FckfacevonClownstick
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Jul 22, 2016 1:05 AM
FckfacevonClownstick
87721
3036
140
Darthmittens
Makes me think of ultraviolet and the disposable phones
ShouTuckersGhost
ITT: Extremely gullible people
Standingranby
How is this different than Photoshopping someone's butthole away?
aerodynamit3
I appreciate this. I do t like quitters. That's why when my car runs out of gas I just buy a new car.
TherosHawk
Can't you just use one of those chargers you just place your phone on?
OThatJuanGuy
Wait! What happened to wireless charging?
paintingagency
Apple doesn't have it therefore it doesn't exist? I have a $6 wireless charger for my Nexus 7; I'm sure Apple will sell one for $80 someday
Marine23
You better get a (Steve) job
lorenzovonmatterhorn
No more messy cords to deal with
Shutupbabydick
Is this for serious? No more charger port?
PenguinRoyalty
Yes, this is absolutely serious. They plan for the battery to last about a month
UrsusDerpus
No, it's a joke.
JShea50
"Omg so innovative!" - trendy iPhone users probably
rkwfxd
Powered by nuclear fusion?
FiddlesUrDiddles
I mean, I guess the small amount of internal space saved can go to other hardware, but c'mon. I feel pretentious just looking at this.
wh33lm4n
The more practical benefit would be inherent waterproofing, but apple doesn't seem interested in that
godverdomme
i remember the 6 being kinda waterproof, just well built but they don't claim it because people will call in showers
anotherdickat
Do you actually expect them to do something that might possibly result in lower total sales?
VoltageXL1
Obviously not, an insane amount of revenue is from broken devices, so why would they make their phones durable? Theres a reason they shatter
cutthroatink15
Considering Samsung has done it already they may decide to start using it before it's too late, probably on the next phone they roll out
Treblaine
He always reminded me of Barry Shitpeas
TheWolfofUsersub
And people will still rush to buy it.
Mikeybeeee07
Hey! Some people actually take pleasure in watching people freak out over 2 year old technology. Leave us alone.
HEXADECIMAL
Haha, this is so tru and funny.
ShirouBlue
Let people waste their money!
godverdomme
Indeed, people are smart enough to know what they prefer
LogicDude
Always relevant to any Apple iAnything http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apple
bagodonuts602
Good logic dude
MrDevilsAdvocate
I don't understand this shit, Samsung people are exactly the same but Apple is the only one getting hate
WeGotCookies
Every company does it. Different is that Samsung and others changes just enough to make it feel like a new phone.
MrDevilsAdvocate
So does Apple, except for the S models obviously, every generation was drastically different
WeGotCookies
The S line is prob. one of the problems. And valuing design over high end hardware. Why not a bigger phone with better battery etc?
MrDevilsAdvocate
Well its obviously what the people like, and the hardware is obviously there, all apps run smooth without hiccups
MrDevilsAdvocate
And I don't see the problem with the S line, forces them to come up with more and better shit to put in their phones
Ketheres
I'm a Samsung person but I get a new one only when my old one is unable to carry on.
MrDevilsAdvocate
Thing is like I was getting new phones every 2 years with the Verizon upgrade anyway, except now I found what I like people are dumb
Ketheres
Well, I would have liked to keep my old one, but it got kinda ran over by a tank... JustMilitaryAccidents.
godverdomme
same here iPhone 5 for 3,5 years.. might upgrade to the 7. Phones are like computers, replace them in 4/5 years
ButterscotchCavalry
Aluminium
brushybrushy
It's ok, it's powered by a small piece of radioactive material. Lasts forever.
razetherunner
"and i know this, because one of our briefings was titled 'don't dig up the big brick of plutonium, Mark.'" -Mark Watney -Matt Damon
fractalsphere
Watch, this will be an actual announcement when Apple tries to push a wireless charging standard on people.
Kimozabi
If they do wireless charging like their watches, I'll be happy.
Starcatcher1986
Induction?
RandomAbscessMemories
I'm 95% certain they won't actually drop the port any time soon. Too many of their accessories use it and need to draw power from it.
buttcreambandit
It's the only reasonable answer. Let people circle jerk tho
rashdanml
Yup, supposedly comes with wireless charging.
OtterlyMagnificent
That's supposed to be new? My Android came with it three years ago.
TheRealDrSteveBrule
Whatever phone you keep in your pocket is better than everyone's else's poor choices. Never forget that.
jrau18
Nooo, I pretty much hate my phone.
godverdomme
then get a new one
jrau18
Because I'm just made of money.
AuroraNora33
I have to wait 2 more weeks before it's released
doublekross
Even if its dead?
