KittensForever
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222
Comics from the Oatmeal http://theoatmeal.com/comics
Mar 24, 2016 11:57 AM
KittensForever
147258
7234
222
Comics from the Oatmeal http://theoatmeal.com/comics
CFBEvilEmpire
I love every bit of this.
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
Best Experience: Paid for coach middle seat on NY->LA flight day after Thanksgiving. Overbooked and I was inexplicably moved to 1st.
KantHang
I was 10, flying alone on a small plane, and flight attendant said, "we need some volunteers to move to the back to assist with take off"
renakunisaki
"Alright, get out and push!"
ufosundercover
The whole fucking can, man.
corneliusgansevoort
I've actually had the "is anyone on this flight a doctor?" on two separate flights. The sick passengers survived AFAiK.
RegaIRegina
Child in the row behind me as we were taking off. You could watch the speed climbing, we hit ~170, you hear "are we gonna get pulled over?"
ladyjigglebutt
That's adorable
Hfpros
If you broke the sound barrier while on an airplane, you would 100% know it.
Aerolfoz
Since you have to be flying a fighter jet, yeah. No idea if you can nap through it on commerical jets, they limit them since Concorde..
Aerolfoz
As in design, there is no aircraft like Concorde because of accident. Stupid, since it was better in every way.
kurokin
Prettier, too. The Concorde was beautiful.
PrincessBride1
I think my scariest was taking off at DFW the day after Delta Flight 191 crashed. Pilot goes "And on your left, you'll see the wreckage"
labratlet
Scariest moment on a plane; smelling smoke and a panicked flight attendant saying they didn't know where it was coming from.
retgarr
The engine ingesting a bird can do that.
labratlet
They figured out it was one of the fans, and turned it off.
Nabashin
Oooo, attendant should've super calmly said she'd find out but it's probably nothing. Way to start a panic huh.
ruferto
i remember when you used to get real silverware on airplanes... in Coach!
khora
Not just simple steelware. Silver!
PrincessBride1
Me, too. And actual plates.
Idriveboats
I'm in an airport about to fly. Thanks.
YodasLeftEar
check the landers
keyblader1985
We got you fam
JoseJoeForLife
I used to be a flyer, then I took an arrow to the knee
BeardedCoach92
Flying tomorrow woohoo
FaptainDeadpool
Driving boats at the airport? Noice.
twohearteddoctor
This makes no sense
FaptainDeadpool
Are you saying that... the username.. doesn't... CHECK OUT?!
StrawberryBubbleGum96
I, however, heavily appreciate your username
FaptainDeadpool
Thank you, SexOnLegs3996!
twohearteddoctor
I just saw the username take my upvote
analbinosquirrel
Our plane dropped about 2000 ft in 5 minutes while shaking horribly over Greenland. Two luggage compartments cracked, pants were shit.
ImTheGoddamnBatwoman
Flight to FL 2 days ago. Woman had 3 kids screaming and running up the aisle for 2 hours. I asked her to control them. She said (1/2)
ImTheGoddamnBatwoman
"They're fine. They're just kids". I said "And you're just a parent. A bad one". It felt so good. (2/2)
ifmusicbethefoodofloveplayon
And the flight attendants did nothing??
GandalfTheTartan
Scariest moment? When the cabin panel I was sat next to split open mid flight:
retgarr
Eh, not structural.
AlkeneThiol
That's just the gremlins trying to get in. Nothing to be alarmed of, sir.
ToxicPineapple
It's nothing to worry about. They're there to conceal wiring and insulation. Purely cosmetic.
GandalfTheTartan
Might be so, but at 30,000 feet it was ruddy cold for the next 9 hours.
cretzloff
I'm sure it was loud too
thegriffin88
Anyone else watch Air Disasters? Because I'm fucking addicted to that show.
FartyPoopster
I watch Mayday or Air Crash Investigation. It IS addicting. Never mind that it fuels my fear of flying...
jopa29
Pilot once said after a flight was delayed 20 mins, that he would "fly the plane like he stole it, to ensure an on time arrival." Not wrong.
