BottomShelfVodka
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Lol. Whatever, Miranda, you weren't going to give anyone a raise.
or even the same week.
I had the hat. Never considered a tattoo, oh goodness.
reddit.com/r/bottomshelfvodka
Although I despise my typo, @SkyeIngram17 made me giggle with this comment. I let a dark one slip into my last meme dump.
In leu of pet tax, please accept #biscuitadventures as my offering.
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
#4 I haven't done that one but I did print 2 sponge bob sponge holders.
StoicHoneyBadger
#3 puberty's weird. You go from looking like you're 9 years old to looking like you're 23 in under 3 years.
SoGrosslyIncandescent
The person doing whippets in the walk-in just reminded me I was supposed to pick up whip cream while I was out grocery shopping :( now I can't make dessert coffee
purpleparli
#3 they got better at decorating the cake, too
VulcanP90
All jims are jimothy
mcbotulism
Jimberly.
DiabloGrandeArts
#1 I remember saying something to my daughter when she was little. I said something about a monkey, when we were looking at a gorilla. She quickly corrected me. "Actually, gorillas are considered apes." I laughed, but I was so proud of her.
DatDarthCaedus
#45 Good lord, that kale looks sad. Just wilt it down with some shallots, sea salt and smoked paprika. With bacon can also be nice, but I'd suggest cooking it seperately until crispy and then crumbling it over. Parmesan and mushrooms is also a nice pairing, and nuts/seeds work well. However, do absolutely NOT use too much fat/oil, it absorbs it and becomes an awful, soggy mess.
AnonymousStranger
My guess: They started keeping track by department on Sunday, January 29th, 2022.
SuperLuminalMan
#22 that's 1788 omg liar
HamSlamwich
#37 they're fine, but their wife has a black eye.
IneedAVacation
#3 Puberty. AmIright?
Arcanum3000
Transitioning from teen rebellion goth to goth as personal style made a big difference as well.
Surfbreaker83
#28 I've always felt like Monday and Friday are twins with opposing personality traits. Introvert vs. Extrovert. I feel you Monday, I do.
BottomShelfVodka
This is beautiful and poetic
SolenoidValve
#13 My mom's name is Kim (just Kim) and people assume it's short for Kimberly, but I've been telling everyone it's short for Kimothy.
BottomShelfVodka
As far as I'm concerned, your mother's name is Kimothy.
keys79
#39 honestly if it worked out that would be a great story to tell lol
theblackcoat
Can you imagine the brother's best man story?
NeinxLives
#19 see... here I thought boob-money and cards were just people trying to squeeze just a BIT more utility out of a piece of clothing they're required to wear. Turns out it actually starts as a coping mechanism for the lack of pockets... if there is ONE thing I've learned in my time on earth, it's that girls need some DAMN POCKETS!
BottomShelfVodka
Yes! Stop handing me boob sweat cash!
noxdracoria
I gave up on women's clothing years ago and mostly buy mens clothes (like pants/shorts) regardless of how poorly they fit cuz then I have so much pocket space and I love not having to carry a fucking purse around when all I needed were some pockets for my wallet and phone =(
Yourname942
#18 I wish it was possible for people to somehow see in real time how a religion got started. I guarantee they would see the person and think they are insane
DigYourselfBaby
People turn to all kinds of weird shit to try making sense of life, like astrology or tarot. They find ways to justify it.
Yourname942
That's fair, but I feel like with religion a lot of people follow it because it tests their devotion, but if they actually could see the source of it, and see the person/people who came up with it, then they would question it and potentially improve some aspects of society.
DigYourselfBaby
Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, many people just do what they've been taught to do.
SavageDrums
So... What happened 64 days ago?
MasteroftheLag
They hung up the sign and started using it
theshinobi23
#31 Ed...ward...
Baskaa
#43 They...put up a sign.
applesforjuice
#17 sounds like they're proud to be described as a really terrible person to be in a relationship with
ElecTech
#31 Why does the dog look like this
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
Yakeshinu
Alistairetheblu
meatybuffalo
RyvaTheRenamon
PleasantPeasantPheasant
It's based on a commercial with an afghan hound, they kind of just look like that. Especially when you try to draw them with the skill of an 8 year old. https://youtu.be/DzwCdtbBbBY
RoyalWithChz
Came here for this.
EverNotRelevant
#26 He looks good in those panties tho...
BottomShelfVodka
NGL, you're right. He wore them better than I would have.
thebeerbabe
Yeah I'm having trouble finding fault in this
EverNotRelevant
Of course there's fault in this, did you not notice the big crack!
HotSauceOnMyButthole
If a person is bigger, stretching them out is a problem. Esp given how fruicken expensive a good pair are
HotSauceOnMyButthole
That said, he looks fine. He can keep that pair
thebeerbabe
I mean, if you're into that, totally worth investing in one's own size anyway
TheMysteriousTraveller
Still, if my guy wants to wear panties, then he's getting his own. Married or not, I don't share underwear.
EverNotRelevant
Fair, don't want him stretching out the front.
zafner
#40 This is clearly a finglonger
BottomShelfVodka
APassingPlasticBag
#2
redsmerf
#3 that's a way better haircut, plus she looks more comfortable with her personal style
cuddlesdotgif
#6 Miranda, an arlo is like a hundred bucks. I’m sure we’ll all miss that five-cent/one-time raise.
