Not much gas left in the tank

Nov 25, 2020 6:14 AM

CptRobotNinja

Views

83477

Likes

3580

Dislikes

84

I've been nursing about 15 years. I've been through some hair situations and I'm no stranger to hard work, but I gotta tell ya this last 6 months has just about kicked my whole ass. Administration in my building has pretty much checked out and stopped answering my calls. We are perpetually under staffed, under supplied and cannot get the support we need from other departments. I'm not as young as I used to be so flip-flopping between shifts to ensure coverage and just physically lifting a lot of these folks unaided because there is no one else to do it is starting to take a physical toll. My back and knees are starting to complain to me pretty eloquently. Ive always been a pretty patient person but I've noticed over the last couple months my temper is almost literally on a hair trigger. This is not helped by the fact that if I don't yell and act aggressively I'm almost completely ignored by staff not working on the unit. I've been doing this long enough to recognize burnout when its taking a dump on my chest. I know I need a break, and I probably need to be cycled off the unit so someone fresh can step in, but thats not going to happen. I can't in good conscience quit, but I fear the quality of my care is suffering. There is no end to this in sight and Im not sure what to do.

TLDR: Tryna beast mode this shit but my inner wolves are more of a couple mentally challenged geese that kind of need a nap.

Edit: Front page huh? Cheese and crackers. Well I truly appreciate all the kind and encouraging words from everyone. They really have helped to bolster me in a weary moment. To all those telling me to quit or move on, I understand where you're coming from, and in any other situation you would be absolutely correct. Here is how this situation is unique.
1. What I do is sacred to me. It sounds dramatic but there simply isn't any other way to put it. Providing care to the sick is a holy act in my little soul. I can't walk away from that. Me staying is not born of some loyalty to a corporate monolith or delusion that I'm valued by my company. Fuck my company and fuck the people that run it. I stay on for the patients. I can't leave them in need any more than I could leave one of my kids in need. The idea does not compute. It's probably not the wisest or most healthy answer, but it's the only one I have.
2. Make no mistake. This is a singular moment in history. This will be written about after we are all gone. I'm under no illusion that I will be in some history book, but I'll be DAMNED if I reach the end of my life with the knowledge that when the call went out and I had the chance to help I did anything less than my utter best. I will continue showing up to do this job until these old bones wont carry me any more. I will not quit a moment before that. And should I take sick and this is what spends my life, then I'll end my days calling it work well done. This isn't a task I'll walk away from until it's done. When we have a vaccine and this sickness is being managed with success I will take a long rest and be proud of what I did. Until then there is no quit. I may break, but I wont quit.

Again thank you everyone for your kind words, your concern and your guidance. All of you stay safe, wash your hands, wear your mask, socially distance and enjoy your Thanksgiving.

thats weird, im seeing repubs say this is a nothingburger with 99% survival rate & we should do nothing because they want to go to bars

5 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 3

Do as much as you can , then stop. You don’t owe anyone your sanity, your health or your life. You can walk away he’d held high.

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Honestly, you need to take care of yourself first. I don’t think anyone would look down on you for being burned out from horrid cases.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You CAN absolutely quit. If they're understaffed, that's their problem. Take care of you first.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

ER nurse here. I feel this deeply. Also your TLDR is perfect.

5 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Glad you approve. Keep swinging champion

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

My mom is on an ICU Covid unit at a small hospital. You all are my heroes! Thank you for what you are doing each time you come into work.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I sure hope she feels better soon. We are all rooting for you!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't understand we made the whole claping thing for the nurses why is it not working ?

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Lol oh my God I hate that shit

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Clap clap clap

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 196 Dislikes 3

Damn right

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you OP. I hope once this is all over... You can take a long paid vacation...

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That would be dope as hell

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You can ethically quit. Recharge. You don't owe the hospital anything. I resigned from an ER position in September.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Start onboarding at a new facility this week. They will grind you to dust if you let them do so.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Mismanagement is not your fault. Taking care of yourself is your responsibility. quit while you have a choice.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

My user name is relevant. I agree tho take a break. Nurses are without a doubt the most important part of our medical system.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I cannot know what it is like as a nurse in your position. It is awful that so many professionals like you have such a heavy burden /2

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

placed upon their shoulders. I know it feels selfish, but you HAVE to take care of yourself too. You are just as important as your patients.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

From one nurse to another, I feel your struggle. The guilt of taking a break will eat you up, but you’re the top priority. Take care.

