PrincessPatrick
125953
2714
137
Jan 19, 2017 7:15 PM
PrincessPatrick
125953
2714
137
ollieholman
You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?
neversawitcoming
I love globes too, and cans, and racks, and melons Chelsea. Pompous Brits not at all.
sailorfreddy
Who let Richmond out of the closet?
FlyingDeetus
And she just got schooled in America
FunAlternativeFact
Underrated comment.
FlyingDeetus
Your appreciation is all I need <3
theashman69
My 2 favourite comedians.
AlwaysBeenWeird
I don't think Chelsea Handler is a good indicator of the intelligence of the US. Then again, the inauguration is tomorrow, so who knows
zOriginal
That guy on the left has a mighty boosh. Guy on the right looks like a colon explorer.
fitlex
A geography teacher and his ugly wife
fantaboobs
Source?
JoshiStPierre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6S3XibYYjQ
LeglessInGlasgow
I'm gonna creep inside ya like a warm kitten!
Applepotamus
well
AynusDestroyer
What show is this
BurnerAccountYo
Looks like Chelsea Lately on E! She has a different show on Netflix or Amazon or the like
Thismuchistrue
dopamine14
Mighty Boosh ftw!
ItsMyUsernameTho
And she was schooled just then...
VicenteRojas
SeraRelm
Now you'll get schooled in front of all your homies. *slaps*
VladimirPutitin
Absolutely barbaric
SinCalzones
I kind of liked her "Chelsea does" show, but her current show sucks and she's terrible.
TheVoicesInYourHead
She should have whipped out those overused tits of hers to distract them from her stupidity...that is what she uses them for...right?
AlphaTwin1
You wanna go to a club where people Wee on eachother?
citaria
Found the President-Elect
AlphaTwin1
Damn. You got me.
BopbopPerono
Man she sucks. Shock humor and foul mouthed without one important ingredient: jokes.
humptyblargh
I can't stand her for that, and also because she looks almost exactly like my 2nd ex-wife.
EndlessMouthDiarrea
Skinny Amy Schumer
Canofminus
She embodies your girlfriend's bitchy friend that your GF is always trying to setup with your friends because "she's so funny." When you 1/?
Canofminus
finally cave in the night implodes when she gets too tipsy, makes fun of your friends and gets really fucking mean about it and then you 2/?
Canofminus
find yourself defending your friends because your GF thought they were being too sensitive and they aren't good enough for the girl who 3/?
Canofminus
went out of her way to make fun of guy with the slight stutter 4/4
AngelSnipe
Are you talking about me? Have we met before?
GnomeAnn
That's quite specific.
furiouspanda96
W-w-who hurt you,Canofminus?
Frady
I feel like a dumbass American, I had to look up the difference between the UK, Britain, and England... There is none.
missastromccluskey
Uh oh ....
citaria
Yes there is....
Frady
I get that UK is the whole island but is there any difference between England and Britain? Please help.
MrSquirrely
UK is a Union of 4 "Kinddoms", Great Britain is the island were 3 are located, and England is one of the "Kingdoms"
MrSquirrely
PS, I'm not that bad a spelling, I have a shitty keyboard and I swear I changed my mistakes... guess I didn't...
MrSquirrely
If you want to know they are England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. (Also, I am an American. No all of us are idiots.)
Frady
I knew the four, I just didn't realize Great Britain was the three. Thanks man!
MaconDaBacon
I'm Old Gregg!
Flustercuck
You've seen my downstairs mixup!
Khaleesi0505
You ever drank baileys from a shoe?
churlee
It's attached to your rod, motherlicker!
pnero000
Do you love me? Could you learn to love me?
Ryebread91
Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me...
MandalorianMerc13
L...Love Games?
Hyakurin9
Make an assessment
OriginalAndWitty
W92Baj
This comes out a lot but I really don't think it means what you think it means. Which part is the sound of freedom? The failed healthcare...
W92Baj
system backrupting people for getting ill? The lack of fair competition or protection for consumers? The overpriced and slow internet?...
W92Baj
The over-reaching spying by your government on its own citizens? Keep taking the Kool Aid, dude, the brainwashing is working
CPatricoo
Of course the English know world history. They warred with most of it.
railgap
And used to "own" half of it...
analharvester
The word you're looking for is conquered
StonedInWonderland
And America of course didn't ..?
DefinetlyNotObsessed
America's few expansions were the Caribbean and a little in east Asia
shaggykx
Nope. We owned america.
