PraisePowerfulOdin
155294
10501
284
mood
SaFo98
shouldn't it be 'tries to look cool but vapes'
GGEZ
I had to stop reading and scroll to the comments so I would stop laughing like an idiot in class.
Jackalac
I have to leave work, I will finish this in the morning.
Jackalac
Woa woa, what's with the repeats at the end!?
AngeIa
Thanks for being considerate enough to let us all know your plans.
Cursa
'tis a good dump +1
abcismasta
I like how a large portion repeated in lower quality
SOAKLOGSINWOODS
That's how social media works.
chardlz
Could somebody explain #28 the one about the librarian and the ramps is it just not a joke or is there something I'm missing about the setup
Wambots
I, too, am befuddled by this one.
Snaitf
See above...
MovingtoAntarctica
I'm guessing the husband researches the stupid and dangerous stuff he does at the library before he does it, so the librarian is warning her
Snaitf
Guy trying to check out a book on Ramps - Librarian calls his wife to warn her.
arcadia2000
I think it's just basically, "Come get him before he kills himself trying to do something rad."
imtiffffany
He wants to buy/make ramps to do tricks off of such as jumping them on a bike or skateboarding on them and the librarian calls the wife 1/2
imtiffffany
to warn her that he's having stupid ideas like these. Hope that helps. 2/2
chardlz
Oh... I thought like handicapped ramps and was super confused hahaha thanks
desertclaw
Dumb guy here! Can someone explain the super clown button on a microwave?
ArdentSlacker
I'm not pressing it.
AMFMAN
It's the simple fact that the microwave even has that button, it's not actually a real button
slipperygspotnastypose
It's a poorly crafted joke
DobbyLivesHere
Felt like that was one of like... 3 in the whole thing that were weak. That's a tolerable amount of doo doo in my brownie.
Cucumberflant
It does exactly what it sounds like it does. Don't push it, please.
Morec
This is literally the best thing I've seen all day!
DOMEwithouttheE
That just entertained the shit out of me for like 6 train spots hilarious
buttcreambandit
Dude that's like ure second top comment in 30 minutes
Morec
People seem to like me. I have no idea why.
Amattawityou
Things are hung; men (and women) are hanged.
JudgeMentaI
OnlyBurtonGusterGifs
Scottish Twitter is still the best
CommieShillPaidBySoros
Which is technically also "White Twitter".
Ano1
It's the first time I see white twitter dump. And I don't like it.
ParakeetsAreDevilSpawn
A group of sharks is a "shiver"
SharkLove
They can also be called a herd, frenzy, gam, or school but shiver is my favorite because they send shivers down my spine. <3!
ParakeetsAreDevilSpawn
I'm just going to accept all that as true because of your username
ACslater88
Meh.
wtoddp
By the time I got to the Presidents, I had the same face as the Presidents
lostnortherner
WHO WANTS CREAMY CRUMPS
willselfdestruct
White twitter is shit
TheSketchMan
Fuckin lost it at Asspoopshits Massachusetts. Take it +1
TheHazelEyes93
I laughed so hard I cried.
forgodssakeijustwantausername
So glad it wasn't just me. I was crying laughing
freezepopsaregood
haha same
homemademashedpotatoes
I read the Assapoopshits about 12 hours ago at work and I've been laughing at it for 12 hours straight now.
Bendercrackedcorn
I laughed harder as I slowly got the joke.
pocketflan
I fight babies. I'm the best at fighting babies. Everyone agrees.
Kr3stain
Fucking lost it at watch this motherfuckers
Sturdycrotch
I totally heard Jerry Gurgich's voice as the customer in this one:
skippuskippu
I CANNOT UNHEAR THAT OH GOSH
chiefwill
White Twitter is disappointing....
PhilosophicalGinger
Eh, some of these are actually pretty clever, but I'd say that most of those that use this structure
are lame
PhilosophicalGinger
It's the overspecification of one character's role or status that sucks. "God's Assistant (who is a dick)" is too clumsy even for twitter
vistascan
I'll take bad jokes over the same gun, infidelity, and horny statements any day.
Misslnformation
It was good until the repeats. Worth a comment, no +1
Misslnformation
Ok +1
Misslnformation
*whispers* sike
Morec
This was a ride from start to finish...
fatchicksneedluvintoo
An enjoyable ride at that
Morec
Like a vibrating dildo.
evilgoodcheese
A post AND a repost? Welcome to the future.
FecesAllMighty
I'm pretty sure #7 isn't white, I think he's a boat
MayTheForceBeWithYou
I liked the part where it started over near the end
OmnibusLatinName
Like a 500 word essay from JH. Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very...
pykx
I thought I was losing it.
AlternatingRealities
Same shit, but blurrier!
InitHello
And smaller! It was awesome!
jshimoskie
Now with less pixels!
NaughtyCannibal
Are you talking about OP's post or his penis?
knuttsakjones
Twas really top notch old bean
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Do old beans cause diarrhea?
masterwanderer
Fantastic. So many new ones. Much laughter.
emcabo
Alpacas cost significantly more than $300, if anyone is wondering. My parents have three of them.
Itouchthefishy
It was a Llama anyways you dunce.
Treblaine
Right, closer to $350, thanks for the heads up.
QuazMasta
I see you, Loch Ness Monster.
DickDastardly404
My friend was saving up to buy a car, but he got drunk at a fate and bought a cow at a cattle auction for £500. His plan was to "sell 1/2
DickDastardly404
the meat for 10x that!" but once he sobered up he realised he didn't have the heart to kill it and chop it up, and no one would buy 1.5/2
DickDastardly404
poorly butchered mystery meat from a teenager anyway. The guy at the auction bought it back, but kept £50 for "fuckin me about" 2/2
lostnortherner
Do they all look like Taylor Lautner?
HeadlessNorseman
*spreads labia*
Hemispheres
I lost it at that one...
tektree
*hanged
DrowninginAnxiety
Ikr?! Two different jokes with that mistake.
OmnibusLatinName
IKR, why do we even have a past tense of hang (aka hung) if we're not allowed to use it :( [drownded in a tidal wave of grammar nazis]