DrGreenskies
40211
941
21
Rufus tax
darkoshen
#1 I read somewhere that all the holiday traditions we remember from our childhoods were created by our mothers.
brainpansonata
#1 and now i'm starting at that pic like it's a Where's Waldo book
likerice
#7 This is exactly how we ended up with three cats.
And then the latter two cats formed an alliance to bully the first cat, the one that we were worried would be lonely đ
ImgurIsOutOfUsernames
"Pedant" has broader meaning than correcting spelling and grammar.
HunglikeaHamster
Mierenneukers !
phonecallformisterhorrible
CakeIsALie227
#4
nyarlathotep777
So, if you avoid Gryla, do you still have to avoid the Yule Cat that eats people who arenât wearing new clothes they got for Christmas? Iceland is freakinâ DANGEROUS
dragoonwraith
#5 Excuse me, Elmo does not say âIâ or âmeââthat should be âTell HBO. Elmo wants them to know it was Elmo.â
IceWeaselX
#13 I hope one day someone decides to open it up and investigate the liquid source. Like that one "holy water" seepage from a crucifix that turned out to be a toilet pipe leak behind the statue.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weeping_crucifix_in_Mumbai
Hashbrown123
Norman Reedus 2.0
NotACanadian
Aborted Fetus
ExistentialDreadlocks
#3 Can't speak for the others, but the Norwegian one doesn't just refer to grammar. It simply means nitpicking.
Oh god, I fell for it didn't I?
SpeakerToLampposts
#33
Emberskyes
I wish to know more about the Christmas Vampire...
Badgerbadgerson3
#4 Is she a propane Gryla or a charcoal Gryla?
Srcsqwrn
I heard there's a Gorilla?
WJLIII3
For the record, "either one" is the answer to what unfogs your windshield. The glass just has to get closer to the temperature of the air inside the car. Turning on the air will do that, one way or the other. Depending on which way the problem currently stands, one will do it faster, and the other will make it slightly foggier first, but both will always work- its a matter of equalizing the temperature.
Skevoid
Heat is consistently more useful than cold for unfogging the windshield, but the air conditioner lowers the humidity which helps a lot. Turn on both at the same time for the best effect, and that way it won't get slightly foggier first... assuming the engine is warm enough for the heater to do anything. If you have a car with a fancy temperature control system that doesn't let you turn on both you're out of luck.
DeltaBlast
My car knows best, I'll let auto-defog do it =P
Okfushhh
#33 Jeff goldblum is literally zeus
DeltaBlast
No that was Russel Crowe, you're confused with the Grandmaster =P
realGeorgelucas
Actually he did play Zeus in the series Kaos, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaos_(TV_series)
Okfushhh
Ding ding ding.
glittalogik
#28 You know how when you pour a cold drink in a glass it forms condensation on the outside? And when you pour a hot drink in a mug it does... not that? There you go, you now know everything you need to figure out the AC setting for your windscreen.
carbonr1
Not so with car AC, at least where I live which is temperate. Both cold and hot air defog the windscreen.
ThingsThatDontJustifyGenocide
#3 As a dedicated fucker of flies, *your
satanslittleposter
I mean the first issue is with the definition of pedant, which definitely isn't just about correcting things and therefore also isn't just about correcting other people's language use. The whole thing is a bit tongue in cheek though since on top of "you're" they also wrote "grammer" lol.
ThingsThatDontJustifyGenocide
Well you're just a comma fucker, now aren't you?
satanslittleposter
I don't know why you got downvoted already, I chuckled.
Chowphat
#3 Just so you know, the APA has finally agreed that a 'space and period' is no longer necessary after a sentence ending with an ellipse. Of course, Strunk & White and the MLA never required this, although they still disagree about whether the points of the ellipse should be spaced.
I don't mind if you ask how I know this. Years of therapy and powerful antipsychotics have allowed me to overcome my English-major years.
JesusofMethlehem
Wrong use of "your" in that meme
Efreeti
That's not the only one
Chowphat
OMG! I didn't even see that!
*sob* Does this mean I'm normal again?
LonelyVoid
#3 in Germany we also have Korinthenkacker (one who shits currants)
theobituator
Waiting for someone to take the bait...
