lucasmacdonald81101
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Oh, as a side note, I'm a divorced dad, I get my daughter every weekend. It's still hard not seeing her every day, but it happened a while ago, so you kinda get used to it. But damn these kinds of messages make me feel good.
BloodyDisappointment
You did excellent.
bilgetea
I also miss this daughter’s dad.
Vonph
Anyone else expecting just a 👍 reply?
Joecoin2
Ah, an only child.
BoblovesMac31415101
🥹
AlmostHappy
I can’t fathom having a dad. Last time I checked he was alive and well, he just never bonded with me and I grew up expecting physical violence instead of warmth from men. It’s only been very recent that I realized I grew up with a single mom and an abusive live-in waste of her time.
mploki
I’m always jealous for people who have non-narcissistic functioning parents
ArcaneM37
Turn it to aspiration to be the parent you needed for some other kid.
SilentScreamsX
If my son ever sends me a message like this, it'll literally be one of the proudest moments of my life.
He's only 7 right now, so he doesn't have a phone or the literacy level to pull it off yet, but one day!
Splendoinkasaurus
I miss my dad.
Freightshaker
My dad died in 99'. I still have a tough time with the word "dad".
cousteau
BRB, gonna give my dad a hug!
(in like 7 hours; it's a long trip)
AC1D1C
It sounds like you have an incredible bond! I wish my father cared as much, or at least at all.
doctorId
I'm doing a lot of healing on myself lately and it makes me wish my dad was still around. If he was still here during a time when I was able to be more emotionally honest there's a lot more I would say to him. Cherish your loved ones while you've got them, people.
Gorgoror
You got a dad ?
DidgeryDrew
Lost my mom a little over a year ago. I miss her at times, but she was extremely volatile and I could never predict her reaction to anything, so I don't miss that part. She had had a stroke and then slowly decayed over the following four years, so I had to miss her even when she was alive. It's a weird feeling.
Amomani
Oh I thought dad was dead. And this was a note to his spirit or memory or ghost or whatever.
oddoregano
I wish I knew what this felt like
InconspicuousLampshade
Yesterday I helped a father move things out of his deceased son's apartment. I saw a big lit up portrait of his son in his living room and the pained expression he wore the entire time. He spent a lot of time recovering things from the son's computer, since it was still logged in when he died, so as long as it was left open he could access it. When we were packing things, he asked us not to throw anything away, no matter how insignificant it might look. I hope he finds a message like this.
CatSparkleBreaker
I lost mine to Russian MAGA propaganda, and I mourn the man I looked up to growing up. if I sent op's message he would probably respond "ok."
notmyrealface
This makes me miss my mom. ...My dad sucked.
ButeoTags
The best part:
This is not limited to parenthood.
nygreenguy
From a dad with an 8yo, I hope I can be as good as you clearly were.
HandoB4Javert
mastertmo
Will, my dad died a year and a half ago, and now I'm wiping away tears, so thanks @op!
disinformatique
I miss my grandpa and my dad. both passed away long time ago. Not a day goes by that I dont remember them.
DodyShiratori
Parenthood/fatherhood goals
I wouldn't know what to do with myself if my kids said anything even remotely close to this to me some day.
One of them is non-vetbal too, and I know I'm gonna cry if he ever says anything at all.
He gives amazing hugs though, and that's more than enough
niamhontoast
I've literally only ever been relieved that I don't have to interact with my parents any more, so you did an excellent job.
fishmaceins
Great, now I'm crying too.
TheLordFoxington
Ikr?
Rovylern
I often wonder how different my life (and my brother's) would have been if our dad hadn't died when I was 3 and my brother was 8.
lightsout85
It's still wild to me that some people actually have good relationships with their parents, like it's a some kind of sitcom. Meanwhile I'm over here thinking about how I'll have to pretend (for family-friends) that I'm sad when they eventually die.
Neurisko
Yeah. Maybe that's why I've always disliked family sitcoms. I only like stuff like Scrubs and Community.
YouCanCallMeAnything
My friends and spouse are ready to throw a party when either of my parents kick the bucket. I hope you have a similar level of support in your life.
Quizz25S
It's wild to me that some parents traumatize their children. I don't know what you went through but you didn't deserve it and I'm sorry. I hope you're in a better place now friend.
Multipew
It'll be sad when my father dies, but tbh the dementia means we've already started processing the grief.
When my mother dies it'll be a huge relief to everyone around her.
KawaiiInari
It hurts bad, friend. But take heart that there are people who care. And you can be one of them. Find people who love you back. Find people who give you kindness.
Ababybunny
:/
spookyactionatadistance
I'm sorry you had to live this.
