Jampoinges
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Sep 2, 2025 7:26 PM
Jampoinges
20442
458
17
Qube8
...and yes, it seems you do have a petite bone.
redsmerf
As the Jewish girl I dated in college put it, "we secretly love it, we're just not allowed to have it"
She was ethnically Jewish but atheist, so... "just put it in my mouth"
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bourbonandbaddecisions
Such small petty fucking people.
JoshHortonSupposably
Yeah, like what’s next. Showing a shrimp cocktail to Jewish people? 😂
RandomQuack
Fuck the centrist lost Democrats who won't endorse this guy.
grandfalloon
Pretty sure Jews, Muslims, and Jules Winnfield avoid bacon for basically the same reason: a pig is a filthy animal. It's not a sacred animal, it's dirty, and back in the day, it was difficult to prepare safely. So when you show off your bacon-eating, it's basically a milder version of "Watch me eat this turd! Aren't you offended now?!"
Freeasabird2015
That's bacon? looks like a load of fat being fried. Also what a dick.
gHoStBuStEr3456
#1 uh dude failed to realize not only in Islam do they not eat pork 💀 dude needs a class in religion
TheSecondPiewackit
Fuckers are way overcooking their bacon.
homoerection
I’m one of those fuckers that likes bacon with a little char on it. Not every time, but if I’m having it with bloody Maria’s then I want stiff crispy bacon. 🥓
UncleMeaty
They can't eat bacon. They are allowed to look at it.
Hexidimentional
Imagine not understanding that they simply are choosing to listen to the stuff in leviticus that christians ignore.
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
Them hardcore meat eater types are weird. I eat meat but its not a fucking identity. I don't feel the urge to parade meat around if someone says they don't. Its also weird to me people who eat no vegetables. Whats holding you together? Sides are fire. I had a friend who worked in a steakhouse and said they would get those types who would make a big deal if she asked about wanting side salad/veg. Shes like ok I just work here just give me your order, I don't care if you die young dude.
CALAMOSCOPYJANE
That is usually a sign of extreme male fragility, if they identify like that.
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
Absolutely!
DonaldTrumpsFlaccidHairpiece
Can you imagine how these people would react if someone posted something very anti-Christian, and then was like "Hey, this is for all my Christian peeps this morning!" Oh yeah, they'd react by fucking calling for their head, sending them to jail, deporting them, etc. Such hypocrites.
AbsolutelyNotBacon
Classic move of doing something literally no one gives a shit about and then patting yourself on the back for "owning the libs". Masterful gambit.
RedCamaro
Fries bacon and nobody bats an eye. Draw Muhammad and everyone loses their minds.
TheLastBootyBender
*points to all of Christian history*
Do you really want to play that game?
ClutterMonkey
Some French journalists lost more than their minds.
crapybarra
We still are Charlie tho.
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TheLastBootyBender
Because arguing with someone who makes broad generalized statements is pointless. You've already made up your mind and won't be dissuaded
Sinasohn
and *a few extremists* lose their minds. FTFY
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crapybarra
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlNDNhbGFxdG9zNWE3eXYyZmxlbzN0Zno0aWtnNGFsdzl3ZTZ3cjF5eiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/8I3rfB8ji6yIdx1Zl4/giphy.mp4
FrozenMojo
I've had food from there before, not bad tbh.
RedCamaro
The Babaganoush is....to die for
kozzillakilla
If christian’s behaved the way the bible tells them, they wouldn’t be eating bacon either. Pig and shellfish were considered very unclean and not okay to eat. Probably because they will eat anything, including human bodies.
TiffanyKorta
I never knew shellfish were that deadly!
blunte
Also, pre refridgeration technology their likelyhood to grow pathogens made those far more likely vectors of food borne illness.
kaoticgirl
Pretty sure that part went away after Jesus did the whole 3- day weekend
Hashbrown123
I believe carrion eating birds are not banned though.
TheWhiteBarry
"Shrimps is bugs" - the bible, probably
JayEnfield
"Yeah but I don't like that part of the bible so here's why it doesn't count."
Elonth
The "canon" excuse is jesus died for their sins and and basically said they don't have to follow the laws of the old testiment as long as they believe in god/jesus. As he fufilled the "blood sacrifices". Now if you point out that it is a retcon aka changing of mind by their all knowing ifallable and good god. You watch as their gears fail to link together why god would change his mind if hes always right and cannot make a mistake.