PressthamGravey
Yep!
Kreia
Wouldn't it be "Tell HBO: I want them to know it was Elmo"?
LtRooney
"Tell HBO: Elmo wants them to know it was Elmo!"
AnonymousFlyingSquirrel
#27 this is already a thing. You get a little beep beep if the light turned green and you should go. You get an elongated beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and eye contact the whole time if you're being a raging dumb ass who shouldn't be allowed to even look at a car again let alone drive.
DeltaBlast
And for sweet jumps, there's the dixie horn!
rshini
If one also wants to announce they're a dumb hick with confederate sympathies
DeltaBlast
As a european, we watched the Dukes of Hazard as a kid without having a clue who general lee was, what that flag on top of the car was and what song the dixie horn are the first notes of. So yeah, I get it _now_, but the dixie horn will forever play in my mind when I see a sweet jump on tv or whatever :p
dooremouse
#10 is Maisy the mouse. My son loved that show so much when he was little.
codemgr
Itâs more fun with Maiaâs
makirabduloblongatamuhammed
I was thinking Busytown
Zeterai
#2
PossumPoop
Thanks for pointing out that my friend is a goober and didnât get that one. What a baffoon!
DonaldTrumpsFlaccidHairpiece
#1 my mom just had all the houses and deco, no vampire. I kept them when she passed, still carry on the tradition. Maybe its time to add a vampire...
TheCornBanana
The donut shop is my favorite of my mom's building sets. We stopped lighting them when my mom ignored the outlet melting smell
DeltaBlast
There definitely was/is a vampire though.
Roune
You definitely should. On another note, did you find the vampire in the picture? I canât find it and Iâm not sure itâs actually there or not
iguessihaveto
It's not. The original story was pretty long and that's nowhere near all of it. They do show the vampire, but it's not in that shot.
UncleScarwasright
pictures kinda work like a reflection of the image, and, we all know that you can't see a vampire in a mirror, so...
thisisthefirstoneitried
I always thought the Vampire/reflection thing was because silver is a viable tool to hunt Vampires and Werewolves, it can kill them. And so it kills the reflection (because silver is the reflective medium in the mirror) by this logic, they won't appear in film cameras because silver is used to develop photos, and probably not in digital either because silver is used for conducting. But then again Vampires are imaginary so pick the stuff you want!
AzraelEternity
Wife used to work at a craft store that sold them. Her and a coworker used to hide toy dinosaurs and dragons. We continue this tradition but have since switched to a Lego Christmas village instead. With Lego dinosaurs and dragons.
umpbumpfizz
I presume the Lego village cost 10x as much, and is also 10x more fun.
AzraelEternity
We definitely enjoy it immensely more and can make what we want, not just what sets are available.
PressthamGravey
#3
CirB
Funny thing with the Finnish version is, that we have maybe seven variants, that all translate into "comma fucker" XD
Snekfast
Easily my favourite, no subtlety involved lol
NomNomNeutron
For those who don't get it, the "bait" is the typo. It's an intentional and edited post, yet it has a typographical error (you're) that comma fuckers will notice. Sodomizers of flies might also object to the numbering, but it could have been a countdown and I'm not so certain that that was meant to enrage us.
Efreeti
Funnily enough, the Norwegian "flisespikker" means more accurately whittler of splinters, like the ones you get stuck in your fingers
StephenDaniels
I'm not buying the German one.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
Its somewhat correct. But an "ErbsenzÀhler" is more generally a pedantic person (similar to one use of "bean counter")
PrincessDandelion
Itâs a correct one, though. We also use âraisin shitterâ (Korinthenkacker)
StephenDaniels
Funny, I would have expected some term of endearment implying them being underappreciated.
Eleshar24
#16 I speak both English and French and let me tell you, the French orthography is an ode to order & reason compared to the English bullshit.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
To be fair english is a mix of a multitude of different Proto-Indo-European languages over time. Romance languages, north AND west germanic languages all mixed together. Good video about it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCE4C9GvqI0
Snooj
Yeah but at least we pronounce everything most of the time. Unless we borrow it from French.
