TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
121866
5927
122
Clusterf*ck
Spilled Bucket of F*cks
Don't thank me.
Mar 14, 2016 4:22 PM
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
121866
5927
122
TheMatterhorn
*checks username then pics* You poor woman.
fatdaddy777
Odd assortment of things on the desk...lotion, eye drops, hot sauce, bottle of pills.......
ordohereticusinquisitor
I had a drill sergeant turn to two privates near a leaky spigot "Hey, you two, fix that", they looked confused and said "We don't know how-
ordohereticusinquisitor
drill sergeant" he just gave them an incredulous look and asked 'Why not?"
dev89
Did you just spit on the ground!? Pick that shit up, put it in your pocket!
ffilm
Drill Instructor Sergeant Hines: "Jesus Christ private, you'd fuck up a wet dream."
smellsbells
You know what it's like to find another girl with toe thumbs. You both acknowledge the pain, silently.
kevip1
"Private, you're so unlucky that if it was raining pussy you would get hit in the face with a bag of dicks"
AdmiralButtStuff
My DS used to say, "scuba" to ask if we understood. The appropriate response was "diver." He let us say Steve for WEEKS before correcting us
thefuzziestofbutts
"Oxygen thieving face" is something I'll have to use later in life.
MajorLeagueFister
I just like the whole idea of using insults you're not clear in the meaning of.
OldLongTallAndUgly
Well jolly fuckin rancher I bet your momma wishes she swallowed you.
CougarAndMerlinAndMaverickAndGoose
Anyone else read these in R Lee Ermey's voice?
UrsaUrsa
Yes!
NorfolkBoy
"I am going to see you drummed out of the Regiment" "You Fucking waste of Oxygen" "What a Pillock" Ah, happy days getting beasted.
DieselBrother
"YOU SMELL LIKE CORN CHIPS AND FAILURE"
mushymushroom
Torchys hot sauce!
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
All hail Torchy's Diablo sauce!
buckyohare92
My DS told one of the recruits to apologize to a tree for wasting its Oxygen
Twobraincells
In USMC boot camp there was this kid that was suicidal and my DI instead of consoling him said " Yep! Should of joined the Navy pussy."
combatwombat9966
In basic I learned my hands had many names. All of them to do with dicks.
Aegis71
I was informed all mine were good for was beating dicks.
JohnathanJacobJinglySchmidt
My favorite is that I don't have a mouth. I have a cock-holster.
codyexplainsitall
Hell ya, I got a set of dickbeaters as well.
NotSoDarkKnight
Nutter butter churners
bobdolelikescheese
bust one i heard. MTI to 6'7" private. "what the fuck are you doing here? shouldn't you be terrorizing a small village somewhere."
McKavian
Did anyone else read these in R. Lee Ermy's voice?
JakeoftheJakes
My favorite from boot camp: don't thank me, thank your daddy for not pulling out.
thenonworkinglight
Heard a DS made a private carry a plant around to replace the oxygen he was wasting
McKavian
That one is/was fairly common
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
That was an entry in the book as well
bobdolelikescheese
Heard of a guy who had to host a funeral for a cockroach he stepped on. It had more time in service than he did.
thelefthandN7
Whatever this book is, I want it.
dragonsnappers
The title of the post is also the title of the book...
CoeusDarksoul
http://smile.amazon.com/dp/0062351966 Getting the Kindle version now :D
asmdss
I am the author of this book. You can order a signed copy here: http://asmdss.com/product/awesome-s-my-drill-sergeant-said-the-book
stretchedarmstrong
agreed, what is this book!?
flamingchickens
I'm pretty sure it's awesome shit my drill Sargent said
stretchedarmstrong
always remember to read the fine print...
CoeusDarksoul
http://smile.amazon.com/dp/0062351966 :)
sdotizzo
Is that a toe thumb?
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
And thanks for giving me an idea for a new username. :)
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
I prefer to think of it as a hitch hiking safety thumb.
orixandcrak
... but you have to censor "shit"...