MetaphoricalFox
yes. it's your poor choice, not someone else's. So, it's better.
cutthroatink15
I'm planning on buying the s7 edge soon, eligible for an upgrade now, but these are pretty stupid, just let people enjoy things
MattCavner
Former edge owner, proceed with caution. The edge screen is delicate and expensive to replace. $270 to repair for the s6 edge+. Phone had
MattCavner
Bricked, sent it to samsung since it was under warranty. They refused a software restore unless I paid to repair the screen which had barely
MattCavner
Visible hairline fracture that I got randomly (didn't drop it or anything) bottom line, fuck the edge and get a regular s7.
cutthroatink15
I've got no problem there, buying it with a new MasterCard that offers to pay any damages done by anyone, within 90 days of purchase
cutthroatink15
Asked the representative and he explained it as "you could walk out of the store with a flat screen, drop it, and we will pay for it"
brueberbeck
How do you transfer data to a computer then?
paintingagency
Android has a wifi file transfer utility (or "app" as you darn kids call them)
brueberbeck
not every computer has a wifi antenna
godverdomme
do people still do that? I thought that after phones became powerful enough and connected to the cloud no one kinda did that anymore
Odb718
I think you mean Mac... you just buy the wireless adapter silly.
SerIceTheDemon
Did you know: Apple app developers have to pay 100$ a year to keep their app on the store, weather it's successful or not.
SerIceTheDemon
While android has a 25$ one time payment.
Achedb0b
Meanwhile on windows phones it's probably something like YOUR ETERNAL SOUL.
SerIceTheDemon
It's actually identical to Apples, with the exception of: after you upload 100 apps, it cost 20$ / upload. No matter the cost of the app.
SerIceTheDemon
Microsofts might be better in that respect, because if you get the mobile license, you can develop Xbox games and Mobile apps.
SerIceTheDemon
Something that is identical through all three companies though, is the transaction fee: All three take a 30% cut out of all payments.
Papakeecha
I've been an iPhone user since it first debuted in '07. I will never switch, the user-friendliness and simple design is perfect.
cutthroatink15
Inb4 all the android users downvote you because your opinion differs, and maybe me now too
CouldHaveBeenHitler
Hey, why not? Downvotes are for disagreeing, right?
cutthroatink15
Well technically yes, but it's not like they were saying anything wrong, they just prefer iphone, disagreement for disagreements sake
Viperions
Aren't down votes for not contributing to the discussion, not disagreeing?
LokiTDD
User interface is nice, phone is far from perfect though, constantly out of storage full of apple apps i don't want but cant delete etc.
bijomaru78
Yeah right, Android never ever ships with apps you can't get rid of ...
SINisterWyvern
iOS 10 lets you delete them. It's in beta now
LokiTDD
awesome
LokiTDD
but i guess i can always delete my music, apps, photos and messages i mean it's not like i want to listen to any of the music i've bought...
CrabWallet
You buy music? Do you want to show us pictures of your grandkids?
LokiTDD
i do indeed buy music because i'm not a jakey prick
CrabWallet
Hilarious.
PepperPups
Just put it in the microwave.
Thisismythrowawayaccountokay
You mean Jon Ive?
ctown2497
I put my iPhone in the microwave and it's still cold in the middle
ABlastFromYourPast
Hey, congrats on making top comment!
PepperPups
Your profile worked. Made me smile, thanks.
HumptyDumptyTrumpty
How long works the best?
sonotfunnyName
A good minute.
OneMoreLagerAndIMightLearnToLikeYa
Thanks man, since I need to charge overnight I'm just leaving the microwave on all night. Goodnight!
adventuresofgooglyeyes
Only for Pokemon GO. No charge, only GO.
lordasshat
you my friend deserve more internet points than i can give. My phone charges so much faster in the microwave. Thank you for your tip.
SodaBread6
I give mine a zap before I go out looking for Pokemon. The battery life seems to last a little longer.
Scaros
If you put it in the microwave, pokemon eggs will hatch too
SodaBread6
No kidding?! I'll have to try that!
2pillows
I usually drench mine in Gatorade, that way it gets more electrolytes
Bman8444
It's what iPhones crave!
ruferto
remember, you have to put lordasshat's phone in the microwave, not yours. it works better that way
PepperPups
Funny you should mention that some petty mother fuck 30min ago downvoted all my shit. Think it's because I made fun of some kids neck idk...
graehall
Apple are way less gratingly dishonest and full of utter shit now compared to the Jobs era. He was so fucking unlikable, & it tainted 'em.
Sugarblade
TAINTed
kmikl
No less full of utter shit though.
SterlingMaloryArcherr
What do you make of the article where Apple admitted to slowing down older iphones?
