jpark4
71860
1201
232
I've been on a few dates where the girl hates when I try to do simple things for her. It makes me very reluctant to take things any further.
What do you all think?
Jan 26, 2017 6:45 AM
jpark4
71860
1201
232
I've been on a few dates where the girl hates when I try to do simple things for her. It makes me very reluctant to take things any further.
What do you all think?
BlandSnow
That you should make your own fucking decisions about who you date and not rely on complete strangers
NotHalfBad
If I get to the door first, I'm going to open it, and not act like a spoiled princess and wait for you to reach around me and open it.
NotHalfBad
That said, I do find those little gestures you talk about to be the most romantic
Freebackrubs
As a male I let others open/hold the door for me all the time and vice versa. It's not a sex thing- is a common decency thing.
BoopBoopDEEDoop
The same for men. Don't act to good for it when I open the door for you. Say thanks and move on, I'm not after your testicles.
grilledslug
Do you try to take the door over when she holds it open for you? Works both ways and no one should have a complex about courtesy.
whatabunchofaholes
If I'm first at the door I'll hold the door open for guys. But perhaps the girls want to show you they're not needy or something. Iidk
TheDudeOrHisDudeness
I always hold the door when someone walks few steps behind me. I expect the same. It's common courtesy.
mindblowingbubbles
I'm a pragmatist, it's silly to wait at a door for the man to come open it if I'm ahead, but same goes in reverse, just say thanks, etc
Daeyelle
Chivalry is, general niceness isn't.
unaskedtabitha
If I'm first, I open the door. If he's first, he opens door. Really simple stuff.
LukewarmBeans
My only thing is that I don't like being paid for. It's not even a feminism thing. I just don't enjoy myself knowing that I haven't paid.
ProjectKurtz
We would not get along. I'm okay with going Dutch but I get a thrill out of sneakily paying.
IWouldLikeToGetOffThisRideNowPlease
Same here!! I feel so uncomfortable knowing someone has paid for something I could have covered. I feel like I owe them. Guys and girls both
justpickausernameitssoooeasy
I always hold the door open, even if they're gonna take 30 seconds to get to the door, just because I like seeing that head down fast walk
ProjectKurtz
I love doing that to people.
bitchgotaname
Yeah the thing is that we feel embarrassed as if we females are weak...nothing to do with chivalry. We really appreciate it nonetheless
SamaelTheVenomOfGod
I open the door for people because I like it when people hold the door open for me.
BipityPobityDo
CreepyPhlox
If only there were some creed or "rule" so to speak that conveyed this message to all children in kindergarten...
SamaelTheVenomOfGod
That would be just golden.
LonelyBrannigan
Simple shit, eh? :)
AStegosaurus
I hate when people hold the door for me. Am I cleared to slam the door in everyone else's face?
SendMePicturesOfYourDog
Yes
JabbaTheSwampBandit
And because having the door slam on them would be considered rude
Nize426
I open the door for people so they're forced to walk in front of me so it's easier to shank them... I uhh mean.. because it's polite! Haha..
SamaelTheVenomOfGod
Hey, if you're gonna get stabbed, you could do worse than being stabbed politely.
penguinzl
Yes! It's being polite. I'm a female, and I hold the door open for men and women alike.
BillyYumYum2by2
Opening a door because you walk in front of her- great! Insisting upon running ahead and getting the second door- annoying.
jonwithoutanh
A girl said to me once, "I don't mind if you hold the door for me, as long as you don't mind when I hold it for you."
Zulkier
All of this.
thelonepig
I've gone on dates w men who won't LET me open a door. I'm not a princess and I'm not waiting awkwardly for you to let me go.
ProjectKurtz
The middle ground is the best. If you can hold the door, hold it. If you can't, well, people have arms and can open it themselves.
ProjectKurtz
forcing people to be waited on is dumb.
rattlesnail
Someone told me if a man opens the door for you and there's two open the other for him. If he opens your car door first unlock his side
laboon
It would annoy the shit out of me is someone felt the need to say that. Just sounds like a very aggravating human.
