Finally

Aug 6, 2016 7:54 PM

derpyfins

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68025

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2343

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175

I never wanted kids, and after years of doctors telling me that I didn't know what I wanted, that I had to take my future husband's wishes into account, that I should be psychologically evaluated, that I was too young to make a life altering decision, I finally found a doctor that would sterilize me. To lessen chances of ovarian cancer, they actually just took out both of my fallopian tubes.

Apparently, while I was in the recovery room and pretty out of it I demanded that the nurses prescribe me a cat. Good times!

Had to wait until I was at home to cuddle up with this little monster, though.

Happy spay day!!!! That's what me and my friends call her sterilization day

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Congrats! I get the same reactions whenever I tell someone I don't want kids "oh you'll come to your senses" how dare I decide for myself?

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 4

Wife has fibro, wants hysterectomy, docs say no, that "she'll want kids later", and ignore us when we mention I had vasectomy 15yrs ago.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

But somehow boob jobs for 16 year olds is totally OK

10 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 3

Just because it was in the news once doesn't mean it's widespread practice.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

No ones actually saying that okay. Ethically it's probably not. Most physicians would agree that's not ethical practice.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you know you know. And there is anyways adoption of you change your mind. You do what you gotta do.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

I had my vasectomy before I was married. Choose the non-reversible kind. Was warned, then cut. No guilt trip. Should be save for women.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

There has been at least one successful lawsuit of a woman suing and winning a doctor that sterilized her since she didn't want any children.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

I fucking hate frivolous lawsuit. Why are doctors required to protect people from their own decisions? People shouldn't be coddled.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Because it's their job to know better

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't think that should be the case though.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The subreddit r/childfree has a list of docs that are not assholes.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

So how do I find a doctor willing to give a 30 yr old with no kids a hysterectomy or tunes tied?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If you live in Seattle I can recommend one!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wishing you a speedy recovery OP! It sucks that you had to go trough such hurdles. It's mind boggling. Which country are you based?

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Thank you! I'm in the US.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Wow, I guess the standards of "freedom" are very different state by state? Anyway, kudos girl. Your body, your choice.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Sad thing is, I'm in the NY area, it's better here than it is elsewhere.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Same with being in NY area so it doesn't surprise me.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My friend had to turn 30 before they would. They didn't want her second guessing it, which I get as a dr but that must have sucked.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wow, I'm so sorry. I was so lucky that the first doctor I saw OKed me immediately, even though I'm CF and was 27. It feels so damn good tho!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Awesome!!!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nurse, 50cc's of cat stat

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean, there's something to be said for a psychological evaluation before major elective surgery, but FIFTEEN YEARS of fighting? Jesus.

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Do we require it for other elective surgeries? Plenty of boob jobs and nose jobs done without a second thought by the doctors.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Those don't generally have life-altering consequences, though. Also, they're easily reversed. Not exactly comparable...

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You only specified elective, and I wasn't saying you were wrong btw. I'd rather sign away my rights to sue, however, and get things done.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I said MAJOR elective surgery, which would exclude non-reconstructive cosmetic shit. Besides, doctors have a burden of care, legally, 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2/2 that even a signed and notarized waiver can't totally erase, if a lawyer's aggressive enough.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I always upvote and favorite cats. He's soooo cute!!!!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Thank you!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Do want. Take the uterus and all. If I change my mind like every person on the planet tells me I will I'll adopt.

10 years ago | Likes 212 Dislikes 3

You don't want them to take it all out. You need he hormones those parts of your body produces or bad things can happen. Taking them in 1/?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Shots is no fun. My mom had a historectomy (?) for cancer reasons and it has caused all kinds of issues for her in ways you wouldn't 2/?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Expect. You do need to keep them if at all possible to regulate your body. Get sterilized, but know the risks to your health 3/3

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Had partial hyst in late 20s, never looked back.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Speaking as an infertile person; there's plenty of kids who need love, why limit that to genes.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I know! I was like "yo, take it all out while you're in there anyway" but they wouldn't.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I shouldn't look down on ppl who want "their own kids" but seriously what's wrong with adopting? Just because they don't share your dna?

