cyoparallel
314545
18998
404
Sep 7, 2016 6:34 PM
cyoparallel
314545
18998
404
PandaLeigh
How does every single one of them start with "today"?
MorskiPes
11 months huh? FYL
AngelsinmyMouthfield
Came back to give an upvote to this very underrated comment.
brandsilven
Only 200 worse? Your life sucks! ;)
zhukoz
And so, a hitman is born
JaceOfClubs
Some of these people I feel terribly sorry for, but some need to just man the fuck up.
ireallycantthinkofanythingoriginal
If they were in Ireland so many of the work ones would have resulted in the employer being crucified by the labour court.
ANewBadlyDrawnReactionImageAsIMakeThem
I was surprised at how many of these could be solved with lawsuits. It's a weird feeling
Volucer
Not just Ireland, lot of unfair dismissal here (if they're true)
demonjester1515
That's because most of these aren't true. Those stories mostly wouldn't hold up against US labor laws either.
Counterfit
Many US states are at-will employment, where you can be fired for any reason aside from religion, gender, etc. or even no reason at all
BecaauseImBatman
Just cause they aren't legal doesn't mean they're reported. I have friends that could legitimately sue their employers and win but won't.
BreadyStinellis
Yeah, sabotaging you so she can get her position back after maternity leave? That's not how it works. She gets her job back after her leave
BreadyStinellis
Even if you are better at the job. It makes no difference.
HaroldAndKumarsLoveChild
I had something similar happen. They let me go because the pregnant lady watched netflix all day. Didn't look good that I had nothing to do.
BreadyStinellis
Ah, she was good at looking busy, hey? Stretch 10hrs of work out to 40hrs.
browsib
I can't imagine for some of these how anyone could think they deserved it, like people being cheated on or having their dog sold.
Iuseanavatargifforalmostnothing
some people just choose that for the fun of it (like our lovely little downvote faries)
yuraf
On mobile, the buttons are close together, so I guess at least 5% of users press the wrong button.
mieza
Personally I have a hard time empathizing with people who trust too easily since it will affect everyone, and that dog, negatively.
JeanZedlav
Some people use it as a "yeah, that happened" button.
copingcabana
What they really need is a "I don't believe you" button.
bsoxmk2
Or a "you're overreacting" button. Maybe one for first world problems.
Nomulus
Anyone who has internet access and the free time to use that site is experiencing naught but first world problems.
Sacurason
People are belligerent for the sake of being belligerent.
Adthay
You deserved it is just the name of the down vote button, often used for stories people think are made up
strawberrys0da
Not true. There's a best of "you deserve it" page where you can see the funniest ways people fuck their own life up.
TheMonsterWithinYou
Or people just accidentally hit the wrong button. Or people are assholes
eagle193
Some people are just jerks.
DJTrickyM
Their dog! ;_;
DarthSaix
Also, there are a few here where the subject cheated or just doesn't like the consequences of their actions. Those people deserve it a bit.
raidleadergutts
You spelled 'completely' wrong.
Drazhi
I mean that happens on YouTube all the time. Dislikes on videos for no reason, ALL the time
pxlnght
I'm stuck in intro to programming design and development. It's four hours long. Thank you.
cyoparallel
I feel so sorry for you.
SoggyAsshole
That MySpace one threw me for a loop until I saw it was from 2009, which is still plausible I suppose... but damn.. l
fillinthex
This. I was done after the MySpace breakup
Rc58
A good portion of these simply aren't worthy of being FMLs. Like finding coins in your hair? Really? Fuck your life? You're richer AND clean
Sawlito
"A clean butthole is a happy butthole!"
AlexDuos
Hooray! I finished! Took way longer than 20 seconds.
EchoOfSnac
I think it took longer than 30 seconds even.
TalosGuideUs
JacenSolo
Select that one topic to have in common with and keep omegling?
minabear
So many of these are complete crap.
GoneMadBrb
I believe the one about the smelly egg farts on the airplane because the same thing has happened to me!
