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OH SHIT IT'S A DOZER
Jan 6, 2014 12:46 AM
558261
4151
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Blackfyre95
This may be a little inappropriate, but that bomb disposal guy looks like Master Chief.
MyDogAndIShareThisAccount
ggg kills himself without killing others
MermaidMansYoungWard
is he throwing the bomb in the trash in the last picture???
thecoolestice
What's he meant to do? Recycle it?
Ironblitz
"The bomb is defused! I'm going to put it into the trash can now. There, the world is safe for another day."
Rockin
MY HERO!!!!!!
idkwthfml
I AM THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH.
brikhouse2
I find it strange they didn't evacuate the neighborhood.
Sunscale
They didn't find anything while investigating the suicide?
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
People investigate suicides where you're from? Someone pops their top off here and they just say he/she was depressed.
TheNamesTalcJamesTalcSpecialAntiCakedayAgent
"yes, just place the bomb in the trash receptacle"
MoxRavager
As cool as it is I would get the hell away from my windows if this was happening.
OMGimaDragon
It's called scizoaffective disorder when someone has symptoms of both diseases
didneypls
I wonder what happens if you fart in those suits...
Kasoni
It smells bad in that suit for weeks... it really doesn't go any where. I feel bad for the next guy to use it.
Stacychan
Damn. Bipolar AND schizophrenia? That poor guy.
catcream
http://img.wtfmeme.com/48-This-is-why-I-love-the-IT-Crowd.jpg
Mermaidit
How about giving your neighbors some privacy. They've been through alot.
AriBoBari
I love Jeremy Renner
GoogleFucker
God, I was about to comment and say "I hope Jeremy Renner's in that bomb suit"
AmbiguouslyPunny
Such an amazing actor and HIGHLY underrated!
TakeAcidAndTeleport
http://imgur.com/1bfq2Nx
jennj72
That's scary and sad at the same time.
Ollindberg
Between pic one and two, did the hurt locker drink a soda and put it on your car?
EarthmanDan
http://imgur.com/Q4Usf8I
StrokeInNam
I resentfully give you my +1... only because i am 9 hours behind and I wanted to comment the same thing...
QuadrilateralEnix
Better than the entirety of The Hurt Locker.
xxMycroftxx
I know this is serious, but I could only think of this gif the entire time I was looking at the pics.
blowlinesfuckdimes
Probably the greatest GIF ever GIF'D
RonSwansonForPresident
It's definitely up there
ireallyneedtogetaname
YES
aus4000
So that's what it's like to be in bomb squad :D
mygoogoomometerisgoingbabies
This is one of the best things I've seen in my entire life
macman507
Hollywood should discover this gif/video and make a movie scene from this.
LaszloPanaflex
Looks like he's going to recycle that bomb
theoldlickaroo
+1 for username!
GuacamoleMoleMolester
Recycle Bin Laden
Lolmarty
He's even dressed in green.
GarrettStopMotion
It is sad how master chief cant find a decent job anymore.
ivegotsoulbutimnotasoldier
bomb squad so environmentally friendly
juanchits
"Phew! That was close... Here's the bomb. Now we get rid of it." *dumps it in the bin*
LaszloPanaflex
Exactly what I was thinking. "Not my problem. Let the garbage man deal with it."
DeadlyRicochet
yay for the environment!
TheUltimateChimera
Imagine three bins labeled "glass, paper, plastic explosive". I wish I had photoshop skills. *sigh
ogurson
My attempt
SamTheBook
Not bad.
theicechinchilla
Good guy bomb team.
pointystick
BULLDOZER! LOOKOUT, BULLDOZER! IT'S A BULLDOZER!
ulrickell
This is exactly what I was thinking!
PTrui
For anyone wondering, these guys are nicknamed Bulldozer in the game PayDay. They are not very nice.
PTrui
Took the words out of my mouth.
ReverendLovejoy
The Hurt Locker: Domestic Edition
ChunkyMonkie
So he put the bomb in the trash? Recycling !
350Zoidberg
Big gulp huh, welp, see ya later.
SpiritBreaker
Thank you, I was looking for a comment about the cup. How did it get there?? So many questions...
112864
schizophrenic ≠ aggressive person
cmcrev
doesn't mean he can't be one either. could still be aggressive. proof - bomb in garage.
BananaSpiceOfLife
They aren't necessarily aggressive, but those diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia can be dangerous. My uncle has that diagnosis.
Cereal247
Not everyone who is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia is dangerous either. Your 1 uncle does not represent the rest of the population...
hizzobbes
Idk if this is bad but my first thought was that I'm glad he took out himself instead of anyone else.
