fiftyshadez
206926
5795
153
Jan 19, 2018 1:00 PM
fiftyshadez
206926
5795
153
33MORPHEUS99
poopapologize
This describes the anxiety feedback loop perfectly.
rallen9268
I would transfers out of that class...
Nikolai5
Chester Zoo is damn excellent.
Spleadal
wheregoodideasgotodie
Shit i guess I'm afraid of bears now too
FragileReality
Mine started with his bucket list and talking about martial law in hurricane Katrina. I’m in an ancient history class.
MrPhucket
This is how bears beat Battlestar Galactica.
Wuuppa
Vangaren
And that is why the class is 55 minutes long. Because it takes me less than five minutes to get to my car.
ManannanMacLir
Wife him
scubavampire
I live in Chester Zoo and fear humans who can drive at 100 mph.
dingdongbannu
RIGHT so when I went to the coffee shop the guy asked me how I wanted my coffee and I said it’s mocha latte with almond milk
Gherkincensed
Wait, what?
Lori123456
I live 4.8 miles from Chester zoo...I’m screwed. Also live less than a mile from sharks (Blue Planet Aquarium)-less concerned about them.
poorwhitetrash
Classic Jon.
Buckbeak1486
It is irritating that "fear" and "Bear" don't rhyme.
Klowntax
That's fair.
Treblaine
"They also smell cold cuts" [glances at bag] "lets just say I've made a lot of mistakes in life"
artistsconcept
Steven Colbert teaches sociology?
lyrewyn
This is circle reasoning.
Gianttesticlemonster
YoureyouandImnot
Stated us off with...
Gindy4
Know who isn’t afraid of bears? 31 other NFL teams.
TheStuffMemesAreMadeOf
GROAN and eye roll “this year is going to be unbearable. Good for you, bad for me.”
MSA25
Seems logical
ginofgan
http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/spock-logic-gif.gif
EvenStevensEvenSemen
Seems sociological
Cynical9Cyanide
Not sure bears can smell fear THIRTY MILES AWAY though. Especially when the fear is inside a building. It'd have to be downwind or something
maplerose16
Hello fellow Chester Uni Student!
electricfreddy
I live 6 miles from Chester Zoo. They have tigers. Should I fear tigers?
TotalSmartAss
Fear lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my!
Amalgansim
Finally someone gets it
NecronomiKane
Pikuptrix
I actually live 30 miles away from Chester zoo. They don't have bears there though as far as I can remember.
Silentbunny
Chester Zoo is the best
melancholypanda
The bat cave is so cool. Love that place.
Silentbunny
You, i like you
mxn4
He is talking about 30 miles on the other side
landofbob
Not anymore, they don't.
Thejones81
I'm about 15 miles away. Cheshire represent!
IAmMrfish
Bout 20. Big up the Cheshire massive!
Phoebefoxface
Should we all go Rosie’s tonight?
WaterblightGanon
because they're already on the way
RogueMason
They have sun (?) bears and spectacled bears, they've been around for a couple of years now I think.
BoxOfMeh
I swore they had black bears there... though its been a while since I went
DanFranzen
Spectacled bears? They wear glasses, eh?
Wuuppa
Yeah, they're the nerds of the bears.
NamelessFacelessAverageJoe
Just the one named potter.
Blyde
I remember back in the 80s they used to have a polar bear there!
imgal76
Who gives a shit?
Siadreth
bears in woods apparently
Freakingdoomguy
That's because they are all at his door
0riginalPirateMaterial
Can confirm Chester Zoo has bears, spectacled bears and sun bears. Step dad works there. #freeticketsforme
Siadreth
We have 2 Sun bears and 3 Andean bears at Chester zoo
paigezero
We? Do you work there?
AJanglur
Or Siadreth is from Chester.
Siadreth
No I work for Chester Zoo, although I'm not a keeper. I get to look after the humans instead
AJanglur
Darn. Thought I was smart :(
NamelessFacelessAverageJoe
When an animal dies do you guys blow barbecue smells throughout the park?
