Oct 2, 2015 3:23 PM
6169
2444
747
Nu773r
Bumblebee?
NotReallyJustKiddingIfOffendingAndNotACompliment
"Need any help? Yes? Good luck then."
ayebrows
Wow, the comments here are all douchey. What the fuck, Imgur?
pancreas
imgur likes to think anybody with nice things is a douche. And also that everyone who's ugly has a heart of gold.
Youstaygold
Guy Fiere isn't so bad after all I guess.
ohthatscool
after multiple mechanics and car lovers constantly jumping my car.. it took an 85 year old man to tell me my battery connector was loose..
Beefkins
I keep an emergency kit with jumper cables in my car. Nothing more unexepcted than getting help from an asshole in a sports car.
VagisilToothpaste
Their lame excuses = they don't know how to jump or are just scared of strangers. Niceguy Douchebag ftw.
MachineGunEtiquette
Moral of the story? Don't break down in the Walmart parking lot.
aki5
Plus points if he parked properly.
DeenaFisser2
I feel like you need upvotes
Resurrectionist
Guy Fieri feels he needs to keep his image up. Don't be fooled.
iStealTheTopCommentFromReddit
Everybody hates white trash until their car breaks down.
colourblindchameleon
I literally only saw this last year! Fast repost.
stephasaurus
I'm sure I saw this a week ago?
Zulu2
Repost. Ass.
iamireland
Some good books just have douchey covers.
twiggly
Stealing from another imgurian?
Imhungreh
Hmm repost
relvis
i recently went to texas, and on the plane trip over, i sat next to an old couple, i thought she was going to judge me for my tatts and
BeeExpert
So you meta-judged her. Yeah, thats right, I just made up a word. Deal with it.
stretched ears, she looks at me draw, and tells me that im a phenominal artist, we talked a storm and she loved tattoos and graffiti
moral of the story, dont count on someone to judge you, fuck you;re upvotes, this story reminded me of that particular situation
chansuke
If she was a native Texan she probably had a few of her own.
AngryHumanoid
Fuck my upvotes? FUCK MY UPVOTES?! I tried and they said they just wanted to be friends...
Frodoniku
sounds like you were being judgemental yourself assuming someone old wouldn't appreciate tats.
doorfer
I +1'd this only. Don't count on someone to judge you is an excellent idea.
baconbeerandbooks
Had to get a jump at the gas station this morning...the guy who worked there locked the door to help me out. :)
Likeaglove
(1/2) By chance are you a female with big boobs and a low cut top? Dam didn't think so, well then this is the only answer:
(2/2) http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyaelijUvN1qf95oto1_r1_500.jpg
swatchtime
I can read this at least one more time before i downvote it.
Coleslaw1549
Eat shit OP.
AlmostHonestAbe
That'll teach you not to judge a douche by his small penis.
stargaming
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States
Woofbloodywoof
You saw that too huh?
CaptainCunnilingus
so now cool cars and large vehicles mean you have small vehicles? aswell as yellow spiked hair? quit hating ffs imgur
2arqu0n
As a guy with a average+ penis, I'd buy a 67-68 Mustang gt 500 Fastback in a heartbeat.
inboxmeyourmalteseandmaltipoos
Ah yes, I have a mustang and I indeed have a small penis...someone love me :(
u just mad you can't afford a mustang
IAmCaptainObvious
Wouldn't this "douce" that you are referring to not be a douche but a good person?
FullThrottle
I gave someone a jump start recently, they were a bit confused when I reversed up as the battery is in my boot!
stedlieye
I've recently given a jump in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and I provided the cables. It's just a decent thing to do.
HatsAreEssential
It's decent, but "dangerous". People like to try to beg for money when they can't get their car to work...
I don't mind a beggar so much, it's the "takers" I worry about. But, I grew up with a lot of unreliable cars, so I sympathize.
For the record, I don't look backstreet boy, or have a fancy Mustang. I have a jank Impala, and I'm kinda scruffy.
statuscatmaticus
Scruffy, you say?
I was recently complimented on my "just for men" beard, but alas, I can't grow an amazing mustache like the janitor.
SaintSchwerin
If someone had asked me, I would have said yes. I even have cables. I just don't know how to jump start a car.