10 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 1

This. I was adopted and it saved my life

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

As an adopted person, you're absolutely right. Family is the people who loved and raised you.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Carrying your genes to next generation is biological desire and instinctive to us

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

By that logic lots of very immoral behavior is justified. Commenting on the argument that we should follow instincts for instinct sake.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

So it's natural to have that notion without any other reasoning but adoption is great too!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I believe it is BUT a lot of society pressures us to as well.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

The line musn't fail, only a true born male can continue the line and inherit the seat of my house.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey look a troll! Aint he cute?! Tryin to start shit :D Go back to your lil bridge ok buddy? Therell be some billy goats nearby i promise.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not a troll just been watching a lot of game of thrones. You sure are very quick to jump to conclusions.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well this is a bad thread to be saying this w/o reference

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(btw normally the first born carries the same blood type as the mother....so we have that)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How does this correlate at all to what I was saying.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Because a lot of those families have their first born become the heir, but first borns are more of their mother than father. I find it funny

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone with an adopter sister and adopted aunts, I think adoption is an awesome tool for good in this world. Too much work for me though

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Oh my God, I read "adopted anus" instead of "adopted aunts"...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Over the course of my life the whole "blood is blood" thing has been devalued a great extent. A bond is a bond imo

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

With adopted children bonds are not the same as biological. I'm in no way saying adoption is bad and that you shouldn't do it. It's just dif

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i understand the bond is born by different means, but over the course of my life the bond by blood has been devalued to 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well,yeah women should totally consider the wishes of theorethical future men.I guess that is why shopping takes so long

10 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 17

Why should they consider anyone's wishes but their own?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Holy shit. That was good

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because she might want a kid in 5 years and see the doctors for not warning that the procedure was predominant.They were protecting themself

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

Sue* the doctors* both men and women get the "future partner" talk so they understand the full consequences. 2/3

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

Men get the same exact talk about thinking for a future wife. Even though vasectomys can reverse, many of them are permanent.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

Holy cow autocorrect ate my sentence* people sue doctors for not warning them about the consequences. Sexism doesn't even come into play.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

So we just add in a legal document stating the implications and have women sign acknowledgement and sign away their rights to sue.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then you go to jail for not explaining the legal document good enough.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Idk, it seems like they should be able to require patients to have an attorney go over the document with them and sign assent.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's not perfect, but if someone is intent on being sterilized there should be an avenue that protects docs and gets the procedure done.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry your rights to control your own body are less important than your right to bear arms.

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 5

It's because the doctor doesn't want to get sued later down the line if she changes her mind.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

pro 2nd amendment guy here. she should have the right to do as she wishes with her body. not sure what your point is, i wasn't in her way.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm saying both are important but for whatever reason one is taken more seriously then the other.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

count the people own guns, count the number of women that attempted to be sterilized and been refused. guess which one is bigger.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

it's just a matter of numbers

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And that's what my original statement said... I'm sorry her rights are less important...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel your pain. @ 30 my original OB told me she refused to tie my tubes after my 2nd kid was born. She also said I was too young to make

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

that kind of decision. I found a new OB. He asked me if I was sure several times during the pregnancy, and again the day I delivered and had

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

the tubal ligation. But he did say it was my decision to make. It's beyond frustrating that the female OB gave me flack while the male OB

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

in my limited experience, as a woman i get more flack in general from woman doctors on just about everything.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

was ultimately fine with it.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Mother found out, asked 'what will you do if the man of your dreams wants kids?' I said 'he's not the man of my dreams then' No regrets, OP!

10 years ago | Likes 326 Dislikes 16

I've had the same conversation. :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't want kids, on the off chance I ever change my mind I'll adopt, I wouldn't spread my gene

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

I made that decision when I was 7. My family is very prone to illnesses and pretty much all of us are gingers. I hate that.the suns my enemy

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

ah, well my family is prone to heart disease and a few have kicked the bucket to cancer, none of us overachievers i'd try some fresh gene

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Preach!

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

All of this!!!

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

neat, can i come too?

10 years ago | Likes 143 Dislikes 1

not anymore

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I see what I did there.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Certainly. No need to dread the prospect of eighteen years of child support afterward either.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Sure thing!

10 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 2

sweet. i can bring rum and some fragile lamps.

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Sounds like my kind of party!

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 2

we're gonna get drunk and break stuff, right?