JosephWright
That still makes you a keeper :)
paigezero
Still jealous you get to go there everyday :)
jessdean9
I live 4 miles away. Sun bears
Brhino
Bears can't maintain that 30 mph for very long. Human beings outclass every other animal at endurance running. Or, we did, before netflix.
HoboTerry
Accuallallyyyy....
SexyPalpatine
frothingpony
Camels?
DrunkGermanGuy
The only ones that can sort of keep up, we have domesticated so we can use them. I'm thinking about dogs, horses, maybe camels.
vasquaal
Be careful, a bear can bear anything.
PoppaBigBear
So now bears are setting distraction traps with netflix...
myr14d
I mean, we still do. And we watch these specific people run marathons. Sometimes on netflix.
OliverClothesoff70
I don't know who first pointed it out, but it's hilarious that with Netflix we've redefined "marathoning" to mean the opposite of exercise.
marianatrenchcoat
now we run marathons on netflix
Autocorrekt
Not ostriches mate
Lloxxie
We may not have endurance AND speed, but we can outlast most animals. We basically followed our prey until they dropped from exhaustion
mormacil
That's endurance :P
DogTaxEvader
what do you mean, netflix is all about marathons!
WhiteningMcClean
idk I mean my friend's golden retriever can play fetch for days
MarioPoppins
It's barbecue each of us has twice as many legs as a bear
shayscoffee
Camels, ostriches, certain breeds of antelope, and sled dogs almost outclass humans in terms of endurance running. Source to follow:
shayscoffee
http://www.popularmechanics.com/adventure/sports/g418/animal-kingdom-top-marathon-runners/
randomdrifter54
You act like the majority of people sitting on their asses is a new invention
kiive
I like to think our critical thinking skills evolved from losing sight of our prey despite being able to outlast them. Tracking is boss, man
Skulties1
This could be a factor to our puzzle solving prowess
kiive
It could also be a primal factor in our obsession with journeys in stories and lore.
TinyLiehon
Think those sled pulling dogs are one of two that outclass us (because they can't get cramps)
Psilocybinertia
What’s the second?
TinyLiehon
I forgot ... probably a chihuahua or something else with boundless energy
ilikepotatoesalot
Wait why can't they get cramps?
hughesybooze
Because it pissed our ancestors off when their ancestors got cramps.
ColoradoBC
so true
alecdshope
I liked this so much I upvoted it twice before getting too tired to carry on. Someone pass me the butter-coated cheese bacon.
XcgsdV
no, we stopped being good around when running was less useful than walking in most circumstances
dukebound85
Eh no. Humans are an example to endurance hunters. Dogs are even better..now don’t forget that other animals can have much more endurance.
penguin002
Wild dog breeds are worse at it than humans, we designed dogs that can compete with us, but we still outclass them when it comes down to
penguin002
equal fitness. 160km per day every day 365 a year would kill any known dog breed in less than a year, in Peru that is the daily life for sum
TraitorousTrump3
We’re the only ones that train for long distance.
itisanimgurnaccount
You think a bear can't find big bag of cocaine within 30 miles of Hester zoo?
Polydactyly
Had to upvote. You were at 2017 and that was unacceptable to me.
Gruffalo
Truuuue brb Gotta watch Netflix
Sparks1729
*some humans
CAW0139
I'm not gonna test this.....
Ulthirm
Our bodies are adapted to it yeah. Dogs are similar but use a method of using proteins that means they instead deal in fast short sprints or
Ulthirm
Slower jogs.
KongBjoern
have you heard about endurance hunting, that shit is insane 8 hours of running until the pray dies of exhaustion.
RuListning
Endurance doesn’t matter if they catch you
doctorbees
Ungulates have us beat on that, I'm afraid.