[deleted]
naktastic
I had a cop jump my car once and he did it wrong. I kept refusing to start it and tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen. :(
ballisticburrito
Helped a woman at walmart once. Was weird..she had to hold the hood up and I had to crawl around in her nastyass car to start it. :(
ILogInToUpvote
I bought cables specifically to help people. Sadly ended up needing them myself more often than needing them to help others, but still!
Ipurrforpets
But good on you! For always being ready to help someone :)
NumNumKitty
At first glance I thought your username was "Wigglytuff"
ProfessorCastle
You don't know how to use them because you bought them to beat the shit out of your son huh?
Ha! This reminds me of that one time I tried helping this lady change her flat tire. I had no idea how to change a tire. I still dont blah!
CowonS9
Same here, I have cables in my car's trunk...about 85% sure on how to jump someone else's car..but pretty sure i'll rvrs polarities or smth
TitsUnamerican
I think I have had that exact dialogue before...jumper cables were still in the box.
WolfBoy0612
red clamp on the red posts, black on the black posts or car frame. make sure the car with the good battery is running.
FancyFrance
Red (+) on dead car to red on car 2, then black (-) on dead car to black on car 2. If you cross wires, you'll blow your battery fuse.
LivinginLuling
You can google it on the spot. Also its super easy. Done it tons of times.
TheSonOfMyUnclesNephew
because people only break down in areas with cell coverage?
MaverickEsq
A spark will most def fuck your trip computer.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-jump-start-a-car.html
beelzebro
Kronoak
this may be a 3 year old post, but i was going to teach him how to jump a car, glad someone else did it though
CompletelyStewart
Red is positive, black is negative, and a car battery usually either has the positive post labeled or there will be a red cable going to it.
Do that to both cars, start the working car, let it run about a minute or two, then start your car and run it for at least five minutes.
Good way to check if it's the battery or alternator that needs replacing, once you have the car running, remove the jumper cables and then
remove the positive battery cable. If the car keeps running, you just need a new battery. If it dies, you need an alternator.
Dammit. I forgot an important step. *ATTACH JUMPER CABLES* to corresponding battery posts on both cars, then proceed to starting dead car.
KillingMeDjently
Be sure to tap the leads together to make sure there's enough amps.
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
+1 for making me laugh, human responsibility be damned!
Nothing quite like giving advice that can get someone killed~
I was being facetious, but oddly enough I've seen a few manuals that tell you to do this... If you're not grounded you should be fine.
nation543
neighbor knocked at 5:30 AM for a jump. threw on my coat, grabbed cables and helped in 15ºF
JJJJ4
I had a neighbor knock on my door one night and needed me to take him to the hospital after slicing his arm open. I didn't even hesitate.
frypiggy
15ºF? Here we get average daytime highs of -25ºF in winter; which lasts for months... but that's nothing compared to Verkhoyansk, Russia!
true but this was october... it averages 0 or below sometimes, now :\
drfsupercenter
Positive to positive, negative to negative is all you really need to know :)
Studoku
Don't cross the streams.
nzey
This is incorrect. Unless you are trying to blow up your battery. Then go for it. Positive to positive, negative to metal on your frame.
bentwrenches
As a Mechanic, I have taken a good battery,turned it upside down, and touched terminals +to+,-to-.It works but, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
LadyNetrex
NO, this has worked for me for many years, no problems. Both on old and new cars, old on old, new on new, old on new and new on old. Easy
Wait, what? Connecting the positive of one battery to the negative of another will make the battery explode, not vice versa
CaseyCase
YES! Everyone's like "dude thats not right" then im all "ok retard, go blow up your battery if you want but I won't help you blow it up."
That is, negative of good battery to frame of car with bad battery.
spayrroe
Positive to positive, negative to ground (which is any metal). Best lesson I ever learned from Phineas and Ferb :)
weirdcalculator
In principle, this is correct, but it's usually impractical. I've never had a problem from jumping battery to battery.
I've also never seen a car with an unpainted section of frame. Some have a terminal just for jumping, but best bet is usually engine block.
Nu773r
Bumblebee?
