StupidFingAsshole
60075
3405
11
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
The Return of the King
Jan 23, 2014 5:23 PM
StupidFingAsshole
60075
3405
11
thedavel
Another!
puremind7772
#1 is incorrect. The Uruk-Hai are a magically crossing goblins and orcs. Besides being stronger than orcs, they can also travel in daytime.
Syncroincity
Full backstory in "The Silmarillion"... tough read sometimes, but very informative.
italia06823834
Orcs are not corrupted elves. Tolkien abandoned that idea.
baronvonpatrick
Looking forward to part three, thanks
valomir
where do you get these dataz?
nickromel
first one is wrong
StupidFingAsshole
How so?
DemSumBigAssRidges
Was this written by a stripper?
DemSumBigAssRidges
All kidding aside... We need more of this!
calmchowder
love this! but please please please add a color or an outline to the text or something.
isTHISsupposedTObeHARD
MORE!!!
MikeOfThePalace
Orcs are not corrupted Elves. That was an idea that Tolkien eventually rejected. He never settled on an origin for Orcs that satisfied him.
DeliLlama
Got stuck for 5 minutes on "becomese"...
StupidFingAsshole
I need to learn to proofred.
Stacychan
Lord of the Rings facts makes me happy in the pants..
BewareoftheLeopard
Colbert approved post
demut
What does that mean?
LordSauron
I also approve this post.
SeaFan
For all we know OP is Colbert
DKPRIMUSRETURNS
That is exactly what I thought!
dragontrihard
who would mate with an orc, I mean seriously?!?
Colmarr
orc rape female human
thesneakiestweasel
It's sort of sweet that you forgot that rape is a thing
GooberSnotpants
rule 34?
Dack105
That first one isn't actually confirmed. There are various ideas that Tolkien had concerning the origin of Orcs; corrupted elves on only one
smithenheimer
I thought Uruk-hai were Orcs bred with Goblins......but I'm not sure where I heard that
dominaeleonora
Doesn't Gandalf say in Rivendell (LOTR I) Saruman is crossing Goblins with Orcs...he's breeding an army that can move in sunlight.....
smithenheimer
That's exactly what he says. So now I'm all confuzzled
CraftNasty
It was in the Two Towers...how does everyone else not remember??
CraftNasty
at least you knew :)
williagr
In the book, isn't Orc and Goblin used interchangeably?
smithenheimer
see that's what I thought but it's been too long. I couldn't remember if it was from the movie or the depths of the interwebs
Cantbestuffed
LOTR always get my upvote.
5280lady
And my axe!
Xolarix
Aren't Uruk-Hai a mix of goblins and orcs?
Jennabation
It's heavily implied in the book that Saruman further corrupted orcs by breeding them with Men, giving them resistance to sunlight and such.
lashwater
These are great! More please!
CurseYourSuddenButInevitableBetrayal
TIL. All of it.
itsamazing
the horse and the rider poem is actually based on an Anglo-Saxon poem called The Wanderer that goes Hwær cwom mearg? Hwær cwom mago? --
itsamazing
-- where has the horse gone? where is the rider? you can read it here: http://www.anglo-saxons.net/hwaet/?do=get&type=text&id=wdr
Heroofthefallen
SoIgotthatgoinformewhichisnice
Yeah! A chance to use my favorite upvote gif :)
kaiserdas19
I LOVE THIS
minnow1776
Can we ask questions here? Why doesn't the Ring work on Tom Bombadil?
KFizzle
Because Tombo gives no fucks, he likely predates the Maiar & possibly the Earth itself, so magics created within it can not influence him.
StupidFingAsshole
That's a really good question. I'll add that to my next one even though it doesn't have to do with the movies.
HanSolo312
Umm... The fact of the matter is there is no hard and fast explanation of Tom by J.R.R or Christopher Tolkein so no answer really.
p4riah
MOAR
MoralRectifier
*MOARDOR
thedirtyturd
DOR
KillingTheJoke1
HODOR
PuckHead92
Wrong fandom
psivox
You clever bitch. I Love You.
Zuzab
i've only read the lotr series and hobbit. how is the ring a weapon in a military battle other than it allows one person to be invisible?
StupidFingAsshole
Great question! I'll answer that in my next post.
Zuzab
you rule
sildraug
The power it grants is dependent on either the race or the person, it wasn't clear. With the hobbits, it made them invisible.
