FascistSlendermann
63774
3397
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Jun 30, 2016 7:00 PM
FascistSlendermann
63774
3397
112
SJM85
At least you got to bear arms?
MasterOfThePuns
AFIX BAYONETS GENTLEMEN!
PcGamePlayer
One day I can only hope to use my 1863 Springfield for this. I've played it out hundreds of times in my head.
NotSlimStillShady
+1 for rapscallions
kaitox
If this story was a bit less fake it would be trump university.
GeorgeStobbart
But yous love guns tho eh?
ChiefEmosewa
God bless America
FascistSlendermann
You're Goddamn right
sperli04
JustFuckingLetMeGoPlease
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is fake...
GaryTheCuttlefish
JustFuckingLetMeGoPlease
Ahhhhh, I love memes
krhz
@Op I want you to know I died on the floor laughing at this +1
FascistSlendermann
As did I friend! As did I
deeviralbuzz
JohnnyVarlow
Are we not going to talk about the big pupper
Kingsmia
Definitely not :(
somethingnotyettaken
I think you're slightly over-estimating the power of a smoothbore musket loaded with shit powder and a wonky lead ball.
japh
Not necessarily. This guy shoots a musket through a couple inches of plywood. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_dgFZEBTLU
benisoyylmao
i think you are forgtting that musket rounds were huge as fuck and that this imaginary scenario is at close range.
somethingnotyettaken
Yeah, but a hole a foot across in a guy, then threw a wall and a dog? Bit much, I think ;)
benisoyylmao
i was leaving it at the hole in the foot. forgot about the rest.
somethingnotyettaken
Or even through a wall. I am aware musket balls cannot throw walls. Ahem. More coffee.
JackBurtonPorkChopExpress
pizzabuzz
Tell us the one about the blunderbuss.
FascistSlendermann
Now that would be brutal
ActualCannibalShia
Be Farmer Giles. A giant trespasses. There's no pellets. Fill blunderbuss with broken pottery and wire. Hit giant in the eye. Be hero.
DougDeNasty
Hear noise, grab blunderbuss, no ammo, just porn connection. Fill blunderbuss with used Kleenex(tm) and fire. Level city block.
ARandomHelljumper
Cum turns into hyper velocity slugs mid flight, knocks out an M1A2 Abrams 20 miles away.
armangac
Reading this at 03:47 waiting for that window to crash.
PozzyBear
https://youtu.be/LORVfnFtcH0
marsgoose
Video of a guy shitposting on imgur. Our writing tools have changed, shouldn't our free speech laws?
FascistSlendermann
I found this video ridiculous and hilarious. Also he's a horrible shot with a musket.
ldt003
But if our guns have changed, haven't other people's guns? Just sayin...
sendnudesNmemes
Musket does not equal cannon.
iamjman
Is it coincidence that independence day is this week?
mcolley73
This is hilarious!! Now do the one where you're shooting a rifle with a barrel of bullets in a theater (just as the founders intended)!
FascistSlendermann
What is a barrel of bullets
dualmonocles
Obviously the bullets are stacked in the barrel for maximum high assault capacity
mcolley73
Sorry, "drum". *basking in downvotes* http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/22/us/colorado-shooting-investigation/
FascistSlendermann
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iJmFEv6BHM0 Scary words confuse the uninformed
mcolley73
Oooh, out-thunk! Now I'm misinformed! I forgot to say, "Yay, killers! You're welcome for us continuing to enable you!"
FascistSlendermann
Ya know what! I've got the perfect plan. Let's just make murder and mass murder illegal ! Yeah!!
benisoyylmao
who is "us?"
Gibblestick
I highly doubt the founding fathers wanted you to destroy TVs. Shooting cops probably wasn't high on the agenda either but I get the point
raidleadergutts
I'm like 87% sure that shooting law enforcement was pretty high on the founding fathers agenda, since they were fighting and whatnot.
FascistSlendermann
And dogs
Th4tDumpster
Especially not dogs!
