got a fantastic deal on large free range eggs.
MayorLittlefingerCarcetti
I always use the code for the cheapest trail mix when I buy the premium stuff
HoriOri
What you're doing is shoplifting.
Syrusion
You seem like the type of person who drives at the 5mph speed limit in parking garages.
pandagunz
Similar to swapping out coke bottles for beer. You could also swap out non-alcoholic beer for any beer you prefer and not get carded
StirLad
Yeah, and you can just put it in your pockets and walk out and you dont have to pay, either... -.-
justleaveittome
I saw someone swap a UPC of ground beef for prime tomahawk ribeye of the same weight then check out at the self check out. Asshole-genius
owlest
that's theft, not genius. you should have reported him
owlest
I'm getting downvotes from people who think theft is fine, amazing.
CptTuttle
It's because people think it's morally alright to do wrong to large companies that do much more wrong on a daily basis.
djaiaueifich
Thats cuz youre a narc
owlest
and you must be a criminal
ihatewarmpickles
Yeah he's five-o
ihatewarmpickles
Am no a grass
[deleted]
[deleted]
MoreCowBellBaby
Es no a grass
Sprixxen
If it's under $50 they don't care. Security probably saw it and didn't want to risk it. Source: My dad worked security in retail.
owlest
lol wut, I know people who ripped open a magazine plastic to take something out(prob worth less than $1) and got detained by retail people
Sprixxen
Basically a confrontation is not worth $20 in lost product. Too much potential to go wrong.
rocketman89
Worked at a copy store that also sold legal forms. Old people thought it was ok to open form packages, make copies, and put it back shelf 1/
floxsyu
currently work at a store that does the same sales. manager used to allow open legal forms to be returned. I overrule that when hes not in.
rocketman89
Copies were 10c vs paying ~$10 for the form. They never understood why that is stealing.
happykamper
I know right, charging $10 for a piece of paper is total theft!
rocketman89
You can always go to a lawyer or paralegal and have them draft documents for you. Guarantee you'll pay more than $10.
RebeccaRuxin
They're not paying for the paper itself but what's printed on it. Just like, ya know, books
personwhotakesfleetfootwork
hehe paying for stuff you can find online for free
ZebraCockSandwich
one time when I was in collage I rang Fuji apples up as pink lady's because they were 79c cheaper. >.>;
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
How was college for you, ZebraCockSandwich?
NiftyNips
Thank you.
ZebraCockSandwich
Hungry. Mostly. Not to mention the name calling! "Hey, there goes zebracock"sandwich"", they'd yell. Shaking their hoagies at me.
blakeatwork
Old people don't believe the law applies to them
INeedAboutTreeFitty
They're more like guidelines for them
minkuschild
Their lane is more of an option. They are the only person who exists at that moment in time. Stat wise, yea, you have less time. Hurry up!
imakeeper
Or they've just been around long enough to know that almost no one will confront them about it.
Cantabria
Unverbindliche Verhaltensempfehlung.
MidiArbite
"Bah, I've followed that shit long enought!"
whatseventhepointt
According to Patton Oswald they dont
[deleted]
[deleted]
bernlack
Only because they're bad at it, i assume. Natural selection?
itsthevoiceman
[ citation needed ]
blakeatwork
Are you going to be "that dick who harassed my confused grandmother while she was shopping"?
RickC137
shedooooooooo
Bill Cosby is still walking free. People think punishment isn't even worth it when someone could easily drop dead on the way to jail.
MidiArbite
Well, not walking all that well since he's blind, but isn't the trial still ongoing?
luminousbeing
When did Cosby go blind? How did I not hear about that?
MidiArbite
It may just be his lawyers lying but who knows.
NaughtButOne
Of course he's still walking free. He hasn't been convicted of a crime. That's how the law works, DongThongz.
shedooooooooo
Yes b/c of the statute of limitations. Then, he admitted to drugging/raping dozens of women. No ones bothering to fight it further.
SecondSince
But God forbid a 'younger' person ignores a law in front of them. "Oh my, kids these days, no respect for the law!".
