toomuchshit
305138
8274
213
Feb 23, 2014 7:23 PM
toomuchshit
305138
8274
213
jondorianistheman
http://m.imgur.com/kncuY?tags
WTFidotonight
Thats how i imagine living in the 1984 book from George orwel !
Doughboy5000
Dear athetits, if god no exist how me a computer type words?
MrTenzin
Checkmate, atheists.
superben
Sponsored by Ken Ham
ColossalTitan
If God isn't real then come peecha chakka no wookie boonowa tweepi solo? Ho ho ho ho hoooooo.
armenite
FatSlimBoy
If god doesn't exist, what does the fox say?
meesenotmoose
Tide goes in, stain comes out. You can't explain that.
UmVtZW1iZXJUaGVOYW1l
This was going to be my comment :(
AmazingAnus
I logged in just to upvote.
noneforGretchenWienersbye
it's going nowhere from here i can promise you that
Grungeking
Knife goes in, guts come out.
HomicidalDirtMuppet
Omg, I just watched this episode today...
MichaelPHayes
http://imgur.com/gXAWovR
LifeAtEleven
It always annoyed me that Lisa would go to Church but then get upset about Creationism and then randomly become a Buddhist. Silly plot holes
gostoso666
yeah those damn animated fictional comedies should keep it real!
GreatestAdventurer
I saved this link for a rainy day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmHoNr3kUZY
MrTenzin
I loved that.
ATSword
HEY I KNOW! Let's all type about this issue passionately and and convince eachother over the internet without running over the character lim
TimeToPayTheFiddlerWhore
I should mention that not all Christians are terrified of science. Science makes bacon. Space bacon.
xDownSetx
Spacon™.
GutlessMako
http://imgur.com/zy0H2nC
rocketscientist
I was hovering over this image with the link above playing in the background. Magic.
MyDadLooksLikeTomCruise
I like this. I really really do.
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
Win. WIN. WIN WIN WIN. Great post.
Folamh3
I was watching "The PTA Disbands" yesterday and there's a bit where Edna notes that the only books in the school are books which have (1/2)
Einstein9073
dick butt (2/2)
Folamh3
been banned by other schools, including Darwin's Theory of Evolution (2/2).
Webkinz10vr
dicks (1/2)
scraps414
butts (7/-5)
JustAGreyWizard
So.. Why does anything exist? Why is Existence a thing? If there is a god, where did he start? Why was there a start?
pancreas
There was a start because cats got lonely, so they created humans
myfavgames
simpsons sense of homour is just awesome..
hiccuphell
You're very clever, young man, very clever, but it's Ralphs all the way down!
MrTenzin
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! WHERE IS SUPERNINTENDO CHALMERS.
P00pdalla
God is like the wind AND "Wind is a finite resource and harnessing it would slow the winds down, which would cause the temperature to go up.
henriksen1
'Now Lisa's the Ralph.' What a great line. Worthy of a classic Simpsons.
dommi
Then how me a dog learn English?
Coreativity
Not sure if Terri or Sherri in bottom panel...
blackandyellow
allhisdarkmaterials
I am still laughing. OMG this is now my go-to response GIF.
DirtyA
Excellent
AntTrapHouse
We all do ralph, we all do...
SeriousCloud
I really don't.
MatchesTMalone
Calm down, Oedipus.
SteveHarringtonsLusciousLocks
https://kmpunksays.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/ilpe0t9ywghax.gif?w=830
Sabretoothl5
dat reaction take +1
mustbefunatparties
This is a completely accurate depiction of public school in the Bible Belt.
Cammaster
I must be in the minority. I was raised in Franklin TN and received an amazing education. Hopefully this becomes the norm.
adogisalsorefferedtoasacanine
Shut the fuck up you pretentious fuck
Redwolfordie
Having gone to school in the Bible Belt for my entire life, you've probably never even been to the South. Dumbass.
birdiebridget
I went to high school in small town Missouri. I cannot tell you the rage I felt.
violaciouspanda
Actually, no.
mechanimated
It's not really the bible belt so much as radically catholic schools. I went to a catholic school in NY and was told the clit didn't exist.