OdinYggd
Except Steve Jobs was one of the founders of Apple. It wouldn't exist in the form it is today without him. Towards the end he got greedy.
graehall
Except nothing. And no shit. It's precisely why I chose a very strong term, era.
aPokal
And now goes more along with industry norms, like the latest macbook has an usb-c port that does work with non apple cables.
graehall
I think you mean its benefit is the premium quality cables it uses instead of common compatible standards compliant non-premium quality. :P
aPokal
Excuse me, but your sentence read to expensive and completely flow over my wallet. Would you be kind and rephrase in more affordable terms?
graehall
It's not about money, or tech babble, it's about the experience we provide, about the feeling our products instill. That's why you pay more.
kmikl
OH my God... IDK why you're getting DVed, but it's brilliant.
pronoun
1st iphone headphone jack was 3mm but inset so only apple headphones could fit. So fucking shameless. That was my last apple product.
graehall
I remember when I had finance for tech for my company, to buy shit I needed, I got an iPod too. I thought the headphones were broken /
graehall
I didn't have much of an opinion of Apple at that point, but god damn, under Jobs, just all surface no fucking substance. So dishonest.
likehelly
it was only because of jobs that Apple even became relevant again. without him they would have gone bankrupt.
graehall
That is absolutely true. Equally true is he was a terrible human being and an inveterate liar. The world is a complex place.
godverdomme
i would say most top leaders are like that
graehall
That whole iconic white headphone image? Yeah, they were $10 at best headphones, that were white. So utterly terrible & cheap. Superfcial
LaronX
Putting aside the software, non of Apples hardware is worth there price, but the same is true for most Companies. You pay for the Brand.
graehall
I was so excited, I got a gen 2 just as it came out, unboxed, amazing presentation. The headphones were so cheap & crap.
graehall
I legitimately thought something was wrong with the iPod, or the buds. Nope, all style, no fuckin' substance, big price tag. Bullshit :(
isilzha
Their USB DVD drives require voltage way beyond the USB spec so that it will only function on apple devices. "lol fuck standards"
graehall
Which is particularly egregious given they're computers with common parts. S'like they willfully engineer incompatability in to common parts
isilzha
There is literally no reason to do this except to make sure you don't use it with other devices. Not sure if true of current versions.
graehall
A company called Amstrad did similarly, you had to buy their gear, as they reversed m/f f/m every connection in to which you'd plug.
graehall
You couldn't use an Amstrad VGA monitor on another PC, reversed plug. They went bankrupt, dicks. Fuck for-profit enginereed Incompatibility
SuburbanCommando
True that, and the Apple headphones were pure garbage too.
usernameavailabletoday
Look, an Apple disciple!
graehall
No need to draw attention to yourself, you like Apple, lots of people do. Don't be all Jobs about :P
usernameavailabletoday
I left Apple about 18 years ago. Never go back.
graehall
As a gamer, and purchaser of my own computing hardware, I never joined. Run far less programs, far more expensively, far slower? No. Just no
usernameavailabletoday
Yeah, I got on Apple for my first sound designer job. I didn't even had a computer. Was my boss. Never chose it free will. Never will.
LordCommanderTomSnow
Phones are different than Personal computers.
graehall
5tarkiller
I will eventually get to wireless charging
wh33lm4n
Honestly, they will probably do away with the charging port once they have wireless charging. Just give it a few years.
ceilingrrr
There already is wireless charging for the Samsung Galaxy s6 and s7
wh33lm4n
Yeah, I have one. iPhones don't have wireless charging yet, and Samsung isn't arrogant enough to get rid of the USB port right away.
godverdomme
haha Do you think this is real?
nekozuki077
I don't think they will. USB C 3.0 charging will be fast and more efficient by miles than Qi charging. When finally implemented.
wh33lm4n
I think you're right; my gut says that in 5 more years wireless will have close enough to caught up. Like SSDs caught up to HDDs eventually
th3goodj3rk
This isn't satire?
anotherdickat
Yes but not by much.
TydenS
It is satire.
th3goodj3rk
God bless satire.
FlackJacketSnackCracker
Oh my sweet summer child
th3goodj3rk
Oh, please.
jarjarbinkswasthebestcharacterinstarwars
It is satire but I believe they are removing the headphone jack so who knows, maybe the charging port will be gone by iPhone 10
Catdog94
Ultra long lasting battery with solar panel backing.
AddictedToCycling
Wireless charging on an iphone would be a cool thing...
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
headphones will still be usable via lightning connecter.
jarjarbinkswasthebestcharacterinstarwars
So you'll have to buy either apple headphones or an apple approved adapter for them to work properly
dhaskjdhawyajhdbsdbgwakjhbdnmcckclkklkl
I figure like, every other iphone ever shipped and sold, it will come with a pair of headphones.
PartyParrot
So you can't use headphones while the phone is charging?
jarjarbinkswasthebestcharacterinstarwars
They're only mediocre earphones and I like my headphones like I'm sure a lot of people do, I'd prefer to be able to use them