catdaddyslim
299462
7438
438
Jan 13, 2017 7:44 AM
catdaddyslim
299462
7438
438
mechanicalchaos
And then I got high. And then I got high. And then I got highhhhh.
Pandaphant
Also, while reading the comments this is who I am picturing
raptorsoldier
Graze it
LONETROMBONE
wombatwobble
Greglee50418725
The insanity of calling the coast guard and them showing up to take that weed(plant life) is mind boggling in the middle of the ocean.
Greglee50418725
Its not a fucking nuclear war head
thecatinahat
Dunno whether to be proud or ashamed to recognize that the E.T.'s eyes/mouth were Nick Cage the whole time.
rainbowmuffinunicorn
#17 420x3+69x3=1467. LIAR!
Thekindofkindlyman
The last one, we can't dump on booze to promote weed. If this is gonna get legalized we degenerates must stick together
TheJzoli
Am I like literally the only one on Imgur who doesn't smoke weed?
catdaddyslim
That's the funny part. I don't even smoke weed.
Luftewaffle
You, me, and OP, it looks like.
DidItForScience
Giving that brick weed to the Coast Guard is a good idea. You look like an honest citizen and destroy that barely compost quality schwag.
SonBro
Not to mention they'll own that boat if you get caught with that bale in intl. waters.
DidItForScience
They can legally pirate your shit in international waters vs. home turf?
SonBro
It's crossing into US waters that is the killer. I've heard of boats being taken for seeds and guys getting 30years jailtime for pounds.
verifiedshitlord
Thanks for reminding me I need to get high, @OP.
ThisIsBrandNewInformation
"Can I uh get a chicken mcjangwich wheel" - me very high, mcdonalds drive through
askmeaboutmysuperpower
Please make some more 420 dumps
tacomastester
Yes
miggy372
#13 ...But how did the pop-tart take the picture?
itiscalledsource
It's a really good poptart
CharlieSpruce
2016 can also be made by doing 420+420+420+420+420-69-6-9
Lifk
The calcul one with (420x3)+(3x69) is nothing close to 2017.
bethanyjjane
Thank god it wasn't just me.
classicgrinder
Afghaniscran
I shouldve read the comments first cos I found a calculatir to try it out
VikingBloodG
I went through calculators and solve for x site even downloaded an app couldn't find anything but 420*4+69*5=2025 that's was the closest
AdamTheAmateur
Steps: 1. invent the universe 2. Install Chrome 3. Hit F6 (takes you to URL bar) 4. Type equation 5. ??? 6. Profit!
CosmicKitten10
But yet the 2016 one is correct
SargntSprinkles
But (420 * 4) + (69 * 5) = 2025 which is coming up pretty soon
Immolator1001
Thatsthejoke.jpg
HeadlessNorseman
Were you high when you did the math?
snivy642
666+666+666+6+6+6 does equal 2016
Orkimond
Instantly went "but 420+69 < 666. This shit is fucking suss".
Thekindofkindlyman
I'm sad to admit that I put it into a calculator...
LuncheonsAndDragons
And that's what Common Core is supposed to do for your brain. (Getting there might be rougher than planned.)
Orkimond
Not from the US, but as far as I dan tell math is taught like shit everywhere.
brookebytheway
I thought I was cool and went to show the trick to my coworkers... FAIL.
TosokTheRodentHunter
but you high af so the math works out
ApidaeEveryday
3 (420+69)
guywhothinksheisfuny
9(140+23)
YsmahelyFilho
You don't say...
TosokTheRodentHunter
but you high af so the math works out
MajesticSam
I got so high the other night I ate an entire family size bag of Tostitos because I liked the crunchy sound
stonnergirl
Story of my life, pal!
achirion
Thaxxus
BongHitsMcgee
Ahhhh how i love my medical marijuana card lol goimg to the store to buy nugs is the best
sockshoesockshoe
Your username lol
BongHitsMcgee
Im so relevant now :D
Cheezeburger
Its actually 2:35am right now. Im snacking on peanutbutter crackers while high.
yourballsareinmyway
the feast of the gods
ThatChecksOut
11:42pm DQ Burger and Powerade.
