terrifyingspacemonkeys
41978
904
26
That last one is Sarah Millican.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#46 Twinkies suck.
Eat an Eclair.
Mmmmmmh
I relate to too many of these.
Blacksmith80
I appreciate the sentiment... but if I surround myself with peanut butter, im gon' die.
mastertmo
#2 I actually did do this once (only once). The first 3 Fridays of April I brought in veggie trays in donut boxes. The last Friday was actual donuts in donut boxes.
Pineapple69TTV
#34 the stock photo makes this so much better 😆😆
RoyalWithChz
#15 peanut butter was invented as a glue at first so that tracks.
nickelrocket
#1 this is my wife. No matter how much I reassure her I love just the way she is and she's healthy she can't accept it. Three.5 pregnancies, age, menopause and German DNA working against her. She works out regularly, salads and intermittent fasting. Not budging. Rich people get ozempic, poor people get body positivity.
ioncewBaroness
#18 one container is one serving, currently I identify as party, formerly it was family
MayMayz4DayzYo
#40 Ened! They got Weig Waters, Ened.
draconicus
I'm one of those weirdos that actually enjoys feeling fat.
mastertmo
#1 Oh no, I was fat back then too. I'm just fatter now. I've put on about 50lbs since Covid started. *sigh*
ItsMoreComplicatedThanThis
#24 This 1200 calories fad is dangerous. Your daily energy demand is highly individual and depends on a lot of factors, many of them outside your control.
And for a lot of people, 1200 calories is malnutrition.
This is just the next cycle of making people, especially teenagers, feel bad about their bodies.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#12 Toast it.
… uh
TOAST IT!
AyatollahBahloni
#16 Aberdeen proverb: "Dinna gie money for drink, but aye carry a corkscrew."
aramis44
#25 You mean styrofoam?
obarey
r/ricecakes tells a different story (nsfw)
SerialSeb
#1 Fuck! I sure do buddy!
Littledirtybirdyfeet
#3 blame beauty standards, making her feel bad about her weight and then her cravings temporarily overriding that guilt.
hfctom
#7 Microwave kale chips with honey mustard. Also with the cauliflower add a bunch of seasoning like Italian mix & garlic dalt. Add some butter or (in my case) avocado oil based butter.
MerriMod
#7 As someone who loves veggies of all sorts, and genuinely wishes to promote the appeal of veggies' natural deliciousness? Fuck kale. Garbage weed. Go away.
CloseupCaptionReaction
#1 yes... back 7 years ago I had an issue with my torso and some "man boobs" that I can't sport away. I was obsessed with them and ashamed. Last year my ex gf tok mw to the beach and made me promise that I go into the water. Over the last few years I haven't done anything, so sitting on the beach with man boobs was a big overwhelming thing to do... but she gave me the courage to do so. It saddens me that I'm solo again.
michiyl
Have a questionable double hug
DutchBoeremeisie
My best friend is uncomfortable with his size and his body and it makes me so sad, because he is this beautiful, sexy man. The fact that he is overweight makes no difference to this. Trust me - there are people out there who think you are beautiful and sexy just the way you are. Unfortunately the problem is that they can be hard to find or recognise. I wish you all the best.
ZAX1527
I mean this in the nicest way possible, you’re not important enough for people to notice you. No one will remember what you look like at the beach or any other place where you have to be exposed. This helped me get over some of my self image issues strangely. I tired to remember other big people I see at the pool or at the beach and I really can’t think of anyone.
sonnuvah
#7 Maybe I'm crazy but I love kale. I pull the leaves apart and dice the bit in the middle to cook that first with onions and celery (and maybe bell pepper or carrot depending on the recipe). Then I cut the leaves into smaller pieces and mix in toward the end when it's almost done to bring out that amazing green color and soften it just enough to enjoy
sonnuvah
And a leaf of kale in grilled cheese. Not necessarily the healthiest thing but it adds a little broccoli flavor (they're derived from the same plant, wild cabbage) which balances the cheese and salt flavor.
emarieshanks28
#50 She's so great on Taskmaster
DigiT00l
She's also one of very few comedians who does audience interaction right
MelfsAcidArrow
#8 I realized I had a problem when I had to do labs that required me to fast from 8pm to 8am and it was a legit struggle
theomni
I like this, because I did in fact start a diet this past Monday. It's the Potato Diet, which I think is the best and easiest diet, so it's going pretty good so far, but I do still think about other foods sometimes.