Qualtagh
Communication = just the worst; got it
laboon
wow you guys just really dont understand what i mean. its not the communication thats the problem.
IWouldLikeToGetOffThisRideNowPlease
No we get it - the problem is that you are uncomfortable with a sense of equality between humans who have different genitals.
laboon
lol
laboon
problem is that they placed a value on something so meaningless. its not that they said it, it's because they thought it was important
TallDude
Difference between holding it open and rushing around/ahead so they don't open the door. The latter is anoying.
Zulkier
Exactly. It communicates the wrong thing completely. I keep asking myself "why is he trying so hard?"
Zulkier
Exactly. It communicates the wrong thing completely. I keep asking myself "why is he trying so hard?"
wonder89
Yea,you gotta do it in the right way. He might be choosing lousy dates,too.
likuidlightning
Opening the door for someone (regardless of gender) is just courtesy.
KingZullu
But if a man does it for another man it's gay
PumpkinMasher
I hold the door for other guys. Generally get a "thank you sir" as they swoop through.
ym1r
I open the door for everyone if I reach it first.
Yetums
Anyone, including people moving sodas into a corner store. It's a simple way to agnolage someone else thoughtfully with little effort.
RandomActOfConfusion
The hard part is judging if the person you are holding the door for is too far away.
Zulkier
"Regardless of gender" being the operative bit. Be courteous to all humans
dangerousDoc
Its just the gentlemanly thing to do
NokoOfAzeroth
I agree, I'm a female and no matter where I am, if someone is close behind me, I hold the door open for them. It's common courtesy.
kummeli
And it's not like you have to let them in first, just keep it open so they can squeeze in the same opening.
mallywanders
In 5th grade I held the door for all the students coming in from the buses after mine in the morning. It's just a nice thing to do.
mallywanders
In 5th grade I held the door for all the students coming in from the buses after mine in the morning. It's just a nice thing to do.
MemeaholicsAnonymous
M'Lady
NotACanadian
I open doors for everyone. Thankfully I haven't had anyone protest.
PatrickStarsFrontTooth
Why does it always have to be about gender
Smartzombie
Have you not existed in the past 3 years? Everything is about gender!
thefrayedendsofsanity
There's two types of people.
PickIeRick
Don't forget the foxkin of course
ChrisBrownHitMe2
Only two types
Aussieausti
Careful there mate, you are treading on thin ice
WitcheryGrubb
I know a guy who apologizes every time he swears in front of me, that's fucking annoying. I'm two years older than him! It's patronizing.
RosegoldEverything
How dare someone be respectful and not unapologetically blast you with profanity, amiright?
Kitastrophe
Not sure what age has to do with it, but light that bitch up with F bombs like it's Christmas.
boobphysicist
well chivalry is a battle code sooo yeah
McSmug
I say don't date girls like that. If they make simple things like that a hassle why the fuck would you waste more time?
Kitastrophe
Anyone who makes a nonissue like this into a thing should not be encouraged. If he won't go through a door she holds, he's just as bad
TongueLasher
I totally agree. Look at is a marker of their mindset.
TongueLasher
I totally agree. Look at is a marker of their mindset.
Doit4theratchets
Well he doesn't know that aspect about them normally until he actually goes on the date first.
McSmug
Lol, true. Didn't really have the comment space to say 'don't date them repeatedly, once is enough'. Still, they often have other red flags.
ontopofspaghetti
Or better... don't date people like that. Completely agree.
SerialKitten666
On the flip side, I've dated guys who wouldn't let me hold the door open for them, also huge wastes of time.
malurt
My GF said she liked me opening doors for her and such. Said she noticed and appreciated it from 1st date.
BillyYumYum2by2
That's awesome that she said that! Because people are so different can communication is key!
malurt
I just enjoy being courteous.
vaporwavecatrave
On the other hand, not letting a woman hold the door for you makes you seen like a sexist dick hole
PopCornPlayer81
Good manners should be encouraged, hold a door open, be polite, regardless of sex, it should be encouraged not seen as a bad thing.