TheRilla
How on earth do you eat peanut butter when you stoned. My entire mouth feels like it's glued together when I do
Racack
Do you get really bad cotton mouth?
TheRilla
Extreme dry conditions are a reality for me
TheRilla
Extreme dry conditions are a reality for me
Racack
I always got it really bad if I smoked out of anything that was not glass or metal so maybe try changing what you smoke out of
NahhhhTopppennngaaaNaNaMeeesieBaBaaa
That's what she said...
BeerTaxer
18:24, listening to early 2000 music and watching my garlic bread in the oven
classicgrinder
4:17. Poptart and ice cream.
stvbles
10:33am scrambled eggs on toast. a fuckton of apple juice too.
DoorbyTheHouseShelf
6:19am: also a fuck ton of apple juice and all the eggs I had.
ObliviousLemon
6:27pm: hobnobs.
stvbles
damn son I've not had hobnobs for ages but I NEED them
gitarookefka
BRRN BRNN IM YO FRIDGE WHAT AM I DOIN
DoorbyTheHouseShelf
Running?
stevenwonder
i love all of u
IalwaysUpvoteBlackCats
Thanks, I just fucking woke up to my cats breaking my new bong. I'm livid. It was pastel yellow and so fucking cute. Four days old. RIP
JunkbatmainOberbatch
RIP cat ????
IalwaysUpvoteBlackCats
Nah just "fucking god damn it you little assholes. This is why I'll never have children" and so on and so on. They only broke the slide
barbwirelove
i just got a little black skull mini hookah type thing last month, fucker never leaves the side of my couch
IalwaysUpvoteBlackCats
My cats decided going nuts by my couch at 6am was a brilliant idea. My carpet is stained, shots flung everywhere. They broke their perch.
barbwirelove
i am sorry for your loss. i used to have a cat that would sit behind me while i smoked and get high
erikna
Can someone please make a post about how it is/feels to bee stoned and about special things one has to now to get stoned?
kaboosh5353
What the fuck are all the words in this thread...
tolatetocomment
2/ monologue becomes more pronounced. Streams of thoughts seem to connect in a way that they normally wouldn't. Start with a single toke and
sundayturkey
Important thing to know is that if schizophrenia runs in your family you should prob stay away from weed. It's otherwise v. safe, have fun.
ashmenon
The thing I notice most is how my perception of time radically changes. My brain appears to be in a constant state of recalibrating time >>
ashmenon
>> measurement. Also I tend to lose track of my thoughts.
FallingWithStyleSquirrel
Keep in mind that you're fine and it won't last forever, in case you freak out. Also, have activities planned. Something simple like a movie
tolatetocomment
3/ and go from there, don't do it while drinking until you're used to it. If things are getting confusing watch a cartoon or listen to music
tolatetocomment
I actually think the effects of cannabis is 1 of the hardest drugs to describe, every thought seems much more profound, your internal 1/
SerialKitten666
It can help you pay more attention to little details, a bit like tunnel vision. It becomes easier to get fixated on things, esp patterns.>
SerialKitten666
While it makes it easier to think more outside of the box, also helps make it more difficult to have intricate thoughts, particularly good>
SerialKitten666
for blocking negative scenario thinking. It also relaxes your body a lot and can help with aches and pains. Makes food taste bit better>
SerialKitten666
You may notice youre more sensitive with touch, but less so with hearing. Your coordination will usually be off, list goes on.
Johnny5Aces
IHaveNoMouthAndIMustWhistle
I would also like to know this.
OfMiceAndMenus
Weed's been legal here for about a month now. Nobody's dying, nobody's robbing people. Snacks are on the rise, but it's a good time for all.
PunJedi
Having lived in Greenfield and Montague for a time when I was younger, I am so happy and SHOCKED that they legalized it there. Good on ya!
BoxesofFoxes
Massachusetts?
OfMiceAndMenus
Yuup.
