My first baby was just born

Jan 1, 2014 4:34 AM

FilmNerd

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131194

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7599

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208

The mother and I aren't together, but we decided to raise her as friends, so she called me to tell me it was time

I grabbed her new doll (My buddy makes these, so he signed it, but I removed the tag before giving it to the baby)

Even though it was 4:30 AM, I still hit every red light. But Edgar (the doll) and I got her to the hospital

Then we waited... a lot

She said she wanted crackers, one of my best friend decided she would not want for fucking crackers

2 minutes later, she was told she couldn't eat (Note, this is not the mother, this is Russian President Vladimir Putin)

Labor in a first pregnancy can last like 16 hours, so I found something that would make that seem like a breeze

Sea World like "Splash Zone" got me a little worried

Then it got a little Exorcist-y, so I put the phone and laptop away

Anyway here's my daughter grabbing my finger, moments after being born (sorry 'bout the goo)

And spooning with her new best friend, Edgar (notice no tag, good parenting up in this bitch)

My heart melts a little every time she grabs my finger

Me and the daughter. (Yes, that is literally a chart that reminds us to feed her)

One of my best friends got me this to commemorate the day

Couldn't get my whole hand to fit in it though...

And here's Hazel sans goo, and with a bit more normal shaped of a head

And since you got this far, here's Kim Jung-un riding a ski-lift

Words on a Shirt!

12 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

My son's father and I are in the same situation. It CAN work, people! Good job, OP! You're already rocking the fathering!

12 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

+1 for words on a shirt.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Cute story. Adorable baby. But what's the website/number to get one of those dolls?

12 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 1

www.creationville.com

12 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 1

So I read the name wrong and thought you named her Han Solo.

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I tried... the mom vetoes it

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hazel is a very pretty name though

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your shirt made me laugh out loud xD 'Words on a shirt'

12 years ago | Likes 127 Dislikes 0

I have that shirt too! I believe it was from www.badideatshirts.com/ but may have been tshirthell.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Someday the daughter will look at these pictures and roll her eyes.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

:') we will be part of that memory!

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

+1 for the last time you'll ever be able to play civ.

12 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 4

Are you kidding me? My daughter is 8 months old, walking(running) around the house and I still get to play. AND I'm a single mother.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Personal experience: the first few months is the best time to play video games.

12 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I'm onto my second and I've lost no gaming time to children, only to work. My eldest plays with me, now.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It will be missed

12 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Buy a controller at a thrift store for when baby gets older. You'll be fine.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As a gamer and a dad, absolutely not! Turn-based games are perfect. Holding sleeping baby in one arm? No problem for Civ 5, or Disgaea, etc.

12 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

This.slow or turn based games are easy. Its the action games that mandate both hands that are hard mode

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Are you kidding me? Civ is turn based, one handed game. that is the only game you can play while rocking a child to back sleep at 4am!

12 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Glad to see other exes raising their kids as friends, give her a happy life man ^_^

12 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Oh hey its my baby daddy! I had to come upvote your comment when you said you made one!

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

We aren't alone!

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It is a wonderful time to be alive!

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Usually newborns look like little adorable aliens. I must say you have one beautiful newborn. :D grats

12 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Thank god they put the feeding thing on charts. Lets be honest, we never look at instructions or conditions, but we look at charts.

12 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

"she would not want for fucking crackers"

12 years ago | Likes 390 Dislikes 3

Also, those are indeed words on a shirt.

12 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

My friends brought 3 grocery bags of snacks when I was in labor. I had one j

12 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

juice box then the whole there's a human trying to ram its way out of me kicked in and coudln't eat. :(

12 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

yo i love juice boxes. congrats on the whole having a baby thing!

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

you should smoke weed during labor

12 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

do people do that? and do docs allow that?

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

haha i meant to write shouldn't. i am a failure at jokes

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You look young OP... Congrats and please never leave her side

12 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Congrats, OP! Cute doll and a beautiful baby!

12 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Has a baby together. Still just friends.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This is lovely! My parents raised me together as a non-couple, and I turned out to be a decently inoffensive 21-year-old lady!

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Imgbro, that is that right thing to do. A strong father image can make a difference, so don't waiver on your resolution to be her dad.