Gibblestick
I must have blanked out that part for being too horrible to think about. So yeah, dogs too.
Panzer89
That's the ATFs specialty.
BobVanAndel
bigmyles
damn redcoat
kilocron
This one is way better
TheLordHelix
>immediately taken to insane asylum
geneparmesan07
Ah...the original.
Nick11235
Muskets, for when cannons are too expensive.
ChaoticScholar
The last argument of kings.
MrPotatoeHead
Shhhhhhhh, don't tell him pistols also existed back then
billyunsnbillyuns
He mentioned a flintlock pistol tho
ReLeVaNtUSERNAMESareReLeVaNT
Or early revolvers since they first were invented over 50 years before the Revolutionary War(they been around since the late 16th century)
historyboeuf
And even said it was a smoothbore flintlock pistol...
Freecheeseballs
Why do you need a gun to attack/kill people who are just going to grab your TV? Why not simply call the police?
Iyaayas41
To shoot idiots such you you! And tv grabbers....fuck them too!!
GaryTheCuttlefish
Because the average home in the US is 20 minutes away from a pice station, and you have the right to defend your property.
FitzChevalric
"Home defense musket" +1
paeches
"Be me" +1
Moosenborn
#banallassaultmuskets
WeNeedAnotherPlague
For all your settlement defending needs.
TimeVault
Another settlement needs your help
innodence
No thanks.
Siegmier1
gadaf
Needs more attachments.
ARandomHelljumper
Silencer and under barrel XM-25, then we're talking.
DiracsDelta
And you only get freedom of speech if you use quill and ink.
AminalPlanet
Grab my AR-15. Think about my dead child who accidentally shot himself as I kill two scared humans. I'm dead inside.
benisoyylmao
were you attempting to greentext here?
FascistSlendermann
I'll take "things that never happened to you" for 500 Alex
AminalPlanet
http://m.aje.oxfordjournals.org/content/160/10/929.full
benisoyylmao
whats your point exactly?
FascistSlendermann
I've got a damn armory in my home and no one has died thus far. And no one will.
AminalPlanet
Lol. Says every person who ends up shooting themself or someone else. But no sorry, everyone else is dumb and you're special.
FascistSlendermann
Exactly dude. I mean I put locks on em. This way they can't shoot anyone on their own. They're sneaky like that
AminalPlanet
Yup. Just a statistically more likely scenario than the one above.
FascistSlendermann
Yeah no shit. You're also more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark. Your point?
AminalPlanet
Better stock up on cows in case a shark breaks into my house.
FascistSlendermann
No see the cow will kill you. Your not listening
cptcr
If we can't have anything other than muskets can we take the vote away from women and own people? Like the founding fathers intended?
TheCorvus
And free speech only applies to things made on a 1700s era printing press. Obviously the Founders couldn't anticipate the Internet.
mcolley73
Also, "if we will always get to have whatever guns we want..."
cptcr
not sure what you're saying... are we arguing or agreeing?
mcolley73
Yes! No! Constitution trumps everything! I don't even know anymore.
cptcr
Aardvark! Comfort! Bleepble blorp fart! You don't support the troops! 7/11 was a part time job!
mcolley73
+1 for Bleepble blorp.
HamsterOnAGoat
always downvote greentext
FascistSlendermann
Always downvote people who downvote greentext
HamsterOnAGoat
always downvote people who downvote people who downvote greentext
Theman098
always downvote people who downvote people who downvote people who downvote greentext.
HamsterOnAGoat
I'm running out of characters with the 140 limit too keep this going, TBH....
Theman098
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
jb99890
Is that why bayonets are shaped that way? Man are we dicks to each other.
smaug777000
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/13b8zt/triangular_bayonets_banned_disliked_or_what/c72j2lt
WhoopAssMcGue
Mostly because it's less prone to bending/breaking
Gravybutt
Bayonets are made so the wound can't heal well. I have bayonets on my old rifles and they're nasty inventions.
