BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
77790
1766
52
Jan 27, 2017 11:36 PM
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
77790
1766
52
Yekekekmoyekeyke
#12 is the best one!
JABBATHEWOCKY
Dammit OP! It's "80 sushis" not "80 pieces." That's why it is fucking hilarious...
PhoenixQueenAzula
I heard he ad libbed that one line guys...
Zombier
Burt Macklin. You son of a bitch.
distortedlens
Also, can you bring back Power Rangers? I don't know what it is you do, but you seem important enough to get that done.
ChickWithAnAttitude
The best rat, is Crisp Rat
ICantBelieveThisUsernameIsNotRegistered
MargaretTiger
This single-handedly makes me want to watch Parks and Rec.
PartyPete
You should watch Parks and Rec. Power through the subpar first season, the rest is solid gold.
Woppledorf
Could you people please fix the first one before posting again. He says, "whenever I eat more than 80 sushis". This makes me crazy
GeorgeNotTheLivestock
THANK YOU. I was about to comment the same thing. The 'sushis' part makes it funnier
NapBasturd
The network connectivity one was ad-libbed. Gold.
ElDuderino9
theniddy
Today I made myself happy by watching Pratt outtakes from Parks and Rec. Everyone cracking up, including me :)
therearenotenoughusernames
A game is the foot! We must beat the feet. Or defeet them if you will...
PilotIII
+1 because I'm watching this right now.
Justaguypassingthrough
Pratta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta ta. Sex me so good I go blah blah blah
ricochetbiscuit
nonamejanie
He literally can do no wrong.
chumph
Always up vote crisp rat
TaintJuicer
GreenlsNotACreativeColor
Slap me again, harder. Oh my god I have a boner
MiceElf
He has small nipples.
BodaciousPony
I noticed that as well... Still hot though
myroseon
Danmanbadman
What is the other 98%
therearenotenoughusernames
I'm supposed to be sleeping, but instead I googled what is the other 98%. The 2% is milk fat, the rest is skim milk source below 1/2
therearenotenoughusernames
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-whole-milk-and-2-percent-milk
PartyPete
Spiders.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Danmanbadman
Feeling pissy tonight?
ImOPsMom
Deleted?! Now we'll never know!
Justaguypassingthrough
It can be water-ver you want it to be.
yomancs
theirs a guy at my work who says hes allgeric to paint hes all like "whenever i paint i get a headache" did you wear a gas mask bro?
6seasonsandamovie
*there's
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
Is his name Andy?
TransistorRadio
You're supposed to wear a gas mask when you paint?
yomancs
when its industrial paint that has to painted in a paint booth for ventalation than yea
PartyPete
#4 might be the best joke in any sitcom.
PoppinLochNessHopster
The first few times I saw this reposted people were saying negative things about it because it was stupid for the sake of being stupid
mathswarrior
it isn't...
FragPenguin
It was unscripted, too
Obscurant
It really was brilliant.
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
So good! So hard to believe he's not "Andy" in real life.
Dicho83
Every see an interview with him? He is Andy.
PartyPete
It's not possible to be that dumb and oblivious and have comedic timing that sharp.
cyno01
No, he pretty much is.
cattownxkay
Just look on his snap chat stories.
WalterSobchaksWorldOfPain
It was improvised. The writers were frustrated because he was coming up with better jokes than they could write for the show.
kcufuck
The same writer who plays mose in the US version of the office.
aselleus
Michael Schur!
Mcmcman
Wait really?
PinkSpongebob
Yip
GreatOdensRaven87
That's what she said.
BooToast
eroso
Did you also know that Actors of Kelly and Ryan were writers for The Office.
soyasauce
Also did you know Jim and Ryan went to high school together
aselleus
And Phyllis was the casting director and was a former NFL cheerleader and burlesque dancer
Big8ooty8iches
We know holy why do we bring this up every time
NotAPervert
I didn't know
eroso
Because that's pretty much the only piece of information available about how the joke was born. Duh
TheMaskOfRae
The alien has a point
Big8ooty8iches
The what? Who around here is an alien? Not me obviously.
DeputyChiefJudgeFish
Damn! Sssssuuurree wish there was an alien in this parts. My ass has been naughty and needs a good probing.
OfficialUsernameChecker
Uhhhhh, username is concerning...I don't think it checks out
robsc16
The first one hits home. My father in law asserts that ALL mushrooms are poisonous to a degree. He ate a bunch of fried ones once and puked.
UncomfortableAnswers
Anything is lethal at a high enough dosage.
robsc16
That's true. I told him it probably was because he ate all that fried food. The oil probably upset his stomach more than anything.
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
Haha what a legend. What other wisdoms does he hold?
robsc16
He thinks daddy long legs (harvestmen) are beetles. Trust me, he's not kidding.
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
Can you please do a post with his isms ?
robsc16
I've thought about it. I could do one on the whole family, my wife is the only normal one lol