Skulties1
Wolf are close, and in colder weather horses also beat us. But global warming should make us dominant again
lurkerprof
Horse will win, regardless of temp, over a relative short distance, but any time you start talking 150+ miles we outclass every other animal
penguin002
you are mistaken about horses winning, even at marathon distances humans have outrun horses twice in the wales Man vs Horse Marathon.
xaero13
Most humans can't even actually run 1 mile though so looking at data over 150 miles is kinda null
avavilina
Running a mile should take a relatively unfit adult about 10-15 min. A decently fit one should do it in 7-9min
Dokramuh
Fuck that. I'm not running 240 kilometers, however delicious the animal.
chardlz
It's not about how delicious the animal is. It's about how hungry you are
CaptTelnet
The sentence that proceeded the invention of agriculture/farming.
Dokramuh
"Fuck it, I rather watch this turd sprout."
Skulties1
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_versus_Horse_Marathon on hottest days the humans win. This is 22 a 22 mile race held each year.
rmch99
Yes? He's saying that horses lose more the longer you make the race. You're saying they also lose on hotter days. There isn't contradiction.
Skulties1
He said humans only win after 100 miles. The race is 22.
beefAndOnions
A marathon is a marathon
boldstrategycotton42
Minus ostriches, wolves/huskies, and antelopes, you mean. Outside of that, yeah, a trained human could win.
Autocorrekt
idk why you were downvoted. Humans need to utilize other advantages to effectively pursue these animald which are superior in endurance runs
dilbobaggins
Put that Huskie in Florida.
LegendaryUpdootFairy
Try that against a trained sled dog...
[deleted]
[deleted]
dukebound85
Their heating method is much better.... and humans aren’t very well bred. Look at all us lazy fat asses who can’t walk to mailboxes
zimmie411
Take that sled dog to Florida in the summertime
avavilina
Actually, over long distances humans can beat most animals in a race. We take longer to overheat, so our *average* speed is higher
FunAlternativeFact
Sled dogs, camels, pronghorns, and ostriches outclass even the best runners. Also, comparing Olympic records to average speed is misleading.
ThirstyRabbit
Endurance running and sprinting are two very different things.
STINKPICKEL
I always brick my camels before a long trip.
BaltimorePolice
It's all about sweating
CliffWestern
you are correct. This is especially true when walking. Humans can walk for longer than any other animal. It was hugely beneficial in the 1
CliffWestern
savanna 2/2
twofishtails
But surely horses, wolves and many others (wildebeests?) routinely go longer distances?
dilbobaggins
If you give them an opportunity to manage their own needs for food, water, sleep, and recovery. But cut into those and we'll catch them.
CliffWestern
Actually you know what now that I'm thinking about it I might have been wrong. Statement could still be true BUT its the fact that we 1
CliffWestern
use the least amount of energy to cover the most distance. It takes very little energy for us to cover long distances. 2
CliffWestern
I'm roughly about 80-90 percent sure my statement is right. It was a topic in a human evolution course but its possible I mis-remebered. 1
CliffWestern
But I think the reason we used horses is partly speed but also because they are able to lift a lot more. 2
twofishtails
I don't think it holds true for many scenario s.
BuiltLikeATruckCuddlyLikeATeddyBear
In nature that's only useful against prey, not predators. Can't stay ahead of predators long enough to out endure them. they sprint faster.
BuiltLikeATruckCuddlyLikeATeddyBear
But in the context of this example.. yes, you're correct
Skulties1
Good thing spears can be used defensively
BuiltLikeATruckCuddlyLikeATeddyBear
Indeed!
HonestCommentFarmer
You wanna see that endurance thing in action? Why is it that when we take dogs out for a walk, they get tired and we don't?
Yellowpages
You’re obviously not walking Brittany Spaniels
MediaMuerte
The dogs trot
Buldge
I get tired for standing up for a few minutes
MithridateEupator
Dogs have evolved alongside us for a few thousand years and have changed significantly in that time
dukebound85
Why is it we have dogs pull sleds with us on them?
BehindTheseBlues
Four paw drive? Maybe?
