Spragnort
71901
3959
124
Some less known important facts
Jul 3, 2016 2:34 AM
Spragnort
71901
3959
124
HowardMoonsHotpants
If you're lost AND have a GPS, what the fuck are you playing at?
DesignNerd86
On #8, breaking hard means the nose of the car goes down and the animal may come through the windshield. Keep speed or speed up.
HoovesMcBoozeThePartyCentaur
I cant scream very fast or run very loud. How screwed am I?
ItsyaboyGunny
It's almost like tampons were originally made for small caliber bullet wounds
twfeline
Inflammable means it can burst into flame even without an ignition source.
HerrBisch
Shouldn't it be "If it's white, take flight." I realise your chances are still zilch but "good night" is hardly helpful!
MM2SS
If only Steve Irwin had this list...
MacaroniDeathFork
#14 for sure
ModerateSaiyan
"Inflammable means flammable??? What a world."
crashmcleroy
Hey Dr. Nick
ModerateSaiyan
"Hi everybody."
RaZorwiresc2
14 isn't great advice; playing dead when facing a brown bear should be used as a last resort only.
underdogoverhead
#8 -- insurance covers accidents. Hitting a tree is still an accident.
sallystrutwellMD
Good luck with 13 if you have an anxiety disorder
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
Make me uncomfortable about leaving something and you can make me do anything
FatManWithoutPants
I disagree
TheGrayLanternsApathy
As someone with anxiety disorder, why do you disagree?
CowmanII
Barnes & Noble is going to start selling alcohol so you can also go get drunk
Orangeracecar
Good luck finding a Barnes and noble these days
LeafStorm11
Seeing that there's one within biking distance, I think I'm okay without the luck...
Orangeracecar
the point is to find one in an area you are not familiar with.
Azaarie
I learned from my psychology professor than humans actually have no instincts and it is all learned behaviors.
INeverThoughtIdMakeThisAccount
That has to be an oversimplification or misunderstanding then. There's no way humans have zero instincts whatsoever, we're mammals.
Azaarie
I don't remember a lot of the specifics but it was a very convincing argument that she pointed out. Not sure where to find info on it though
wutnold124
If it's white, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN ANTARCTICA?
Undramatic
Walking down the stairs without the hands in the pockets doesnt sound so bad ass to me.
juniorman00
mocockblock
Thanks, Dwight
amethyst7a
I missed the word "bear" in #14 but I trusted OP so I reread to clarify.
IJUSTMADETHEVOICEINYOURHEADYELL
#2 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH? THAT SHIT HURTS REAL BAD IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED FOR IT.
AfraidOfOstriches
Neck-jab!
AnotherImgurianInsideJoke
It literally killed Houdini
EmotionallyCrippled
During a fight most people are tense and your adrenaline level is high. So that hurts much less. Best strike area is solar plexus.
doubleormuffin
You ever been kicked in the groin, had your ears torn off, or had your eyes gouged out? I'm willing to bet those hurt more.
IJUSTMADETHEVOICEINYOURHEADYELL
THE POINT IS "NEVER STRIKE THE TORSO" IS SIMPLY WRONG. A HIT TO THE STOMACH CAN GIVE YOU TIME TO GET AWAY.
doubleormuffin
They were just trying to get the point across in a concise manner. The vast majority of people can figure out that they mean "Never 1/3
doubleormuffin
strike the torso if one of these other targets is just as easily available". Additionally, when trying to make memorable advice, it can 2/3
doubleormuffin
be helpful to eliminate unnecessary qualifiers. It won't get properly ingrained with that extra information, even if it is more correct. 3/3
KevinBhall
there's no barnes and noble in my country...what are you trying to say OP? HUH?
Spacemayo
#13 I don't get gut feelings. My instincts tell me nothing. I've never had gut feelings other than my stomach constantly burns.
EikonaCloud
That's weird, I wonder what that'd be like
OLIVEGARDENSBREADSTICKS
For bears, if it's smokey, then only YOU can prevent forest fires.
onlyspidermanmemes
SpiralStatic
Uhh that doesn't rhyme
ncbluek9
If it's smokey, fire's no jokey!
redfizzy
When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn. Something something, soon you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe!
benm421
Not everything has to rhyme to be good advice!
misterpyrrhuloxia
*wildfires
Aranyszin
#1 - that's actually what tampons were originally designed to do.
HornetCorset
Thanks for beating me to it.
HerrBisch
What?! In what world is shoving something into a wound a good idea?!
Saxit
This world
Aranyszin
The world where not shoving something into a wound means you bleed to death.
HerrBisch
I've never heard of a dressing that actually goes INSIDE the wound though. That seems crazy.
Braethias
There's quite a few. Tampons the first, now they have giant sponge syringes for bullet wounds. aka tampons
HerrBisch
I don't think a tampon is a dressing, unless you consider a vagina to be a wound...
ZaeMillion
Instructions unclear: Fought a black bear with a tampon in the middle of Barnes & Noble then GPS'd the nearest Riptide.
drsnowbear
Best day ever.
ARandomHelljumper
But did your instincts tell you to get out of your car after hitting a deer while also having a heart-attack and run towards the train?
MarshmallowBomb
How this not the top comment? Upvoted.
raptar
Nobody gonna ask why this list is apparently sponsored by Playboy?
cluckythehorse
It was probably in the magazine.
LongtimeLurker148
Also helps the site get more page views when they have lots of various articles with keywords and anchor text ;) Organic SEO 4 lyfe
jrhawk42
Playboy's are mostly filled w/ articles. Imagine maxim but the articles are actually good.
panamakid
and they don't even have naked ladies in them any more, apparently
mitharas
Fun fact: It took our german playboy less than 24 hours to announce that we will keep our naked ladies.
