ifitbleedswecankillit
352321
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Oct 2, 2013 2:55 PM
ifitbleedswecankillit
352321
7950
160
EvangelPetter
I will forever read/upvote things like this, no matter how long. Always.
jules91
Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/can-you-get-through-these-harry-potter-facts-without-tearing
ChristaCarlson
I don't consider buzzfeed to be a reliable source considering they prefer using gifs instead of actual words a good percentage of the time
CatsPitBullsAndBooksOhMy
Yes, I knew this already because it was on Buzzfeed yesterday.
DonKerubino
Number 9 is wrong (i think) because the use of the love potion was only a guess of Dumbledore so it may not be true
oncetwicethrice
Just replace 'patronus' with 'erection.'
pacojerte
i want to die laughing like my granpa did.... no screaming like the people on the bus he was driving..
MotherofMrFace
I forgot about that one - thanks
Chaostar
That's a fun variation on the joke
fiftypatoots
lol oooooo jack russell terriers have been known to chase otters. That's a stretch, mate.
watbout2ndbfast
no, its not. jack russels were actually bred specifically for that
fiftypatoots
No they weren't. They were bred for general small game hunting, particularly for flushing foxes.
themuttonisniceandlean
And an otter, I believe, is in the weasel family.
iWantATurtle
I really love little factoids like this
shaffeybaby
get on pottermore! you'll get more!
AshLlarena63
wow, people took that way more seriously than I thought they would hahahaha
MisterPants
J.K. Rowling has said #9 is untrue.
ConfessionPriest
False, "I open at the close" meant that when Harry was ready to die, then he was ready for the ressurecrion stone...
ghsdkgb
That was the surface meaning. This was a deeper, meta-meaning.
captainpizza
And it can't have a double meaning because?
kitten1323
Because that wasn't the intention. Not unless Rowling confirms it. It's all speculation on that one.
ABellButton
... no...
feldomnotogla
the close literally meant his death. The dates do not match. Accept it.
Scaper1812
I never actually realised that the Mirror of "Erised" is Desire backwards.
SuperLudo
Pretty much all of it is backwards, jumbled or Latin, not hugely imaginative to be honest. Good books though.
jealousbastard
Ive read the books and yet I just learned something.
Blaised
I read the books since they first came out, and I didn't even know this. Then again, it took me forever to figure out "Redrum," too.
takingflight005
VulcanTrekkie45
I knew these all cos they were posted like three days ago.
eggwig
Exactly, thank you.
Otterlyfierce
9 is wrong! Not verified by JK.
ragingkage
#2 Professor Trelawney's great grandmother "Cassandra" may have been inspired but wasn't supposed to be the famed "Cassandra" of greek myth
madwriter29
Don't know enough about HP universe. Cassandra of myth would have lived around 1200 BCE. Do wizards/witches live for 100s/1000s of years?
bluemofia
Hundred or two, yes. Thousands, no.
ragingkage
The greek myth of Cassandra causes her prophecies not to be believed. While Trelawney's great grandmother was celebrated.
patking13
I know it's canon, but I don't like the idea of the books taking place at a set year. Makes them less timeless.
bluemofia
JKR likes to tie things to historical events, as the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel was linked to WWII.
IBlueUp
timeless doesn't mean it doesn't have a setting...
OfficialJimmieRustlers
These are all good ideas. I'll go with them. - J.K Rowling
Taylurker
#9 is actually kinda sad :( poor Voldy
IBlueUp
that one is not true at all.
SarahStumbleBee
I don't know why you're being downvoted. You're right, she never confirmed this.
karlywithak
#15: she decided against it because she figures Vernon's hateful blood was too strong to let any magic through. TMYK
cupcakesandunicorns
neat.
Widget88
Yeah, well I'm pretty sure dogs chase a lot of other shit too.