DaveyLD
50 feet off the deck pilot pulls emergency lift off because another plane was suddenly on run way. 50 degree angle, max thrust,circle around
chandler17
YES! that happened to me as well! terrifying! it was at Charlotte airport!
MasterOfShenanigans
Flying back from Sydney to LA with an empty seat next to me was paradise. I never thought I'd be so lucky.
maniacalmustacherides
Flew Dallas to Tokyo with a whole three seats to myself, plus a window. Paradise
MasterOfShenanigans
So you're the legend we all talk about at the gate.
maniacalmustacherides
It is I. There was even a baby behind me and it didn't cry. It was some weird flight karma. Like skymiles but real
stoots24
Once while landing, the plane suddenly veers back up at the last second - there was a plane on the runway we were going to land on...
jonestown
happened to me once in Denver. I was amazed how quickly the plane climbed out of there
kecker
Runway incursion. Be happy to know your flight caused enough paperwork to choke a donkey.
jjb926
One time on a flight that was almost empty we did a dance off in the aisle, then did Bohemian Rhapsody sing along.
ConductorOfTheStruggleTrain
1) My flight was landing in D.C. and a strong wind RIGHT when we were about to land turned the plane almost sideways and the pilot corrected
murlokotam
Watch "cross wind landings" on youtube. The pilot turned it, not the wind.
ConductorOfTheStruggleTrain
Well it wasn't a turn. It was a roll I guess. The left wing went down and the right wing went up.
ConductorOfTheStruggleTrain
2) almost immediately and landed perfectly. Everyone was so shocked for like 5 solid seconds and then started applauding.
LauraXxexplorer
Was it from colorado? Cause that happened to me last year lol
hngfbvf
That's actually what they do in a crosswind. They fly the plane sideways into the wind and then straighten it right at the last moment.
hngfbvf
Takes a whole bunch of skill, because the plane tries to roll when it rotates, and you can slam a wing on the ground if not careful.
ConductorOfTheStruggleTrain
I guess what I meant is that the plane rolled. The left wing went down toward the ground and the right wing went up really fast.
hngfbvf
So in fact you witnessed the pilot almost fudge-up a crosswind landing, and catch it back at the last moment.
PotatoesPotate
#1 That passenger had to have been me. I'm used to flying frontier where you get a particle board chair and nothing else.
ketochris
Just flew Virgin for the first time and really loved it.
Rox2
Frontier used to be a really good airline years ago. Sucks to see them go down the shitty ULCC route.
corneliusgansevoort
"Holy smokes, real seatbelts! Look! ACTUAL REAL SEATBELTS HONEY!"
Leithoa
"And we don't have to share a life vest! They went all out!"
PoindexterQMantan
So you fly AA too?
PotatoesPotate
Flying United to ATL in May. It was actually cheaper than Frontier. Haven't flown with them in years though. We'll see how it goes.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
Yeah, Frontier used to be cool. They had fresh-baked cookie ovens. Cookie ovens! Every time I fly them they're worse off.
Manzellina
Haha omg I just travelled on my first Frontier flight today. Glad I didn't even have that second carry on. They're all about extra charges.
IamRiverSong
Just flew with them a week ago. You get what you pay for. That's why I upgraded for the better seats!
DatAsshley
I did that a couple weeks ago from Orlando to Las Vegas and back... I'm definitely paying for AA, Delta, or United next time.
PotatoesPotate
It ends up being about the same as other airlines if you check a bag or carry one on. I'd rather fly elsewhere for the same price.
IamRiverSong
Usually yes but, this case it was still cheaper to fly frontier. $200 vs the $400 I'd pay anywhere else.
chandler17
as someone with an irrational fear of flying, they should totally convince us the pilot is the champ of champs!
trappedinaburningbuilding
I'm doing my first flight w/o spouse in many many years on Saturday. Over an ocean. Puke bags at the ready....I already have anxiety poos.
chandler17
aw. sorry, dude! i don't get physically ill. it is all in my head.
retgarr
Try looking at a person who looks relaxed. "They do this a lot and they seem just fine"
chandler17
have tried it all, love. :)
retgarr
Yeah, I figured. Xanax or whiskey?
chandler17
hahaha! actually Diazapam and Gin & Tonics!