FarceMajeure
I'm job hunting so I can't even enjoy free weed right now. Could have tried my first dab over the holidays, but no, I gotta pee in a cup
akillha
im pretty good at passing drug tests aswell
akillha
take a 2 multivitamin drink a gallon of water like an hour before your test.
akillha
the pee will be 99% water but the vitamin will give it colour only works for instant test send away ones are a bit harder
akillha
catch the middle of your stream aswell
Goatflakes
Why people put up with this level of degradation is simply beyond me.
FarceMajeure
Desperation to get all my bills paid after getting fired out of the blue from my last employers. No warning, just bye.
Goatflakes
I know, but people are weak. At a work place most will cave. If even a significant fraction didn't, it would be unteneble. I was a 1/2
Goatflakes
factory worker once and the casual employee union rep. The hire company (Manpower Inc) tried to pull that shit I said the entire site 2/3
Goatflakes
will go out on strike. I was talking out of my arse and most of the employees would have had no problem complying. But needless to say 3/4
MissTeshna
"Giggle bush" xD ..My new favorite word(s)
10101creepycreep10101
Jazz cabbage?
JunkbatmainOberbatch
Friends and I one day referred to smoking as being silly, so we dyslexified it and now we go "see billy" instead
djinaspeedo
I am still laughing from that!
YukonGold
At work I helped a man do pension forms online. He & his buddy reeked of pot. They cheerfully helped the 20 min forms take over an hour. 1/2
frumpee
Make this story into a post of its own and you will reach the front page
Hotdogs69
Yes
SndorPall
A story that should not go unnoticed...
YukonGold
Then they tried to tip me, and I told my client to instead take his buddy to lunch. They couldn't b/c people would think they're gay.
YukonGold
3/2 I told them that they'd look gay only if they sat side by side, if they sat across from each other they'd look like regular guys
YukonGold
4/2 sharing a meal. They were thrilled with this info & went to eat. I left work reeking of pot & took the bus home.
Itouchthefishy
4/20* FTFY
YukonGold
Thanks!
akillha
Ok guys! if you drop chopped up weed on the floor and you wanna get it back get your vacuum cleaner and put a sock over the pipe and vacuum!
Dumfuc
My friend just lit up part of his carpet and smoked it. It was funny as hell.
iAmKiNg777
Bro u just became like the Jesus of weed, u came to save us and guide us.
kelevrah
Nice! Are you dutch?
sciencebasedlifeform
imatsor
MVP
TurkalinderPoodle
Are you fucking kidding me?! So much cod have been saved!
howuuuuudoin
Are you god?
akillha
eeeewwww nope
Anfalicious
I was going to post this... Didn't realise it was such needed advice. Even better is a minivac and a tissue.
LincolnSiixEcho
I'm good on the headache carpet weed
ElPenedeMuerte
gogofemalebodyinspector
Fucking genius
SchwettyBalzac
You're the hero every stoner deserves.
justanotherhippynamedcosmicsomethingoranother
First: great, I mean brilliant idea. Second: don't drop your chopped green onto the floor. Simple, but effective.
digitalutopia
Or just dump and wash the container, and vacuum it up normally.
akillha
sounds like hard work
DasNoodle
That only works if your carpet is clean. I have made the mistake of smoking dropped buds and it wasnt pleasant.
kakarikoko
MVP
QueenMogs
U r the kind of hero we need
drw16
get this man a goddamn nobel prize
CelticThunder
Or at least some kind of Mobil prize, right? Right? I'll show myself out.
BornIn1968
And then for some reason your smoking bits of hair
SkeletonWarGeneral
Doing the lords work
dewsey
God's work.
Automatomatic
You're my hero.
tachonium
Coffee filter
OiCuntComeHere
.
Spaceygirl84
Thanks for this lifehack
Bortus
Came down here to say this! I was told to use tights or something though. Less smelly.
gothraki
Depends which part of the tights ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Bortus
capetowninterloper
You've changed my life.
mostadequatebboy
Take a pair of the girlfriends tights. Also works and it's thinner so you don't get crumb stuck in your foot glove:)
OriginalCommenter938
.
Ririmilanceleste
MichaelEvenhuis
Wow
Noooooooooooooope
You beautiful, beautiful human
ComradeSovietBear
This is absolutely genius.
akillha
You're welcome.
