MyDickCurlsLikeAPugsTail
126187
2885
106
Mar 7, 2019 8:52 AM
MyDickCurlsLikeAPugsTail
126187
2885
106
dietderpsy
What's Matt Damon doing in the army, is he lost?
Fanible
Full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-VJERTwTJc
TheyHunger
I like the smiles on the instructors' faces when they see him light up with full-auto joy. :D
maximumbob54
I was taught to pull the trigger as long as you could quickly scream DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE.
IMightBeIntoSomeWeirdStuff
So nobody else is concerned about the username
stonebreaker6
Ma Deuce FTMFW
18Bravo
That's exactly how my teammate and I won the MG Shoot at the MAC VII Competition back in '09(?) Two rounds each. No single shots allowed.
thebeacon
username checks out.
18Bravo
Has it come to that?
ShamefulDisplay
cowabunga it is
Damienlikesdinos
$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5,$5
supraman2turbo
The gun is so old it gets senior discount ammo
drksilenc
$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,$4.95,
supraman2turbo
Damn right that nickel adds up sonny
jesusisherelookbusy
AmazonBoxMonster
congressionalbitch
I haven’t seen this one before. This is mine now
idpassr
#LaughsInMG3
RisingPhoenix92
@justanotherlinkinthechain my fallback plan is looking more enjoyable
JustAnotherLinkInTheChain
Endless lead death from afar
DoughSlayer
Is.. is that Matt Damon?
TheActualMalloryArcher
My thoughts exactly!
DukeofKMS
If that was a German MG, the two short bursts he gave, would have been 100 rounds.
DontTouchMyButtToGetMyAttention
That username concerns me.
shortyjjp
you afraid of it touching your butt?
DontTouchMyButtToGetMyAttention
Yes.
ACADEMIAexe
“Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein” (On the heath, there blooms a little flower)
IrishWhiskey
Und das heißt: Eeeeeerika!
Mediumtim2
Always upvote Erika ... sometimes cry a little at the end.
StrayBullet
Whoooo. Okay, so German not Nazi. I reposted this on my IG and was worried it might give the wrong impression.
WhyShouldILoveYou
There's nothing wrong about liking songs from that era.. Erika is no different from Lili Marleen.
Kerberos623
Well the song was made in the 1930's. but it was a fave of the ww2 german army.
StrayBullet
Well I deleted it from my IG. Don’t want people getting the wrong idea. Thanks for the heads up.
ACADEMIAexe
You reposted OPs gif on IG or..?
Kerberos623
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erika_(song) . Song is innocent enough. but composer was part of nazi propaganda machine.
LoboRugger3
Your people invented the best machine gun ever, letter rip!
MinxyJinx
The gun in this gif is a Browning M2. Original designed by an American John Browning in WWI.
LoboRugger3
Yes, we did invent it. Machine Gun for Power!
HunterCop
As a german: What do you mean, YOU people? Also as a german: Thank you!
MinxyJinx
Thats an M2 and its American.
MacEifer
Important point. We wouldn't want to be associated with that pile of mediocrity, so please keep pointing that out.
Superstzday
Exactly, AKA NOT the best machine gun ever.
kaloonzu
Firing a machine gun in bursts is what you're supposed to do if it is passively cooled though. Also, the M2 long predates the MG42.
TNFbeta
I was trained on that gun and we allways shot in bursts.
Seras91
well seems like the german soldiers are trained for shorter bursts then us soldiers
AllHailLordDampnut
Bullets are cheap, time is money. Hold the button down and let freedom sing!
Seras91
well then after 6 seconds you´re belt would be empty ^^ then you need time to reload and after 1 or 2 belts this fast to switch the barel
KronaSamu
I'm guessing that he is just used to the burst length of a normal weapon,
Seras91
MG3 Burst length more or less double the ROF
Acatno
I was like, wait, that's not an MG42 and then they phased it over. XD
deoxyriboneucleicasshole
Came here for the same reason
Asteroidrules
Germans do actually still use the MG42, as does most of the former Yugoslavia. But yeah that's a Ma Deuce, or as the Germans call it MG50.