Breaukun132
I don't really think being afraid of being 30,000 feet in the air inside a giant metal tube is totally irrational.
mcretso
Despite everything that *could* go wrong with a plane, it's significantly safer to fly than drive.
kurokin
Thing is, you have much better chances surviving a car accident than an airplane accident.
mcretso
Not necessarily. Unless two planes collide in flight or you plow into the ground, survival rates are pretty good.
chandler17
spot on!
enicchi
Same :( I always chant to myself that the pilot and staff have family too, and want to be home safely as well .-.
chandler17
agreed.
Thatonebandguy
Well technically they are. In order to even start flying in an airline, you need at least 1000 hrs for a restricted ATP 1500 hrs without.
PrincessGlitterCunt
I was getting disability assistance from an airline and they locked me in a kids playpen because they didn't know where else to take me.
reijigin
I had to fly with disability assistance for the first time recently and it was such a fucking nightmare. I thought I already knew how 1/2
reijigin
fucked people were in dealing with people with disabilities before, but airlines set new standards for all kinds of humiliation I guess. 2/2
PrincessGlitterCunt
This so much. It was my first time flying too!
reijigin
Ugggh I'm sorry that happened to you.
runningwithsandwiches
As a flight attendant, please just be patient and have manners. That's all I ask.
MissingLia
Tbh I hate flight attendants, not because of any personal reasons but because the only one I know ruined my best relationship
lulurafa
That's not a valid reason to dislike anybody. Don't base your opinion of a group of people on one asshole.
Professorsmartbrain
No can do slurms.... No can do.
DAMMITSTOPSTEALINGMYFAVORITEUSERNAMES
I always sleep on flights. And you guys wake me up to ask me if I want a drink...
nzey
Please realize my leg might slip into the aisle a bit when i fall asleep, and avoid waking me by slamming the cart into my knee.
Cerosil
Lovely comment :)
runningwithsandwiches
Literally the only fun part of my day is that right there
eetsumkaus
come on, you gotta give them SOME joy in life...
runningwithsandwiches
No can do
nzey
:(
ImFrank
You won't break the sound barrier in a commercial aircraft.
retgarr
Hopefully*
GetOffMyLawnYa
Not since the accident.
eetsumkaus
congratulations, you found the one situation where this is actually relevant
kecker
Ahem, anyone that flew on a Concorde would like to have a word with you.
Aerolfoz
Exactly. After that accident nobody will... bloody shame, just like Hidnenburg murdered airships.
Noughmad
Wow, a time when "Not since the accident" is completely appropriate!
Aerolfoz
Also appropriate for Airships.
retgarr
Very appropriate.
tomyironmane
Not more than once, now that they finally retired the Concorde.
ImFrank
Not with that attitude.
SirElephant
*altitude
Noughmad
*altitude
Cal1te
"23 minutes ago" SONOFA!
ImFrank
Ha. Nice. *high five*
ImFrank
*high fives back*
AllMyFriendsAreWalkers
Did you just high five yourself?
AllMyFriendsAreWalkers
Disregard, you're just having your own little conversation. Sorry for interrupting.
waitwhut
I've been on flights where they don't give you the whole can. :(
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
1st time I was on a plane I was so stoked. "Look at the clouds beneath us!" "FUCK YEAH I want your extra peanuts!" "I GET HOT CHOCOLATE?" :D
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
I was 18.
e363
best I heard was a Mesa Airlines flight from Chicago to Sacramento - super gusty on runway, pilot came over intercom and said 1/2
MyNameIsScotty
LANA!
quanticomd
*LANA LANA LANA LANA LANAAAAAAAA!!!!* *WHAT, ARCHER?!* *DANGER ZOOONE*
PopatoMc
Idk why but i thought the pilot said "1/2"
CaptainRedbeardButOnlyTheBeard
Idk why but i snorted after reading that
DoctorWatchamacallit
2/2 "I used to hit womp rats with my speeder back home and they are not much bigger than two meters"
ExperimentKraj
*bullseye womp rats
Boufus
*in my T-16
JohnnySandwich
Sounds exactly like Mesa.
BlueSpaceLizard
Mesa airlines...is that owned by Jar Jar Binks?