TheInfamousWolf
The Bible Belt: where being gay is a choice and being fat if something you're born with.
Cobaltios
Why why everyone around there is a barge.
SuchIrrelephant
They aren't fat, just big boned.
AbortedWalrusFetus
Homosexuality is a sin! Gluttony? Never heard of it
jaxto
how is being gay not a choice?
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
It isn't. Some people are born gay, it's how they are.
jaxto
if you were born gay then the genetic trait would have died out because it wouldn't be past on.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
never thought about that. yeah, that would be true...
Welley
Read about the Twins study and genetics. One's sexuality is not a choice but written in one's chromosomes. (1/2)
jaxto
if you were born gay then the genetic trait would have died out because it wouldn't be past on.
Welley
I used to think like you until my gf explained the phenomenon to me on a chalk board over 14 hours straight (She studies Genetics). (2/3)
Welley
A psychological study also mentionned that depending of one's surroundings, his/her may change because of environmental changes. (3/4)
magruderp
Not it's actually not. Bringing up religion in school, unless studying it in history, is very frowned upon because the controversy around it
cpnbeeb
Confirm. Sure was rad failing biology for believing in evolution.
Phenome
tell me you're kidding.
badapparu
He's not kidding, he's lying.
cpnbeeb
Wish I was. Woo Virginia! I was also told if I accepted Christ, I'd be passing geometry.
Phenome
c'mon, now you're bullshiting, surely D: If it is true then damn, that's more pathetic than i could have imagined.
cpnbeeb
Behold the joys of living in the rural Baptist south where you're hyper-fucked if you weren't born here. Anyone not with Jesus got fired.
SexGazebo
He is still lying.
HylianFox
What about private Christian "schools"?
infectiousentity
Yup. And unfortunately I live in the "buckle" of the Bible Belt. Good ol' Tennessee.
Galactasaur
Where I went is nothing like this.
badapparu
It's nothing like this anywhere. Anyone who thinks this isn't pure strawman is as stupid as they think stereotypical "Bible thumpers" are.
Ijustwannachange
Miami Florida here, not sure how much we count but we don't have any bible BS in our schools. Expect when we read genesis in english, but we
gingertrain
Florida, especially the cities, is a bit different considering all the immigrants (both foreign countries and foreign states).
Ijustwannachange
tore that shit apart (figuartively) and laughed at it
AxTeddyBear
Florida is the only state where the farther north you go, the farther south you get. I live in the panhandle and its a lot like this.
bwk2421
I attended 3 public schools and a university in NC. The only time Creationism was even mentioned was when studying history of religion.
heydidyoueverfindbugsbunnyattractivewhenheputonadress
with all due respect (which is little), we need kids to understand science so that they can find a way to put more bacon in my sandwich
JBSmoove
To answer the question of your username.... maybe
UpUpDownDownLeftRightLeftRightBA
well you see, there's this book...
Greypuppy
"put more bacon in my sandwich" Are you flirting with us?
macaroonmonsoon
There's that new Jack in the Box sandwich…
heydidyoueverfindbugsbunnyattractivewhenheputonadress
and make even cuter kittens
BaconKitty
two causes I fully support yaaaaay! >^.^<
GetBaconOrDieTrying
I hear that!
IdownvotePeopleWhoComplainAboutDownvoters
And also provide creationists with more efficient carcinogens.
battery1979
Have you tried a Jack in the Box Bacon Inside?
DickDraper
You are everything that is good in this world. Faith in humanity has been restored
philhauss
There's no need for this comment and the upvotes you got for it are sick and undeserved.
heydidyoueverfindbugsbunnyattractivewhenheputonadress
wat
philhauss
Why do you have so little respect for other peoples points of view? It's hostile and unnecessary.
heydidyoueverfindbugsbunnyattractivewhenheputonadress
first of all, as a canadian, sorry. Secondly, if you think this comment is hostile, welcome to the internet, you're gonna have a tough time
philhauss
There's no need to be hostile about an already overtly raw subject. There was just zero need for the extra (which i have very little) bit.
masonicmasonry
Will somebody put this man in charge?!