RobinHorn
Because it's cheaper than paying a bunch of people to pull it for you
RhymesWithGrape
Even horses?
dilbobaggins
Yes. Might take a day or three, but a person can run a horse to exhaustion.
Onefinger
Actually the prong-horned antelope has us beat by a lot. They can run something like 45mph for 2 hours. absolutely crazy!
RussianMathNinja
There are ultramarathons where people run for days. Not very fast, for sure, but I suspect the antelope wouldn't be able to do that.
Onefinger
Well look at it like this, their heart and lungs are 4x the size of ours. They can totally maintain a human pace for days
RussianMathNinja
This is true, but I wonder how effectively can the antelope sweat? Humans are pretty crap at running quickly, but VERY good at slow and 1/2
RussianMathNinja
steady, because we don't overheat (among other things), which most other animals very much will. 2/2
idontremembermyuser
The main method of hunting prong-horned antelope was literally running after them until they died of exhaustian. Humans still win.
idontremembermyuser
They can also only maintain 45mph for a couple minutes. They can go 30mph for an impresive distance though.
Onefinger
Not the prong-horned antelope, you're thinking of the smaller African antelope. where persistence hunting was originated.
Onefinger
Prong-horned antelope is native to America
idontremembermyuser
Nope, I'm thinking about tribes the Rarámuri in North America decended from before the introduction of horses. 1/?
idontremembermyuser
There is strong evidence to support that persistance hunting was a common predation tecnique against the pronghorn until adaptations in 2/?
HavocCurse
Bet I could outclass a bear at endurance binging netflix, though.
sckrlfe
Youre not special. I can do that too.
capsaicinheat
My beast bear buddy an I like to watch Bearflix together. We’re besties.
PuckinFissed
Hibernation and chill?
sombrerohorsewagon
Your talking about an animal that spends all day gorging on food and not doing shit all winter. Then there’s the bear...
Skulties1
But not Netflix and napping. Bear gonna beat you on that
whatthewho
I hope Netflix would offer a seasonal package for bears, or it would really be a waste to pay for it through all those hibernation months
LickLickLickMyBalls2
idontliketheclonebone
Challenge accepted
imbitteraboutit
Bears would beet me at napping through Battlestar Galactica.
Staas
Bears do not... What's going on? What are you doing?
Brhino
Come on bear, where are you going? This show really picks up in the 5th season.
snurx
When Netflix picks up the Revenant, we're fucked
OGsatan
He couldn't bear it anymore...
youhavemail
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Nice
DepressedHappyMuffin
Your sense of humour is absolutely unbearable. I can bearly stand it.
OGsatan
Bear bear bear, bear
AGodDamnGrizzlyBear
Heard you were talking shit.
EwGrooss
They hibernate all winter. My money is on the bear
dschuma
Waking up from winter hibernation like 'OH SHOOT, I left Dr Who on... I missed the first 1/3 of the episodes
JohnnieTheShrubber
What do you think they do during "hibernation"?
FlowZX6R
Masturbate furiously while sick, waiting for their drug dealers to restock.
LoopStricken
Not poop.
404GravitassNotFound
Polar bears are better at Netflix and chill though
SpellingEternity
What about horses though.
NickNo
neigh
[deleted]
[deleted]
nicoslavia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_versus_Horse_Marathon
crazyhornedlizardlady
If a horse has endurance training I bet it could. But a race horse versus an endurance runner no.
MaladaptedMedic
horses ans dogs are the only ones that can keep up with us for a while. But even then, a very fit human will beat the very fit horse
Corgishavedisproportionatelysmalllegs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ujZDj9HuNM
PorneliusHubertII
People used to hunt prey to the point that the prey died of physical exhaustion.
STINKPICKEL
Man, the pursuit predator. Humans just wear their prey down, over time.
Muskrat42
That's how we killed mammoths. Screw fighting a giant elephant, just follow it and it'll die
YouLilShit
It’s also how native Americans hunted deer
fryedman
So what your saying is the snail is actually a little dude in a snail costume
141868
We are the snail, yes.