12 years ago | Likes 1761 Dislikes 7

Bromgurian would be better, just saying.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

well said. this guy is doing it right.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They are now more together than many couples who are actually together. Raising a child together with someone is the ultimate commitment.

12 years ago | Likes 131 Dislikes 1

Words in a comment.

12 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

First, congrats on the little one! Second, no matter what happens between the mom and you, always fight for her. Third, you're awesome.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The finger grab, just about the sweetest moment. Good luck being a new dad, you seem to be doing fine so far.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hazel Sans Goo its a pretty good name

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Describing childbirth as "exorcist-y" does not encourage one to have children. Scaaary stuff. At least there's crackers.

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Hey, it can be easy! I was tiiiiny kid, had movie birth. It was pretty much 1, 2, 3, BABY!

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm currently in the hospital , wife is 9cm dialated....thanks for sharing. Its go time!

12 years ago | Likes 225 Dislikes 1

Upvoting and hoping you'll follow through with pix for Imgurians, since you spilled the beans

12 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

aaand your comment trumped the whole post. All the best, although you've probably delivered by now!

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am 56 days away! (not that I'm counting or anything...) CONGRATS! I can't wait to be in your place! ...kinda lol

12 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Pics or it didn't happen!!!!! Of the child, not the dialation......

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Good luck!

12 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 2

I'm motherfucking two days overdue so far in the middle of Australian Summer. Little envious of you guys.

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I was 5 weeks early during a Florida summer. I feel your pain. And the puddles of sweat.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My little girl was 7 days late, hang in there

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's sooooo hot though :C

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oh yeah, that can't be fun, we're in the dead of winter, and the mother was still near the brink by day 7

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well you guys are onto it now :)

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Congrats about the kid but condolences for not being able to get the hand-print thing to work. So sad.

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

It was a joke with my hand, still hard to work with her's just yet, will do it eventually

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Don't wait too long, OP. Once she starts moving around, you won't be able to get a clear print without smudges. I tried with both of my kids

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Hazel is such a pretty name! Welcome to parenthood. As a fellow co-parent-and- friend it can absolutely be done. :) Congrats!

12 years ago | Likes 397 Dislikes 0

Plot twist....It Hazel with a short A...a play on the word hassle.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

HAZEL GRACE LANCASTER.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My name is Hazel and I hate it XD

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Agree, Hazel is my favorite name! I hope to use it someday :) Congrats OP!

12 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Words on a Shirt. I want that shirt.

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

YES!!! Thank you!! lol

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Judging by the ear, your baby is an elf.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My little girl has an elf ear too, it's so cute! Lol

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your baby is beautiful. The story is lovely...but I NEED one of those stuffed toys!

12 years ago | Likes 675 Dislikes 4

To be fair, pretty much every baby looks like that :')

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

No, seriously, some look like little trolls. This is a magazine model baby

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Here's the link to my buddy's site, they're well worth it. www.creationville.com

12 years ago | Likes 154 Dislikes 1

Definitely getting one. Thank you so much! Also, congratulations :)

12 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

I get one for ME. Lol

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

commenting cause I want to get one for my goddaughter!

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Commenting for later

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I didn't even realize this was educational. Holy crap. I am a teacher and I LOVE this. Must have for my classroom

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Commenting so I can access the site at a time in the future

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Somewhere, there is a church that's very angry "creationville.com" is already taken.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Commenting for later

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Commenting for later.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

First off, congrats on the absolutely beautiful baby (and hair). And also, any idea when your friend will have more books? My 4 year (1/2)

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'll ask and update, but I'm pretty sure everything he has is on the site, he's still trying to get it off the ground

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

nephew would LOVE that.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ditto, commenting fo lates :-)

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You just made your friend famous. Ask for advertisment money...he owes you a million now.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Commenting for later.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That was a good way to slip in an ad for a friend :P

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Haha wasn't intentional at first, I just really like the doll. Also, did you know 4 out of 5 Dentists recommend Crest?!

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I bet this is gonna get your friend quite a bit of new business... Also, commenting for later.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Commenting because I NEED it :O

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Plot twist: the friend who makes those toys is Adam Gaynor, former member of Matchbox Twenty. I'm not making this up, it's actually true.

12 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Your heart melts now when she grabs your finger, just wait till 5-6 weeks into it when she makes eye contact and smiles at you. I cried.