SirJ0hns
Then there are the milk maids. Always looking in the back of the milk to see if there is a fabled milk without the ability to expire.
krapmyself
Can't expire if you drink it all.
aboxacaraflatafan
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5452b6838aaeecc95530df169298a54c/tumblr_mhx1duwln51ruy7hjo4_250.gif
nietzschesdownfall
icelandicsealbear
Due to some companies not rotating their stock, some milk is expired before I even pick it up. Some won't last 3 days in the fridge.
whyisthissohot
I do. I'm not buying a gallon of milk that'll expire in six days. I'll look behind that shit to get 12 days.
slartibartfastkhashour
If you have a gallon of milk that long you've no business getting a gallon, go half gallon ya mook
whyisthissohot
I have kids and nieces and nephews who are always over. I never know how much milk to have. Ya mook
ashbee
Get the lactose free stuff. Due to the different way it is pasteurized, it's good for like 6 weeks.
ThePurpleMacaw
but it also tastes different
ashbee
Not really. It is still milk, just pasteurized differentlt.
HowlingFang
would get a customer asking for the freshest milk every few days, Yeah, like I'm going to go 6 pallets deep for the furthest date.
HowlingFang
and the store I worked at is KNOWN for their milk, goes from the cow to the store in 2-3 days, and each store is no more than 40 Miles from
HowlingFang
the farm. It's a small, local chain, but it's got the best damn milk and ice cream around! Lochmead for life bitches~
ThePurpleMacaw
fresh milk is put at the back of the shelf; can get milk that lasts up to a week longer and that lets you buy 3L at a time wich is cheaper
Toxicempanada
Not never just later. Some of us don't use milk that often.
SirJ0hns
Snootch to the nootch
BronzeLeaguePro
I check all levels of milk and pick the carton with the latest expiration date. I don't make a mess, I don't ruin anything, so blow me.
SirJ0hns
It is a reference to a movie. Snootch to the nootch.
Jantessa
I buy Horizon milk, so the expiration can be more than a month apart between two cartons.
Brightandshiny
I'm unfamiliar with this brand, why is the date so far apart?
Jantessa
Organic milk is ultra pasteurized, so it lasts longer (because has to ship further.) The taste is great, but it's pricey vs store milk.
Jantessa
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/experts-organic-milk-lasts-longer/ tl;dr It kills ALL the bacteria vs normal kills some.
MidiArbite
They seem to last a while according to their boxes and they're expensive organic stuff so they don't sell fast?
ChuysSpecial
Like there's a gallon of milk that won't expire for a decade.
NoThanks20
It's like the rest of these comments don't get it. ????
TheBlackVan
Due to some places rotating stock, some of the cartons in the back could have later expiration dates.
SirJ0hns
Snootchie bootchies
thuderstick
That's not how rotating stock works
neeks64
as someone who worked in a dairy department that is 100% how it works. Old stuff in front, new in the back.
DescendingBear
Not how it should work, but I can guarantee you that it sometimes does.
MysticalPidgeon
That's exactly how it works... Put the stuff that'll expire sooner closer so it gets sold before going bad
thuderstick
Ya I misread what he said. Bria issues
thuderstick
Brain
honeyham420glazeit
I checked the eggs. The cashier checked them too. So did the bagger. Brother carried all groceries in one trip. 2 cracked eggs.
Ishalldefenestrateyou
Sounds like your brother needs to be gentler with the eggs.
honeyham420glazeit
MY BROTHER NEEDS TO STOP WITH THE MACHO NONSENSE AND MAKE TWO TRIPS. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm frustrated.
DrTacticalKeyboard
What should he do next? put his balls in a food processor? what are you some sort of sadist?
AdmJota
Nah, he just needs to up his skills. Being a real man requires both strength and gentleness.
pandro
I'm female and the way to avoid this is to carry the eggs and bread in yourself. We don't even put them in the trunk, they ride up front.
TheEmptied
^^^^ winner
Gorapora
Nah he just needs to carry the eggs on top. I've never broken an egg in 20 years.
MidiArbite
It's not macho bullshit, just not liking multiple trips.
NovaZephyr
I spin each egg individually in the carton to see if any are cracked where i can't see it. usually when that happens they stick to it.
Lee1604
Right there with ya!
SurpriseFatGuy
Also quickly balance the carton on your finger. Eggs that have gone rotten will tip the carton one way or another.
nirtiak
As a former grocery store employee, noice
theyjustcallmeD
they're less than a dollar a dozen where i live... i just buy two.