Beelsebooob
Horses are notorious for just collapsing dead if you keep pushing them to carry on moving continuously. Humans can keep going pretty 1/
sherbetty
Healthy as a horse...
adriedupoldprune
Horses are notoriously delicate.
Beelsebooob
much indefinitely. 2/2
capughe
Shhhh the future intergalactic overlords will hear you
IUseThisToFavoriteAssnTitties
*some humans*
Monka42
*very few
Ginocide
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_versus_Horse_Marathon#Winners Humans can beat horses, but not always.
dilbobaggins
Cliff Young, aged 61, ran 544 miles in 5 days 15 hrs by not stopping to sleep. Persistence hunting, small minded turd.
r12358
What a weirdly perfect wiki page
Brhino
believe it or not, in a VERY long race, a fit human will beat a horse.
BoozeHound001
A fit human. I wonder if I could beat a doughy out of shape horse
iregisteredspecificallyforthis
Western States 100 mile race in California, started as a horse race but now a human holds the fastest time.
MerToo
pretty sure if you spent as much time endurance training a horse purely for range it would win
KeyClavis
Like the Mongol hordes? Check out the Mongol Derby. 1000km. ~10 days. 13-14 hours in the saddle/day. Only 1/2 ever finish.
KeyClavis
The horses are semi-wild and don't necessarily cooperate.
twofishtails
Meh, pony express and Mongolian breeds most definitely outstrip humans for nonstop distance.
root1657
Pony Express, it was the mail that never stopped, not the horse.
twofishtails
Doesn't matter. Virtually any horse can travel farther than virtually any human on a day.
Brhino
I don't know about mongolians but the whole point of the pony express was that it had frequent waystations to change horses.
twofishtails
Yeah, but the distances were quite large.
dilbobaggins
Cliff Young, aged 61, ran 544 miles in 5 days 15 hrs by not stopping to sleep. You're small minded.
twofishtails
You have no grasp of statistics. Cluff was one in a billion. 99% of horses can vastly outstrip 99.999%. Keep working on that GED!
MediaMuerte
Horse can trample you
Studoku
Trampling is not allowed in most races.
MerToo
except politics, and then "feelings", "law" and "the will of the populace" may be trampled.
eyeLied
What race is that allowed? I'd watch it.
Sturmgeschutz
I mean, technically if the race is long enough the horse will die of old age before reaching the finish.
MissKalanek
So technically in a very long race, a turtle would be everyone?
SuperbBackhand
If a turtle travels further then yep, but I doubt they would
Sturmgeschutz
A jellyfish
Beelsebooob
They'll die long before that - if you keep a horse moving it'll eventually start foaming at the mouth, then collapse and die.
ElonMustToke
so... where can I buy a horse?
MerToo
same with people, but I presume the horses would be allowed to have gatorade whenever, same as the human runners?
qixx23
Theres actually ONE guy, who can literally run forever. DEAN KARNAZASE
kingmirlin
You mean Forest Gump?
eyeLied
I can literally run forever if you're making exaggerations.
torsen8
Not an exaggeration for Dean, tho
torsen8
Well, I guess he would eventually stop due to malnutrition, but mis muscles don't get tired like a normal person's do.
Revyloution
There is a marathon in Wales every year where horses race against humans. Check it out.
Corgishavedisproportionatelysmalllegs
I got that sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ujZDj9HuNM
skrimg59
in the last 38 years, the horses have won 36 times. It's a 22 mile race
DieselSpider
And the horses are all carrying a rider.
Ivain
A marathon is not that long though. VERY long here means something that'll take days.
dilbobaggins
People are too small minded when they hear "persistence hunting". Cliff Young, aged 61, ran 544 miles in 5 days by not stopping to sleep.
PrinceMoheezy
What’s it called?
4fingersincider
Run Horsey Run
flynnman504
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_versus_Horse_Marathon
RandomImgurian
"Man versus Horse Marathon" apparently.