AlexSomething
Just in your short 17 words comment, I count at least 6 words with silent letters, and none have a French origin.
Yea(h), ev(e)rything, tim(e), borro(w), non(e), hav(e).
English has a ton more silent letters than you think and while it's easy to blame the influence of French, the reality is way more nuanced.
Eleshar24
Nothing nuanced about it, just the idiotic concept of writing a non-existent E to signify an "open" preceding syllable (but only in writing) with a long vowel, which today is pronounced as a diphthong. "ti-me" is really "tīm", which the English failed to write properly and capture its development into "tijm" > "tejm" > "tajm". And many similar principles + their exceptions.
AlexSomething
I meant more nuanced in the sense that you can't just blame everything on French or French loan words.
Eleshar24
I remember G.B. Shaw's proposal to spell "fish" as "ghoti", based on "enough" , "women" and "nation".
But then there is all the bullshit like "a rebel" vs "to rebel", "a bow" vs "to bow", or my favourite:
"Caesar sees the Sea People seize the besieged sitch" etc.
sometimesarobot
#21 They sell coconut milk egg nog. It is really good.. I think. I had it with coconut rum so I can't say which was which
middlenameconfusion
Are they asking for help swapping out ingredients or removing people from their lives?
Snooj
As a huge fan of eggnog, I would challenge egg free coconut eggnog to be anywhere in the same league as coconut free egg eggnog.
sometimesarobot
Maybe it was the rum. I dunno. It was GOOD though
PipWhipple
Have had coconut milk egg nog before, as well as soy, and it was...not *bad*, but too thin for my nog liking. I like my nog thick!
3Davideo
They could probably fix that with the right gums and/or emulsifiers.
ImperfectDad
likerice
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MHBuOTFtaWU1aWptNXFybzNlOWxjeTQycjdlbzYzZHNuNmp4cnNzYiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Zgo2A2oOpbGhQdf09T/200w.webp
PipWhipple
And I'd do it again, too!
b00guy
#8 This one fails for me because most guns shoot multiple bullets. If they were all flintlocks or something then it would work.
thotterpop
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MnF2eTJxZmdzNm83ajBqMzA5bmxnbzRzejM1MXQyaDdzenp3amp4ZyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Ddtib3L7U1vEQAWvTf/200w.webp
Snooj
He only had time to fire one shot before the cat reaches him.
theblackcoat
My first thought, and then immediately picked to cat vs someone with a 1911
Chionati
The cat has 9 lives.. an octopus 8 arms = 8 guns = 8 shots. So the cat still has 1 live left and the octopus is one short.
Nanoxt
It's "One shot, one kill", not "One gun, one bullet".
Rogahar
Honestly I thought it was more on the topic of how one of an octopus' arms is a actually its dick.
calenti
Knife in each arm would work I suppose?
baconandmorebacon
Even a knife in one arm would work.
KinetoPlay
Buddy, you're gonna freak out when I inform you that you can usually use a knife more than once.
StevieTheAussie
An a-bomb in each tentacle then.
KinetoPlay
Well now I feel like maybe you've gone too far the other way.
Hmm. Two nuclear weapons have been used as an attack. Both killed many many people. But there's also a guy who survived both...so now I guess we have to ask, is this Schrodinger's Cat?
rdmage11
Where, pray tell, would an octopus obtain modern weaponry? Obviously the guns are recovered from sunken pirate ships.
3Davideo
I have it on good authority that octopi are mastering fusion so I figure they have directed energy weaponry of their own.
NotACanadian
The cat meanwhile has a Walther PPK in each tail -- but lacks the grip strength for the recoil.
Jyx123
There have to have been enough modern-ish wrecks to acquire more modern guns, even WW2 ships ought to have a few rifles or pistols on board, and surely there's a few post-war sunken ships or lost subs as well.
abc987
Sunken ww2 warships. And if the cat doesn't drop the attitude, octoglocks gonna take the battleship main gun for the last life
pandemicpolemic
Octoglocks lmao
SidonisAntares
The octopus escaped from Dallas World Aquarium, collecting Glocks and Desert Eagles from open carry visitors distracted by their children.
abc987
The open carriers were the children