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup. True Is why I work as home nurse. I can scream/ sing in my car. Those little breaks really help between patients. And fresh air ...

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

GET OUT!!! You really don't want to work yourself into a burnout. It's good to care about others, but care about yourself first.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Can't even imagine how frustrating and difficult all this is for healthcare workers. People don't take it seriously and you guys have to...

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

clean the mess understaffed and often minimal supplies.

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Take a break before you make a mistake is my boyfriends motto of the past decade in healthcare. Please take time for yourself. The world is

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

not on your shoulders. Then you can get back to doing the important and amazing work you do. You got this!

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You can quit. When faced with the prospect of not having any medical staff they'll start to take things more seriously.

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Not quit but strike, and more “essential” people should be considering it if they value their own health

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you work in a hospital or some sort of place that takes care of ppls health, you do that because you care. It's not .. (1/2)

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

in our blood to strike or quit when other ppls live are on the line. Try to take care of yourself op. You're doing great work. (2/2)

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hospital admin will just bring in travel nurses then, all while ironically paying them more than the staff nurses make

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

except they're all having a very hard time finding them.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1) I'm a Travel Nurse who's been working with COVID since the beginning then ended up getting it last month. PM if you wanna talk about

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

2) anything. I know how frustrating it can be, especially being understaffed with no support. Hang in there and do what's best for you. You

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

3) can't give your best to and for the patients when you can't do the same for yourself. Best wishes!!

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hang in there @OP. You're truly a hero

5 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 5

"Hang in there" lmao how is this gonna fix their situation. No, OP will feel better once they care for themselves

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Better to help fight for improved working conditions for nurses, in a political/social way than to give them a standing ovation

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Fucking this. We need a strike, or nothing will change. Don’t call me a hero, and then not pay me enough to live alone.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Remember back in April when every essential person was a “hero” and then a whole lot of them died and no one gave a shit?

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

My friend is a nurse and she just took 2 weeks off to isolate and forget about it all for a while.

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Thank you for everything you do. Sometimes you have to tell you conscious to shut up & quit.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Hang in there or try to put yourself in a better situation/work environment if you can. Thank you for all you do, and more “dump on chest”.

5 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 1

So many upvotes but it's like you didn't even read the situation. This nurse doesn't have back up. There's no one to fill those shoes.

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Its becoming a wide spread problem too. Not just nurses, doctors and a good chunk of the allied health professions are stretched thin

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

You gotta go find a therapist....and talk through this...no one should have to have to deal with all this...Thank you for all you do!

5 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 0

I can't make everything better but I can always offer an ear to listen....even if it's just a vent.

5 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Your Imgur dysfunctional family is very much here for you. *Hugs* You're worth it!

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

First off, you're a rockstar. COVID has been hard AF for healthcare people. Secondly, you can't care for others if you don't care for you.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Tell them you need a break. Burnout and PTSD are very very real, especially from COVID. At the very least, stick to your shifts, don't flip

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

To ensure coverage. I know you care for the patients, but they're the hospitals patients, not yours. Try and leave work at work <3

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Let's look for positives here, OP. At least your knees are eloquent - mine swear at me in a very brutal and loud fashion.

5 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

My spine is like those rice crispy dwarves

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

v

5 years ago | Likes 244 Dislikes 1

Good call

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OH MY GOD THE LEG KICKIES

5 years ago | Likes 100 Dislikes 0

Someone having a rough time and you comment this...good job Captain

5 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

the cookies are movin’

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Words cant heal the body but, I know this. But Thank You. I hope those words can help heal the mind. Thank You.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

If there's one thing Covid has revealed to me (that I already kinda knew anyway) it's how little of a fuck many (1/2)

5 years ago | Likes 313 Dislikes 1

governments give about healthcare and the people working in that field. Like education, it is a low priority, and it's disgusting. (2/2)

5 years ago | Likes 290 Dislikes 1

This! Fought them for years. They have unlimited resources and time to fight me. I’ve just thrown in the towel after 33 years ER.

5 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Thank you for trying

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ive been a pretty outspoken advocate for Healthcare reform for a long time and this pandemic has put our systems failings on pitiful display

5 years ago | Likes 140 Dislikes 0

I know health care professionals struggle to do this because they genuinely care. But the best way to send a message is getting out!