NotReallyJustKiddingIfOffendingAndNotACompliment
"Need any help? Yes? Good luck then."
ayebrows
Wow, the comments here are all douchey. What the fuck, Imgur?
pancreas
imgur likes to think anybody with nice things is a douche. And also that everyone who's ugly has a heart of gold.
Youstaygold
Guy Fiere isn't so bad after all I guess.
ohthatscool
after multiple mechanics and car lovers constantly jumping my car.. it took an 85 year old man to tell me my battery connector was loose..
Beefkins
I keep an emergency kit with jumper cables in my car. Nothing more unexepcted than getting help from an asshole in a sports car.
VagisilToothpaste
Their lame excuses = they don't know how to jump or are just scared of strangers. Niceguy Douchebag ftw.
MachineGunEtiquette
Moral of the story? Don't break down in the Walmart parking lot.
aki5
Plus points if he parked properly.
DeenaFisser2
I feel like you need upvotes
Resurrectionist
Guy Fieri feels he needs to keep his image up. Don't be fooled.
iStealTheTopCommentFromReddit
Everybody hates white trash until their car breaks down.
colourblindchameleon
I literally only saw this last year! Fast repost.
stephasaurus
I'm sure I saw this a week ago?
Zulu2
Repost. Ass.
iamireland
Some good books just have douchey covers.
twiggly
Stealing from another imgurian?
Imhungreh
Hmm repost
relvis
i recently went to texas, and on the plane trip over, i sat next to an old couple, i thought she was going to judge me for my tatts and
BeeExpert
So you meta-judged her. Yeah, thats right, I just made up a word. Deal with it.
relvis
stretched ears, she looks at me draw, and tells me that im a phenominal artist, we talked a storm and she loved tattoos and graffiti
relvis
moral of the story, dont count on someone to judge you, fuck you;re upvotes, this story reminded me of that particular situation
chansuke
If she was a native Texan she probably had a few of her own.
AngryHumanoid
Fuck my upvotes? FUCK MY UPVOTES?! I tried and they said they just wanted to be friends...
Frodoniku
sounds like you were being judgemental yourself assuming someone old wouldn't appreciate tats.
doorfer
I +1'd this only. Don't count on someone to judge you is an excellent idea.
baconbeerandbooks
Had to get a jump at the gas station this morning...the guy who worked there locked the door to help me out. :)
Likeaglove
(1/2) By chance are you a female with big boobs and a low cut top? Dam didn't think so, well then this is the only answer:
Likeaglove
(2/2) http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyaelijUvN1qf95oto1_r1_500.jpg
swatchtime
I can read this at least one more time before i downvote it.
Coleslaw1549
Eat shit OP.
AlmostHonestAbe
That'll teach you not to judge a douche by his small penis.
stargaming
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States
Woofbloodywoof
You saw that too huh?
CaptainCunnilingus
so now cool cars and large vehicles mean you have small vehicles? aswell as yellow spiked hair? quit hating ffs imgur
2arqu0n
As a guy with a average+ penis, I'd buy a 67-68 Mustang gt 500 Fastback in a heartbeat.
inboxmeyourmalteseandmaltipoos
Ah yes, I have a mustang and I indeed have a small penis...someone love me :(
pancreas
u just mad you can't afford a mustang
IAmCaptainObvious
Wouldn't this "douce" that you are referring to not be a douche but a good person?
FullThrottle
I gave someone a jump start recently, they were a bit confused when I reversed up as the battery is in my boot!
stedlieye
I've recently given a jump in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and I provided the cables. It's just a decent thing to do.
HatsAreEssential
It's decent, but "dangerous". People like to try to beg for money when they can't get their car to work...
stedlieye
I don't mind a beggar so much, it's the "takers" I worry about. But, I grew up with a lot of unreliable cars, so I sympathize.
stedlieye
For the record, I don't look backstreet boy, or have a fancy Mustang. I have a jank Impala, and I'm kinda scruffy.
statuscatmaticus
Scruffy, you say?
stedlieye
I was recently complimented on my "just for men" beard, but alas, I can't grow an amazing mustache like the janitor.