Longbowgun
"Hey! Everybody! I'll stop doing whip-its when we get a raise!"
tantallous
there was never going to be a raise anyway. this is just another attempt to divide the workers. hell there may not have been whip-its at all
StormofWyverns
#50 I thought this was the start of the actual comments and was very confused
BottomShelfVodka
I'm sorry! I'll throw it in the middle if I do it again. I'm over here trying to click "replies" and it's making me equally angry about it.
redheadedrobot
Same! Thought the app was glitching, but that wouldn't be too out of the ordinary 😂
Sullivanish
#13 I refuse to use diminutive forms of names for anyone I don't like. Billy, Bob and Chris are, if not *friends,* at least people that I respect. If you suck, you'll forever be William or Robert or Christopher.
kadaeux
As an Australia, if i'm not trying to get your attention and I use your name, I probably hate you, but if I go "oy cunt" or "cunt, want anything for lunch?" then we're probably friends. In fact this goes for most Aussies. If we're using nicknames and shit "mate, cunt, davo etc" its all good. If we use your first name properly, you've fucked up. IF we know your full name and use it, there's gonna be a murder.
metalMYA
Funny, for me it’s the other way around. If I use your full name (if they are okay with that of course) it’s because I like you. I don’t know, but somehow it increases the level of intimacy more than using a nickname in certain situations if you know what i mean
blinkie79
I had a friend James, who wanted people to call him Jim but he was an ass about it so I got some of our circle started calling him Jimothy. 20 years later and a mutual friend still refers to him as Jimothy and this pleases me.
PeteyVonWho
I do the same thing with my own name. If I like you, I want you to call me Pete or Petey. If I hate you, you have to call me Peter, because I hate that name.
Syrpynt
I'm RickNames, Bitch!
nangke
Billiam, Bobert, and Chrisanthemum
Callynd
I dunno, I like Billiam. Decent YouTuber.
fantastapotamus
I have friends I can Billiam and Ricktopher, they've just accepted it now :)
DrProfessorRocketSurgeon
I intentionally mispronounce the names of people I don't like.
Sullivanish
That's a step too far for me. I'm not aiming for identifiably rude, just... Specific.
orbitn
Whatever you say, Sullivanishtopher.
Kwaj
thatsecondweirdguy
What if my name is none of those?
Sullivanish
Those are examples. If you can't extrapolate from them, well...I think we all know in what category you're gonna end up.
CorGoBrrrr
thatsecondweirdguy
*Drumroll*
FallingStar7669
What about it, Weird Alfred?
thatsecondweirdguy
Will I still be William, Robert, or Christoffer? (Also, different weird guy, I'm the other one)
randomwalrus
Billiam. You are Billiam.
JCBalance
Hi, none of those. You'll be Not if we're friends.
thatsecondweirdguy
I will not!
tyner156
Henceforth you shall be Wilbopher.
TI99Kitty
#6 - WTF is a "whip-it?" I mean, other than a song by Devo?
redheadedrobot
Nitrous oxide in a steel cartridge, used for whipping cream. I guess some people get an "Uncontrollable Urge" for them 😂
TI99Kitty
So something people huff, then. People will put ANYTHING in their bodies, huh?
RyvaTheRenamon
Wait till you learn what jenkem is
DigYourselfBaby
Used as an anesthetic in dentistry & a propellent in aerosol cans like whipped-cream, nitrous oxide is inhaled for a brief feeling of euphoria. Often, a balloon is filled with the gas & inhaled from the balloon. Very bad for you, causing neurological damage, and also, as a greenhouse gas, harmful to the planet.
TI99Kitty
Now I'm almost sorry I know. :/
DigYourselfBaby
I guess you don't want to hear about how Devo is satirizing the USA's insistence on violence & lack of self-awareness in the song, then. :)
TI99Kitty
But what else are you supposed to do if the cream sits out too long? ;p
DigYourselfBaby
KeeweeBanana
I tried it as a teen, got light headed and fell over into a table. 4/10 don't recommend it but doing it once was ok
applesforjuice
Why were you standing up it's never even crossed my mind to do a whippet standing up. Not that I've done a lot but I mean that thought wasn't just never born, it didn't even have grandparents.
KeeweeBanana
I was young and nobody told me what to do 😭
applesforjuice
Fair enough. Hate when people who know it's someone's maiden voyage with a drug don't offer advice or give a briefing on what to expect. At the very least, tell someone not to do it because you aren't going to be helpful. My first time on shrooms i ended up babysitting someone who was also tripping her first time.
gingersrule
#43 if this were in the UK, this would be day 64 after they reopened following the new year, so nothing would have happened
RichterCa
They come back from the new year on Feb 1? Or Jan 31?
TI99Kitty
Then what about that little room that says "586?"
Iullabee
MST is french for STD. enjoy your useless knowledge.
zFUBARz
Timelords live there.
TI99Kitty
586 of them? In that tiny little room?
TI99Kitty
In THIS economy?
zFUBARz
The economy is bigger on the inside, Landlords hate this one trick. (Time Lords love it.)