DoubleStripperDoubleSax
Welcome to the internet.
dropeleven
"no, because sometimes [depressing amount of mental gymnastics to justify stories they read on the internet]." - imgur
showmanic
Yes, there's a very strong /r/thathappened vibe with many of these
showmanic
Basically any platform where people clamber for sympathy, I guess.
Riorach
Might be a horrible person, but I would get my dog back if it was stolen and sold, autistic kid or not. She helps my dad with his ptsd.
Wyotee
I lost it at "Hi pregnant, I'm Dad." How is that an FML? Husband him again!
JoeHellewell
Not everyone on fml is like us...we are of higher intelligence...
IREALLYLIKEREDHEADEDWOMEN
That was my response, like, that's the ultimate sign that he's happy too.
ivoryman50
I MADE IT!
KarmaRaven23
Congrats. I hear someone is giving out cookies to the survivors.
ivoryman50
As long as they are the Grandma's cookies that you get after you give blood, I'm on board with that.
cummygums
#4 is #2's roommate
WingedCamel
Today, I was planning on getting to bed early but someone on imgur posted 200 fml stories, and I just had to read all of them. FML
JacenSolo
Now this is an accurate FML :D
ssjalhazred
You Deserved It.
seaqueen69
#16 my house got robbed a couple years ago, they stole everything including a huge bag of Reese's, kit Kat mix I got for Halloween 1/2
seaqueen69
They also drank all of our soda and left it on the floor when they were done 2/2
argonwild
We got robbed at uni, my mate's playstation was taken but the thief left the memory card. Confused feelings.
seaqueen69
Idiots xD
BaselessRumors
So the location of this 7-11 with Dratinis is...?
bellaluna
I can't finish. It's too depressing.
Yepitsausername
That's what she said....
IcyLucario
The "My boyfriend has two choices a) Living alone, B) lots of sex etc etc" sounds a bit fishy to me. Like suuuuure he would get all that.
WillCorrectInaccuraciesForFood
Even if sex and pizza were legit, he must have had a reason to not want to move in (maybe she's psycho, maybe they've only dated a week etc)
BreadyStinellis
Totally. He made the right choice
waitdoyounot
All these guys with girlfriends can shut up. I'd gladly experience double this for a real and good relationship
TheOneAndOnlyZeke
Sorry but must of these are Bullshit. Otherwise there's no hope for the human race....sigh
lubu222
I was thinking the same thing; people are shitty
TheWayADrillWorks
Leave my body in shame, leave my soul in disgrace... but by every god's name, say a prayer for your race..
BumpusMcPhumpusAngeletes
I kinda want to ask if the guy who's sister was streaming if he got the name of the site so he could report it to the police
SFCrawNik
Let's just combine these with black twitter dumps. If you read them all before your phone dies, you win a cookie.
aselleus
If you have an S7 you could probably bake cookies with it
JacenSolo
I think you mean Note 7 ;)
Thirstraffe
So, youre meaning to tell me, after a year of jerking off to a certain pornstar, you only then realize she looks like your sister? You phony
NotoriousDoubleDipper
Maybe he didn't get his eyes off of her boobs till now?
Sacurason
Idk dude, the work stories ring true. Recently I lost 35.5 hours on my paycheck because my supervisor forgot that I got a promotion somehow.
Sacurason
Luckily our HR is really good so they sent out the rest of my money the next day(today). Btw when I said recently I meant two days ago.
HermanManly
i choose my pornstars based on how much they look like my sister to begin with ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
RelativeVelocity
At that point, he should just go fuck his sister
missmaryMACKMACKMACK
Counterfit
Same with the one that found the sister's fuckpage profile
Agrobastacar
I feel like most of these, this whole meme, are phony. People just think of something bad and post it.
Thirstraffe
Indeed! Much like imgur
AfroSamuraiRM
Yeah, wouldn't be surprised. Point-whoring existed when people were excited about big rolly rock wheel and big fire big scary.
DrKriegersClone
And more importantly, how has this post been up six hours without that one attracting a jaimelannisternice.gif reply?