NrNone
Probably 'cause it'll be on the cover.
owlest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0s9k3sIAaw
bippityboppitybuttsex
Quirky Trick: If you get to Basic Training and your Drill Sergeant doesn't have a blue disk around his hat insignia, ask him where it is.
Darkspire
Smoked to DEATH. lol
bippityboppitybuttsex
This building isn't going to get low-crawled around by itself!
humblegrumblebee
I do not understand
bippityboppitybuttsex
Infantry personnel wear a blue cord (in Class A's or Blues) and blue discs around their crossed rifles.
bippityboppitybuttsex
.. and hat insignia... if it is missing, that means they are a REMF.
scampbellucf
Did we all read those in the same voice?
Seggs
it says drill sergeant, so i read them in the ranger up voice. example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOKhwcWEYlw
GrinningJest3r
They tried WAY too hard to be like the Powerthirst guys.
doombob51
" 5'9. I didn't know they stacked shit that high! " -Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
circlebreaker
OF COURSE I DID! DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO READS DRILL SEGEANT QUOTES IN A PORKY PIG VOICE?!
customcartoons
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT WE ALL HEARD THE SAME DAMN VOICE, PRINCESS!!
srsfaceI8C
If that voice is R. Lee Ermey, then yes.
DankS0uls
Probably not. I read them as Kronk from the Emporer's New Groove.
Seggs
odd, i read them in brock sampson's voice
watztheuse
YES DRILL SERGEANT!!!
PrincessWordplay
Drill Sergeant quote from a military friend: "I'm starting to think Uncle Sam was pointing to the guy behind you."
knightoftzeentch
"I'll shove a dildo so far up your ass, the only thing out your mouth will be 'sir, can you please take it out of the box first" he was mad
Mesattack0857
Ooh, that's a good one without even using curses. Clever Sergeant.
PrincessWordplay
I just paraphrased. The original quote has at least half a dozen invocations of fuck and shit.
idpassr
Those were the best ones.
Mesattack0857
They often have the most weight from the sheer creativity involved.
tomyironmane
Drill Instructors have no sense of humor. The most dreaded thing our Senior could say was "do you expect me to lower my standards?"
tomyironmane
... because there is only one acceptable answer to that at Parris Island. "NO SIR!" ... which meant you were gonna go back into the sandpit.
Monkofthepast
They have great senses of humor. You just don't like that you were the joke. ^^
tomyironmane
There is that angle, sure. But the whole place has a warped deadpan seriousness about it... You learn to laugh about it later.
Monkofthepast
I'll be honest. I didn't appreciate it as much then as I do now.
tomyironmane
You want surreal? Wait till you're in 3rd Bn, 1st RTR Parris Island, and the DI on the PT field starts quoting Gunny Hartmann at you.
tomyironmane
... because laughing right there will get you smoked. That said, I can think of two instances when I DID make a Drill Instructor laugh.
tomyironmane
"What are you doing here if you have an English degree?" "The last thing they taught this recruit, Sir! English degrees ain't worth shit!"
tomyironmane
"What's with all these recruits from Ohio?" "That's easy, sir. Everyone is trying to get the hell out of Ohio."
ninjato229
Mine told us that we looked like a bunch of dicks bobbing in a bath tub when we were learning to march.
knightoftzeentch
At least yours didn't refused to let you go to the latrine until not one, but 2 guys pissed themselves
Rips4w
Your thumb. It's...unsettling.
hexachordalcombinatoriality
check username.
TheHashSlingingJagermanJensen
Well wouldja lookit that
scofro77
No joke, I believe it is a repurposed toe
jdlsharkman
"Repurposed" is a rather kind term.
TrienL
Look at the username. It is known.
reverserkroger
It is known.
scofro77
I always knew I would be a terrible detective.
BrianBeerGod
I'm just glad I'm not the only one... I was extremely unsettled by the fingers holding the book
IckarusKarow
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!
explodingoctopus
It is a "clubbed thumb." A harmless genetic trait where the last bone on the thumb, and the nail, is short and wide.