Shitposting2017
Not the here we deserve, but the hero we needed
RufusTheNakedMoleRat
you're my new favourite random person
ionlyhaveonetesticle
BunterTheMage
Both comments get upvotes for your wisdom. It's like what you do for broken glass, right?
tumblrcansuckmybum
And for finding contact lenses and needles. (Sewing needles...)
ToenailCheeseMan
And meth!
crazymojomonkey
yeah not to mention you'll also be smoking dander, dust, carpet bits and any other form of nastiness that's accumulated on your shag, smokey
akillha
uhhhh i guess so
BeStillB
My god man, Brilliant!
AwolxRebel
My man
thebluestthingsonearth
Then spend an hour picking out all the hair.
FloodingWaters
smoke da hair! if drinkers can have the hair of the dog, why can't smokers benefit as well!
stevenwonder
dat's da best part
tumblrcansuckmybum
Or just vacuum more.
settlezsupreme
Yeah it only works in theory, in reality it's a bitch. And a sock? Tissues work better
crazymojomonkey
that's stoner archaeology
tesimps
Da real MVP
TheMightyHerring
Don't grab the wrong sock.
stardy
a single hair makes it soooo harsh. its a lost cause
MST3K81
thebestdamntaco
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Grimace84
#protips
at0micSunflower
Instructions unclear, my floor is clean and my pipe is in a sock but I still have no weed. Please advise
purgeplanetsurvivor
Lol 100+ replies to this gem of wisdom
kosmonaught
You sure need to have kids with all them knowledge.
ShadowXII
Use a stocking. The ground weed sticks to socks.
KanaeKagari
.
1philthy1
DeadTuesday
Yeah, but what about all the imaginary crack i'm not finding?!??
jakel251
.
SamJauncey
My God...
Therearetoomanyusernames
saucysosig
Sweet tip
metzershmit
Juat buy a weed magnet. I'll aell you one for $30
metzershmit
Just* sell*
toomanyorifices
.
RoymanHenryburg
Weed hack
OfMiceAndMenus
How to get a pile of dust/weed/hair to smoke...
MrMooobs
You Roll that shit up, you light it, and ou cough your fucking lungs out
ireallycantthinkofausernamesoitsthis
youre a good man
TheOfficialPubicWigOfImgur
Dryer sheet might be a little better than a sock.
Solkanarmy
but my sock doesn't fit over the vacuum...
ReloadedGaussCannon
That is a fantastic solution..
dsl4241
.
edasm
Hah! No way. Roll up a hundy and snort them marijuanas out of the carpet!
ireallycantthinkofausernamesoitsthis
youre a good man
juffowup00
Dude, you should design rockets or something!
TechnicallyRight
Fucking Noble Prize of Engineering!
wysmith777
Oh my god
MosEisleyPhotography
OMFG! You are the man!
LaughingTree
Missyfit160
BitchinBotanist
Can verify that this works - for science of course
jshimoskie
https://media.tenor.co/images/7d516bc5e3342f3419addc19c335fb0f/raw
amop
<<<<333
timewizardtreats
iamprobablyhigh
AnElementofIrreducibleRascality
letstalknews
You the real MVP.
Skliple
Why is this not #1 comment of imgur?
AntyTheShark
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Genius-Genius-Genius-Fat-Guy-In-Mr.-Deeds.gif
Runtobefreenottoflee
Fuckin lifesaver
MajesticChickens
Youre a saint
poopcityremix
this does not work
akillha
Tryed and tested fucko
frankyj16
You are gonna lost alot of tricomes...at that point is it even worth smoking dirty weak carpet weed?
MarTurasMe
let me make sweet love to you after I pay for a 3 course meal
akillha
ummmmm im gratiful but will have to decline
DerFinne
From the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU!!
PunTheJewels
But wouldnt it remove the majority of the thc crystals? :0
Kollektivavtalet
I see an Engineer!