Aquilarden
Seems backward, amirite?
jetstream588
K yeah but who's the pornstar
JacenSolo
Asking the important questions!
venslor
It took me awhile to realize my favorite looked terrifyingly similar to my best friend.
HonestPerv
190 more... ok im going in.
CrazyCatLad
I'm placing my . right here to come back tomorrow during work while I'm rendering.
Vacationdad
I thought I'd never see the end. I took a nap half way
WhereAreThePotatoes
I literally fell asleep halfway through xD
redfoxinthegarden
*gasps for air* what. year. is. it?
Kebabremover9000
I looked at this and played 3 hours of battlefield 1 before I finished. I took breaks.
blahtotheblahblah
I started this morning. It's almost night. It's like I just finished a book and I don't know what to do with my time anymore
Falcrist
It's been 10 hours. How was the trip?
HonestPerv
My eyes..... the blood
LetsEatGrandpaCommasSaveLives
*Ties a rope to @HonestPerv's belt*
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
I've read them all, I know think all humans are pure shit
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
You deserved it
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
I agree, your life sucks
HonestPerv
The Darkness has consumed me http://imgur.com/v6iIRRm
Flixster
I'll be holding the lifeline pal.
kojenk
Some say that to this day HonestPerv he is still on his way to reading to the end
HonestPerv
http://imgur.com/v6iIRRm it has consumed me.
Flameboy1234
Godspeed, my friend.
HonestPerv
http://imgur.com/v6iIRRm
YepUsernameChecksOut
Could you imagine going that fast for real?
ZedsDedBabyZedsDed
When you are done could you summarize?
functionallydysfunctional
FML
HonestPerv
http://imgur.com/v6iIRRm
FaradHusky
Hello from the other side...~
Vortality
and in doing so we discovered....WE ARE ALIVE!
cliffsterthehipster
How is finding 26ยข in your hair a bad thing?
SarcasticCanadian
Thats more than my entire lifes savings
UsernameOkay
I'm disappointed that one wasn't entirely "You deserved it."
LukewarmBeans
It was the roommate from 2.
gnomedeplume
I know right? Fuck your life? You're 26 cents richer!
TheFrenchestFry
Oh that's what fml stands for....
LongCommentChainAppreciator
Enough XXX's in the username to be considered part of the "What are you, like 12?" category and doesn't know what FML stands for
Givemesomepuppylove
'Thanks for the show!'
khorrik
Ain't no change fallin' outta my short ass hair. FML :(
almostsomething182
At least your ass hair is short, I got a forest back there. California redwood kinda forest.
IamGrrreen
It's not falling out of your short ass hair?
khorrik
Nope, not today. :D
ArthurBooRadley
The question is whether it was a quarter and a penny, or all in pennies.
cliffsterthehipster
Or 2 dimes, 1 nickel, and 1 penny
NachoPete
Or 5 nickels and a penny
cliffsterthehipster
How about 2 nickels, a dime, and 6 pennies?
FsImgur
Or a ripped dollar bill exactly 26/100th's in size.
Thelordofthethings
Or a personal check for 26 cents
ProjectKurtz
If you're in high school, it could mean someone behind you stuffed it in there without you noticing and you were being made fun of all day.
ashmenon
As someone not used to US(?) currency, I was imagining 20 6-cent coins.
Pikka
Reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/PaSBpF_zExQ
Mac3theAc3
It was probably the girl who only showers once a month
celestedrake
0_0 That was so gross.
IAmTheBadW01f
20% liars, 20% dumb, 20% need to file a lawsuit, 20% need to be more selective about who they spend time with, and 20% actual bad luck.
RealNamesAreNotGreatUsernames
Imma go with 100% liars.
kubert
And a 100% reason to remember the name!
RubelliteFae
This is 85% similar to what I was going to say.
SteelIsTheAnswer
Yea... bascially every "I got fired" ones could be solved with a single phone call to HR.
daimomusic
That's what I was thinking