CoreyGagnon
No science needed.... just put more bacon in your sandwich. As an adult, you have complete control over this kind of thing.
TheLolzer
answering your username: I have an animated characters fetish.
DoctorWh0m
+1 for nonsense
SexGazebo
Never! That would be playing god!
UnemployedKiddieProgrammer
If you're willing to stomach pgs with a million backs, then sure.
acerox15
Bacon is essentially a pigs abdominal muscles. Ag major, awaaay!
UnemployedKiddieProgrammer
I thought it was the pig's back! Oh well, pigs with a million tummies then.
GuantanamoBae
Well they've managed to create bowls made out of bacon so we are on our way!
icantbelieveijoined
mooink
ProfessorMosby
As a Subway employee I...huh...ok. Double meat then?
crenom
Wayne : No. Garth : Neither did I. I was just asking.
namelesscynic
A bacon sandwich made with Baconaise, on Bacon-Cheese bread. http://abeautifulbite.com/loaded-bacon-cheddar-bread/ Done. Next?
stutteringbob
You got some good fucking priorities there son. We do need more bacon in sandwiches
MmMerrifield
I like this.
flamingflamingo
Did you know scientists are working on a way to grow bacon in a lab?
Ocobthaigh
They already did steak, but apparently the taste was off, so now they have to fix it.
DoctorCatDog
Wouldn't they just have to like...raise a piglet? I feel like this research is a tad superfluous...
flamingflamingo
Well it's more like the science of growing tissue in a pitri dish... but bacon is pretty similar to human tissue! ... This is troubling.
vibrantlightsaber
Without the whole living animal, just the living tissue. But I am guessing you guessed that.
nystagmus27
It's to be able to "grow" meat without animals...freeing up land to grow food for people and not livestock...interesting really.
DoctorCatDog
No...I know...it was supposed to be a joke
N0083rP00F
http://www.dotd.com/mm/chimera.gif
jackaldude2
You mean like the Bene Tleilaxu?(Dune reference)
planethalia
We're hamstringing our children's education. Plus, what if you were taught ANOTHER religion's creation story? Would that still be better?
senshu
Back in the brief window of time when we were actually educated, we WERE taught other creation stories.
AncalagontheBlack
"Many religions believe that the universe was created by a higher power, but that's not going to be covered in this class." Nice and easy.
Vanesh
"In the beggining, Anu and Sithis made out, thus born the Et'Adas living in Aetherus and Oblivion, and who created our world" - Science book
emkay443
HAMstringing. Like in "Ken Ham"? :D
SuckAnElf
We learned native Californian creation stories in 4th grade I believe.
youareatoy
In the UK we learn a lot of different creation stories as part of Religious Ed. Do you guys not learn about other religions?
Tvachxi
I went to Catholic school. They taught both creationism and evolution in depth. Creation stories from other cultures were also covered (1/2)
Tvachxi
but these were presented as myths.
BigAndChunkyDane
In Denmark we have a class specifically for religion where you are taught the basics of Christianity, Islam and Buddhism.
toomuchshit
than creationists, because they sound crazy anyways whenver they open their mouth.
blitherypoop
I vote Ancient Egyptian. God jerked it, created more gods. Those gods fucked,made even more gods. Everything is gods and they're all fucking
Prosecutrixxx
I'm taking an introductory religion class right now and ancient religions are fuuuuuuuucked.
toomuchshit
Exactly, this creationism bullshit is useless and i think ppl who think both can be taught side by side are the bigger problem 1/2
DeltaDin
Which is why I'm going to laugh at the faces of my future children's friends when they try to talk to me about it like it's a fact.
uzerok
It would be nice to hear the other religion's creation story, in history and perhaps ethics class.
AnotherImgurianEnglishman
Eh, wouldn't be entirely appropriate within the historical discipline. Leave it in theology.