DigiT00l
#50 cuts off the follow up joke about it reminding her of something she liked in the past but couldn't figure it out until later (candied apple)
carrotsonfire
#2 If I were their manager I'd have put the doughnuts in another box somewhere else and gone "Nah I'm just kidding I got doughnuts as well" and then bring out that box so people can have both if they want.
CrusherOfCities
If you look at the smaller text they wrote, that's exactly what this person did.
KYGELL91
I was so worried about my heart after having chest tightness and pains that I spent a year fighting for my life. Now I'm accidentally fit
Buildosaurus
metroid2
#2 I would honestly be happy with that. The haters could be crabby while I would be just nomming away.
DutchBoeremeisie
Just get a container of hummous per person! (At least, I hope that is what is in the middle).
And don't put it in a pizza box - just make it look nice - perfectly acceptable treat.
terrifyingspacemonkeys
To be honest, I most likely would be too. But if I was having a shite day and just wanted a treat, I'd be less than impressed.
HighrockTendales
Me too and not in some holier than thou way: Krispy Kreme doughnuts are fucking awful. How do they manage to make THAT much fat and sugar so insipid?
Deshalope
Cherry tomatoes beat donuts any day.
janeQdoe
IAmTheBadW01f
Back when I worked night shift we got a couple giant leftover salads and one of my co-workers loved the pepperoncinis but wasn't going to just dig through the entire thing for them.
Now, I enjoy them, but not nearly as much as him, so I ended up eating like 4 big bowls of salad so he could get to the pepperoncinis buried in it
AlexSomething
I wouldn't but that's 100% because of expectation. Like raisins when you expect chocolate chips, it's the betrayal that hurts. I love raisins and crudités, just don't lie to me.
abc987
If it was actual april fools day, I'd say it is fair. Admit they got you good and eat da carrot
AlexSomething
Yeah, as an april's fools, that's fair, missed/forgot the actual context even though it's right there in the picture...
poorwegian
#24 1200 does not seem like enough for anyone other than very petite inactive women
corylusavellana
You'd be surprised. Also, most of us are pretty inactive.
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
Probably something a nutritionist would take into account to begin with. There is likely a reason behind that number. Perhaps the response could clue us in?
drinkthederpentine
It's made up and in a meme. Try not to believe everything you see on the internet
Chais
That's the point. Caloric deficit.
poorwegian
There's a difference between a healthy deficit and being under your basal metabolic rate needed for basic bodily functions though. Sure you'll lose weight fast with the latter, but at the cost of overall health which doesn't seem worth it.
A lady who is 5'3" in her mid 20s weighing 110lbs would have a bmr of around 1200, for any of those who are curious.
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
Cool. My BMR is 2600 as a 6'3' male in my 30s weighing around 350lbs. The range is not as wide as you seem to think. I eat about 1500 calories a day on the high end to try and lose weight and when coupled with my disability its still not changing things. So if you really think 1200 is "too little" boy have got news. Unless you are trying to BULK its probably plenty.
BubbleTeaFox
"Women should never consume fewer than 1,200 calories per day and men should never consume fewer than 1,500 calories per day." https://www.hackensackmeridianhealth.org/en/healthu/2022/03/11/how-many-calories-should-you-eat
1200 calories/ day is the bare minimum for a woman to not starve. You're barely meeting your body's needs or you're full of shit.
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
You really should read the whole thing and not exclude the part that fucks up your little statement. "without specific, personalized guidance from a doctor or registered dietitian" Do you think I just came to a number on my fucking own? 3500 calories per pound of fat. I need a deficit to reduce and I cannot do regular cardio without regular access to a pool. So yes my calorie intake is typically 1200-1500 calories per day. I do not have the physical activities to eat more and 2000 is average.