anlyin
224421
6192
185
Cake is better without icing. Fight me.
Strikeout!
Office life without a designated work friend is pretty much impossible
The Janitor stays employed by running a paper shredder from June to August
scottjaeger
this was quality, top to bottom
Grabmebythepussy69
There are only 4 claps in friends theme song, not 5. Get your shit together.
Snaitf
Nothing wrong with #5. A lot of frostings are made too sweet.
CheekyDogLadyAlwaysUpvotesDeanWinchester
Sisters of Plenitude?
rarelyaccuratefacts
Heat releases aroma, which is a major part of taste. Cold food = little smell. Hot food = big smell. Hot ain't a taste you fucknozzle.
Bergeldergle
#2 is accurate before payday, after payday, with small checks, or with large checks...
fatslayer7
That fixer upper tweet is the most realistic thing ive ever seen
ididitforthelolz
@op great dump! I related to several and laughed at many. Good start to the day.
declanbridges
#1 or could be asian
DickDickthedick0331
That is exactly my 8 year old step daughter. Lmfao and made me think of a few of my old work friends. +1
Br1337
One of the funnier dumps in awhile
steviedrawsdinos
Why would someone unironically put a filter on a text post?
cepacolusmaximus
Can someone explain Naraya for my friend?
idkmanitskindadumb
@op has dumping all worked out
Parzival9000
Good dump, +1 OP ;)
Begotten
Dominian
Kylo Ren is Ben Solo.
Begotten
....true?
JudgeNotByTheColorOfOnesSkinButByTheContentsOfOnesDumps
33 nerves?
betterknownasthelittletramp
#22 yes heat is a flavour https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maillard_reaction
grobesviech
You're describing heat during cooking, I think the op refers to cooked food cold vs reheated. For the second point, here's a good read
grobesviech
https://www.google.at/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2013/sep/17/serving-temperature-affects-taste-food
Apelehamamama
#7 - If you like Pina Colada's...
idredman
DAMNIT I SKIPPED THE WHOLE DUMP JUST TO COMMENT THIS
Apelehamamama
sorry bout that
MrBambii
The extra clap in #15 annoys me...
QueenAmy
It’s five. That’s right
GravesForscythe
"No one told you life was gonna be this way! 1-2-3-4
QueenAmy
5
macaujoh2012
It’s four, you’re wrong.
CarlosOfNightvale
Oh shit you're right. The fifth one is an off beat.
QueenAmy
Well, I’ll be! I always clapped give times - I mean, psh, who claps to a tv theme song!?
macaujoh2012
Me. Every. Single. Time. It’s a curse really.
YouThinkThatsBad
Letting Netflix run Friends all day when I have nothing else to do really annoys my roommates
QueenAmy
If you’re in Cleveland I’ll buy the beer and you can teach me when to clap
YouThinkThatsBad
I saw this the other day and agree. What kind of not-real-Friends fan would make a Friends meme?
rockfireman
To be fair, there are a lot of people that don't know it's only 4 claps and not 5.
Leonon
YouThinkThatsBad
That was more satisfying than undoing my belt after a big meal
NoForethought
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!
NoForethought
nobody? :(
BillHaleyandHisBANNEDComments2
#44 I remember that post I up voted that top comment
awildcharmander
Rexli78
#5 Okay I eat cake like that so I can eat the frosting last. What godless heretic doesn’t like chocolate frosting!?!
Kittybitters
I...I don’t. :( but I at least let someone else eat it.
B0ULLIE
Consider me a Godless heretic.
zcollins
#1 or... he likes you a whole lot
BashBack
#1 I think the pharmacist likes her, just has poor bedside manner.
OwenWilsonn
I think the pharmacist is Asian
BashBack
Oh... It's funny... Cause it's racist...
wherearemytesticles
It's not a pharmacy, it's a harmacy.
AuCourant
How much shipping do you charge for one green bean?
appaismyspiritanimal
Click List is Kroger’s grocery pickup service. No charge for shipping, you just still have to go to the store to get your groceries.
pommesfrites
They’re honest questions, Brent
xVVitch
Tree fitty
RoundThreeFIGHT
It's more like grocery take-out. You order, they pick and bag, you drive up and go home
SomeDetroitGuy
It's magical for parents of young children, sick folks, and disabled people.