NerdN1
Except maybe for cultural context. Yeah, mostly religious studies.
uzerok
Those stories are part of our cultural history, we can't deny it. But just keep it out of the science classes.
TheLastSouthernGentleman
I was never taught creationism in any of my science classes growing up. Is that actually a thing?
uzerok
Neither was I, but it is a thing in certain places and it is spreading. But from the perspective of creation myths it would just be fair 1
uzerok
to hear about all of them and not only about a single one, after all the creations are talking about a 'balanced view'. 2
TheInfamousWolf
If God doesn't exist, how can you explain a sunset?
[deleted]
[deleted]
DavidAmazing
as an anything undergraduate because they teach this shit to first graders
dorman13
Thinking a sunset is beautiful doesn't prove god.It shows human capacity to appreciate beautiful things.(that doesnt disprove god either...)
ThomasHFoolery
jadensmithface.jpg
thequickbrownfoxjumpsoverthelazydog
you forgot the typo!
dorman13
You might as well ask,'how can you explain being sexually attracted to someone?'-Because evolution favored traits beneficial to reproduction
DonPoldoRod
The Titan god Helios moving his chariot lead by four winged horses dragging the sun above the horizon to the land of espherides
stevisbad
Simple, a sunset god.
GodOfDeathAndAlsoKungFu
Over millions of years the sun developed the instinctual drive to rise and set through the process of evolution, obviously.
CommanderLiteral
There's this book
MorePunkThanMe
When you take a tissue out, how does another pop up right where it was? You can't explain that!
notirrelevant
You quoted wrong; the original was "if THEIR is no God..." Nobody's going to believe you're a real creationist with good grammar like that.
Materclaritas
SHOTS FIRED
DVSBSTrD
*there
notirrelevant
Not sure if you're trolling, but my point was the creationist used "their."
hotlesbianassassin
he IS a creationist. clearly.
SonOfLucifer
the planet Earth turns, Slowly...
DeceitfulDaisy
the earth is rotating on its axis around the sun...
AngryHumanoid
That's just like, your opinion man.
Thekingofbeans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iO5-ic0Ug4
DeceitfulDaisy
im ok with that
ArnoldBlinken
WROOONG!!! the SUN orbits the EARTH!!! if you don't can't accept that FACT, it means you hate the LORD GOD and want to rape baby JESUS!!!!!
HorseEmperor
Bird jesus*
DeceitfulDaisy
i guess bring on the baby jesus...
MeanWinchester
Genuine question, so please don't crucify me for it, but how did the earth start spinning in the first place? 1/?
Genini
The Earth spins because it formed in the accretion disk of a cloud of hydrogen that collapsed down from mutual gravity and needed
SheepSyndrome
Gravity, magnetic forces, and I don't know what I'm talking about.
DeceitfulDaisy
theres a few theories out there... google is magic and i dont have time to do it for you so have at
MeanWinchester
it's cool, others have done it for me, Genini was particularly helpful
Genini
to conserve its angular momentum. It continues to spin because of inertia.
MeanWinchester
I know that when it formed it's momentum from the big bang caused it's orbit of Sol, but why did it start spinning on it's axis as well?
Phenome
http://youtu.be/FzcOsgm8Gnk
MeanWinchester
this is fantastic, thank you!
stevisbad
Simple, a sunset god.
namecrisis
Commenting to remember for future use.
CjGrace
Cannot upvote or downvote. Points sitting at 666. Where is your God now.
TheInfamousWolf
I hope no more people upvote this. It's brutally ironic right where it's at.
GiveYourselfAHandshake
if god does exist then who created him? why don't we pray to gods creator? a sunset happens as a result of rotation, not a storybook
tckng
TheRiffTheRaff
And how come you guys can send a guy to the moon but you can't make my shoes smell nice?
StillChasingFireflies
You got me....
EwanMe
Earth rotates... Was this a joke I didn't understand?
Welley
Yes. It's from Bill Nye and Ken Ham's debate Creationist's feedbacks. Look for it if you want a good laugh.