Treblaine
Uhh the cross section had near nothing to do with the shape of the wound, it's just a triangle cross section didn't bend/buckle on a stab.
Killertortilla
There is a fantastic scene in Mash where Potter loses it because he has to learn a new procedure for white phosphorus rounds 1/2
Killertortilla
removal. It really puts the "we are dicks to eachother" in perspective when you learn that it's one of the real stories from the doctors 2/2
ServantOfTheGodEmperorOfUsersub
They were also less prone to getting stuck.
HatsAreEssential
Yeah, though the "impossible to stitch up" part is bullshit. It's just harder to field dress the injury, making survival less likely.
Swordrager
It's impossible to just stitch a triangular hole, unlike a linear slice.
nerdyvet
I have SUTURED many a triangular hole together. It seems to be a favorite shape for dogs to rip into each other. You make a y-shape.
HatsAreEssential
It's hard. But a talented surgeon could stitch a shattered egg back together. Modern medicine in a good hospital is ridiculously capable.
JohnJacobJingleHeimerSmitt
Pretty much, some have serrated edges for extra fuckery
Treblaine
No, they overwhelmingly didn't, serrated edges would only increase chance of it getting stuck in the first target.
vonKaiser
S1enderDan
Well, the German ones were actually meant to cut trees.
freenbeen
Trees, bones...ya know
itspronouncedtehahtimeeh
Germans shaved it off because of accounts of men getting tortured to death if caught with it even though both sides issued sawbacks as tools
jb99890
I mean I guess thats why bodkins were invented. Still though, fuck am I glad I was born in this era.
IllusivePanda
Bodkin arrows were used for their improved armor penetrating qualities, the tip passes through mail links and can penetrate plate
jb99890
I thought the barb made it incredibly difficult to remove, as its towards the direction you'd pull it out?
IllusivePanda
Bodkins have the shape of a long pyramid, they aren't barbed https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/Bodkin1.jpg
DavidBrooker
War has evolved a lot in a few centuries. Early rifleman were, aside from opening volleys, essentially pikemen. Bayonets evolved from that.
thorkild91
Umm. Are you entirely sure you want to use rifleman as your terminology? Seems like that's a poor choice.
DavidBrooker
Fusiliers and musketeers, more like; I suppose you're right.
thorkild91
I didn't want to be a dick about it but yeah. Usually riflemen have.... Rifles
DisarmingBaton5
https://youtu.be/hKRa966S5Dc
DavidBrooker
As rifles improved, and the bayonet became valued less a weapon and more as a general-purpose tool, becoming more knife-like was a big plus.
DMQ88
There exists a knife that has a triangular cross-section, but the blade also twists. For killing peeps.
akmarksman
Those damn marshmallow bits of tasty sugar..
APlumpDog
/a/1YmyH
penguinsrulez
Well triangular bayonets were. But they're illegal to use in combat for that reason
dembonz00
I have one for my Mosin.
dpidcoe
Triangular tip though? My Mosin came with a flat one (which actually doubles nicely as a flathead screwdriver for field maintenance)
dembonz00
Yep. It's triangular.
IAmGodot
That's a lie basically started by Pawn Stars. Can't find a single good source to support that allegation anywhere.
EscarFrazzle
Non frangible bullets can't be used either, unless it's a crack head inside the USA of course.
smaug777000
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/13b8zt/triangular_bayonets_banned_disliked_or_what/c72j2lt
gulker
.
TheWayADrillWorks
Something something love and war
snurx
NO. Do NOT use bayonets for love!
BraveNewRedditor
obligatory "anything is a dildo if youre brave enough"
Phenomeno
That's actually not true. They were designed that way to be stronger so you could thrust deeper
ImgurAddict1
*Lenny face because mobile*
Eridith
You can copy and paste it
ImgurAddict1
*Ahem* MOBILE. It's kinda hard with my Phone.
Noevilgifs
Paraphrasing
Grimtastic
Nothing worse than getting shot because your bayonet is stuck in someone's chest cavity...