SportsPhotoGirl
Or people who live in large cities and far away from a grocery store. I ain’t carryin a sack of potatoes and a bunch of cans 3 fuckin miles!
pookieeatworld
Or single guys who absolutely loath grocery shopping...
Metdrummer
Don't forget the lazy or antisocial.
Furretdagod
Grocery stores near me offer home delivery for 7 dollars flatrate
coppernicus
Basically if you can work an extra hour and make more than minimum wage, you just paid to not deal with grocery shopping. That sounds great
YouThinkThatsBad
I need to start doing this because lately I can’t go to the store without going into a rage. Everyone is in my way, slowly moving, and 1/2
YouThinkThatsBad
there’s only ever 2 lanes open with 10 people in each. But I feel I get better deals and like browsing at the grocery store for what I need
trinabeana23
Are you .....are you my grumpy husband who has lost all patience w everyone & everything ever????
SaltEverywhere
Then go in the morning or at night
Waitihavesomething4this
We switched to ClickList at Kroger and order our food the night before. We spend WAY less not meandering around
The1Freeman
#24 all that stuff is true about my work friend, but I also see him outside of work. Are we married by default?
beardyfaceguy
The "Office Spouse" is a thing, and it's way better than a real spouse because you don't argue about dirty dishes and toilet paper.
Rips4w
Some might call him your friend. Like, just the word. No classifiers.
The1Freeman
Who asked you to bring your brain into this conversation?
Rips4w
Apologies.
scottjaeger
your handle should be "seniorcrazypants"
Rips4w
I like it.
lordski
Yes
The1Freeman
Man... what kind of ring do I buy?
justsome
Depends on which videogames you play together
lordski
You have to ask HR about that. I'm just in IT.
boogertown
Cock ring
boogertown
You wish
tiredviking
Good dump but that cake hurt my soul..
SwivelSwirl
I'm sorry. At least when I do that, I end up making mush with the frosting and crumbs because I'm bored? Better?
Blushworthy
I like frosting though
TygrF
I mean, the ONLY PURPOSE for the existence of cake is as a vehicle for the delivery of frosting.
tpgreyknight
Snooj
Not me, that's wife material. I love frosting. My wife doesn't. Together we eat all the cake.
Greymalum
I'm ok with it because I don't like most frosting. It's a texture/sweetness thing.
Blushworthy
Have you ever seen the cake posts on imgur? 9 out of 10 of the comments are from people that think there is too much frosting for the cake
Dombieman
Boooooo booooooo those people! Boooooo i say!
trinabeana23
YES!!! Scrap the icing off husbands & children's piece so that I get MORE icing while telling them that icing is just pure sugar moooohahaha
MishiMoshiSquishyToesies
Whipped cream and/or ganache > frosting
MishiMoshiSquishyToesies
Though making frosting too heavy and sugary is more of a problem for store-brought cakes (especially American cakes).
axiomatik
If it’s a store-bought cake, I probably agree. Store-bought cake icing is kinda gross. Homemade cake? Give me more frosting!
trinabeana23
When I was pregnant at 18yrs old (TOO YOUNG BTW), I went to grocery store bought sheet cake licked all icing off & threw cake in dumpster...
trinabeana23
my ex came home & coddled me all night bc I was so sick & told him no idea what caused it & oh yeah I ate ONE candy made my tongue blue ;P
axiomatik
Ugh. I think my stomach is starting to feel unsettled just *thinking about* eating all that frosting.
mgeemyboy
My picture would be the reverse. All frosting gone and all the cake left.
trinabeana23
tpgreyknight
Am I the only person around here who just eats cake normally?!
mgeemyboy
Yup.
scoobydoobydoh
I like my cake in a bowl with milk...like a lot of milk
tpgreyknight
I'm calling the police.
GilderoyPopDropNLockart
Frosting can get out of my face
WardSharlow
I eat cake like that, but it's because I love frosting and save it for last.