NovaZephyr
Here it's closer to three or four dollars for a dozen except on sale. Eggs and milk are expensive here compared to other places in canada.
Axelord
I just give them a little sideway tug.
yourcreepyunclefriendly
Same I swipe my hand over the box and make sure every eggs moves by touch
AintNoThangBangARang
I'm an egg spinner too.
iTakeQuotesOutOfContext
Just run your fingertips across the top. If they move freely they aren't broken (as you said, they would stick).
shaunaaah
Just a little push to see if they stick does the job.
lyravega
I spin the carton and open it the other way. Saves time
peristomium
But if your store sells them chilled, the eggs shrink and don't leak or stick. Unfortunately.
doshkin
quicker method my (previously grocery store employee) friend taught me was just tilt them all sideways. same effect and can do more at once!
MerToo
Fully pro.
Cammo353
I do a lift n twist
DickAsHardAsLife
I stick them up my ass to see if they can withstand the pressure. If one break I pick up another carton and start over. Only the best.
ilPino
living up to both ends of your username. good to see
NorbertProulxx
Here I am reading the smart suggestions and then I see this... The best suggestion of them all.
bigolfuckinsammich
Funny you should say that.... i spit on each one and pop them in my bum. Then i leave with free egs and my dignity intact.
punkybeanster
Yep, same here.
rotinaj
that's how grocery store workers check.
Green052
This has just changed my life.
FluffyPuppyGuy
Learning to adult, one grocery product at a time! :D
sketchbrah
Everytime brah
IAmTooHighForThis
Hell yeah
SmolTenk
Just wiggle them a bit. they will stick if any are substantially cracked.
NovaZephyr
wiggling usually gives the same result as spinning, though there have been times where wiggling didn't suffice and I started to spin them.
jumpyed
You should flip and check washed eggs though as any crack can allow the egg to be unhealthy.
ToeThumbs
How often do you find a cracked one? Just curious. I'll generally do a quick peek but rarely see any that are cracked.
NovaZephyr
Nearly every time with the first carton. Last week I found two cartons with a cracked egg.
Rexkuando
A simple wiggle does the same thing
aubricus
I like to wiggle my wife's eggs.
johnmcdracula
Fellow egg wiggler here. Works great!
Bizarrogreg
No time to do anything but wiggle. Have to get back to Imgur.
Zacharighteous
Awwww yisssssss, so many egg wrigglers, I thought I was the only one.
GoliathSkittles
Was going to say, that's all I do, wiggle the carton, see if all the eggs move and aren't stuck, jobs done.
HuskyBug
I wiggle my eggs too
johneventually1
My friend worked I that area (refrigerated stuff) of a grocery store for years and told me that trick too.
UltraMadPlayer
YouWOULDsaythat
Confirmed wiggler here.
Obietrice
You could just look on the bottom too. If it's cracked there will be a wet spot. Then open it check that one to make sure.
NovaZephyr
There isn't always a wet spot, and not all cartons are cardboard. The foam ones wouldn't have any evidence of a leak.
18yearoldBlackDynamite
well Obietrice certainly has egg on his/her face now
Obietrice
Touche
Fishworshipper
Grocery store worker here, NovaZephyr is right. Even if the egg is broken and leaking, sometimes the cardboard only darkens on the inside.
lulurafa
Do none of you bother to check if the eggs are still fresh??? I pick one up and shake it. If it's good, then I check them all.
NovaZephyr
Yeah, i check for freshness, that usually comes before checking for sticking.
SalvalecRhaplanca
But the ones that are less fresh peel more cleanly when hard-boiled, and I only ever use eggs for baking, egg salad, and deviled eggs.
GoliathSkittles
Really? You pick up and shake every egg you buy? That seems like overkill, I've had one rotten egg in my time. It's no big deal.
lulurafa
No, I only shake one. Have you tried fresh eggs? It makes a huge difference in taste. Most from the store are not even close to fresh
GoliathSkittles
Then buy them somewhere else, if "most aren't even close to fresh" you're getting them from the wrong place.
lulurafa
That's all the grocery markets where I live! I think you're eating old eggs man
lulurafa
But really, go down to your local store, shake the eggs from different brands and tell me if most don't move around in the shell. I'm curiou