HezzaSmith000
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dTVqbGNlZDJ3NzZwZmF2YWdveDFmZnJ5MzgxemQ3ZWJ0OWEwZGd1MyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/xXg51bnrbdZTupzqFf/200w.webp
Akintunde
It can take time. It took until I my 30s to have a good relationship with my dad. ... Mostly because he finally learned to shut the fuck up about religion.
pleaseuseotherdoor
It took until I was 28 to realize that I was better off without them. It's been 10 years and I feel like I'm finally becoming the adult I could have been back then.
Akintunde
I get it. I had written him off in my 20s, and when I was engaged he invited my wife and I over to stay on the stipulation that we couldn't share a room, which was just the final of too many straws. Some relationships can't be redeemed and I'm glad you're happier for it and managed to break away, as it can be so challenging.
HomerSimpsonsEvilTwin
You don't have to. I certainly didn't.
CardboardEmpress
I wasn't especially close to my parents and decided that when i had kids it would be different. And so it is. I empathise with your situation, but you have the opportunity to create your own future. :)
InconspicuousLampshade
It might be a more confusing experience than you think. Maybe you're right, maybe there won't be any strong emotions, but when people leave who were a big part of your life, for good or bad, it can affect you.
Theory89
And this is ok. It's OK to mourn the loss of someone who abused you, because you're mourning the loss of what could have been. It doesn't mean you have to forgive them. There is no wrong way to grieve, and make sure you judge yourself by what others 'expect' of you.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
I'm planning a wedding at the moment - my fiancee is blessed with this amazing big kind collaborative healthy family unit... and I've got no dad, an estranged mum and my brothers a heroin addict. When I first met her family I felt like Jack Skellington in Christmas Town: I'd never seen anything like it. They understand my situation and they're so empathic and welcoming... but it's rough sometimes being confronted with the contrast and seeing what I've missed. It's time to break a cycle.
Foxsayy
Sometimes I think it'd be nice to marry into that. Knowing my family though, it also feels kinda horrifying having family that close.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
Oh it's absolutely terrifying - it took me a year to get comfortable around them because I was so used to feeling unsafe and on edge around family groups. But obviously Your mileage may vary - I just know I was tremendously lucky and I hope you have or find a person or people or passion that makes you feel the same way: it's what every person deserves.
RevolutionOnHerLips
I sincerely hope that you feel like a part of their family - if not already, then after the wedding! Every child deserves to feel loved, and I hope that your fiancee's family can help heal that tiny kid in you that just wants to feel safe and accepted.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
They've been absolutely incredible, and im so lucky to finally see that dynamic modelled for me. They message me every couple of days, they call just to say hi, they give me advice, they say they're proud... its amazing. I'm cooking us all Easter dinner this weekend and I can't wait - but mostly I can't wait to show our kids the same thing.
AnitaNewusername
It was like this for me as well. Still is sometimes. Just like you say: it's the contrast that really hits home. The "what if" of it all. I'm just glad I have such amazing in-laws and view them more as family than I do my own flesh and blood
MyRespectableAlterEgo
The real blessing of it is the opportunity to break the cycle for the next generation - it gives us the chance to see what might have been, and hopefully heal in the process. It's a hell of a feeling, even though it's a strange and often bittersweet one. Good luck to us all!
MaleProstateMilker88
Mood.
skincancerisfun
Very strange. Like coming to learn that some people had puffer jackets, while you went through the winter frost in a tshirt. Takes a while to even understand the full extent of the differences
Lontri
Yeah.. my mom sometimes wonders out loud why we aren't as close as the other mothers and daughters she sees around. Growing up she yelled at me every day, humiliated me in front of other people sometimes, laughed at me when I was having anxiety attacks, threw away things of mine with sentimental value, often threatened with physical violence, actually beat me up a couple of times, once yelled at me that my birth ruined her life, and more shit. Yea, I wonder why we're not close.
Tommyboypsp
I'll be your dad
Gerdalearnedme
I had three near misses of fathers.
Birth father-never met him.
Step father-abusive
Mother’s husband-just her husband, no fathering.
I long for this love. ❤️
IStartConversationsAndThenGetBoredWithMyOwnPoint
Feel that pertaining to my spawn points. But my daughter is 5 now and I recall a question asked by an acquaintance when she was 2: "What's punishment like for her?" It took me a second and I exclaimed "Punishment? She's TWO!" She gets told no and I set boundaries but to this day I've never had to punish her. A stern look and a "not-uh" and then we hug. I'm not 100% on everything but it is a choice if you want to resent your kid for existing.
Outlavv
My mom is one of my closest friends. But some actual super good advice: you don't have to pretend to be sad or feel anything other than your true feelings. If people don't like its their problem
invaliduserformat
Nah cause then they try to "fix it" and ain't nobody got time for the "but they're your family, forgive and forget" and the questions and the invalidating of the experience that invariably is said by at least one person who can't wrap their minds around the fact that some people had really shit parents.