TheBloodyLady
88999
2079
29
Sounds about right
Jul 10, 2021 6:20 AM
TheBloodyLady
88999
2079
29
Aslandus
However, neither of them give useful advice, so it's less a moral compass and more like having bizarre commentary over your entire life
ZenToaster
I feel the devil and angel on your shoulder is just visual representation of Id and Super Ego
Zindarak1
the angry viking would be the angel in this i assume
CmdrAdama
Damn 50s, my aunt Susan’s dad went for a walk one night, never came back. Much relief at the house, no one mentions him ever again…
TokuNorth
Fascinating how you felt the need to tell us her name
CmdrAdama
She’s quite a shady lady
Walmartstallwithnolock
Haighcellent
Bjørn the Mighty begins to ask Betty Jean’s about her suggestions, “and you call these small spears ‘knitting needles’?” And takes notes.
seekingdaedalus
Ahh, the ol' Lady Macbeth
Quizz25S
angryscreechingnoise
one of them is recommending the blood eagle. the other is the viking.
GondwanaCraton
Viking suggests stabbing. He suggests the defense of "He kept backing up as I held up the automatic knife." 50's House Wife has no argument.
mormacil
Vikings abhorred murder, it was often punishable by death. Now they of course had legal killings but those are bound to strict rules.
TheBloodyLady
Friendly reminder that not all Scandinavians were vikings. Most were not. Vikings were essentially just Norse pirates.
mormacil
*Privateers, their work was legal. And I never called all Scandinavians Vikings. Vikings are a subclass in Norse culture. Norse culture 1/2
mormacil
as a whole abhorred things it called murder, hidden unjustified killings. By extension that also covers the perspective of the vikings. 2/2
siler7
'50s.
Omnimorph2112
The viking has no concept of law, the housewife constantly giving you cleaning tips on how to get blood out of various fabrics
DwayneTheCrackJohnson
Read in Ragnar voice: "You just holmgang the fucker, you'll get their house and wife as a trophy. What is the problem? I do not understand."
DwayneTheCrackJohnson
"Why do you want to bargain with him? Just slice him open and take his gold and women, his men are sure to follow your ballsy leadership."
enybi
The vikings had a moderately complex system of laws and punishments (mostly fines) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medieval_Scandinavian_law
mormacil
This, @Omnimorph2112 what do you think Danelaw was besides a legal system of the Danes/vikings?
DwayneTheCrackJohnson
"Now, honey, the secret ingredient in this recipe is strong will, determination, and ground glass. And a whiskey chaser."
EvilAbedsBoneSaw
You are going to bludgeon someone to death but there's a debate between using an axe or a frozen leg of lamb
alrightalrightalrightpartyatthemoontower
I got that reference!
Crawmak
And those suggestions could be coming from either one
WebNinja2
Cook the lamb afterwards then feed to the cops that investigate
FattyMcboomboom
That's a great story!
Norwegiansilverback
This makes me think of the Roald Dahl story Lamb to the Slaughter. Great story.
mobius100
"just give him a little arsenic every day until he dies, easy" "BUT WHERE IS THE GLORY"
darkninja2992
I'm probably only going to be able to take out one billionare, so which one do i go for? I probably won't be able to get close to bezos.
demonicjackal
See when you kill a billionaire their money goes to someone else. Which means all you are doing is making another billionaire.
darkninja2992
Well yeah, it's not a full solution, but it's a start
demonicjackal
Killing senators before an important vote now that could have an impact
darkninja2992
Honestly, if someone took out moscow mitch at any time, that would have an impact. Not that i would actually attempt that
GannoMemeSlayer
I don’t condone murder BUT no one would grieve for Putin’s pet turtle. The world would be a better place without people like him.
Lonnze
The Viking wildly overestimates your combat skills. The 50s housewife does not understand that poison is not as easily available any more
BubbaDancer
I mean, how do I know what to buy without Mr Yuck?
SpoilsburyToastMan
And if you know which plants to look for, it's as easy as going for a stroll through the woods.
SpoilsburyToastMan
You've got enough toxic chemicals in your cleaning supplies to kill many people. That's why you're not supposed to mix random products.
SpoilsburyToastMan
Partially why any way... Explosives are another reason.
Gerdalearnedme
Castor plant. Decorative. Lethal. Unpleasant death too, sounds like.
TheNewYellowZealot
Drain cleaner and rat poisons are largely unchanged from what they were in the 50s.