SerialKitten666
To keep himself from hurting others is probably what drove him to suicide :/ Auditory hallucinations, if he had them, can be vicious :(
Veit
People with schizophrenia are much more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.
LordXeras
that...could have been the intention. dunno.
donttouchmepls
This actually makes me feel really sad.
MeArePaige
They didn't evacuate the nearby homes??????! What if that thing blew up!
JackRuby
or at least informed people, I think not informing people would open themselves up to a lawsuit.
MeArePaige
Yeah thats a good point!! What if there were kids playing near the house etc.. Id be PISSED!
borrowedmuffin
I would think they diagnosed the bomb as being too minor to cause issues to surrounding houses. Sometimes panic can cause more damage.
ConspiracyTheory
When government assassins turn rogue it is common practice to claim some type of mental illness. This shows them clearing out his arsenal.
10010100
Im pretty sure this has happened so many times. Like the LSD project MK-ULTRA.
10010100
If you want to watch a video on it go to Youtube and search "Game Theorist Mk Ultra"
kuhraezah
I want to hug you.
AnalFistingIsAReligion
Yay! You're back!
eviscera
HE'S BACK!
Zynith
I thought that this was completely real till I read the replies...
Erebor2488
I read this thinking "This sounds like ConspiracyTheo-hey it is!"
JiskaAndStyk
You're back!
fitlex
Burn Notice as fuck
PeterPanLives
You're back!
ch3burashka
Thanks ConspiracyTheory.
greymouser7
love your name & the movie-esk theories!! no shit! message me more theories, i'd love to here them. yeah i work for the gov, but a subsailor
Yoshiru
but how can assassins be real if asses aren't real?
ILikeToMakeBelieveICanSpeakForeignLanguages
I believe you....
AliceInPunderland
"What the hell, is this tru... ahh you got me again."
LittleAldy
I missed you.
DanNeedsLoveToo
How do you do it man.. how do you sit there, look at a random picture and come up with these amazing comments....
TotallyNotYourCat
You are watching Fringe. Or, Fringe is watching you....
Misformanatee
You're back!!! *sobs with relief*
IamFartacus
You don't know if it's the real ConspiracyTheory. His account could have been compromised and co-opted by the Trilateral Commission.
Misformanatee
I see what you did there, and I like it.
kungfuman
You're back! Hurray!
TooCleverForMyOwnGood
You've been gone for awhile now, how do we know that you are the REAL ConspiracyTheory?
Berrypickerasfuck
They're gonna black bag you with that username and comment.
iabsorbsunlight
Now we're asking the real questions.
HeyCasButt
Agent
I love everything about you.
IndianaChones
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET ME.
godsbathroomfloor
It's clearly just a person with a mental illness who made a bomb. No need to question things we don't need to know.
Flyndaran
It's actually hard to believe someone with bipolar disorder would be meticulous enough to avoid blowing himself up.
CrazyCKCSLady
I was fixing to comment a "no, it's his (her?) Thing. .." but then I saw your username
pencilv3ster
Suuuure. Sweep it under the rug you government agent.
CrazyCKCSLady
And to be honest I think you should comment on every single conspiracy comment
SuperDork42
DO IT, (bundle of sticks)!
Pipecleaner61
Usernames are really living up to themselves tonight :)
guitarplayer5241
strum strum strum. GIBSON 52! FENDER 41! SET, HUT HUT, HIKE! i tried.
SirMisterDudeBroPhD
Mmyes quite. Mostly because of the science brodeo passing through everyone's town simultaneously. (This is hard [that's what she said]) brah
iabsorbsunlight
PHOTOSYNTHESIS
Pipecleaner61
I rest my case.
Gorfo
ConspiracyTheory! You're back! I missed you!
inthemorning
This. You nailed it.
ImTheGuyFromThatThing
O_o
BadKitteh
NOTICE: To everyone, please disregard this user. He has PTSD and may be a danger to people around him.
BadKitteh
Do you have ninja skills? Do you look sharp in a black suit? A complete absence of empathy? Task Force Medusa is currently hiring!
IamFartacus
Why don't they just spike them with mercury like in the olden days?
nicoleaut
I would think they have mental illness because they commited suicide...unless they were actually killed...DUN DUN DUN! (D minor)
Tinfoilhatswork
You're an inspiration.
tyrannoSARAusrex
Is it sad that I find most of your comments completely believable?
howaboutthisonethen
It's only sad if you actually believe them
inthemorning
Only because they're true
MisterWho
What if ConspiracyTheory's account was set up by a secret organization to make us dismissive of real conspiracies?
