For my cakeday, I give you my most favorite favorite.

Sep 16, 2017 12:25 AM

First OP is @PressToSelfDestruct

As a veteran I found this halarious and have sent it to may people.

Keep your booger hook off the bang switch 'til you're ready to bring the pain

9 years ago | Likes 175 Dislikes 7

It's like reading all of the Call of Duty death quotes

9 years ago | Likes 142 Dislikes 1

but what if your religion is athiest. like buddhism

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That sixth one has never worked in a school district.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When they're running, try to catch them. When you catch them, try to make them run.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Watch those corners!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Random question: how does blotting work as a cleaning technique? It's just pressing on the stain, isn't it?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, aren't you just pressing the spill further into the fabric?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"There is no atheist in a foxhole" is more of an argument against foxholes then an argument against atheists.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

nice.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Former Infantry, these are all true, especially that bit about the 2LT, most are too proud to admit they don't know shit about nothing.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

These are not even close to all being true. Quite a few that are very wrong

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not a vet, but my dad served in a surgical unit in Te Ninh. His higher ups "affectionately" called his position Rocket City. If you have

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Made it through your deployment, you've already done more than was asked. I also fucked this post up. I'm not surwr how this whole thing wor

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Quotes about napalm, though? I get the feeling some of these haven't held up well.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Jody has all the women.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Jodys home now smoking grass, jodys pumping your wifes ass

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nine pages is too much...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

This is wisdom, obviously written by a wise warrior. thumbs up

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 4

Maxim 43. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

If you're in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

What is this, screencaps of a word document zoomed in to 300%? Is that you grandpa?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

"The side with the simplest uniform wins" I see! So nudity makes you stronger in this planet!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So that hair does compensate for something...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Strange, dbza usually gets more upvotes.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel like I'm ready after reading this. Can 40 year olds enlist?

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 1

As long as you are fighting fit, the US Amy will take you.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

But not the US Becky?

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

LOL!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Related maybe dumb question, as a 30 something, can I still be in top gun?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Too old to enter Officer academy, m8.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah the Air Force. Where the grunts stay behind and send the officers into combat.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Top Gun was Navy, m8.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

uh...the airforce doesn't have grunts. They are an entire branch of POGs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Huh, I hadn't seen the sucking chest wound line since a tagline file in 1994.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The "If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid" quote is so dumb and not true! My brother once waited for someone to get him to go 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Somewhere. Now, keep in mind, this friend did not come by car. His phone battery began running dry so he wanted to charge it! 2/3

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

What he did was that he used extending chords all the way from outlets in the living room to the hallway by the door where he charged 3/4

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

His phone. This wouldn't be that much of a problem hadn't it been for A) we have an electrical outlet in the hallway B) we have a 4/5

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Perfectly working doorbell and C) we have a window in the kitchen looking out to the front porch and our parents aren't cleaning maniacs 5/6

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

So walking inside with shoes are ok so long as it wasn't just cleaned. Point is that it worked fine, but it was still stupid AF 6/6

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Suppressive fire works only and only when it's M2's.

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 4

Or MK 19s

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nah bro. The minigun trumps browning. Talibs called it "the breath of Allah", and ive never recieved return fire while letting it loose.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 7

BBBBBVRRROOOOOOOOOOM.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 5

Must be the POGs downvoting.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

M240?

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

Nah mother fuckers still shoot back when they hear 240's and 249's.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Never had that issue, but then again most of em for us hailed ass when their first friend dropped.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A belt full of tracers might slow them down for a minute or two while they watch the fireworks. (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

But then, that's distraction, not supression.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Either way, the desired effect was achieved

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Left right left right left right kill. Left right left right you know we will!

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

I went to the market, where everybody shops, pulled out my kabar, and I began to chop!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I went to the mosque, where all the talibs pray, pulled out my 240, AND I BEGAN TO SPRAY!!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I WENT TO THE PARK, WHERE ALL THE KIDDIES PLAY, PULLED OUT ALL MY CANDY, AND GAVE IT ALL AWAY!!!!!!!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Left right left right left right candy! Left right left right makes the day dandy.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Jesus Christ you are a boot

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1