TNFbeta
Yeah, in Switzerland we also still use it..
AntiProtoss
Two questions for our arms and armaments peeps:(1) the MG42 (or similar) wasn’t the bullet reloading slowing down, it was the barrel change?
AntiProtoss
(2) Could the BAR really shoot through tanks plating and most walls/cover? I’m not talking the .50 cal machine gun.
WhythehelldidImakethisaccount
He is German, so probably use to hearing the rounds come not go
IamTOOOLDforThisShite
*used to
WhythehelldidImakethisaccount
Thx
KarlderMarder
If you hear the rounds come in, that means your enemy is bad at shooting
WhythehelldidImakethisaccount
Or it’s suppressive fire while your squad is being flanked
GandalfCalrissian
Horrible shoulder pressure. Those rounds are not hitting a tight group
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what you want with a machine gun. You want a nice sized cone of "Put Your Fucking Head Down."
stealthgunner385
Friendly fire - isn't; automatic weapons - aren't; suppressive fire - won't.
PogoMarimo
A bullet that misses by 20 feet isn't going to surpress its target very well.
AllHailLordDampnut
a 50 cal will completely fuck up anything it hits. these things tear through walls and metal like they are nothing. 20 feet is close as fuck
AllHailLordDampnut
Especially when you're putting 3-4 rounds into the area per second, no one in that cone is going to be doing much of anything.
NotWelcomehere
When you're being shot at with enough metal to fill a concert venue, you don't exactly have time to go "ok that one was a little wide"!
PogoMarimo
Why accomplish in 10 bullets with poor technique what you can accomplish in 3 bullets with proper technique? It's simple logistics.
NotWelcomehere
Time, training, good old-fashioned-fun?
ootsker
Ma deuce
agermanguy
Look how happy it makes him!
Hybris51129
Full auto guns these days are concentrated albeit expensive fun.
3RsReadingRitingRithmatic
It sucks! Bottom of the barrel full auto is like a mac 10 or a reising 50 starting at 6k and up. Such a bummer.
Carrickin
@agermanguy, is that a current or, how shall I say, “former” German army song? Or just German folk song you’d drink beer too? Just curious.
agermanguy
I only know it as a military song to march to. It was also used by the nazis . But the text is pretty harmless.
Carrickin
Danke!
JohnnyLawlessEsq
*sees username, looks up, sees flecktarn* Hey, wait a fuckin’ minute...
KamSolastor
I’ve never seen someone firing the MaDeuce without a smile on their face
XequR
Because often we are not allowed to use full-auto we are trained more for controlled shooting/short bursts with the MG3.
BigBoyJones
The Amerimutt doesn't know.
agermanguy
I Know
ButtMunchersUnite
Look at this Christoper Walkin Encyclopedia wooow.
agermanguy
As a German like my username implies, I was in the German army for quite some time so naturally yes I know this.
ButtMunchersUnite
I love you, glad you’re alive n well.
IrgendSoEinTyp
Ammo is expensive man you think every soldier can be sufficiently trained in using a gun? That's crazytalk!
ALegendaryHero
The browning is a fun gun to use. Hell,it's fun to be near when it is fired.
DukeofKMS
He is German, he has difficulties recognizing an M2 as a machine gun, cuz it reloads slower than his granddad reloaded his 98K
SirLucifer616
https://youtu.be/7MdrspBXygg Reminded me of this.
BadLuck2277
they called him the fastest finger in the wild wild ... ehm France for a reason xD
DukeofKMS
Little did they know about Parkinson at that time.
thatothergreengentleman
Shots fired
GadenKerensky
It reloads slower but it'll fuck up anything without sufficient armour. Including some APCs.
FIrecharge44371
A brick wall turns into just concealment
tomyironmane
Engine blocks count as light cover.
S4mw1se
What about some teenagers in a landing craft?
Tikityler
Yeah if they had M2's it would have gone right through the steel ramp. https://forums.g503.com/viewtopic.php?t=93491
GadenKerensky
Considering it was the landing craft armed with them...
grendelb
A German has MG42 running in their blood.
