Octo has the sads

I've known to be one with extreme emotions. The thought of it to be somewhat of a mental disorder worries me.
The person who promised to not leave me and to help me out of this state dumped me because "I'm holding him back from moving forward" but of course he "wanted to see me happy on my own in all that I do".
My own effort to have a 'better' opportunity in my field got cut short when I was told the application for the desired masters program has been unsuccessful
The boss "doesn't know what your job description is" and doesn't know "where I can put you so there is no further plans to promote you".
I smile so much on the outside but the sociable-laughing-organised-in-control-disciplined me spirals downwards to be one who sleeps for long hours and wants to be in a dark room away from everyone all the time.
I'm in debt; stretching out whatever money I have in hand. No assets to my name. and feeling very out. I cannot do this anymore.
I'm tired. I don't want sympathy. I want help.