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

it's insane how difficult it can be for a woman to get this done

10 years ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 9

Just as difficult for men from what I hear.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep. It's crazy.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 3

My mom had 5 unwanted pregnancies before they would! (3 kids same dad) it is getting better, but still sucks

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Perhaps she should have kept her goddamn legs closed. Kids these days.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 10

Ummm she was married. This is weird

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Not just women. I can't get one either, and I already have a child.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Whereabouts do you live?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

England. NHS Won't consider it and a private doctor told me to come back in a few years.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Give MarieStopes a call or a mail or ten, I think it is also banks around in UK, and if you have some stored it should be easier.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm male. I think that was implied. But it's good to be clear.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean I get why

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 7

i don't. why should decisions about what you want to do to your body be hindered by a doctor, without a legit medical reason for objection?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Some doctors just aren't comfortable doing somethings and I don't expect them to either

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

if a doctor isn't personally comfortable with it, they should refer the patient to someone who is. it's the patient's decision.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They should, but they don't. Morality is strange

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I get why they want to make sure you understand and have thought it through, it most likely can't be undone. But 15 year is excesive.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

i mean, are we adults in charge of our own lives, or what?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I totally agree, but people do things when they are depressed or scared of pregnancies or what not. So making sure they 100% know is good.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

if you're seeking out a doctor to do it for you, you've probably thought it through. if not, tough shit. personal accountability.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Its a little nuts for both sexes. Im 33 and my doctors finally gave me the go ahead. With all the kids in foster care i kinda think this 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

Should be an easier choice for everyone.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

it's nuts that it's difficult at all for either sex, but it's more difficult for women because the men's is seen as more reversible

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

NO. It is seen as reversible by laymen. All vasectomys are considered predominant by doctors. It should be harder for men because of that1/?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Permanent, not predominant* autocorrect pls. You should never assume a vasectomy is temporary.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ive gone back and forth on whether I want kids over the years. I can see why doctors would hesitate to make a permanent move...

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 5

but this certainly is an extreme case. 15 years!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

going back and forth is one thing, but there are some people who just know it's not for them. Or it could also be for health reasons

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

If it was the same for men and women I might be ok with it, but it's not.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For men isnt there at least some probability that the procedure is reversible. Does that play into this?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I guess this is also the first I've heard of someone having issues. I didnt know it was commonplace

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Some can be but if you go for the cut cauterize option it's not likely. But I haven't done a ton of research for vasectomies specifically.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But the decision would be yours when it came to the day of surgery. It's not up to a doctor to protect yourself from yourself.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thats not really true. Doctors dont generally perform unnecessary surgeries because they dont like to create risks.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is probably the case. But in this instance I do not believe it should be.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Considering the other option is taking hormones/birth control the surgery should be A LOT safer

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If I asked a doctor to remove my heart I dont think I could find one who would agree. Or chop off a limb thats in good health

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now that doesnt apply directly to this case but doctors dont have to do surgeries just because we want them done

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is a completely different scenario though. You can see that, can't you?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You painted with a broad brush saying "its not up to a doctor to protect yourself from yourself"

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fifteen years. Seriously? There are a lot of doctors out there that need a pavement facial.

10 years ago | Likes 427 Dislikes 43

Plot twist: OP is 15

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

OP said she started asking at 18. Add the 15 years it took and OP is now 33.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Depends on when this 15 year clock started for her... Most Doctors will do this fine for women >18 so I'm guessing she decided very early...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then the pt comes back and sues you when they can't have babies. No shit. It happens. We don't (shouldn't) do surgery just "cause"

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 3

Part of it is because they're afraid of being sued over it. Doctors have been sued for stupider things and obgyn's get sued the most.

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

Not surprised. I've doctors refuse to prescribe me an IUD under the outdated belief that it can cause sterilization.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The procedure can be pretty dangerous and the possible future lawsuits are not worth to any doctor.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I had to fight ten years for mine. The idea that women need to breed to be happy needs to fucking die already.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

I agree soooo much. Pretty sure 90% of us who go in asking to be sterilized know what we're getting into. Those who don't probs need it too

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Here you need to be 30 years old before they'll even consider. And even then it's a hell of a fight.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's pretty common for docs to refuse to do tubal ligation on younger women, in the manner @OP describes. 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Actually, I thought better of posting my 2/2 comment. Carry on.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Fair enough

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's a liability issue. We're a culture of lawsuits sadly, and doctors have to protect themselves.

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 3

1/? It would be interesting if someone that had asked, repeatedly, for a sterilization got pregnant, and had complications due to that.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2/2 With a ballsy enough lawyer, it could at least stir things up a bit. Maybe not in US, but this is a issue in a lot of countries.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So why can't we just implement legal documents where the women sign their acknowledgement of the implications and give up rights to sue?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If only the legal system were that simple :/

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You'd be surprised. Around here you have to be over 25 and have 5 or 6 kids before the area doctors will think about it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wonder if they respond better to women with genetic diseases that shouldn't be passed on.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not here at least. Only if a pregnancy could prove fatal do they make exceptions.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope. Schizophrenia and dementia run heavily in my family. They still wouldn't do it. I also had very high stress/high risk pregnancies.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's probably not their choice. Not saying it isn't fair, but not everything is the fault of the people in the front lines.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Took 72 hours as a guy. Went to urologist, said snip em, he said how about Monday? Sure. WTF 15 years?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Op is only 18

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Due to several lawsuits previously most doctors will not do it. Also some insurances will not pay for it if there is no "clear need"

10 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 0

If I had wanted a kid they would have made sure that happened. If I don't? I'm out of my mind and have no clue what I'm doing. It sucked.