GoneMadBrb
TheNameOfThisUserIsRelevant
TonyStankIsAlright
Lol same. I want mouthfuls of frosting!
TygrF
See, when *I* say this, it sounds dirty...
daguq
MeloszKoz
I thought the same but that would mean this was a real situation and not entirely fabricated. Where would the man get his internet points?!?
dinocratic
If you like piña coladas.
Bluegrasslass
Why not? The entire marriage is based on lies anyway ...
daguq
Yup, deserve each other.
boogertown
Also the husband and wife live in the same area so 100% guarantee she either already saw him on tinder or will soon
LegoGunsandGames
Since both parties seem unhappy and this would be a Musial agreement, say it with me now... D-I-V-O-R-C-E
upvotehypnotoad
Her friend prob saw him first so she got on to play the same game
BreadyStinellis
OR they should just be honest with each other because they're fucking married. Clearly both are unhappy or into the idea of an open
BreadyStinellis
Relationship and they should discuss it.
DropKickHead
Discussing an open relationship ruins all the excitement of taking your side out
poets
IntoxicatedUnity
Won’t work in this instance: clearly this guy wants to have his fun but doesn’t want her to have her fun. He’s angry about it not accepting
B0ULLIE
It's never that easy. Lots of shit to weigh (including one's desires) when your lives are that entwined
BreadyStinellis
Of course. But creating a lying so you dont get caught doing the exact same thing is just silly.
B0ULLIE
No my friend, that's Humanity
limonchiki
I never heard "shiesty". I can guess what it means, but is that an often used word?
JustinMKelly6060
Growing up in California in the 90s we used to use it a lot.
BreadyStinellis
In Wisconsin, yes.
B0ULLIE
I never realize how different growing up with slang is until I see comments like this. The word isn't used often anymore. More a 90's thing
3Davideo
I'm guessing it's a portmanteau of "shitty" and "feisty".
InsufferablePedant
Nope, adjective form of "shyster"
daguq
Looks like a neologism derived as an adjective from the noun, shyster.
limonchiki
i see, thanks!
KeishaFabo
Because it is a lie
VIOLENTLYcreatesusername
And that friends name?..
1ntelli
Jake from State Farm
Derpislav
Albert Einste-uh, oh, nevermind, force of habit
beardyfaceguy
*under-breath; Shit!* Uhhh.... It was um, Tim Der from work.
thehighestfever
JOHN CENA!
HughLaurie
That's why you give a name up front "I was on Facebook and my coworker Balthazar said he recognized you from Tinder".
upvotehypnotoad
Too much info/details up front are key giveaways for lies. You screenshot it, txt to a friend, have them txt it back to you. Go "this YOU?!"
ward5x5
Jeff from work
daguq
Nobody trusts Jeff from work.
justsome
Fuckin Jeff.
ZLKdrummer
Is no one going to mention the pina colada song??
EveryDayIsCakeDayForMe
I'm guessing a lot of people don't know any of the words besides the chorus
3Davideo
I didn't either, until somebody once told me the rest of them.
EveryDayIsCakeDayForMe
Yea, I remember looking up the lyrics after my mom told me what the song was about. I was fortunate enough to inherit my folks music taste
3Davideo
... until "SOMEbody once told me"...
JustALullabi
I can sing the whole goddamn song, but only when I hear the music. It's a stupid gift to have, besides sounding like a sick crow... ? ♀️
TonyStankIsAlright
Good one!
sometimespeopleeatpoop
Poppyshell
.
anunhingedferriswheelrollingtowardsthesea
It's Justice Beaver
Athelric
Mexico is having problems with people doing vigilante/mob justice based on FaceBook posts warning people about alleged pedophile rings. 1/?
Athelric
Random people like out-of-towners, visitors, people who aren't locals, etc. are getting murdered because a game of whispers or telephone 2/?
Athelric
is happening on social media. I saw recently a father and son visiting a town were both accused because people thought they were 3/?
Athelric
suspicious. Police tried to keep them in jail for their protection but that might have convinced the crowd even more and the crowd broke 4/?
Athelric
in the jail and dragged both of them out. They murdered them and set them on fire. All because of (fake)rumors they were part of a child 5/?