ZaeMillion
So now people really DO read Playboy for the articles.
EmergencyAbortionSavingsAccount
No, the articles are actually shit. And only like 6 pages tops have naked women on them. the rest is articles, ads and cartoons. Pure shit.
jrhawk42
Historically they've had the top names in writing penning for the magazine. I'm not sure where you're getting this opinion it's "pure shit"
curmudgeon91
Think he was just buying for nudity and then got mad when it was minimal.
DAREALWARBOSS
He sounds salty that there aren't "enuf bewbz".
captainawesomeface
Because they want people to not die so they can buy their magazines.
Hunahpu
#4...if you have GPS, you wouldn't be lost to begin with.
CliffordJohnsonMiller
Have you ever met a man? We like a bit of challenge, and we like to exaggerate our skills. We. Don't use gps unless in distress.
WackyPaki
HighFivesYourFace
I think this is just Barnes & Noble trying to trick us into buying books. NICE TRY B&N BUT IT AINT HAPPENING YOU CRAFTY SON OF A BITCH!
DrSuperMan
Sounds like someone never went on a roadtrip before.
PrismZet
It wasn't for being lost, it's for finding an area to rest, say overnight or to take a break without worry of car crimes or w/e.
an3k
GPS: next 4 star hotel.
AmyBethMegJo
This.
PieEaterer
Weird how that's a worry in the US. In EU you're fine 99% of places. Except Donbas, maybe don't stop there.
athaclena
Maybe if you stay out of cities or the poorer suburbs. 99% is a bit of an embellishment.
Isopor
The US is a big place. Lots of places where you'd be fine to stop, lots of places you wouldn't be.
riversongkagetsu
that's the 1st thing I thought of too. like why are you putting in barnes&noble when you can just put in the address of where you wanna go?
HorsesAreLikeWalkingCouchesWithAnxiety
Being on the road for 19+ hours beforehand and still having 6+ to go usually means you'd wanna stop over for a bit, even just for a nap.
Pirkale
Yeah, just enter "safe rest location" in your GPS, and you're golden... wait, what?
Thisnamethingisdifficult
#6, don't call to a red shirt. They will die and you will still be mugged.
GraAnoisAgusGoDeo
happygirl13
gammadeltat
Found the blue shirt
cannotgetaxeout1
Was being mugged in Atlanta one night and I yelled out "Officer help I'm being mugged", and the guy ran off. There was no police in 1/2
cannotgetaxeout1
The area so I laughed about it as I saw him run like the coward most criminals are.
IfYouOrALovedOneHasBeenDiagnosedWithMesotheliomaYouMayBeEntitl
the area so I had sex with the mugger and we laughed it off 2/2
curmudgeon91
HA! I love that he just left it like that after.
hoomanslayer
.....what
LurkurNoLongur
I got really confused... then saw the differing usernames.
p3aker
Fucking thank you, im so high
MadMasterMuler
Ah I love star wars references
hahahasrsly
I swore it was Crips and Bloods?
Thisnamethingisdifficult
Brips
domenick91
Wait. That wasn't harry potter?
MyHuevosBringsAllDaGrls2DaYardAndDamnRightTheyreCoveredInSauce
Explain please
LurkurNoLongur
It's a Star Trek reference, everybody that wears a red shirt always dies. Also, people tend to confuse Star Wars and Star Trek.
MyHuevosBringsAllDaGrls2DaYardAndDamnRightTheyreCoveredInSauce
I see--thanks for the response. Btw, you just me the almost antichrist sitting at 555 points!
LurkurNoLongur
I will return with 111 more points. Wait for me.
JonSnowsAbs
Oh you
AlcoholicsGratuitous
How does one fill up a pair of jeans with air?
student6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNTSoKg6xHM
Zerphses
Tie the ankles/knees right and zip and button the waist. If you have a belt, use it to tighten the open. Put them in the water waist-side1/2
Zerphses
Waist-side down and submerge your head to blow water into the hole. Learned this in lifeguard training.
Zerphses
(In case you are wondering I am NOT a lifeguard. Took the class as part of a Boy Scout merit badge.)
ncbluek9
That seems like quite the task to perform while drowning!
Zerphses
I suppose it is quite complex, but it gets easier the more it fills.
caunphety
You slap the surface of the water and the bubbles enter the jeans.
MikeMcAwesome91
You're learning lifesaving tips tonight my friend
P00pdalla
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=midnkK_-3Sk
bldl
How do you prevent air from escaping the waist?
burtonking
Tie the ankles together then swing the waistband over your head to capture air in the legs
pilotperson
If they're too heavy to swing over your head (I'm a tiny girl and wet jeans are heavy), duck under them and blow air up into them.
Zheunchain
Tie each ankle, soak the jeans in water and turn it inside out for best results
beonewiththelamp
They teach you this in Navy boot camp really easy actually.
donalbaine
Did it in the army as well.. my problem was I don't float, so I'd just bob up and down holding soggy ACU trousers trying not to die..
MarishkaGinny
I learned it at Girlscout camp.
JackRusselHarrier
They made us use coveralls for it though
jlg5454
Additionally, the BSA teaches this for all lifeguard candidates as well
Sinsilver
Was gonna say, back in my day it was required for the merit badge.
jlg5454
I felt like it was taught for the MB also, but I cannot confirm as the MB req's don't currently reflect that (at least online)
Sinsilver
It's seriously been over 30 years. I think I got both together, unsure which req'd it. Still a little proud of having been able to do it.