MacRockatansky
He's lucky the Allied M2s left him a granddad.
DukeofKMS
Nah, we learn history in school, not from TV. So we know we have to thank the Russians for not being as rude as we.
ALT3NPFL3G3R
Buuuuuuurn
mokzin
From what I heard the Russians were pretty damn bad. Though it may have just been propaganda.
DukeofKMS
They were harsh. They raped and even killed. But by far not as much as we did.
MacRockatansky
Sounds like you learned history from Reddit. You gonna hit me with that old shocker "Easter was a pagan holiday" next?
DukeofKMS
I learned history at University. A German University.
iancarry
russians were savages :-/
Nuttsy
They were pissed.
DukeofKMS
Still, they murdered only 1/7 of the people we killed in Russia. That might be the cause for them being rude.
iancarry
absolutely .. they were most barbaric in countries that colaborated with germany.. seeking for revenge :-/
haaska
The quantity of forcey funtimes the Russians had in easter Germany during the end of ww2 could make it possible his granddad is Russian
DukeofKMS
At least they did not kill of 20mio of us, like we did. Gotta Hand then that.
MacRockatansky
Awe'd they hit a soft spot? Maybe your real granddad was Russian too. Might wanna hit 23 And Me. Or maybe not...
tyrsfavoritesword
But they did... seriously.
Boatsntoes
Are you talking about strapping another belt or about the rate of fire? Because those 50 cal pills will fuck up a theropod. ..
DukeofKMS
What I meant was „cycle“ it cycles so slow.
tomyironmane
It consumes ammo at about 150lb/min at full cyclic already.
DukeofKMS
I see. I wonder in what units they are used. It is not like every platoon has to carry such a beast around, du they
tomyironmane
Weapons company in a Marine Infantry battallion has a platoon of them. They can mount 'em on trucks too. They got assisted feed versions...
DukeofKMS
Our 35mm cycle faster
Nuttsy
Try mounting a 35mm on a light truck without making the whole thing fly, though.
tomyironmane
Sure, now you and three friends carry that bitch and her ammo into battle.
MacRockatansky
Yeah, but can you get rounds for it in that entirely symbolic military of yours? I hear the shortages are really bad.
DukeofKMS
Give it time. :) EU army will be a thing. And our BW at the Heart of it.
swedeonamoose
that would be over the swedish govs cold dead bodies, they would fight tooth and nail to keep it from ever happening, sadly.
MacRockatansky
Yeah, I know the German dream of world domination never dies. You just can't help yourself.
TheyreGoodDogsBront
That, and it operates differently from his standard issue broom
WaltherWater
I understand that reference
Delyruin
The broom was in maintenance that day
patta8388
They also teach em to fire very short salvos in the Bundeswehr
RuthlessRuben
In the German army, that is for efficency reasons. In the Austrian army, it's because we spent all the money on officers' pensions.
Asteroidrules
In Germany it's also because they have allocated their budget very tightly.
reineseele
The average for a kill was like 1000 bullets. (I guess someone mashed all bullet numbers together)
patta8388
There were times when we didn't have any ammunition to train because it all went to the 'stan and Flinten Uschi knows where
Ilikeitwhenyoucallmebigpapa
That looks like fun.
Doodledad73
It is
thedarkcanuck
Tis
TheDornSupremacy
3654798521
Wonder if the # of bullets used in this gif could pay off my tuition...?
MacroLilly4110
it is until you realize you have to carry the extra barrel with you,n youre waken up at 4am bcuz your the only one that knows how to time it
lildude52ca
my thought process is this : likely makes you a prime target. life expectancy,... 4 seconds.
dootdootiamgroot
not worth a week of retraining g then getting up at 4 am and putting on everything you own to stand there for 6 hours till it's your turn
roach91
It’s more fun when it’s mounted on a tank
Dots77
Wait till you have to strip and clean the fucker, then tell me how fun it is.
USERNAME2010
Fun time to bull shit
thislooksfun
Agreed.
MagicMuffin
It is, almost as fun as the hand grenade part of BCT.
