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Aug 30, 2017 2:35 PM
KeepingRepostStatsBusy
127840
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92
StopCallingMeIAmNotYourBrother
I gave up on sleeping with covers a long time ago, you get used to it.
chippyjackson
Are you out of mind?
Hkafodays
It is the English! That not good is written and so melancholy
Frankinbeijing
I use a stapler
TrueJabroni
I read this with a Russian accent and it sounded perfect
JoelGeek
Shout out to Google Translate for the dialogue, apparently.
lordfluffy
All of their budget went into breasts.
TheLetterKay
Ha. Its reverse in my house. My fiance makes the bed with extra blanket on my side in preparation for him stealing it at night. So sweet.
myweaknessisstrong
How do people seriously share a blanket? I've got mine, my wife has hers. Happy marriage, people.
sahdad
That's why we use our own blankets. That and she wants a thin sheet and I want a big blanket.
RapeTrainInbound
Roll bricks. Add nails. Is ok.
simplefishy
Gonna need a bigger brick
derekjohn
That's half an alphabet from being useful advice.
Cela84
This is the funny.
inzane
As a single male, what?
IamJustinSane
Now is bedtime? He marry Yoda's retarded cousin?
nebula0024
Not enough weight; the blanket would need to be nailed down.
Keyosu
You misspelled bolted
HypnoJack
Well it's none of your business anyway.
SWReefer
The nails would fail. Just get a second comforter
Sticklebrickk
At first I thought he was gonna shove those bricks up her ass
MegaDeuce
Why would you think that??
RomZain
chimchim666
as a human being i like to sleep
Ryang256
Guess I'm just fortunate my wife and I don't have this problem. She's pretty good about not stealing covers.
pleasenope
Well gotdamn why didn't I think of that? Sure beats wildly snatching the covers back and "sleep kicking" my husband out of spite.
fairybug
Doesn't everybody just use separate blankets? My husband and I have been using separate blankets since day 2 or 3.
HypnoJack
Everybody is still on day 1.
MegaDeuce
Don't they bunch up in the middle? And what if you want to spoon?
fairybug
And no, they don't bunch up.
MegaDeuce
OK, I'm sold. Next time I buy a blanket, I'm also getting another blanket.
fairybug
Then we spoon. It's a simple matter of one blanket goes over the other and we meet in the middle.
LilaaK
@gentlemanBart I will go and buy bricks.
NoLongerFoamingWolffo
Now with fewer pixels!
AlliDOiscomment
"Now is bedtime!" Such natural dialogue.
ruferto
this guy is a genious
Nightfireo6
As a female I can confirm this wouldn't work.
baldpope
As a husband, you're right - the blanket's gone by 1am tops
Snooj
As an engineer I can confirm that those bricks will make almost no difference. The blanket needs reinforced grommets and solid guy wires.
Arcfluke
Can another female confirm if THIS would work?
Sveniat
As a software engineer, he probably just had bad requirements.
thatpatguy
As a male,
Cyime
Nightfireo6
It's not so much a challenge as just stating facts. Unless you have a sumo wrestler sitting on the blanket who will occasionally pull back.
thatpatguy
I still think we need to try it out and see. Just to be sure.
Nightfireo6
Will you be supplying the sumo wrestler then?
thatpatguy
dodrian
Two words: separate blankets.
DarkwingDuc
No. A stack of bricks is clearly a simpler, more practical solution.
dodrian
Ok, you've convinced me.
Canadoug
Separate beds
unfocusedmoss
Separate rooms.
NipplesInAJar
separate houses
MissBrightPaw
Separate streets.
gabrielgorriz
Separate neighborhoods.
ImSquanchingInHere
Separate
[deleted]
[deleted]
Leegionnaire
thisisjunk
In my experience "none of your business" isn't a sentence you want to say to your wife if you want to sleep in your bed tonight.
GoGoGadgetBinoculars
I hate this shit. "Happy wife happy life" most irritating phrase.
DarklordDemise
If there is love you can.
TheRealWilson
We can test this out scientifically, I'll say 'none of your business' to your wife then proceed to sleep in your bed. Will record results.