IckarusKarow
thanks, thats what i wanted to know, and my google search: "short thumb" didnt really help haha
TheGirlWithTheToeThumbs
It's my thumb.
IckarusKarow
i can see that now once you pointed it out.
Justadudelivinglife
Thinking the same thing. Nail to finger ratio is uncomfortable.
StarryPlough
I constantly see the Americans on here boasting about how much they got abused in the military, it's so strange.
idpassr
Meanwhile, 2 comments above is a comment from a member of the UK forces.
McKavian
One of my DSs was so over the top in his 'abuse' it was to see if you could keep from laughing. It's as much for toughening as self control.
TheSpartan15
I'm American, and I agree. If I was yelled at like that cobstantly, I'd probably end up leaving.
TheSpartan15
*constantly
EvilErnie
Ironic name, considering you don't seem to have any intestinal fortitude. It's harsh specifically to weed out the weak and worthless.
StarryPlough
Tolerating someone abusing you is what renders you a pretty weak and worthless person
EvilErnie
In the world, yes. Not in this instance. It's a whole different world, and it isn't for everyone.
StarryPlough
It's for oddballs who think being abused is a positive, clearly.
EvilErnie
If you can't handle some harsh language, you aren't worth shit in combat. Simple as that.
StarryPlough
Do enemy combatants attack with verbal abuse?
TheSpartan15
It's less weakness and more not wanting to 've treated like I'm worthless. I get that it's tough, but some of these go overboard. Especially
TheSpartan15
If someone has a mental condition like depression or is suicidal
cdhunt6282
I get where you're coming from, but that's a non-issue. Mental conditions are red flags that would keep you from joining and if you joined
CoyoteTraveller
That seems intentional.
writteninchalk
Apparently Megan Fox is on imgur.
LazerSpacePirate
lol'd so hard
[deleted]
[deleted]
tajanstvenix
Pathetic.
minnowtar
Joke about OPs thumbs. Megan Fix has club thumbs.
allfkingcoolnamesalreadytaken
better fox it then...
Glappyness
Ha!
damnmongorian
http://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xk97h0somoGE80/giphy.gif
lazyhobbit
I regret that I only have 1 upvote to give.
Combatmatt
OP knows
Arguile
Bahahahahahahahaha
thebigtexas
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
merdryn
Savage? Saaavaaage...? Savage.
FuckYourFriday
Sgt Savage.
thatguythatalwayssayssomecontroversialshit
From the THUMBnail I thought this post was about Megan fox
peasantpanda
I'm gonna fucking die hahahaga
whatdoyouknowaboutmytaco
I laughed harder at your comment than I did the actual post. +1.
TicoGuy
Damnit I woke people up with my laugh
ForTheRepublic212th
What? What's her user name
FromDenmarkWithHate
Clubbed thumbs are horrible
surfvvax
Poor girl. If it weren't bad enough that her acting was shit, the discovery of her clubbed thumbs completely buried her career.
ZachsAnomaiy
Three words. Scotty. Star Trek. Clearly it's just her acting that's responsible.
ImGladWeHadThisChat
Can't believe thumbs are that big of a deal. I'd still happily let her jerk me off with those truckasaurus hands.
DoctorWhatsMyNameAgain
How are so many missing your absofuckinglutely savage comment? I laughed harder than Megan would if she could see your tiny little chub.
Techtronic
Shots fired...prematurely
allfkingcoolnamesalreadytaken
you are a pervert. no filthy hand like that touches my super-D.
GrizzlyWicks
Small*
allfkingcoolnamesalreadytaken
you are a small? sorry to hear that.
HINMAN
Can you explain for a friend
FUCKTHISFUCKINGUSERNAMEBULLSHIT
Is this true or are you just bullshitting ?
Tunzaphun
Cmon, man.. you've internetted before, right?
allthegoodnamesrgone
The thumb look at the thumb
docmuteki
http://meganfoxthumbs.com/megan-fox/megan-fox-left-thumb-teeth.jpg