JayEnfield
And also contradicted by Matthew 5:18.
It's just the worst possible book.
macdogjake24
What a dick, they aren't telling you not to eat bacon, they aren't eating bacon themselves so it's cheaper than it could be and they bought us turmeric, cinnamon, paprika and cayenne pepper.
youreathing
This. I'm pretty sure that there are bits of the old testament that have some crazy ass food rules as well.
myotherusernameismyotherusername
All of those rules are just health guidelines for desert living.
TanithRosenbaum
It's the same kind of turd who will deliberately put meat into a vegetarian person's food or peanuts into a dish for a person with peanut allergy, because they either can't understand others have other needs and think they're "faking it", or even worse they think others aren't allowed to have other preferences.
macdogjake24
My coworker who swapped my lactose free milk for full cream milk because he thinks lactose intolerance is a person that's desperate for attention.
He was stupid enough to tell someone else he did it.
vakler
Hopefully no longer a co-worker?
macdogjake24
No, I laying in my deathbed long retired.
🕊️
Yellowchopsticks
Besides, pork isn't forbidden because it's holy, but because it's considered unclean. It would be like trying to taunt someone by bragging about eating pieces of shit for breakfast.
drinkthederpentine
Yeah so avoiding pork as a reasonable health precaution is more than a hundred years out of date. Religion is cancer.
JorElmasterofscheduling
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1aWVldjQwY2E2YXdkNDdlaHdweGxlbHYwcjkyMXc5ZGczd3RhcHRoMCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/VRdv4A4GkeLMk/200w.webp
Smidge204
It's not even strictly forbidden; you're allowed to eat pork if it's all you have available. You're forgiven if the alternative is starving.
Isthe4thtimethecharm
I always think of a Muslim friend I used to have when pork is brought up. He told me one time that he accidentally had some pork, and it was so good. I told him that is why we eat that nasty animal. It is very delicious.
Shaodyn
They're basically saying "Mmm-mmm, this mud I'm about to eat sure is tasty!"
eathotdog
Pigs are only gross of they have to be, unlike halal animal slaughter which is always gross.
Shaodyn
No one is saying pigs are necessarily gross, only that Islam says they're not to be eaten.
NeoNeanderthal
Pigs can't sweat, so they need mud to regulate their own bodily temperature. Like most animals tbh. So in order to raise pigs in captivity you need to supply them with ample quantities of mud. That's not so easy in most regions traditionally inhabited by muslims. To make matters worse, the same places have developed a style of building that keeps interiors cool, but has very little airflow. Humidity+low air flow=MOLD.
ChiLLeCheeze
Sounds like you've never had a mud pie made by a little kid.
Shaodyn
Can't say I have. Which is an odd thing to miss, but here we are.
seafoamistasty
'Toxic Cowboy'? At least he's self-aware. Though I bet he's less of a cowboy and more of a drywaller, or fork lift operator. Maybe even a truck stop cashier.
theskepticinme
Probably just a troll
morningxafter
I guarantee his $60k truck with the 8 inch lift has never transported anything other than his kids to soccer practice, where he physically threatened the coach for not starting them at center even though they can’t run for shit and clearly don’t even want to be there.
TheSatanicFalcon
Oh please. Like he takes his kids anywhere. Thats mom work
thedarkcanuck
The amount of truckers out there who think they're cowboys is cringe af.
Clayman8
How dare you insult forklift operators...
TheLastBootyBender
All hat, no cattle.
scottyb652
No way does he have a fork lift licence
CurbYourClassWar
Some of the biggest pieces of shit I’ve met in my life were fork lift certified
thedtp
Right, the only thing “cowboy” about that dude is the hat, cuz he’s a fuckin’ poser. Probably has truck nuts too and doesn’t see the irony.
RestlessVagabond
I'm pretty sure that isn't even him in the picture. Looks like one of the characters from Yellowstone.
MostAwesomeDan
As a southerner, the phrase is "He's all that and no cattle"
macdogjake24
I like "all teeth no trousers" never been sure how to use it though.
MostAwesomeDan
yeah that one's a little more....odd lol
macdogjake24
I just asked my oldest sibling they say it's something they remember from our grandpa, he died in 81 at 88 years old so it could be from the 1920's.
She says it is a swish dude that comes off as a competent guy but isn't a hard worker.
Used for someone that rises in a company by sucking up to the boss.