Saajix
I too would 3 burst it to make the fun last longer
USERNAME2010
Get more ammo and change barrels
dghammer
Yeesh
Logwarrior999
It's a blast. So are MK-19s and AT4s.
ArmyStrings
It is
mackloti
it is. until you have someone shooting back at you
NewPhoneWhoDissss
Ehh at least you don’t have to clean the brass when you’re forward.
USERNAME2010
And yet, still fun. Some of the best laughs I’ve ever had have been getting shot at
Ambeam
Less fun when you aim at people. But yeah pretty fun
IamTheBestAtDonutEating
Seems like it would even be less fun when youre the one being aimed at
altpants89
The range a few miles down the road from me lets you rent one of these. Or a minigun. It's expensive as hell, but awesome.
swimbikerunrepeatswimbikerunrepeatswimbiwhatwasidoing
Tenessee?
altpants89
Oklahoma.
USERNAME2010
You really stop caring about people when they start shooting at you.
IamTheBestAtDonutEating
During ww2 allies had problems killing other ppl or hesitated. So now they make them run firing drills to normalize lethal behavior
USERNAME2010
It’s more shooting at silhouettes and repetition. People still hesitate “on killing” is a great book if you want more information on it.
zrXO
dude that is woah. Never though about that before
MrSaturday
Bingo.
Ambeam
Not true. Ask any soldier whos killed someone
RexZE
It depends who is more affected by the mind-numbing training. In WWI and specifically WWII, most soldiers hesitates to shoot enemies and 1/?
RexZE
Often closed their eyes before firing. When this statistic was noted by the US in particular, they started training soldiers to be "psychos"
USERNAME2010
Hi...
ProfessorExpert
Dude in the army told me how he turned a guy into jello with grenade launcher (I think) during a fight... he didn’t give a fuck
dancinginthecar
I love how men communicate sometimes
giraffinator
I had a Vietnamese man point at a target as he handed me an AK47. Worked out well in the end
NotWelcomehere
I do too, and I'm a guy. Sometimes we could do with a bit more subtlety and nuance, but fuck, "it's a machine gun" is straight to the point!
myweaknessisstrong
gunfire is the universal language.
Ghlain
That's a M2 Browning .50 cal.
Sleepy360
Ma Duece! M2A2HB (Heavy Barrel).
ToasterDent
Looks more like an M2 12.7mm
CrypticRuin
I got to clean up the mess of a guy who took one of these point blank to the chest. Clear your weapons people.
evilcarp
Aftermath of a M113 that wandered onto a .50 range at night was my very first assignment as a photographer in the US Army. 1/2
evilcarp
2/2 The rounds went in and bounced around. Didn't want to be a photographer anymore.
DukePhelan
Was he okay?
CrypticRuin
No
congressionalbitch
CantankerousCantaloupe
50 cal to the chest. Fine.
Sleepy360
Shhh Honey. It's OK. He's fine.
IPoopOnCompanyTime
I had to clean up a guy who took a bunch to the everywhere. Could've used a muck shovel
CotterPyke
I think i almost really want to know what story...
IPoopOnCompanyTime
Probably came off mission, skipped clearing area, went to remove barrel, got blasted
CrypticRuin
On an abrahms tank the 2 mg's on top are stored in the turret at night. Lt didnt clear the m2. Loader forgot to clear it before moving it./1
CrypticRuin
As he lowered it into the turret it depressed the butterfly trigger. Training exercise on live fire range, Grafenwöhr, Germany, winter 1996
IPoopOnCompanyTime
I'm sorry to hear that happen as it was entirely preventable. Secondly, who trusted the LT with that?
CrypticRuin
Lt was court martialed and resigned commission. Both were equally at fault. You touch a weapon, first thing you do is clear it
grandpasonlylivingheir
How do you aim that?
youngmountaingoat
I imagine that you just expect to decimate anything that might count as being in front of your position.
DieEaglesDie
This isn't a precision weapon you really aim with. It brings down cover and if you hit someone, that's a bonus.