SaintSchwerin
If someone had asked me, I would have said yes. I even have cables. I just don't know how to jump start a car.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
naktastic
I had a cop jump my car once and he did it wrong. I kept refusing to start it and tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen. :(
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
ballisticburrito
Helped a woman at walmart once. Was weird..she had to hold the hood up and I had to crawl around in her nastyass car to start it. :(
ILogInToUpvote
I bought cables specifically to help people. Sadly ended up needing them myself more often than needing them to help others, but still!
Ipurrforpets
But good on you! For always being ready to help someone :)
NumNumKitty
At first glance I thought your username was "Wigglytuff"
ProfessorCastle
You don't know how to use them because you bought them to beat the shit out of your son huh?
Ipurrforpets
Ha! This reminds me of that one time I tried helping this lady change her flat tire. I had no idea how to change a tire. I still dont blah!
CowonS9
Same here, I have cables in my car's trunk...about 85% sure on how to jump someone else's car..but pretty sure i'll rvrs polarities or smth
TitsUnamerican
I think I have had that exact dialogue before...jumper cables were still in the box.
WolfBoy0612
red clamp on the red posts, black on the black posts or car frame. make sure the car with the good battery is running.
FancyFrance
Red (+) on dead car to red on car 2, then black (-) on dead car to black on car 2. If you cross wires, you'll blow your battery fuse.
LivinginLuling
You can google it on the spot. Also its super easy. Done it tons of times.
TheSonOfMyUnclesNephew
because people only break down in areas with cell coverage?
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
MaverickEsq
A spark will most def fuck your trip computer.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-jump-start-a-car.html
beelzebro
I feel like you need upvotes
Kronoak
this may be a 3 year old post, but i was going to teach him how to jump a car, glad someone else did it though
CompletelyStewart
Red is positive, black is negative, and a car battery usually either has the positive post labeled or there will be a red cable going to it.
CompletelyStewart
Do that to both cars, start the working car, let it run about a minute or two, then start your car and run it for at least five minutes.
CompletelyStewart
Good way to check if it's the battery or alternator that needs replacing, once you have the car running, remove the jumper cables and then
CompletelyStewart
remove the positive battery cable. If the car keeps running, you just need a new battery. If it dies, you need an alternator.
CompletelyStewart
Dammit. I forgot an important step. *ATTACH JUMPER CABLES* to corresponding battery posts on both cars, then proceed to starting dead car.
KillingMeDjently
Be sure to tap the leads together to make sure there's enough amps.
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
+1 for making me laugh, human responsibility be damned!
ballisticburrito
Nothing quite like giving advice that can get someone killed~
KillingMeDjently
I was being facetious, but oddly enough I've seen a few manuals that tell you to do this... If you're not grounded you should be fine.
nation543
neighbor knocked at 5:30 AM for a jump. threw on my coat, grabbed cables and helped in 15ºF
JJJJ4
I had a neighbor knock on my door one night and needed me to take him to the hospital after slicing his arm open. I didn't even hesitate.
frypiggy
15ºF? Here we get average daytime highs of -25ºF in winter; which lasts for months... but that's nothing compared to Verkhoyansk, Russia!
nation543
true but this was october... it averages 0 or below sometimes, now :\
drfsupercenter
Positive to positive, negative to negative is all you really need to know :)
Studoku
Don't cross the streams.
nzey
This is incorrect. Unless you are trying to blow up your battery. Then go for it. Positive to positive, negative to metal on your frame.
bentwrenches
As a Mechanic, I have taken a good battery,turned it upside down, and touched terminals +to+,-to-.It works but, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
LadyNetrex
NO, this has worked for me for many years, no problems. Both on old and new cars, old on old, new on new, old on new and new on old. Easy
drfsupercenter
Wait, what? Connecting the positive of one battery to the negative of another will make the battery explode, not vice versa
CaseyCase
YES! Everyone's like "dude thats not right" then im all "ok retard, go blow up your battery if you want but I won't help you blow it up."
nzey
That is, negative of good battery to frame of car with bad battery.
spayrroe
Positive to positive, negative to ground (which is any metal). Best lesson I ever learned from Phineas and Ferb :)
weirdcalculator
In principle, this is correct, but it's usually impractical. I've never had a problem from jumping battery to battery.
[deleted]
[deleted]
weirdcalculator
I've also never seen a car with an unpainted section of frame. Some have a terminal just for jumping, but best bet is usually engine block.