IAmAdolfHitlerCommanderoftheThirdReich
Terriers, especially, are rat-dogs (meaning they chase them) primarily, IIRC.
gesmehod
I was gonna say...
ahoymatey
Except "I open at the close" was about opening at Harry's death, not the book publication. That was coincidence; JKR had been rejected (1)
ahoymatey
by many publishers before Philosopher's Stone was finally published. She didn't hold off on releasing it so that the dates could match! ((2)
OriginalWadjet
Of course, she hadn't finished all the books at the time the first was published...
ahoymatey
She had a large portion of Deathly Hallows written before she finished any of the other books, though!
raveyk
I think you mean sorcerers stone.......
slightlylucid
Sorcerers Stone is in the US. Pretty much everywhere else is Philosopher's Stone Mr. President.
fictitiousspoon
Really? Really? Please please tell me you are joking. I need to hear these words more then Yzma needed to hear that Kuzco was dead.
raveyk
wow, people took that way more seriously than I thought they would hahahaha
raveyk
jesus christ downvoters it's a joke!!!! lol
cowabunga410
Why do you guys do this to me with Fred and George everytime? I mean, they never actually saw each other as old men? shit.
capsulet
In the movies... In the books, they didn't turn old, they just grew ridiculous white beards as did other students who tried, girls included.
JennaMack
But they were bad asses! Book 1, twins bewitches snowballs to hit Quirrell in the back of the head....where Voldy's face was hanging out.
noideaforafunnyname
Fucking feels man.
HansGrohlo
Patronus one seems worse to me. Jesus, the feels.
chillinoutmaxinrelaxinallcool
Seriously. It will always be too soon with Fred and George!
TheFraggler
I loved those two, and the feels man...the feels. *sniffs*
notaballoon
Someone explain to me how "Jack Russell terriers are known to chase otters"
bluemofia
I thought that one was a bit kooky because small dogs tend to chase, you know, everything.
notaballoon
I guess Jack Russell terriers were bred to hunt and kill river otters, which are known to eat small children in Northern England
gavinzacgavinzac
They also sometimes chase their tails. This is a clear indication from JKR that Ron's a wanker.
DiedAndHauntingImgur
I peed a little. I'm going to keep you forever.
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
False, my master's boggart was Bellatrix Lestrange getting ready to kiss him.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wha...
coalblackcrows
omg this made me chuckle snort
Hot4Professor
I don't even care about the comment. Upvote for the username. All hail the third nipple!
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
...I like you.
querub
i appreciate your username...
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
Thank you.
CptTightPants
Will he still be your master when we're married?
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
Nope, you'll be my one and only.
psychotherapist
Mal would never wed the Dark Lord.
CptTightPants
The Dark Lord's Third Nipple*
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
NO ONE EVER READS THE USERNAME. I mean, come ON guys.
DoctorWhodunit
O_o
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
...I guess you had to be there.
mynameisjoseph
Hit next, realized what I read, came back and upvoted lmao
Veggisaurus
That would be awesome if Dudley had a magical child!!!!!!
sugar3
WHY NOT!!
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
That needs to be its' own little book.
iamsupermegafoxyawesomehot
I started smacking my leg when I read that. WHY DIDN'T SHE DO THAT???
Troggie
Because she didn't think any magical DNA could survive Vernon Dursley's genetics.
MrsWhitekeys
I am SO disappointed that didn't happen.
DorthLous
He might... just not on that platform that year ;)
SeriousBlack
There are fanfictions that depict that. Incidentally, those stories are terrible.
morgeb
I got fucking goosebumps at the thought of that.
somenights
i'm going to pretend that he does anyways. just for fun.
Pizzagalore
I'm sorry I though of street fighter Dudley . To be fair, the baby will have an amazing stash
Pizzagalore
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/1/15668/1739045-super_street_fighter_4_dudley_wallpaper.jpg
iamdanman
He'd be a little shit.