CPatricoo
You need to catch up on your history. The war ratio compared to England is hysterical
StonedInWonderland
Im not talking about ratio's or who's had more. Just simply that America had its fair share. Im actually taking a US historyofpolitics class
CPatricoo
Historically speaking, our wars are sparse, although in many different places. It can seem like a lot, but really its maybe 10 to 15 wars
W92Baj
The difference is we won most of ours instead of clod-footing it about looking for oil and ending in unmitigated disaster
CPatricoo
Oh ho ho sorry. Good to know you guys didnt join us in Iraq. Oh whoops. Sorry its hard when an opponent is stronger than Argentina now.
craigyk1989
Because we owned most of it.
fatslayer7
"Owned"
Rekorc
And now America as a orange Oompa Loompa as their leader.
AxelYamanaka
And then most of it owned you.
TheRelevancyOfMyNameIsRelativelyIrrelevant
by 'owned' he means showed up one day and slaughtered most of the inhabitants, and enslaved the rest. Just empire things
[deleted]
[deleted]
finnthepokeman
I want to be mad at that comment but you're spot on
Gawky
well they can take vacation in the British overseas, still got some carabbean islands and Gibraltar
thjoth
My English friend just goes and irons all his shirts when he's mad. We call it rage ironing.
animalrv
Americans learn through war. Remember the contra war, America? That's where you used paramilitary support to disrupt Nicaragua politically.
HelloMax
And now Russia is doing it to us
ThySausagePrince
But I thought that was next to Iran? #sarcasm
animalrv
Oooh! Fun game would be to name all the countries the US has attacked or undermined with guns without UN support!
LosPer
Yeah, because all we needed was another Soviet Client State in our hemisphere...please.
MidiArbite
One good coup deserves another.
Jupman
Not to mention sell the coke in inner cites to blacks and hippies as Nixon put it.
wellju
Americans make a lot of war, I agree, but they don't ever learn from it apparently.
CORGI316
I almost forgot! Thanks for reminding me :)
ratfinkfuck
ah yes one of the first instances of US troops controversially pressing up up down down left right left right b a start
animalrv
This... was honestly all I could think about even as I was being interrogated in Nicaragua by a base commander for wandering too close...
jdavis1186
Those 30 men fought to the very end
todd4a2211
It's where Nicaraguan pot comes from
UrKungFuNoGood
Do you remember the Sandanistas that the Contras were fighting. I have friends who were Contras. Take your rose glasses and shove em.
madetheaccountjustforyou
Your friends were part of a terrorist group that committed many war crimes.
LosPer
And the Sandinistas were Stalinist murderers bent on turning the country into a Soviet Client State.
UrKungFuNoGood
yup. but OP was speaking as if the Sandanista regime were victims. Why don't you try growing up someplace like that then speak.
Belckan
None of that makes it right though.
UrKungFuNoGood
What did you do to liberate your country from a sadistic dictator Belckan? Maybe you should reveal your secret ways to the rest of the world
madetheaccountjustforyou
Let's ask some Taliban or ISIS guys how they feel about it.
railgap
You don't ask someone who commits atrocities about their feelings, you snuff them.
AskMeIfImFunAtParties
I have to be honest, I had no idea where Afghanistan was until I landed in Kandahar.
jdavis1186
The English remember it as the Probotector War.
jdavis1186
I'm glad at least one person got this joke
adamrac
Maybe so do the Brits, they have just invaded more areas of the world than we have.
TheTransDimensionalCouncilOfRicks
Not correct. See links bellow, or above. Or don't. I'm not your supervisor.
greenmenfrommars
Your own links do say roughly 178 for Great Britain and < 100 for the US.
adamrac
Well I clicked both links and I was wondering what you're talking about too. Thanks for the info, that was neat. Even if it proved you wrong
TheTransDimensionalCouncilOfRicks
Literally laughed out loud. I didn't actually think anyone would click the links. I was just being an ass :)
Burnwhilereading
Kinda sad that we don't expect people to want to expand their knowledge base on the internet. This is interesting though.
Burnwhilereading
They've kinda been around longer
adamrac
Yea, give us time, we seem to be well on our way to poking our nose into all parts of the world.
GandalfsLawyer
We are coming for you Madagascar!
DinoKebab
Madagascar is untouchable!!!
Thehonesttwooth
* Madagascar has closed its port. *
MYNAMEISINDIGOMONTOYAYOUKILLEDMYFATHERPREPARETODIE
NOT THE LEMURS! *dawn of the planet of the lemurs*
NZSheeps
And they have more flags.