10 years ago | Likes 294 Dislikes 16

You don't think it could possibly be women changing their minds after having it done?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Having tubes tied is a pretty serious procedure, and kind of close to permanent birth control. 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

For a lot of women, the ability to bear children is near and dear to their identity. Such procedures may be emotionally scarring.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Trans ppl can get their procedures done after 6mo-1yr of living as the opposite gender. I shouldn't have to wait a decade to tie tubes.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You might feel that way. But, your experience demonstraites Docs generally agree THEY don'

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As another female who had to fight tooth and nail and change doctors to make it happen, GOOD ON YOU! Congratulations!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Just curious, so you live in the bible belt?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Do you live in a predominately Christian area?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

It's not always peachy for dudes either. I have two kids, but I had to get counseled and a permission slip from my wife. It didn't (1/?)

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

WHAT?! Wife?! That's messed up...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As in, needing your wife's permission is messed up. Not as in, having a wife being messed up. Sheeet, you know what I'm trying to say

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

take the amount of time yours did, but it felt demeaning like I don't have control over my body. Definitely felt judged for no reason (2/2)

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

<.< You have all the control over your body. You can't force a Doc to perform medical procedures on anyone. That's their choice.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I think it's the fact that he had to go through somebody other than himself and a physician.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They said you needed a physiological evaluation for not wanting kids? What kind dick faced fuck ball says that?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

the social construct requires fresh participants regularly to nourish itself

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

When my fiancee got pregnant while on birth control the nurses and doctors all acted overjoyed and tried to get us to keep it. Like wtf...

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

Eh

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

My mom was fighting for 30 yrs til this June. She had such bad endometriosis that her ovaries were frozen in place w/ blood & scar tissue.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I'm so sorry for her. It's awful what they'll make women endure because they *might* have a child someday.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry for you as well. She was told she would not be able to have anymore kids after me and they Still wouldn't do it. It's a pain (1

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

and beyond stupid. I'm 30 now, don't plan on kids & because of my mom's condition I am going to be asking for one as well. I won't take (2

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well to be fair. Not wanting kids is flying the face of 2 billion years of evolution...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Just curious where you're located op? I want to get mine done and am afraid I'm going to encounter similar issues.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm in the NYC area and will happily recommend my dr to you if you're around here.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm in Toronto so probably not lol.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's bullshit. They're bullshit. The system is bullshit. I'm sorry about the bullshit.

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 6

You're bullshit! Kidding - you're absolutely right.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

NO. The ability to have children is highly prized. A mark of quality health care is reluctance to perform elective permanent procedures.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

"Reluctance" is not the same as "refusal when the patient is determined". And plenty of elective nose/boob/lipo/etc procedures happen.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

None of those are teh same as sterilization. If one won't make that connection, it's arguable they dont know what their talking about.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's ok. I found a great doctor who listened to me! A nurse got bent out of shape about it but it was done in the end. It all worked out :)

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

May I ask how old you are? I'm 32 and am debating having it done myself.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hate it when people impose their beliefs. "I can't have kids, you should count yourself lucky. You're squandering a gift!"

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

A nurse can go insert a cheese grater rectally.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Lets not give them any ideas, I'm sure that's somebody's fetish

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Agreed!

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

One of the main reasons that doctors are hesitant for younger men and women to have sterilization because research shows that 1/?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

biggest risk factor for regretting sterilization is young age. I want to say 25-30% of women under the age of 26 that had a tubal 2/?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Studies range from .9% to 26% regretting the decision for females, <5% for males. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2492586/

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The largest studies of sterilization seem to fall between 5-8% for women, and similar 5-7% rates of regret for men.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ligation regretted this decision. One the other hand, many doctors (especially older ones) believe that all women should want 3/

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

to have children. Which isn't a fair, or true, thought process. But the newer docs are moving away from it.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And even if you did change your mind at like 26 or 30 or whenever, you could always adopt! Getting pregnant is not the only way to have a

10 years ago | Likes 99 Dislikes 3

This! Thank you!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

family!! Doctors are fucking infuriating sometimes.