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You can, in good conscience, quit. There r no rules. You need to take care of yourself 1st. Do not give your entire life. Youve given enough

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The system was failing prior to covid. It is only still functioning due to sheer will power of the line workers.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As an doc who's spent time on Covid detail, bail. They'd replace you in a heartbeat +forget about you if you died or long term issue 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

You've done your fair share/tour, they will use you up. Its just what they do to us. This will get worse unless you pull the eject button2/2

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I agree it's certainly going to get worse. You stay safe doc. You're nurses that are worth a damn depend on you.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Until one of their own desperately need emergent care, then the chopper lands in the front yard....

5 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

And pumps them with any experimental drug unavailable to anyone else

5 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

While being treated by 10+ doctors at once. While the common folk rarely sees any doctors at all while in a hospital.

5 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Actually my government is using healthcare staff being overworked as one of the reasons to stay locked down. Reminding the population

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

that if the hospitals are overloaded, people can't get treatment for cancer and the likes. It's nice having leadership that is logical.

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Don't let others guilt you into not taking a break. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

5 years ago | Likes 1045 Dislikes 2

This! You may make a mistake because you are tired.. and that won't help anyone. It's fine to rest doesn't mean your a quitter/ bad person.

5 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

There are no replacements. Taking time off means coworkers work short. Patients go without. More mistakes are made.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It’s difficult for a person in the caregiving field (health & education) to think of their own well-being. We aren’t wired that way.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

We purposely trained not to think that way. We have all this focused training on ‘resilience’. Which translates to shut up and put up

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Exactly. No one is guilting us into not taking breaks. Knowing our coworkers are short when we're gone is guilt enough.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Cheap labor never breaks

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

they break, its just that no one notices when they're replaced

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Like I said, it never breaks

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Yeah, and burning out is not something you come out of quickly. I've had colleagues that have problems months and years after they (1/2)

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

.. were able to even come back to work. They've had e.g. persisting memory problems and sleeping problems. Don't risk your health, please.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah, that's rule number 1, @op.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nothing will change until healthcare workers just leave and let thousands die

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

People are living like there are no consequences to their shitty actions as they spread disease like crazy

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A break? There is no one left at these units.

5 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 33

You might even say that they're criminally understaffed

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Then call the media on the way out and place the blame on the administrators

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The only type of break left is a mental one :/ Good luck @op ! Don’t let yourself get to that point

5 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Well, it will happen sooner or later anyway

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Quick question. Do you prefer giving a person one week off, or having them burn out and being unable to work any more?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Question, do you prefer to have your coworkers work short and take twice the patient load, or keep soldiering on?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

These hospitals dont. Have. Nurses. If you call out, someone gets called in. The float pool is empty in many hospitals 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The amount of people treating this like a "big bad administration" issue are ludicrous. Many nurses have left the profession this year 2/3

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And the burnout isnt just lack of breaks. Its because hospitals arent designed to be at full capacity for 7 months a year.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's the issue. If nothing is done to prevent preventable burnout the numbers will drop more. Sometimes you have to do harm to do good.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ok so do what?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you call out, no one else gets called in. I have NICU RNs working as NAs right now.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Right! In some floors/hospitals they have on calls as required and those have become guaranteed shifts.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Take a break. Switch into a different unit. Or honestly, home nursing is gonna be needed a lot more in the next couple weeks.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

From experience, you will be used until broken and then discarded as no longer useful. You have a right to mental and physical wellbeing.

5 years ago | Likes 254 Dislikes 0

That’s a fact

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

^this! Fucking this!

5 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

"America fuck yeah" /s. Sadly this is how we do it. Every worker. Out medical professionals have always been understaffed and

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Under supplied. This pandemic is adding to the shit load they already deal with.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The machinery of capitalism is oiled with the blood of the workers

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I can’t advise you but I can say as an ex Covid patient thank you from the bottom of my heart I now get to see my grandchild when it’s born

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That right there is why I keep coming in. So glad you are feeling better and getting to enjoy those moments.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Again from the bottom of my heart thank you I was in Glasgow royal uk but you’re all doing great work worldwide, hope you manage time off

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

When is the grand baby due?

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sorry just went back and saw this it’s due in July I think not sure I think she’s only6/8 weeks gone

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sorry thanks for asking

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0