PooperoniPizza
fuck that
MotherfuckinGoats
She didn't because she said "No magic could survive contact with Vernon's genes." and laughed
gilsuhwan
That would have been so great.
meelahi
Came to say exactly that! I would have loved to see the girl marrying him!
ImLukeSkywalkerImHereToRescueYou
Named Petunia...how bout them feels?
Smayds
Wow, Petunia finally got to go to Hogwarts, huh? That would have been cool.
cable7193
False. Diddykins Jr.
Viscer
duddykins?
IShouldProbablyBeDoingSomethingProductiveInstead
SHUT UP.
Icantbebothered
I don't know any of these things, nor any of the things in the pictures. I'm pretty sure it's harry potter, but that's it.
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
I don't know why you got downvoted. People are more willing to hate than educate. Yes, that's Harry Potter. You should read them. <3
Icantbebothered
Because of my wife, I do know some stuff from the HP series. But the main thing is that I don't like it. Bad magic, childish at best. IMHO.
tomhiddlestonsthirdtesticlewhyyesyoucantouchmeallyouwant
How do you know if you haven't read them? Now you're the one being unwilling to educate yourself.
Icantbebothered
I decided when I was 13 I wouldn't read those books. I decided again when I was 22 that I would never watch the movies.
veelafleur
Oh man I always suspected, but when it was finally revealed how she felt....Yeah, I could relate so bad.
DVSBSTrD
"But for my mother and father oh no! It was always Lily this and Lily that. They were *proud* of having a witch in the family!" I knew then.
TheMonsterWithinYou
At 21, I still hope and wish Hogwarts to be real and the owl that was supposed to bring me my letter just met some unfortunate events lol
Choiced
For your owl to have been delayed that long, I would say it would have met a...Series of Unfortunate Events.
frozensonata
(1/2) Voldemort rose to power in 1997. He destroyed all records of muggle borns. Therefore, all muggle borns that would have been younger...
frozensonata
(2/2)than 11 at the time of his takeover would never have gotten their letters. The MoM is still in the process of finding all muggle borns.
TheMonsterWithinYou
well hot damn.. Im right here damn it!!! >:[ come and get me!! lmao
bubblesbubbles
please, be a messenger from MoM...
ImLukeSkywalkerImHereToRescueYou
frozensonata
That was... unbelievably heart wrenching. Kudos and an upvote to you.
tiddlywinks
Oh my gosh all the feels would be had
anyalynn
Feel ALL THE FEELS
eviscera
ALL OF THEM.
ImLukeSkywalkerImHereToRescueYou
tiddlywinks
I'm actually crying dang it why
PaladinBlair
I wish Rowling had done something like this in the end. In my opinion, it would have made the scene even more emotionally powerful.
eviscera
As opposed to writing the epilogue like fanfiction about her own novel? I mean, Draco's son is named Scorpius. >_> Seriously J.K.?
Fluffybogaloo
Damn it onion cutting ninjas
davosonion
Dudley won't procreate.
bluemofia
He grew out of being a royal douchebag after the encounter with the Dementors. He realized that he was a total shit, and decided to change.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Efreeti
You are not acting like the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.
kerrath
maybe, but who would date someone named "dudley"? thats the worst name ever. like imagine moaning that in sex. awful.
maybesomeday
is it weird I did this out loud?
IbukiOnTheScene
http://imgur.com/FMTOjK0
Tchyrimi
My upvote put this at 666.
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
I actually wrote a really bad fanfic about that one upon a time.
fixxychild
Can I read it?
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
Are you sure? Truly? I wrote it when I was like 16, and I don't have any writing skills...and she doesn't appear until later I think (1)
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3699844/1/The-Adventures-of-Albus-Severus-Potter
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
The story was about Albus. But, if you want to cringe/poke fun, here ya go: (2)
fixxychild
My favorite part about bad fanfiction is the adjective/verb choice when writing dialogue
fixxychild
yay thanks! haha I don't care how bad it is. Fan Fiction has always impressed me. That someone would care enough to put effort into it.