TheRealWilson
My hypothesis is a new variable called 'restraining order'. Need more data.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED2
I tell my wife That all the time. Then she bites me till it becomes her business
thezookeeper
Lol I gotta try that.
gronoth
cuz you're a pussy
Onceanimrodalwaysanimrod1
....or any night!
HappyNukeYearsEve
You still get your own blanket in that case
hereforcake
My ex used to say "nonya" and I hated it. It felt so dismissive.
WitchTrialz
I've never slept on the couch because I straight up refuse to. She chills out and we make up. Maybe you guys should try that
Sogeking
In my experience bitching to a guy who's got his hands full of bricks isn't a great idea either.
GoGoGadgetBinoculars
My happiness is equally important
GasBandit
Judging from the broken english, I'd hazard a guess this is from a culture where women's roles are still expected to be subservient.
notme222
I find it an appropriate response to "Are you out of mind! Now is bedtime!"
doctorbees
As a lady, I don't understand this nonsense of not letting your partner sleep in the bed if you're mad.
thezookeeper
My husband deciding to not sleep with me is just about the best way to make me so much more angry.
MatissesPieces
Nor do I. Such a bad idea.
patotheduck
https://tinyurl.com/yournotsleepinghere
howmanytimesdowehavetoteachyouthislessonoldman
Wow...
mdtrep
Instructions unclear. Ended up on couch.
KrisL187
Hah! When you're terribly alone, you can sleep wherever you want! Suckers! ...wait. 8-(
Smoothops
That's because you're whipped
[deleted]
[deleted]
MatissesPieces
*gets popcorn*
thoushaltnotpass
Too big, won't catch fire.
RyeInACan
It's your bed. This is what I don't get. She doesn't want to sleep with you, SHE can sleep on the couch. Oh yeaaaa... Sex. Forgot about that
gankable
Well, on the bright side, if you sleep on the couch, your blanket (if you get one) won't be stolen.
WumboPower
Do people actually sleep on the couch if they piss their wife off?
MatissesPieces
It should be used sparingly. Like you have horrible farts that night, or she drank too much and won't leave you alone when you have work.
xRHIN0x
Not here. GF is pissed at me, SHE sleeps somewhere else. Same goes for me. Bed is like Switzerland.
Nudelgefahr
It was the opposite in my house. My dad was a raging alcoholic though. Not a nice guy.
Ijoinedjusttodownvoteyou
If I'm still upset after a fight, I'm the one who sleeps on the sofa, and vice versa.
drGrozozo
Or when the come home drunk and snore like a hippo and she kicks me out of the bed.
RichardEnormous
I like Bill burrs response to this idea.
thoushaltnotpass
She can sleep on the couch when she's pissed off. She's the one arguing and she doesn't own the bed.
jpparkenbone
For the record, the reason you got downvoted is for the assumption that the man bought the bed. Not for the first part.
thoushaltnotpass
People assume many things and project their own insecurities on other people. I just meant it's a shared possession.
DarkMutton
Meh, my wife isn't kicking me out of my bed, I'm getting into my bed, and if she's mad at me, she can move.
MinorityRetort
Yep, equality. If I'm every too pissed to sleep next to her I'll go sleep elsewhere. If she's too pissed to sleep next to me, she moves.
QuackQuackAttack
Guest room. I ain't sleeping on a couch
Imnotaclevergirl365
If my husband pissed me off i would sleep on the couch. The t.v. was bigger in the living room and Thats where we kept the weed
The1andOnly2
So you single?
adddaaaammmmm
Torbarian
Tbh I think it's more a myth than anything else.
CanOnlySayYes
yes
GrimTuesday
I've sent my bf to the couch because I didn't want to see his stupid face anymore at the moment.
Terx
Make me.
ZimGenzko
Last time my gf did this it ended in a cocaine fuelled pub crawl on my side just to kiss her off more.Needles to say I call her ex now.
dolphindreamsandsatan
Yes. And vice versa. Although I'd usually go into the guest bedroom...
doctorbees
Why tho.
thezerbler
It isnt about being kickes out of bed. It is about wanting space.
doctorbees
So then I'd argue the person who wants space should be on the couch. Don't make someone else suffer for you.
MasterMirror
Guest bedroom? Well laa de daa
v
ImSquanchingInHere
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
I loved that sketch
dolphindreamsandsatan
¯\_(ツ)_/¯