GuyWithDog
Yeah but you're infinitely more likely to be caught for it
CallsYouATosser
CSI makes people think that arrests are made based on forensics. People are found guilty with the aid of forensics, but it's still the 1/
CallsYouATosser
work of investigators that make arrests. And it's never just enemies who are suspects; family, friends, and coworkers all go on the list too
TheUnstoppableWampas
"certain" poisons are no longer available. LOTS of other new ones are.
CaptainKalus
*thinks about Sue Sylvester attempting suicide with a gummy vitamin overdose*
CallsYouATosser
Cyanide in every piece of wooden furniture imported from China, or at least that's on the label. The thing is that we watch CSI shows, and 1
CallsYouATosser
They ignore the fact that the crime is actually investigated by police detectives. They are taught to look at things in terms of motive, 2/
CallsYouATosser
method, and opportunity. Motives can be broken down into either for profit or the culmination of a dispute. Money/emotion. That means the 3/
CallsYouATosser
List of suspects drawn up almost always includes family, friends, coworkers, employees, and employers. When police on TV ask folks if 4/
mcmachack
The Rookie over here thinks Poison is hard to come by. Lol
StormCrowMith
*stares at the oleander bush across the street* hmmmm
Cayowin
Oleander lethal dose is 50mg/kg. Zimbabwe flame lily is prettier and lethal dose is 6mg/kg.
streptovsky
Potassium cyanide is 0.55mg/kg and can be purchased to clean jewelry
StormCrowMith
I gather they leave a nice purchase trace, wild plants dont though
TwoFlower68
Go on...
maskedrabbit
Foxglove
bwehwhatever
It's all about the LD50, just remember to use VPN and private browsing while looking up the household chemical with the lowest value.
Sinodio
just use tor
namAehT
Fun fact: you can dissolve nicotine out of loose leaf tobacco really easy. Another fun fact: nicotine is a contact poison.
notEvenRemote
i remember learning this from csi. insuline is another great option.
LizLittle
And hand cream is a great mother-in-law gift
Pevinsghost
Have to basically bathe in 100mg/mL for lethal. No reputable company will ship 999mg/mL without a business license and tax id on file.
LtKifKroker
namAehT
It wasn't all that uncommon that people would get nicotine poisoning from harvesting tobacco after it rained.
LurkerOfDarkness
Uncle Vladimirs Polonium Tea is a current favourite.
planetfinder
I'm sure in the distant future of 1985 you can just pop on down to the corner store.
LtKifKroker
Oh right polonium. Let me just hop on down to Costco.
LurkerOfDarkness
Don't just get their store brand, it's useless, it has to be Uncle Vladimirs.
Morsalbum
you can literally just get any random amount of shit heroin from any street dealer, such a small amount will OD someone w no tolerance
whooptydoo
and youve got a 50% chance of getting phentanyl to get the pesky tolerant fuckers
Morsalbum
fentanyl isn't that widespread, and certainly not in a way that is discernable. _IF_ you get fentadope youd have 100x less to be 'equal' 0.1
DwayneTheCrackJohnson
Just go to the hospital and tell them you are depressed and anxious, they'll slap you with a two month receipt for quetiapine.
TheS4ndm4n
These days you can get a divorce. No need to learn about poison. And it's actually pretty easy. But also more likely you get caught.
AntRam95
Divorce them, win the trial, then poison them, gives you no motive and lowers suspicion
GuyWithDog
But the damage of being caught divorcing is minimal. I'd go that way
TheS4ndm4n
Don't even have to move to Alaska.
AntRam95
I understood the reference
lordofthegoats
just go down to the nearest river and pick some water hemlock no fuss no muss why do people have to overcomplicate things.
TheS4ndm4n
Can't identify water hemlock. Accidently fed him vegetables.
Feralkyn
Plot twist, it's not the spouse: it's the 17 competitors in the local cake-baking contest she wants to off
CallsYouATosser
Liquid potassium injected through an insulin syringe. If the target is a diabetic, needle lividity during postmortem will be overlooked.1/
CallsYouATosser
The sodium/potassium pump that generates the potential the heart needs to best gets thrown ass backwards. Fatal heart attack. The beauty 2/
CallsYouATosser
is that the sodium/potassium pumping against high concentration gradients through cell membranes, with the continuous inequality to keep 3/
CallsYouATosser
a high concentration gradient being achieved by the higher concentration of the two ions getting pumped into the extracellular fluid, is 4/
CallsYouATosser
that the sodium/potassium ratio will move toward a normal range even after death has taken place. So tox screens of a cadaver are no good.5/