Sorry for the feels - I need support right now, Imgur

We had quite the life together.

We went through so much. You were there for me through so many hard times and through so much good. Through all of the things I had no one else for, through all of our moves, and more moves when I needed to move across the country for work. You were always there lovingly and diligently by my side. You let me care for you and your special needs with ease - It may have been extra work, but I didn't consider you a "special needs" cat, or rather I don't like the term - it makes me feel like you were a burden on me and you weren't in any way, shape, or form. I miss taking care of you and your needs every day.

We grew up together.

We grew together, you faster than me of course. Our bond was so strong so fast, and it only became stronger over the years. I never could've believed that I'd have you for so long - but I never thought much about it either. I think that's why losing you has hit me so hard. Something inside just never let me believe you wouldn't be here some day. The logic in me knew, but my heart wouldn't let me believe it. My heart loved you too much to bear the thought of you not being here with me.

We made eachother so happy.

I know how happy you made me. I can't help but believe I made you happy too by that little smirk I was able to get from you so often. I love you, Rowdy. I miss you so terribly much.

The Rowdy at his finest.

Your perch/stance of dominance. I love it. I miss it. I miss you.

You'll forever be memorialized/remembered in a video game.

You are one of a kind, and I'm so glad that others were able to see that. Being able to visit your NPC version is painful - I won't lie... but it does bring me comfort.

I miss everything about us.

My pillow feels so empty without you. For all these years, I had trained myself that they were made for two (or at least a cat, and a human).. and now it's just me. Sleeping is so hard without you.

Vexie misses you - She sleeps in your spots (most of them anyway).

Understanding.

Vexie put her head on your box for a while when I first brought it home. This is when she finally stopped looking for you all of the time. Sometimes she still seems to, but it's rare, and doesn't go on for as long. She's more comfortable sleeping in your spots now, and she's picked up quite a few habits from you (like screwing with the blinds) - but the best part is that she has no idea why she is doing it half the time. You always had a reason for everything you did.

I get to hold you forever. I Kiss you goodnight every night.

I was able to get an exact impression of your paws tattooed on my wrist. It brings me comfort more often than anything else. I'm happy to have something that I will never regret, and will always remind me of the thing that meant more to me than anything in this world ever has.

I have a shelf completely dedicated to you and your box, pictures, flowers, etc. I kiss you goodnight every night just like I did when you were still here. But it's so much more painful than before, but I can't bear not to do it.

I hope you like the flowers.

I can't help but buy you flowers every Sunday/Monday - since that's when you passed. 2:16am Monday morning, January 6th 2014. They bring me some comfort.

Shadow Box #1

It'd been killing me that I had some things since you passed and had not done anything with them, so this past week I did something with them. I put together some shadow boxes with some of the things that mean the most to me and the things that they gave me when you passed. I think they turned out okay.

Shadow Box #2

Probably one of the three times I've managed to get "Ready" since you passed

I've been trucking along as best I can, bubs. But i miss you so much. I'm still rocking the phone case that has your paws on it. I can't bring myself to change it - and I'm getting close to needing to replace my phone. I just can't help but think to myself how much I wish you were here to help me through this experience - it's definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.

Farewell for now, my love.

Saying goodbye to you was the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do to date. I was not ready, don't know that I could have ever been. I will always miss you, but I am hoping for the day that this all gets easier.

I love you so much.
Rest in peace my darling baby boy. I will be missing you so much on 8/21 - I don't want to have my birthday without you - 18 years of birthdays... how am I supposed to have one without you? Is it possible to just skip these things?