10 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 3

It's not doctors. It's patients. We're following national protocol. And we're Covering our asses against lawsuits

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 2

You do the same thing for vasectomies but since procedure is less invasive/less complications, it's not that hard

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

My moms situation was pretty specific and her doctor didn't give her any reason at all that she shouldn't have a hysterectomy aside from her

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

How old were you when you first asked?

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

18.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

A doc who gave an 18 yo a tubal and was later sued by that person for malpractice would lose in a heartbeat.They were protecting themselves.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And patients. How many people regret tattoos?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I requested a vasectomy (for exactly the same reason!) and was scheduled for the next week. What you went through is ridiculous.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

vasectomies are Significantly less risky, and are significantly more reversible.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I also had to wait until I got home for cat cuddles, though. :)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My bro got a vasectomy, no questions asked. I've been asking for tubal ligation 10+ yrs. I'm 37 now and still can't get one.

10 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 2

Even at 37?! Ugh. That's ridiculous. I'm sorry.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

When I got my vasectomy, my wife had to sign a permission slip. It is probably because of silly litigation that it's required at all.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I already told my wife I am not getting her signature. I will find another doctor. My wife doesn't control my body.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

for men, it's more easily reversed, and significantly less risky.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If this was the reason then we wouldn't have breast augmentation, nose jobs, botox, and other cosmetic surgury. Many of these are worse.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

No, man. Messing with a guys junk is crazy rife with personal and legal stuff. Just like messing with a womans fertility.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My fiancé is going through the same shit. Neither of us want kids, been together 14 years, best any doctor would do is an IUD. Bastards.

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

If you're in Michigan I can get you my doc's details for Grand Rapids, he was amazing.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Go to r/childfree on reddit. They have a list of docs that are not assholes.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Any in Canada..guess I'll go look for myself. :'D

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I thought that bullshit was only in America.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ugh, I'm sorry :( If you're in the NYC area I'll shoot you over my doc's details.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

I'm in NYC!!! We shouldn't hangout or anything but yay NYC!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You're in that liberal of an area and still had that much trouble? Wow. So much for body autonomy, huh?

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

My guess is that somewhen a doctor was successfully sued by a client that changed her mind, making it a potential insurance minefield.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I can't get an ablation which would cure my monster periods. I'm 35 and they insist that I can't compromise my fertility like that.

10 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 4

Change doctors! Novasure ablation cut my periods by 90%!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got an ablation at 28... but only after 10 years documented in my chart that i didnt want kids and was of sound mind. same monster periods

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yep, because "pro-life" only applies to life that doesn't actually exist. Once you're here, you have no rights.

10 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 5

You're just a brood mare for the state.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

LOL oh my gosh the drama.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

The irony is that at this point the scarring is bad enough I probably can't have kids without IVF anyway.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

I have a couple of friends going through the same situation, and it's awful.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

35 is the threshold for a "high-risk pregnancy" You need to find a new doctor.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Most insurances won't pay for it before 40, so it's less the doctor and more that. Plus that is based on older studies, so it's not as

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bad of a risk as it used to be. A lot of the risks can be prevented even at this age. I don't really want a pregnancy tho. I'll adopt maybe.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry :(

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It's controlled decently by a pill, but yeah. The second I hit 40 this sucker is outta here.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I wish you the best of luck getting it taken care of!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My mom got a hysterectomy when I was 6. I think she was 42 at the time. Same issue as you. Fight like hell for it, someone will help.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I fully intend on it after I finish my PhD. I can't take time off for surgery anyway & it's reasonably controlled. It's just frustrating.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hear ya. Only person I know who was able to get the surgery under 30 almost died b/c of pregnancy. Something about her migraines.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Vasectomy's are easy to get it seems, should be that way for women.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bodies really are such ridiculous things, but insurance and silly ideas can make them so much stupider.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Moms doc wouldn't give her the pill any more. She ok i want an ablation. Granted she was 45 and had 2 almost grown kids

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well that makes sense, the pill can cause cancer for extended use.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

My mom had issues with this for years and finally went to a hospital and told them she wanted a hysterectomy to end the painful periods and

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

at 36 they finally gave her one. Her doctor was a dick to her after for "going behind his back and against his treatment plan."

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I'm 35, but about to start my PhD so I haven't looked for a doctor to do it. I'm on the NHS right now so it'd be extra hard. (Phrasing.)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ugh that sucks. I mean congrats tho about NHS if it means what I think it means haha

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0