Eomund521
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I finally was able to tell my ex wife I'm detail how what happened between us really hurt me. How a series of really bad choices on her part hurt me and made me feel abandoned. And she not only understood but is deeply sorry.
The last 2 days, she's been flirty and trying to win me back. I can't do it. This was her second chance. She did this to me a little over a year ago.
Problem is, this has re opened all the recent wounds and some old ones. I'm really happy we're communicating again. And I do still very much care about her. But this whole thing has left me as sad as when all the problems were. Because my mind is in a whirl of what if and other hopeful bullshit. Especially when I know there's a string chance it would happen a third time. I do still want her in my life. But as a friend. Which she agreed to. But this really sent me down a spiral.
As much as I still love her. I can't handle being with her again.
Just shouting into the void. Hoping typing this out will help me process this a bit.
I'm okay. Just sad. Fuck 2026.
Cat tax. Friendly neighborhood kitty.
MasterVodo
You should go completely black. For yourself. You do not need to communicate with someone who you are no longer with. There's no point.
weirdsmith
I wonder if trying to remain friends may end up prolonging your pain. I have often stayed friends with exes, but it's not always the best thing for the heart. Especially if anyone has lingering feelings, which it sounds like your ex wife has. Sometimes it is kinder to cut things off completely and allow ourselves to heal.
ScottPaul57
There's a reason she's an Ex-- that's a lesson you don't have to learn again.....
sindail
There is a saying, fool me once shame on you! Fool me twice shame on me.
Think with the head on your shoulders. Not the one in your pants. Ignore the rugging heart strings too. It's sad she messed up her second chance, but you deserve someone you can trust. Best of luck with the outcome whatever you decide.
B0ardski
the drama will never stop.
ThisIsAllYouCouldComeUpWith
Sounds to me like another break is in order. If y'all are meant to be friends, it'll keep for a few months. Get your headspace back in order first.
Leitzout2
I miss my Turkish Van, she's a beauty. The Cat Tax obviously, not the Ex.
azimir
It takes about a year to really recover from a divorce. Until then, it's a hard no with an ex. Even then, there's around 2 billion other people who are eligible partners. Go find one of those and give it a try somewhere else. You'll thank yourself later.
ThePsychAutist
Have you considered therapy? Both personal and couples. If she really is contrite, then you could end up with the best relationship, as you both work everything out together in a structured and guided way. I'm not saying just get back together - that's a recipe for potential disaster - but going through the steps of properly building a relationship will not only restore it, but make it better than before, and no longer in danger of deteriorating to this point ever again.
Eomund521
I tried to get her to talk to a therapist while we were together. Be it couples or otherwise. No dice. She won't do it
ThePsychAutist
Well, then, I guess I'll have to add my voice to the "run for the hills" group. If she's not willing to do actual, official work on the relationship, then all bets are off, even if she's expressing remorse of some kind. Sorry to hear about it. That sucks. Good luck.
HamAdvocate
Don't do it. You'll regret it.
Eomund521
I'm not, trust me. Doesn't take away the sadness. But I couldn't go through that a third time. It would legitimately break me
CongratsYouAreHereNow
It sounds vaguely like she cheated on you. The problem with most cheaters is that they’re addicted to winning people over, because they have a deep trauma that someone in their life didn’t care about them. Unless they get help to address the underlying trauma, they will repeat it over and over. It’s very sad, but it’s not your problem to fix. I’m sorry because I’m sure you’re full of pain around it, just know that the more space you get from her, the faster and better you will heal
CongratsYouAreHereNow
To get back with her after she’s done this twice would be to betray yourself. It’s not your fault she cheated, it’s not your responsibility to fix her, it’s your responsibility to enforce your own boundaries and move on with your life; you only get one. Good luck
TheZommie
It really fucking sucks going through this, try mentioning that you are going on dates when you leave a conversation with her, "oh hey, I gotta go get ready for a date with X, I met her on one of those dating sites, crazy, right?"
Eomund521
I did. I think it might be why she is trying to get me back.
TheZommie
"I wasn't going to cheat on you, obviously I am not going to cheat on X to be with you"
Eomund521
In fairness, my and the gal I'm seeing aren't a couple. And she knows this. But I get where you're going.