RichCorinthian
Just don't refer to anything as "bombad." They will still tackle you.
biggieslims
Gordon Freeman
Moobbles
My thoughts exactly.
OverlyCynicalImgurian
It's pronounced "Maysa" you're thinking of "Meesa"
DickPicEnthusiast
I'm thinking of "Me so horny, me love you long time"
allywallymackintally
Just went to chipotle, no chicken or carnitas! Sad girl eats a sad meatless burrito. But then I read your comment and it made me comment. +1
BlueSpaceLizard
Worse if he was the captain: 'Moi moi! Hello to you sir passengers! Mesa thinking wesa gonna fly veewy high thisa day! *crash noise* OH NO!'
e363
"are you all ready for a little... *danger zone*?", jacked his iPod into the intercom, and played highway to DZ on takeoff. we all cheered
LeftHandPanda
That would make take offs and landings soooo much better!
zoidburgerandfries
As someone who hates flying, that would have been immensely comforting
pobody
Love Mesa airlines. Hilarious DGAF attitude.
petrichor93
Never expected to see Mesa mentioned on imgur. My dad's been a pilot with them for 15ish years.
Luvvie
Maybe it was your dad that flew e363 lol
BlueSpaceLizard
Ha ha! For real though?
e363
yeah. we were all stupefied and in awe. it was a little embrear jet so not very many ppl on, but everyone enjoyed it afaict
DaShaka9
It's the Internet, you bet your ass it's real.
ICallPeoplesBullshit
That guy said it so I think for real
BlueSpaceLizard
Can't fault that logic.
wackywoohoopizzaman
LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
r000t
WHAT?!
wackywoohoopizzaman
Danger zone! Wait wait! THIS IS IT!
howyahowyahowyadoing
The best think I've experienced on a flight was seeing all three babies that sat around me actually slept the entire four hour flight.
TheManYourManCouldSmellLike
I'll take "Things that never happened" for 1000, Alex.
thegrantgrant
Benadryl my friend Benadryl
walterpeck
Can I retroactively trade out one of them for the screaming baby I had to deal with from Tokyo to Denver?
xtrance
Those parents know their baby medicine
princefTANX
My gramma and I got upgraded from economy to business class for a 9 hour flight. That was a good day
BlueSpaceLizard
I was flying home once and hadn't had time to eat so was eff'n starving. Got served a meal that I thought was complimentary 1/2
BlueSpaceLizard
2/2 But it turns out they got the seats & orders mixed up, so I got some lifesaving nourishment for free :)
TheTurboToaster
Best thing i've had was a flight with six people going to Sacramento. Flight attendants just constantly played Metallica over the intercom.
460Handcannon
Try being behind the bulkhead(where they put people with parasites) on a 9 hour flight with 4 babies in front of you. And didnt here a peep.
FrostyPhoenix
I was on airplane and there was 3 baby's and 2 dog around me and they made no sound, I thot it's was gonna go great but then some... (1)
FrostyPhoenix
(2).. Fat guy started to fart uncontrollably and I almost puked. That's my horrible airplane story. Lol
Tokcen
As a 16 month old baby I slept for virtually 19 hours straight on a plane. All the other parents looked at my mom like she'd drugged me
GoogleFucker
Ah, children's benadryl
WisdomPlaytime
I tried children's benadryl on my son. Made him hyperactive. Adult benadryl has the same effect on me.
ladyjigglebutt
My last flight someone saw me giving some to my daughter in the terminal and high-fived me. She did indeed sleep for the whole flight.
GoogleFucker
I would too!
amariokartnameddesire
I was surrounded by a symphony of 4 screaming babies on an 8 hour transatlantic flight. It was death.
kaahaaz
My scariest one was to discover that there were 4 babies around me.
Elonth
worst thing i experienced. i'm going home for spring break. about 12 other students are on the flight are friends. they sang (1/2)
Elonth
"i'm coming home" almost the entire flight. except they didn't know the lyrics so they just sang "i'm coming home" over and over again....
