ib0b
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Jul 5, 2016 12:29 AM
ib0b
52087
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135
RepostFromLastWeek
You expect me to read all these words on image sharing site? Fuck you.
Puppydonk
All my family gatherings end up as sleep overs cause we all too drunk to drive.
EnvoyEngineer
#BLM. Except that cuttin little moo moo.
sinclair3
BISH
hellotheregovenah
This is hilarious. I imagined Tasha from power reading it. Lol! That sweet sweet voice, but then I saw a guy wrote it...no way mike...js
Saffron89
Jesus fuck it's like the email my mom used to send the bobsledders before our annual BBQ.......
ib0b
Found the source: http://neguswhoread.com/email-family-weekends-cookout/
Therearetoomanyusernames
I wonder if he really sent that out to family. Lol
LetPein
You'd best check your privilege
bigballershotcaller
This is like that episode of spongebob
senorstinky
I know what I'd be using socks and cocoa butter for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
IdreamofflyingbutIamjusttooafraidofheightstoevertestit
I tried so hard to upvote more! This sounds like my family reunions, but no one has the balls to press send.
MileyCyborg
After reading this entire thing in a wonderfully stereotypical sassy black woman voice, my world was thoroughly rocked when I reached "Mike"
SotaGreen
Asian family barbecues are crazy, amirite?!
thatoneguywhoyouthoughtwasryanrenaldssexclamation
CrazyGuyOnABike
LAMPPOSTS
FormerRoustabout
Respek
Therearetoomanyusernames
Family.
TheWorstPirateYouHaveEverHeardOf
I'm a bit surprised you didn't get more comments and each comment being word from the entire story in order D:
NOTAlexJones
Fake
thatoneguywhoyouthoughtwasryanrenaldssexclamation
Thanks.
HerrBisch
Boring.
thekeyislost
Worththeread
GrundyScrubber
I dont wanna hear any off that tl;dr bullshit. You go back to the top and read all of this.
PolarChi
I like Mike
stopstalkingmeplease
Is it okay to write a paragraph and put it in brackets?
jackbos
For the curious: Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, which was the last day of slavery in the United States.
Therearetoomanyusernames
Thanks! I kinda figured that's what it was.
RealScienceMan
I'm more curious as to why they call it Juneteenth and not, June 19th. Juneteenth could be any of 6 days.
jackbos
It's a portmanteau of "June" and "Thirteenth". The thirteenth amendment is the one abolishing slavery.
RealScienceMan
Ahhh thanks.
ChorizoPig
Not really. It's when abolition was announced in Texas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juneteenth
jackbos
Well, that was the last state to abolish it, so that's why it's so relevant. It was the end of slavery in the US.
ChorizoPig
Kentucky didn't outlaw slavery until December of 1865.
jackbos
Oh.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
Hey thats my gfs birthday.
jackbos
Wow, your gf is fucking old.
kingharpy
lol too good not to upvote
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
Lol
LovingGuin
If this is real I want to come and just watch these people
Alis4ndWonderland
This was thoroughly entertaining
GifAsInGiraffe
fun read. Had to google dropping it low.
kanibal
tl;dr
ObligatoryOwl
Classic cookout right here. The only thing missing is the shitty kiddy pool that always gets tipped over halfway through the evening.
Therearetoomanyusernames
And gets full of dirt & grass.
TwoBallsOnePenis
What does "jazz-a-bell" mean, and what is the right word?
pinecone
Jezebel. Used in this context to say woman is a one of negotiable affection... or just otherwise sexually promiscuous.
opitzbzg
Yeah, I thought I was gonna hate it.
vipe650r
I want to go to a cookout with this family.
Noobsauce2184
don't care if its fake, it's just nice to think other families have these kind of problems
overnightbromance
I don't doubt these problems are real, just that anyone would write an email like this to their family haha
Cerinna
Ours just go "Did aunt X pull another bitch move? AGAIN? Jesus christ we hate her" for like the past few years.
Ifyourenotfirstyourelast
If my grandmother knew how to email everyone pre-gathering, we'd get something very similar
keyqueen
I made the mistake of correcting my grandpa just last week as to what my email was. I forgot why he had my old one in the first place.
ofthelathetheswarf
We know its real because he doesn't leave any instructions for his dad..
wolfy123
Well, fuck.
757Spike
I'll bring a vegan dish!
slyfx
So you are brining something for you to eat. That's very nice of you, no one likes a surprise vegan.
watchmeruboneout
757 as in VA Beach?
757Spike
Yes
CrazyGuyOnABike
Y'all people dissing vegan dishes- there are so many great vegan things out there, as long as you don't expect an exact replacement for meat
freshtrek
god forbid someone shows with a fruit salad or grilled veggies.
757Spike
Imgur shits on all things vegan, it's just a thing.
mydamnkidsdontthinkimfunny
Don't like Mike see this! You'll be uninvited for sure
757Spike
It's just another delicious food!
JoreckRJasra
No Tyrone's fiance, you're bringing plastic forks.
Astrogod07
I thought "I'll bet this reply has more up votes than the original comment" and lo and behold it was so
TheGrumpest
You can just say salad, it's ok.
757Spike
But it won't be salad
TheGrumpest
What will it be then?
liesuponlies
That sounds like a good way to get cut by lil moo moo
757Spike
It'll be tasty, he'll love it
amars1111
What... What's "Juneteenth"?
capncait
amars1111
vermil
http://www.juneteenth.com/history.htm Celebrating emancipation from slavery in Texas in 1865.
amars1111
theoriginalshew
Started stupid with the "no Independence day" bullshit but ended good.
Therearetoomanyusernames
Yeah, I thought I was gonna hate it.
MrBananaBeak
Why is that stupid? On July 4th I celebrate my ancestor's independence from Britain. Their ancestor's weren't free.
MrBananaBeak
That second apostrophe:
Upstartpotato
they're American aren't they? it's Americas Independence?
MrBananaBeak
Their ancestors weren't considered Americans. They were the property of Americans. They had no citizenship.
Flossiraptor
Women,irish,nativeAmericans,mexicans, poor white ppl weren't exactly free either but some how manage not to turn the 4th into a social issue
MrBananaBeak
Perhaps they should. I, for one, would love to see my country become more honest about its history.
MrBananaBeak
And to be fair, many native tribes simply don't celebrate the holiday at all.