MrUnderstooD90
You could end up sucking up the keif though.
anywaysthisoneatemice
Has no one else seen the meme? I mean I'm down for spreading knowledge but dude slow your roll it wasn't your idea
akillha
Woah sorry brah no I haven't. Necessity is the mother of invention. Wasn't claiming a world first or anything jeez
stevenwonder
nor do they claim exclusive ownership of said idea
jimmzdogtropolis
Then you roll a blunt with it and sell it to your little brother
akillha
It came to me when I was high as a kite and I spilt the last of my weed for a scoobie
Souljah42
Are u the Spanish inquisition? Because intelligence of that level in this medium is a rarity.
llamallary
Fuck no. So much dander, hairs, dirt ect. No. Just no.
RobertNAdams
I don't think I've ever been desperate enough to consume something that fell on the floor. I can't picture doing it. =\
akillha
you sir are a lucky man it was the last of it in our share house and i spilt it everywhere.
RobertNAdams
I used to smoke cigarettes and I've dropped my last smoke on the ground. Just can't do it, I find it disgusting.
DirtyMikeAndTheBoysHavingaSoupKitchen
I love you!
MyBigCups
Now this is a person who has smoked at least two whole Marijuanas.
rockyz0321
Socks or if available, panty hose
shimieme
Girlfriend not included
ohnonotthisagain
This. Maybe double wrap it to try and prevent crystal loss as much as possible?
RelartOfGivia
Coffee filter
ceemars
Pantyhose will work better. Heh..."panty."
yougotredonyu
I usually just spread honey all over myself and then roll around on the carpet ... after that I let the honey harden and pluck off the weed.
wysmith777
That's how dabs are made right?
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
Smart!
dagnall
I'd love to see this please
yougotredonyu
First I'm gonna need some honey
JunkbatmainOberbatch
SMUCKIN FART
akillha
i laughed a little to hard at that
yougotredonyu
If it works it can't be crazy right.
DerpyWerm
If it's stupid but it works then it's at least a little less stupid
yummypasta
Dunno, I don't prefere smoking my blunts with dust and all the other shit lying around on the floor.
DidItForScience
Also, make sure you keep your place clean and don't have any shedding pets.
crazymojomonkey
or a pet that drags it's butt across the floor!
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
What fun is that
queenoflurking
Exactly.
MileHighLivin
Plus bonus dirty sock weed. Just legalize it, guys. Takes a generation or so, but then you can grab it on your way home from getting milk.
elosch
I wish my country would legalize it, but I don't think it'll happen. Ignorant population + rising of extreme Protestantism.
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
I do love me some dirty sock weed
OneShucklak
The stuff dreams are made of
Thaxxus
I can do that where I live
akillha
You are so lucky getting to choose strains and stuff I'm jealous
afriendinneedsafriendindeedafriendwithmemesisbetter
There are so many I just go in and get the cashiers to help me pick something. They usually know what's up.
Ideatdatasslikeacupcake
Isn't it the greatest feeling ever
pineappleprince
Yeah it's pretty fun I have to admit.
bkeljda
Agreed. Got a bowl waiting for me once i finish eating
llamallary
Same.
HelloMax
....that's literally what we're doing
futuremonkey
Mark my words, Trump's attorney general is going to go full-throttle against marijuana in states where it's currently legal.
MileHighLivin
A few states at a time, sure. But us Coloradans got swarmed by people who'd rather move here than vote for their own recreational.
RoseTylerKillsDaleks
Why are everyone's socks dirty? Do your laundry you weirdos.
MileHighLivin
Sorry, meant the dirt on the floor. That vacuums are designed to pull up
RoseTylerKillsDaleks
Ooooh gotcha! Nasty I didn't think about that.
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
Mile high livin! Love it
SAIKOsean
Washington can do that already.
sailingtowesteros
But does that solve the problem of clumsy stoners dropping stuff?
catdaddyslim
Absolute genius.
IHateTrumpButNotYou
Down voting your comment to get you closer to 420 upvotes
CaptainMalcolmReynoldsIsWhatINamedMyDog
As if I'll remember this when high
imheretofuckspiders
You will when your down to your last chop and drop it on the carpet.
haironmyarm
I use the screen for my buster and it's already back 'home'.