TigerTheCat
TIL. this. So, are the hobbits, the only race that become invisible with the ring?
CynicalGDog
According to the movies. No. Isildur tried to use the ring to escape the orcs but it slid off of his finger and he was killed.
TigerTheCat
Thank you, I didn't remember this. Now with the post and the comments I have several excuses to watch the movies again, for research :D
Zuzab
oooooohhhhhhh, gotchya. thanks
Zuzab
makes sense that gandalf wouldnt have freaked out about being offered the ring if it only made him invisible
sildraug
Yeah, getting a part of Sauron's (a fallen maia) essence mixed in with his (a maia) would have probably caused some bad shit.
DougLife7
People mated with orcs?
willywonkasworstnightmare
Alcohol is a hell of a drug
WeAreTheNSA
Theoretically. The origins of Uruk-hai (and orcs, for that matter) is never explicitly stated; it's all conjecture.
KFizzle
Hey, who are you to judge their love, some girls love bad mutant beast men. (Naive lass riding with Orc on horse back, parents left behind)
ohnogodno
I thought it was orcs mating with goblins
ollevonfripp
If I recall correctly, orcs and goblins are the same thing. Goblin is the name for it in the common language.
bigVanilla
It looked to me like they were being dug out of some oozy sacs deep in some orc nursery
crashingrobot
That's only in the film adaptations, in the books it's heavily implied that they are either orcs that have mated with men. (1/2)
crashingrobot
Or orcs made out of corrupted men unlike regular orcs who descend from corrupted elves.
SkaterMcGee
Well I mean it was more rape than anything else, but yes.
FieldMarshallHummus
Can you imagine being raped by an orc? Being Double-Teamed? Gangbanged?
IGetMyAdviseFromAGuyNamedJustFart
Can I get away with a "legitimate rape" joke
capslockadvices
RULE 34 HAPPENED. ALSO IF YOU DARE YOU CAN FIND SOME ON THE INTERNET
RudeDudeInABadMood
I can, however, I choose not to.
MajorAdamska
When I read the Username Skater McGee all I can think of is, Monster Cookie Pinwheel.
SkaterMcGee
The hardest trick in skateboard history, mind you.
MajorAdamska
A monster cookie pinwheel is when you skate up to a locomotives cow catch , you 360 punk buster to the second car,
MajorAdamska
do a lemonade hand stand on the third car, a whipping-post ollie to the fourth car,
khall337
Part 3! Part 3! Part3!
[deleted]
[deleted]
spareseatonmyface
Can someone please explain to my why this is at -6?
erambo
not sure, just trying to help out guess people didn't approve
spareseatonmyface
But you gave exactly what was asked for and got downvoted for it, I've never seen that before?
Tomcruiser
that link is to part 1.
Tomcruiser
that link is to part 1.
Tomcruiser
Wait im wrong, that is the correct link. /shrug
HereticsAllOfYou
Uruk-hai were merely elite orcs bred by Sauron, like the Olog-hai being elite trolls. The first panel confuses them with Half-Orcs.
Macewindow54
ummmm nope, Urk-hai were Saurmon's thing, he kidnapped Rohanan women and made them from orks and SCIENCE, so the first panel isn'twrongrealy
avidatheist
Technically the Black Uruks were also Uruk-Hai.
Macewindow54
yea we hashed this out in pm's you want um?
HommeDeBois
Can I get in on that too please?
Macewindow54
they're not that interesting but sure
avidatheist
Sure, they could make for a good read.
HereticsAllOfYou
Again, that's not Uruk Hai, that's Half Orcs. And Saruman used Dunlendings, not Rohirrim, to make Half-Orcs.
Macewindow54
and I'm going to get out my book now because I'm almost positive that it was science and breeding the made us these orcs that can get suntan
HereticsAllOfYou
It was the "Dark Arts." They were said to be "spawned." Tolkien never explained the details as to how it was done.
Macewindow54
oh yea I do remember about the Dunlanders, but I'm pretty sure that all the Urks came from isangrd which would make them sarumans not surons
HereticsAllOfYou
Only in the movies. In the books Saruman spawned the half-orcs and used them as lieutenants. The books label Uruk-Hai as from Sauron.
Macewindow54
ok, I havent gotten the books yet, but I distinctly remember argon going on top of the wall at helms deep and being like wow Urks.