10 Places you'll never (and probably shouldn't) visit

Coca-Cola Vault

Where do you put the secret ingredients/recipe of the most popular soft-drink on planet Earth? This multi-million dollar vault, of course. Located in downtown Atlanta, George, the vault is a centerpiece of the World of Coca-Cola museum, and home to the ultra-confidential Coca-Cola formula.

While you can stand near the vault, you’ll never be allowed in. Unless you’re a ghost. Then by all means, cloak-a-cola your way in and read your heart out.

Poveglia Island

Poveglia Island is a lot like Hell, but if Hell was surrounded by more Italian people. The island is located off the coast of Northern Italy and boasts several hundred years of having murderous, plagued and insane people spend their last moments rage-bleeding into its soil. While it’s technically a tad more accessible that certain places on this list, we advise against even looking at this picture of it. Why? It’s extremely twisted history.

To begin, remember that little thing called The Bubonic Plague? Well, back when it was chewing up the world’s population, the Romans had the grand idea to ship all the affected people there to live out their days. From then on out, every time an epidemic came along, guess who was dumped there? Yeah. Sick and dying people. Couple that with the all the folks that died in the fucking mental hospital that was constructed there in the 1920s, and you have an island full of over 100k ghosts. And not the Patrick Swayze from Ghost kind. We’re talking the Th13teen Ghosts kind.

Snake Island – Brazil

When presented with the opportunity to visit a place named ‘Snake Island,’ ask yourself ‘What Would Indiana Jones Do?’. We can’t claim to speak on behalf of Ol’ Indy, but we imagine he’d stay the fuck away. Why? Because the island is literally one of the deadliest places on the planet. It’s estimated that the 110-acre island is home-sweet-home to 4,000 serpents — or one snake for every six-square-yards.

And we’re not talking a bunch of ‘Sir Hisses’ joyfully running amuck. These are Golden Lanceheads, one of the most venomous vipers in the world. Their bite is literally known to melt flesh. So, yeah. What Would Indy Do? He’d stay away from the evil-flesh-melting-snake-orgy-island.

The Vatican Secret Archives

The Vatican Secret Archives is essentially the Popes personal library, and ownership passes from Pope to Pope. While no one really knows all the contents of the V.S.A., it does contain things such as a handwritten transcript of the trial against Galileo for heresy, and letters from Michelangelo complaining he hadn’t been paid for work on the Sistine Chapel.

The importance of those alone coupled with the fact that there’s 53 miles of shelving makes it safe to assume there’s some crazy shit hidden there. Like personal memoirs from Jesus’ pet velociraptor. Probably. And while we could all take a page out of Tom Hanks’ book and break in Da Vinci Code style, it’s probably not worth having the angry albino monk chase you to the ends of the Earth for the rest of your life.

Club 33 in Disneyland

Originally an ultra-exclusive club designed specifically for Walt Disney’s elite guests, Club 33 now operates as Disneyland’s (extremely) private club. With memberships costing anywhere from $12,500 to $30,000 annually, and initiation fees ringing in anywhere from $25,000 to $100,000, it’s likely most people will never see it.

But honestly, who cares? It’s kind of hard to get excited over the love-child of The Illuminati and Chuck-E-Cheese.

Bohemian Grove

Looking to visit/become a member of the Bohemian Grove? Easy! All you need to do is get invited by several of the high-ranking men who are already members, wait patiently on the decades-long waiting list, pay a $25,000 initiation fee, and be into creepy occult/druid-like rituals where you sacrifice ‘children’ to large statues.

If that seems too difficult, just become President of the United States. Or a Rockefeller. Or a high-ranking General. Or an A-list movie star, like Clint Eastwood. Or a business Tycoon, like Henry Ford. Or own one of the more prominent news outlets in America, like CNN. Or just accept you’ll never go there and ride the pine with the other 99.999999% of the population.

Lascaux Caves

Discovered in 1940, the Lascaux Caves are home to over 600 ancient cave paintings that were completed by early humans. The paintings are estimated to be around 17,000 years old, and are the combined effort of many, many generations. They largely depict animals and local fauna that correspond to the Upper Paleolithic time period.

Initially, the caves were open to the public, but the carbon dioxide, heat, humidity, and other contaminants produced by 1,200 visitors per day had visibly damaged the paintings and they declared it closed. If you want to go see art, watch the Emoji Movie. Don’t bring your dirty human contaminants into precious ancient caves.

The Svalbard Global Seed Vault

Located on the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen, the appropriately named ‘Doomsday Vault’ is a seed bank that was constructed deep inside a mountain to preserve the world’s crops and plants in the event of an apocalypse. The vault contains enough seeds for us to repopulate the earth’s flora, that is unless we go all Mad Max on each other.

While Svalbard Global Seed Vault is a curious place to say the least, you’ll never be going there. The Vault is located 800 miles from The North Pole and boasts sub-zero temperatures coupled with round-the-clock security.

North Sentinal Island

The government doesn’t want you there. The indigenous tribe that inhabits the island doesn’t want you there. You don’t want you there.

North Sentinal Island is home to the Sentinelese tribe — the last people to remain totally isolated from modern civilization. Experts believe they are the direct descendants of the first humans who emerged from Africa, and have inhabited the island for more than 60,000 years. Anyone who has attempted to approach the island in the past has been met with spears, arrows, stones, and death.

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Surtsey Volcanic Island

Surtsey Island is a protected natural reserve, that formed as a result of a four-year volcanic eruption betwwen 1963-1967. The island is revered by scientists, botanists, ecologists and biologists, as its formation has allowed them to study the ultra-rare occurrence of plants and animals colonizing a virgin island.

Only a select few scientists are allowed to visit the island — and even then they minimalize their precense as much as humanly possible. Because of this, visitation is not an option. Unless you’re some type of evil asshole Xenomorph hell-bent on destroying ecosystems to ensure your survival. You dick.