SithShodan
You lead the broken earth into whoever is unlucky enough to be on the business end lul
LeviathanOmega
Point it in a general direction. Fuck that general direction.
pareidoliaperson
Fuck aim.
priestfoxley
gah...you lean backwards, letting your arms stretch out, and that puts your head in line with the sights. Sorry everyone gave you snark.
DinosaursRrad
Tracers most likely?
KingOfTheMouthBreathers
With optics or irons...or most commonly, by tracer and impact of rounds.
MrRobSteel
..the brief screams of your enemies.
cogs
You don’t aim so much as point in the general direction of that which you want to fuck up.
grandpasonlylivingheir
Thought that might be the case.
wurstkaesescenario
use the tracer like a waterhose
JamProusersname
Spray and Pray.
JohnnyLawlessEsq
As long as your attitude is “Fuck Everything in That General Direction,” aiming isn’t really a big deal with that thing.
cuntsicle
Accuracy by volume.
SaltyMaintainer
You use the tracers and the impact points to “walk” your rounds onto target.
Chinavirus
Down range!
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
.50 cal. Because, fuck you, fuck your cover, and fuck anyone behind you.
Vicex
Wow. So original.
AntiProtoss
You also forgot the burglar In front of the fridge robbing your neighbors’ house.
spectheintro
"fuck anyone behind you" -- for at least half a mile. These things are absurd.
metalfoto
"THE SOUND OF PEACE"
wouter5661
What about the 458 winchester magnum m1 garand
VinerialBlumpkin11
Fuck your cover? Just a few feet of dirt will stop it.
wadatahmydamie
When some random donor sent us two Barretts, I was so confused because almost all of the work we do is with cultural nonprofits.
Ginocide
I'll take 'em.
wadatahmydamie
Why, hunting a building?
Ginocide
I will say whatever answer gets me closer to having them.
KamSolastor
Ditto
BigMoFace
Lol, they should stamp this on the shipping crates for all .50 cal’s
IMayNotReplyToYou
20mm does nore damage, especially black tip
Isaymeanthings
I mean a 40mm shell does more too whats your fucking point.
IMayNotReplyToYou
Nob
RomanLegionary
But a 20mm HMG has remained elusive
IMayNotReplyToYou
Because its monstrously powerful
ifyourfriendsdntdanceandiftheydntdancethentheyrenofriendsofmine
Because they're cannons for bigger targets.The Oerlikon is only 7 years younger than the M2.
RomanLegionary
Indeed. But the Oerlikon is not actually 7 years younger than the M2; only the best iteration of it. There were Oerlikon 20mms in the ‘20s
RonnieKielbasa
I like the Mk 19 because fuck yo house
ManannanMacLir
Thook thook thook
tcsv23
Fuck you, fuck your house, fuck your neighbor, fuck the whole city block if I say so.
Drapetomanius
Goddamn I miss my baby; Uncle Sugar took her away when I left. Fucker.
DiscipleN2k
Never got to fire one, just heard it at the range. Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump......BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!!!!! :)
RonnieKielbasa
The impact area on the base I was at is also used for A-10s. We would ceasefire while they did a couple runs. Brrrrrrrt
MarineVeteran
thats so much fun to shoot.
MrSaturday
Ours were complete shit, never ran right.
IPoopOnCompanyTime
Should've slapped your armorer
Logwarrior999
As a previous 92Y, I agree.
RonnieKielbasa
That's a risky maneuver when it's time to turn in your weapon. "What the fuck do you mean it's still dirty?? Fuck!"
MrSaturday
Fuck no, be friends with armory, HE, and cooks. Life is good with the trinity.
MrChurch
Yeah, if they actually fire and don't jam after the first round.
LtLawlington
I've been told they jam a lot
RonnieKielbasa
Ours did not like training rounds for some reason, but rarely jammed with live rounds
tcsv23
Thumpthump... goddammit.........thumpthumpthump.....MOTHERFUCKER................thump.....FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
idropbombs
It's because the training rounds require a different headspace, but no one wants to do it. Source: USMC Grunt
Imabigdealinjapan
People dont know about that headspace and timing life no more.