Gemini4Dignity
You sir are truly a stoner..
catdaddyslim
What's great is, I don't even smoke weed.
SmokedToMuchOfTheMarijuanas
The thing is, you suck up al the stuff people get high from. THC. As a Dutchie I smoke my fair share
Shirtless
yea if you wanna smoke carpet bits and crumbs... i should clean my apt
Gemini4Dignity
You sir are truly a stoner..
Samssss
or just roll up the carpet
Justwannagetoutofhere
I appreciate you
ashmenon
Absolute winner.
Wormbo2
Ayyyy lino
emmalouisewithknobblyknees
Omg
izzzlunchtime
Fucking poetic
MyNameIsRelevantBecauseYoursWas
Yyyiiiss :)
MeLlamoBreezy
llunatical
hey, have you seen my muffins?
ipointoutrepeats
You sir are truly a stoner..
ipointoutrepeats
You sir are truly a stoner..
Thisaccountisforlookingatthingsonimgur
All proper stoners are legit engineers when it comes to all things weed.
luciferspicer
https://media.giphy.com/media/LzyExpCrpgN2g/giphy.gif
Thisaccountisforlookingatthingsonimgur
Yes, exactly. Where there's a will there's a way.
Thisaccountisforlookingatthingsonimgur
Sorry...sorry.where there's a GILL there's a away.( I'll see myself out)
reanbean
Seriously though. My roommate made a bowl out of a banana. And then constructed a bong out of old cranberry juice bottles. Amazing.
Rezanon
I just remember my friend asking me for any piece of fruit in the house whenever she came over. Like a fucking artist...
Rezanon
I just remember my friend asking me for any piece of fruit in the house whenever she came over. Like a fucking artist...
ShadyDub
I remember those days. Ahh, good times. Good times.
5P4RK4
My highschool nickname was literally "German Engineering" for this reason.
Thisaccountisforlookingatthingsonimgur
Ha...Yes, I remember constructing many weird and wonderful contraptions a youngster.
5P4RK4
I made a completely modular bong out of nalgene bottles and paintball parts. Pipe snapped into a bong with differnet hookah / chamber lids
alexcarrie
Smashed my bong last night, knocked my weed over on the way down and the bong water spilled all over it.. absolute disaster.
Insideanus
RIP
Takavos
Do you have any clue how many bongs i broke just by cleaning them, as a matter of fact i think i have only dropped one and it didnt break
TraceOfHumanity
My condolences.
Billywonderful
Maaan. Go and buy some glicerina USP from Walmart it's in the pharmacy. Add all the wet weed to the glicerina let sit for as long as you
Billywonderful
Can. Like months. Every day shake it mix it whatever, keep it air tight, keep it out of the sun. Then run it through cheese cloth. And press
Billywonderful
As much oil out as you can. Take the mixture add a few drops of vanilla extract to it. Mix and add a spoonful to coffee or cookie mixtures
Billywonderful
Or add fruit flavoring and vape it. Either way it's not bad
LordMotherfuker
Look at the bright side bud, at least you have 78 imaginary internet points now
alexcarrie
That's ALMOST worth the lost weed.. almost :(
DoAllYourDrugs
I shed a tear reading that
himherenowno
I hope that at least happened on a non carpeted surface. Spilled bong water is the worst smell I can imagine
alexcarrie
Nope, aaaall over the white carpet
himherenowno
That's a disaster! I'm sorry
JunkbatmainOberbatch
We've all been there once, mang - actually i havent smashed a bong yet so knock on weed. or wood?
Youkidsandyourdankmemes
Soak it in weed.
BongHitsMcgee
Im crying for you
ChewSoap
Sounds like good incentive to turn your life around
SonBro
Turn your life around and get a new bong.
ThatChecksOut
Found the christian.
umpbumpfizz
Have you ever spilled a bottle of alcohol, knocked over the fancy glass you were drinking it out of, and broken it? Turn your life around.
ThatChecksOut
You fucking rock.
ChewSoap
No, I don't drink
umpbumpfizz
Well shit. Then you DEFINITELY need to turn your life around. Loosen up for once in your life mate.
ChewSoap
Nah