Berrypickerasfuck
60% of the time, they're true all of the time.
QuadrilateralEnix
He wouldn't post them if they weren't mildly believable.
pencilv3ster
I too find them plausible. I guess thats the point
Fluffytime
Not at all. I'm especially wary after his theory of nsa listening to xbox live chats turned out to be true before it was discovered
temujin9
We have entered that dangerous territory where parody is indistinguishable from reality.
acme64
This is not a parody account
shaxgolgotha
we'll call it... the "danger zone"
privatesnuffy
SOMEONE CALL KENNY LOGGINS
temujin9
Do you want dictators, Lana? Because THIS is how you get dictators!
Dayumdesigners
"It takes the jester to speak the truth" - Abraham Lincoln
maahesmsnsekhmet
But that's the real conspiracy - he posts them to make people think that he's joking, when in reality they're almost all true...
whalevoices
Yay! You're back!
fartharder
Damn, you're good.
OneSmartChicken
Dude you would have loved when they took our/my dad's guns when he went postal. They had to bring a VAN. A VAN. FULL OF GUNS.
pencilv3ster
Story.
varsil
Wait, went postal? Story?
OneSmartChicken
2(fucking enter key) /my mum with two handguns. Mum and I got out and called the police from the park, apparently he got a rifle out of >
OneSmartChicken
Not terribly interesting from outside perspective; postal employee, decided to attack his wife
OneSmartChicken
3 the car, and one of the cops managed to tackle him. And then we spent three hours sitting in the living room watching them take our guns>
OneSmartChicken
4 "for our protection." There's a little more to it but it'd take up a lot of 140 ch posts so. Yeah. Went postal. Postal employees be cray.
pencilv3ster
Dude he was a postal employee that went postal? The irony alone is enough to kill you all.
Chronicle
Isn't it called going postal because this is a relatively common thing for postal employees, making it not ironic? honest question
varsil
Wait, shouldn't he be under arrest, and have them leave the guns so you guys can protect yourselves from the nutter if he's released?
OneSmartChicken
2 too late. And then they wound up giving him the guns and he sold them to pay his lawyer which was a lot of fucking bullshit.
OneSmartChicken
He was arrested, and there were restraining orders and whatnot, and we didn't really realized "hey wait just a fuckin second" until it was>
slong
God dammit, I scrolled before I even realized. I paid bills.
AppiusClaudius
I've missed you! I mean... your comments... yeah.
temujin9
You need to account for wind, next time.
Wylf
Of course you missed him. If you didn't he wouldn't post anymore.
Chove
Every fucking time!
Kobito
Yay, you're back! :D
pehelwan
Godammit where have you been. :'(
BotSeeker
Is this true?
BigDaneYo
Check the username.
pencilv3ster
Lulzing so hard.
hagios
I've missed you and your comments! The world government has missed you with several assassination attempts.
hewhocontrolsthespice
2rjhgkhg
SkyrimIsForTheBoreds
Scary stuff man
Phoxly
As someone who doesn't have a garage, how do you not see a bomb in there for six months?
vanella
...pretty obvious you don't have a garage lol (Garage is code for: "I might need it later, so I'm not throwing it out yet"-place)
LaszloPanaflex
Clearly they aren't doing their government-mandated weekly bomb searches as all garage owners are supposed to.
statutoryape
Quite a lot of people don't actually park cars in there and end up using it for storage instead, stuff like Christmas lights, infrequent use
TheDogInThePicture
When was the last time you stuck your head behind your dryer looking for fire hazards? Your problem is easier.
shadowlev
I don't know what half the stuff in my garage is. Shit, there could be a bomb in there.
beetchkumate
I've made a bomb before (recreationally of course). You can make them look like other things you know... Its not hard.
meowzedong
Recreational Bombs-- sounds like a good band.
BrassKicker
But can you dress it up like a pretty lady
beetchkumate
how did you know?
Morella
It probably took his parents a while to want to go through his stuff at all, and I imagine rooms like his bedroom took priority.
ivegotsoulbutimnotasoldier
shit gets cluttered ok
SweetBabyJesusBaconFlavoredNutellaMountainDewApplePieMooQuack
I'll just set this tool on the workbench, 20 tools later...
TheVoicesInYourHead
Hell, my parents have a 4 car garage with so much crap in it that there is a car in there they haven't seen in 6 months.
dogapult
can I have the car?