Rocketman9465
A sunset is when yo' mamma puts her fat ass to bed! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BURN
Rocketman9465
I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I feel just… just terrible.
pastramionrye
Try harder 3/10
crepesofmath
If God doesn't exist how can you explain Anna Kendrick?
cazo
and who is Jesus' dad?
ReptilianOverlord
Probably the second law of thermodynamics
JediKnightGZ
I always go with "If God doesnt exist, how did 5 police detectives lift up my shirt and NOT see the illegal .45 in my waistband?" True story
PlainSimpleGarak
Or what about the tides! You can't explain that!
havik5
The tides come in, the tides go out. Never a miscommunication.
NerdN1
Rotation of the Earth on its axis.
MrJohnsonAndTheJuiceCrew
the rotation and revolution of the planet, though i still believe some higher form of consciousnness could be possible, but thats just me...
tracereading
The rotation of the Earth and the electromagnetic spectrum. Sorry to ruin your joke, but I hate you.
CerebrawlHemmorage
Found the Poe.
CerebrawlHemmorage
Well, attempted Poe anyway.
Thereisnosafeword
Sun comes up, sun goes down. Tides come in, tides go out. You just can't explain that.
ekelrock
Liek dis if u cri evertiem
JenWontShutUp
tide goes in, tide goes out. never a miscommunication.
MrPredator
Didn't I just say this? It's a freaking magical flying unicorn that farts rainbows with her tail! GAH!
IdownvotePeopleWhoComplainAboutDownvoters
Axial tilt relative to the plane of orbit. That wasn't so hard
literallymike
Don't forget the refraction of white light through the different densities/chemical consistencies of atmosphere.
IdownvotePeopleWhoComplainAboutDownvoters
That just affects what wavelengths of light are absorbed or scattered, and thus the perceived colour of the light.
johnnyhandbags
http://atheistrepubliccdn.jilanetmedia.netdna-cdn.com/sites/default/files/flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg
afrofrycook
Because squares aren't as pretty.
AncalagontheBlack
Oh god, that reminds me of an Apples to Apples game that turned violent over a debate over whether Earth or meatballs were rounder.
johnnyhandbags
It probably depends on how much wine you drink before you make the meatballs.
AncalagontheBlack
The crux of the debate centered around whether the lumps of the meatball were a greater irregularity than mountain ranges are.
AntTrapHouse
this is great
Fozzybear
This literally brought me to tears
TheIronBank
I was an atheist until I read that. I'm stumped.
o77o
That one opened my mind too. See you in heaven
dorman13
Liar.
mcmancy
Harry potter, the witches and wizards are in charge of the sunset
GarrettStopMotion
When I was young a kids mom in school would not let him watch harry potter, she said it was against hist religion, his mom ruined his life.
GarrettStopMotion
the kid was so fucked up, all because the mom was a religious nut, and she let him do nothing.
chandlersthirdnipple
Jesus turns water to wine, MIRACLE! Harry Potter does it and it's the work of the devil.
mcmancy
Damn muggles
Slyshadic
I am a Christian, and it is hard to believe that people think that the sunset is a thing by god.
colinkarr
I'm a Christian too and I like to think that since God created existence...obviously it's gonna be beautiful lol
SometimesAUserNameIsRelevantButInThisCaseItIsNot
How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
TheLivinLegend
How can ace be one and eleven? What kind of God would allow that?!
titaniumspine
God plays with dice, not poker decks.
micksy
Save me Jebus!
ThunderAtHawaii
One and Fourteen*
AwkwardOstrichGirl
The kind that can be himself, his son, and a holy bird at the same time. C'mon, dude, you're slacking.
carewyllie
Ace is never eleven. Jack is eleven, Queen is twelve, King is thirteen. Ace is one and fourteen.
TheLivinLegend
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackjack
carewyllie
You are correct. I wasn't thinking about blackjack. Here, take my ace. *hands over imaginary ace*
TheLivinLegend
My comment was reference to a Simpsons ep when Homer becomes a missionary and accidentally corrupts a village with casinos, by the way :D