SaunterbluggetHampterfuppinshire
Isn't there some benefit to in that a wounded soldier costs more than a dead one? Putting extra strain on resources.
Grimtastic
This is absolutely a tactic employed by snipers / machine gun teams. We used it in quite a few ambushes while I was in Iraq,So did the OPFOR
TeamDoberman
Wow never thought of it that way. But a hospital wing full of survivors need constant food and attention would be worse for war then morgue
DestregaKnight
Training, skill, experience, and instinct are expensive to build up, if the survivors are capable of being redeployed afterwards.
DestregaKnight
It typically is more cost effective to rehabilitate than to piss away time,materials, and morale (we'd rather you die) isnt good PR
Grimtastic
It's more about rendering a team combat ineffective, for every guy you incapacitate, it takes 2 guys to carry him.
ReLeVaNtUSERNAMESareReLeVaNT
Its the whole idea behind the adopting 5.56x45 NATO(.223 rem) and 5.45x39 Soviet and because they are lighter and smaller you can carry more
dpidcoe
Yeah, but you need the wound to be survivable enough that it's even worth trying to save the guy.
FrankJ7
Rules in war are almost funny to me. ''Alright you can kill eachother, but be nice about it.''
HexGenderedPlasmaHorse
The way I understand it is cooperating in an iterated prisoner's dilemma. But that's hard to explain in imgur size comments.
fistermatic5000
They go back a very long way
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
You are supposed to win a war, not just kill most people. Think WW2 with massive use of gas and bio weapons. They are a good thing indeed.
Lookclosely
And you never actually kill someone, cause thats just stupid! The enemy is just 1 man short. But if you hurt some1 atleast 1 needs to help.
Lookclosely
Sry for all the 1s, i just wanted to fit everything in one comment
raidleadergutts
Don't you mean "1 comment"?
Idownvotewhenyousayplus1
Not that I disagree with you but if a few guys play by the rules a couple lives can be lengthened. Basically if you shoot a medic fuck you
supersonik
but wouldnt the people who follow the rules be decent humans anyway, and the type of person who break the rules would shoot a medic anyway?
Orenda
Sure, but the rule is there to define decency that EVERYBODY is held accountable to once the war is over.
HeyGuysAmIRelevantYet
That's why we punish rulebreakers
conniecpu
War Crimes
whitter86
In wars most of the soldiers are law abiding citizens who are following the rules. It's the ones pulling the strings that need a bashing.
dulciusexasperis
As a corpsman thanks bro
HeartHeartWinkAndPoint
I'm going in soon to be a corpsman! Free side or blue?
NoStrangerToLove
As an infantryman, no THANK YOU.
[deleted]
[deleted]
boogaloobear
Are nuclear bombs an "illegal" wartime weapon like poison gas is?
Orenda
Not actually illigal in and of itself, but the effects of using one is considered as commiting multiple war crimes.
LassKibble
No. All nuclear capable countries must be permitted the option to use their arsenals so that none of them can. MAD.
ATuningFork
Pretty sure they are due to the long-term radiation damage to survivors and land. Wartime laws dictate that all weapons designed to kill 1/2
ATuningFork
should do so as swiftly and painlessly as possible, within reason. That's why NATO outlawed shit like white phosphorus. 2/2
1metalnation
The rules of war are there to make killing as painless as possible, excessive brutality isn't necessary to kill
KomradeTrooper
You don't need to kill to win a war, you just have to make the enemy unable to fight
Treblaine
Sometimes it's sheer practicality, like gas was banned as it just forced EVERYONE to use expensive countermeasures, so no change only cost.
SandpaperCock
no, see: https://www.icrc.org/eng/resources/documents/misc/5ksk7q.htm
Treblaine
Regular nuclear bombs, mostly legal as the primary use is blast and heat, like regular explosives, the fallout is incidental.
fistermatic5000
I don't believe so, but backlash from the international community would make it like it was anyway
boogaloobear
I always figured whichever country decided to be the "first" to drop one will be basically blacklisted by everyone else.