Illuminnaughty
I don't mind, but if I open a door for a dude and he outright refuses to go before me I get annoyed. Just get in the damn door.
Hillraiser
What bothers me is when I hold the door open for a guy and he reaches over my head and holds the top of the door to let me go in first.(1/2)
wiggidywack
This!!! I don't understand...does it really make someone feel emasculated to have a women open the door for them?
Hillraiser
(2/2) I was holding the door for you, you've just negated my reason for holding the door. I could have just walked through and saved time.
HibiscuitsTea
Is it really that big of a deal?
Hillraiser
But no, not a big deal. Its just an observation and I'm sure other women aren't bothered at all by it.
wiggidywack
It is frustrating for me, when a man feels it necessary to take the door out of my hand while I already have it held open.
wiggidywack
It doesn't make you less of a man or a gentleman if a woman holds the door open for you. But I know some men are raised differently.
Hillraiser
As a woman it makes me feel slightly belittled. But on the flip side I can understand that the guy is just trying to be a gentleman.
BillyYumYum2by2
Agreed! If it were just that, I'd never noticed. But that's one of the many small irritations that builds up
Zulkier
Yes. If you wouldn't show that courtesy to another man. Don't do it.
ProjectKurtz
You have clearly never seen the "you go first" stalemate.
ermgrrrd
As a woman, same goes for if I try opening the door for a guy. Just trying to be nice
drockmn
This seems like a made up problem.
ichangedmynamejustnow
I've had a woman say to me "I can get my own damn door." One of the many reasons I hated living in PA.
esgedi
I experience this sort of thing a lot at my gym, most customers are college age. I've had dozens of girls scoff at me for holding the door.
PumpkinMasher
Never had anyone complain about me holding the door open. I did once close a door on a girl that thought she could just stand in the doorway
brucebernard
The real problem is attracting shitty women and not blaming yourself for it.
LeadByBadExample
It probably is. Also, it has nothing to do with chivalry, just common courtesy.
Schmedes
Except for, in this instance, it has happened with several women. He's likely trying to act like too much of a gentlesir and coming off bad
LeadByBadExample
Meaning he is the problem, not his perception that it must be sexism.
Schmedes
Yep, that's my guess.
Dundersnail
I held a door open for a girl and got told she had a boyfriend. Didn't hold the next door open.
Zulkier
You should've said "me too"
madamoizillion
Okay, but start to think about why a woman needs to say that due to what may seem like an innocuous action to you. It means she's been (1)
madamoizillion
most likely inappropriately hit on in the past. "I have a boyfriend" is a joke around here but it's often the only rejection someone (2)
madamoizillion
will take, and it ends up feeling like one needs to say that to protect from any unwanted attention. Thanks for listening.
BurgerExplosion
Ya if the girl opened the door for me id be stoked. They never do :( ITS JUST BEING NICE
McSmug
As a girl I open/hold the door for people regardless of who it might be. It just seems like the nice thing to do that literally costs me zip
BurgerExplosion
^thank you
ICantFixThis
Amen
thegirlyourmotherwarnedyouabout
Me too
Kitastrophe
What kind of people do you know that a full half of them literally never hold a door for you?
BurgerExplosion
Society
cogitoro
There's "holding the door to the restaurant open for your date," and then there's "holding the door open to the car, shutting the door 1/2
cogitoro
rushing round to open the door again, shutting it, holding the restaurant door, pulling out her seat and just being obsequious as hell." 2/2
RosegoldEverything
Some of us actually appreciate courteous men. I'd hate to be in a relationship with someone so ungrateful as yourself.
ProjectKurtz
I used to open/close my ex's door for her because it took special oomph to close completely and she always had to close it 2-3 times.
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ProjectKurtz
I do. Sometimes running around like a crazy person has a reason, and isn't just being a pain.