12 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 0

my friends' 7 mo. old girl nearly flipped out with joy when she saw her daddy coming downstairs. Totally adorable.

12 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Awww.. my first memories are being like 2 running to my dad when he got home from work. I hope I experience that someday!! :D

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

*while pooping

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

While I do frequently cry while pooping, that's besides the point here.

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I...I meant the baby is pooping while gazing deeply into your eyes like they are the Gateway to the Void of Eternal Peril

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Or when they're about 1 and run over and hug you around the legs. I almost broke glass with my squeal of joy

12 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

My son is 6 months and I noticed he now has a freckle on his knee last night. I burst into tears.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My baby's dad was sleep the ENTIRE time I was in labor. Didn't come in the room for over two hours after my son was born.

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Asleep*

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

That's kinda assholey of him..

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Welcome to my life.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

My ex husband and I do everything we can to stay friends. It's important to us that our kids know we're a united front, married or not.

12 years ago | Likes 1389 Dislikes 2

Good for you. My parents hate each other and it makes it a huge pain in the ass.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Amen! The way my ex and I think of it is "it's not our kids fault we didn't make it as a couple."

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Good job. My kids know that me and the ex are strained at times, but they see us discussing their school and laughing together.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Good job. My kids know that me and the ex are strained at times, but they see us discussing their school and laughing together.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Ditto. Except it's ex-wife.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You aren't united, you're divorced. Damn it, I'm the dumb one.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

That's smart. I had a friend who played her parents against each other like they were pianos. She was damned good at it.

12 years ago | Likes 134 Dislikes 1

Used to do that when I was much younger, then realized it was shitty of me.

12 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

This. Your kids probably adore you for that. My mom managed to do that with my sis and bro's dad (my dad is a diff story) and they (1/?)

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

love her for it. My sis's hubby had to choose between his parents being at their wedding, but my sis could have both. Which is awesome!(2/?)

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I applaud you and your ex for being good parents and being mature for your kiddos. Bravo!

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

my ex and I are the same way! kuddos to those parents who can make it the best possible situation for their kids!!

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

My ex and are are good friends and it annoys our sons when they get the same answer from both of us. We compare notes before big decisions.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I wish my dad and my sisters mum could do this she's only 5 and I can already see the damage :( works me to think what she will be like

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My fiance and I both have kids with exes and we are all friends. People find it weird. I'm just glad there isn't drama.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My family goes to my Dad's ex-wife's house every Thanksgiving. My bio-father refuses to even be in the same room as my mom, 24 years later.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My parents managed to do that. I'm fcuked up for different reasons but they were always my backbone. Together and separated. ♥ For parents.

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

My mom did everything to make my dad seem like the devil. I ended up living with him after she got re-married. I wish I had parents like you

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My soon to be ex husband assaulted me, cheated on me, and is a drug abuser. He has threatened me and I'm hesitant to be friends with him.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In that case, absolutely get sole custody, it takes both sides

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seriously, good for you. My fiancées kids' dad is a piece of crap and undermines everything we try to instill in the kids.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Amen sistah! Us too.. and sometimes it isn't so easy. But then we look at our kid and get over it.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This comment made me tear up because my parents did the same exact thing for 26 years. Being a united front is so important and your (1/2)

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

children will be so much better for it. Try not to argue in front of them or say negative things about your partner. You're a rockstar.(2/2)

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How? My husband and I are about to split, and we both want this for our son...but I could srsly use some advice.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I'm obviously still absurdly new at this, but the mother and I agreed to never say anything bad about the other in front of our daughter

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You have to start by being polite and civil, even through the hurt. It gets better if you concentrate on being parents first. Takes time :(

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

It's going to take a lot of hard work and selflessness, but it will be so worth it. I agree with the other guy, be parents first.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thanks for this. We are both dedicated to our son, and both want to give him a happy childhood and good life...this is so hard.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My bro has a friend whose parents don't get along. His parents won't even let him visit the other when he stays with either of them.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

my ex's dad took away his house key every time it was his week at his mom's. it was a pretty f'd up situation.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

His dad won't even let him pick up his bike (main method of transport) when he lives with him.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

parent's can be really shitty. it'll be easier once he moves out :/

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0