MrsNitro88
49490
2156
87
Jul 19, 2016 12:47 AM
MrsNitro88
49490
2156
87
thethingsgopop
Upvotes just for the title!
PolarChi
I've been with my husband over 5 years & married for 2 of them...all of these crack me up!
DefenestrationAssistant
+1 for the title, and for roughly half of these being funny
samsonguy920
If you reached down here, congratulations. You just discovered a lot of people read way too much into tweets like these. Way too much.
OopsPoops
The cheese and crackers one is my marriage. If I knew she would want some, I would have bought a third wedge of brie.
kmcj22
Reminds me of my father, I should repost his statuses. #WinterOfRon
ornjsicle
I just feel so sad for these people.
Justanotherdingdongdiddlydoobergoober
Yes they're jokes. Yes they all have some truth to them. Yes I'm gonna stay single because of this post. No its not really cuz of this post.
Captainplanetmotherfucker
Joking aside, people like us have been on the outside looking in for so long, we see the nasty bits that makes it all so off-putting.
Tortasaure
This is y I need a person lol
Aaronb1138
#1 I should start doing with my sister. She has 3 kinds of arrhythmia, and that's close enough to true.
LoveAnew
Nice title reference. My sister quoted that my brother's wedding. It was awesome.
therewilbefun
Hysterical! Thanks for putting these together
TomHaywood95
I'll be honest, I still don't understand this one.
mimomisu
Never be eager to clean up too much or you end up doing it all by yourself eventually. Like me. Sigh
aleister94
I'm so lonely
oo0ORB0oo
That is ok. Better than 10 to life.
xemilyrose
right? posts like these only prove to me how much i want to be married, as weird as that sounds.
Musubi626
...still on toilet... Send help... Feet are tingling
rdh57451
Finally, another who struggles with 20 minute long imgur shits..
DJTrickyM
Work, toilet, school, in bed. Fucking imgur all day
littlemissshutterbeer
This excites and scares me. I don't know if I can handle marriage. I can't even handle my bf eating more slices of pizza than me.
samsonguy920
That's why you put on half the one thing he is allergic to.
kmcj22
I feel bad when I eat 75% of the supper, especially when she cooked extra for lunch leftovers...
ObiSeanFlurNobi
Because all men are stupid and lazy and all women are bitchy and overbearing.
moemyer
I used to think I was a special snowflake until I got married. All our fights are straight up sitcom style stereotypical bullshit.
migratedcoconut
My wife and I laughed pretty hard at most of these. Being able to poke fun at yourself is important.
Nujako
Seriously. It was funny the first few times but it becomes sad when it's always falling back on these tired stereotypes.
aleister94
It's just a joke dude chill
Emika22
Because generalizations are funny! Let's try some based on race and religion next!
PuppyDontCare
Come on... its funny
zeronopes
My husband is lazy and stupid and he is also bitchy and overbearing. Sometimes I feel I'm married to a manchild teenage dramaqueen.
zeronopes
But I'm still bitchy and stubborn and sometimes lazy lol!
ZachsAnomaiy
Are you my mom because that sounds like my dad
zeronopes
Jason?
chickenoodlesoup
As a bitchy and overbearing woman married to a stupid and lazy man, can confirm (just kidding, he's not stupid or lazy)
ObiSeanFlurNobi
As a bitchy overbearing man married to a stupid lazy woman, I agree.
PintoRagazzo1
But are you bitchy and overbearing?
chickenoodlesoup
At times (probably more often than I'd like to admit), I can definitely be bitchy and overbearing.
PandraPierva
I kept reading this whole convo as itchy and overbearing...
SherMattLockSmith
#2, OMFG! not so much the marriage, but the realization two weeks later that the cool hoodie I bought for 3$ has an anti abortion slogan..
SherMattLockSmith
Literally been wearing the comfortable ass hoodie for three weeks, got it for 3$. Washed it, saw some lettering, read it...
SherMattLockSmith
It said "pray the abortion away"..... fuck my life.
samsonguy920
Some clever and careful work with a sharpie can make that really awesome.
avervetmonkey
My uh friend wants to know what you'd alter the text to. I'd explain but you'll probably do a better job of it... Ahem.
samsonguy920
Slay the emotion away