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
i was flying once where there was a middle school girls sports team that had never flown before. So everything meant lots of screaming. 1
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
2 they were excited (I think) about landing, but from all the screaming, I was convinced the plane was going down and I was going to die
HillariT
I sat behind a baby in a 5am flight, he was silent, but his mother talked the ENTIRE flight home =(
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
Babies usually aren't bad unless you have to go high to get over mountains or around weather. Then their ears don't pop and they lose it.
MelanomaCanSuckATurd
Thanks, Obama...I mean baby benedryl.
HughWattmeight
When we first flew with our baby, I had brought a bag of ear plugs that I handed out to all seats in the vicinity. Baby slept the whole trip
AugustusWest
I've done the same thing. A lot of people said, "No, thanks." I gave an are you sure look.
highteck9
They gave those babies something before hand.
Wimpymind
roofies do that
aRareBear
Flew with my son when he was 2 months and 3 months. He only cried once when he needed a diaper change. Then slept.
KittensForever
That is really lucky!
OdeToBouncer
The Miracle of UA 981..
10000Bees
When I was flying home earlier this month I sat behind a woman with a 9-month-old baby. We played through the seats the whole flight :)
wackywoohoopizzaman
Congrats, that's like winning the lottery while meeting the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot!
howyahowyahowyadoing
The trick was spiking the milk with Benadryl.
BobaFettisLove
And the Skunkape!
SloMoHippo
and the Loch Ness Monster is giving you threefiddy
Spinzaku
You keep chloroform handy I see..
FrankTheCube
I had one across the aisle from me on a six hour flight once. She was fine, it was her 4 year old brother that was a little shit head.
fattyontheinside93
Why don't people just expect babies to be on every flight and bring headphones?
Dominiricanish
I had a baby cry for the entire 14 hour flight to China. Just in case you misunderstood and thought most of the flight. No the ENTIRE FLIGHT
sonicpet
And I thought my 7 hours were bad.. :/
JonesEnemaBagJones
On my flight home from London there was a family on the right who let their 2-yr-old play iPad games without headphones (she still cried) 1
JonesEnemaBagJones
& a woman on the left who forced her son to sit on her lap w/ no toys or books, so naturally he screamed the ENTIRE flight. Fun. 2
Vident99
We must be related somehow or something. I can't even take a buss without "scoring" the crying infant. Every. Single. Time!
cayliebee
I had that happen when I flew from Australia back to Toronto.... 16 hours is a long fucking time
Kelsoo
This happened to me on my flight to London. In business class seats too.
NinjaGrizzlyBear
Should've drugged that poop factory
toxicomanie
You mean rich people don't muzzle their children? For shame.
Kelsoo
I flew standby using my friend's flight benefits, so i was just lucky.It would have been nice to not have the demon throwing things though.
DerpyWerm
I am of the opinion that children aren't much smarter than dogs and should be kept muzzled and on a leash until they're well-trained
FirstPostMcGee
Flew from Singapore to LAX with the parents of 10 newly adopted baby girls. Worst. Flight. Ever.
Sklrr
I was on a flight with my dad and a baby was crying the entire flight, and the mom did all she could to try to calm the baby down (1/2)
Sklrr
Some guy stands up and yells "will someone shut that fucking baby up?" My dad jumped out of his seat and went to destroy the guy (2/3)
Sklrr
The guy apologized and sat back down. I was scared
SaintMaceToTheFace
You tell your dad he is a good man.
CrapBaskets
On large aircraft the only way to know if the landing gear is down is to do a fly. Most do not have any way to check.
retgarr
Other than the lights. And it's exactly the same on most small planes with retractable gear
hcrooney2012
Even on small aircraft you need to do fly-bys.
Lars11290
They have indicators to see if the gear is up & locked or down & locked
Lars11290
It's going to get double inspection by 2 differant people and even after that the supervisor may choose to inspect it if he so chooses.
dpidcoe
Chances are that the indicators are indicating the gear isn't down, hence the flyby to see if the indicators are just playing a prank.
kecker
And indicators have been known to be faulty. If you're unsure, do a fly-by.
Lars11290
Like torque value, make sure its at the correct angle and if its part of the critical components (engines, flight controls and landing gear)
Lars11290
If your indicators are faulty then where the F do you live. If I have to tighten something simple I have to search for a shit ton of values