BottomShelfVodka
143131
2253
59
Skip the next meme. Don't even look at it.
Sorry for sharing a white supremacist artist's meme. I honestly don't pay attention to watermarks, and I had not been informed he was a piece of shit when I stole the meme. It's too late to remove it now.
Coming out of my funk, and back to writing about my hilarious childhood traumas on r/bottomshelfvodka
Taxi & Taco tax. The puppy gate has been up for almost 4 months now...this is still their solution.
TheGreatAtomsk
#1 *sing* "four big guys..."
Kakhtus
#18 Homer?
Aaronb1138
#7 I mean there are multiple cohorts spread across porter/stout lovers, IPA junkies, and brown ale fans who have called "light" beer gay for decades.
CheesePoweredUmbrella
#25 Everything reminds me of her
Alkatrix
#24 I forgot gas used to be cheaper
ThailandExpress
#5 but which Jackson County, there are 24 in the US
kerouazy2123
#18 The Simpsons did it first
Wastrel92
In my experience, kids have to point out if a word even starts with the same letter as their name.
DidCatchABreak
Cats are a liquid
snaek
#18 Simpsons did it.
kickmyballsrealhard
#35 that’s one spoiled cat
Lleonharte
its a post about him having been punished
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Excuse me 2003 Corollas are built to last I'm working on getting to 234567 miles
AnotherSnarkyComment
#33 IIRC, cats exude some smell that repels rats/mice
kirbyvictorious
Akshually it would be more like rats and mice can detect a certain pheromone of cats. Because the cats definitely don’t do it on purpose.
twattsy
#6 “Myles Long”- get outta here!
wanderingian
#24 you know you're approaching middle age when you appreciate the gas price more that the lizard
DrMissAnonymous
#10 BUTT NUGGETS FOR SALE??
KittensForDays
#47 made me actually laugh out loud. I, too, have two cats who defy the laws of gravity and containment and make my life frustrating, annoying, hilarious, and awesome. Madison and Scooty Booty are the lights of my life, and the reason I had to install a door to my kitchen and baby-proof locks on all the cabinets. Wouldn’t have it any other way
BottomShelfVodka
SCOOTY BOOTY!!!!!!
riddmkidd
Can we please bring back 1.58 regular.
flipj
Great collection and love the cat tax.
SLCtechie
#3 it’s so when someone rings their door bell, they can climb to the top and fart in their general direction.
MapleSyrupMafia
Don't you disrespect a Corolla or you'll have a problem with me!!!
BottomShelfVodka
GeekyWhiteBoy
I've seen my cat jump over 6 feet, no way a gate stops them
kirbyvictorious
- it’s not the jump, it’s the drop from the top to the ground. They can’t do a parabolic arch. This is the case with tons of animals actually, the landing on the other side is too unpredictable.
BottomShelfVodka
My cats are extra derps
DeeDoubleYu
#23 bloody 'ell this took me a while
aveenu
Thanks! My friend didn’t understand it.
LoopStricken
Jam Scrabble tile.
thejanke
I’m not your friend buddy but thanks for asking cuz I was stumped
vladimirtheliberator
#24 Holy fuck that gas price
peeeopeepeee
Best thing about the pandemic honestly
originalhuman
Yeah. I came when I saw that!
Syovere
#43 In middle school, the teacher asked the class, "What's a ratio?" Horatio responded, "The wrong way to say my name?"
BottomShelfVodka
I hope Horatio grew up to be a comic
Syovere
I don't know what he's up to, I haven't seen him since sixth grade. He seemed like a nice enough kid, and pretty clever, so I just hope he managed to extricate himself from the backwater shithole we lived in.
Arracor
.....sooooooo.... probably an alcoholic now, then?
Syovere
I wouldn't rule it out, but I'm going to choose to be harmlessly optimistic here.
BottomShelfVodka
Let me guess...Gulfport, MS?
Syovere
Wrong state, but I've heard plenty of miserable things about the state of Misery before lol. Nah I was in Virginia.
BottomShelfVodka
I just guessing the worst place I lived honestly..
EroticZombiePants
Pretty much everywhere away from a metropolitan area is a backwater shithole.
superpaul79
#36 I almost cried during therapy today, but I shoved it back in. Thanks, toxic masculinity!
BottomShelfVodka
That's literally the best time to cry!!! Therapy is like brain yoga! I love it so much!!
Idontspellcheck
#3 - designed by someone who grew up playing Civ 1.
ladylambi
I think I've seen that house before... Albertans have some interesting choices
AdrianDunne
Damn right I want a classical Greek wing to my medieval manor.
Curryfrenchfries
Good ol instruction manual DRM era.
Deathpunkin
"why's it called a CD key?"
brianingram
#1 lost on all those influencers who don't get Roman numerals
tantallous
But I, for one, do
BottomShelfVodka
Me II
Arracor
III as well.
lemonofdoom2
#8 yo, stone toss is a known white supremacist and antisemite. If we're going to use his comics for memes we should cover up his watermark and not accidently send anyone down the white supremacist pipeline.
kirbyvictorious
Holy fuck I went to see for myself and what is wrong with that dude
kirbyvictorious
Omgggg is anyone not a white supremacist anymore????? What the fuck
BottomShelfVodka
Sorry, I didn't do my history research before stealing memes.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
You poor thing it's okay you're good you wanna get some ice cream? You want some McDonald's?
BottomShelfVodka
I want McNugs sooooo bad, yes.
onlyhalfghost
that's okay, it's why people are warning you about his bullshit now
lemonofdoom2
StormofWyverns
To be fair, that’s far enough from his normal work that I didn’t catch it until someone pointed out that his name was literally on it, easy to miss
lemonofdoom2
For sure! But that's how people like him operate. You make 1 out of 100 that most people can like to get more people to view the other 99 and pipe them into that movement. Thoughtslime did a good piece on him a few years ago.
dingofdong
Hell yeah, Thought Slime's great, Mildred's video on the Turner diaries does an amazing job of examining (and crucially making the most hateful book ever written somewhat digestible for a not-insane audience) it, it was a real eye opener to see where it gets referenced in contemporary discourse
TChallaVanDam
#42 I get the point that this one is trying to make, but it really is a pretty dope spatula. You guys should see it.
SpeedyCerviche
Fuck, we're not even allowed to have plastic bags any more.
Arracor
Post it then, mothafucka!
NappaTheFriendlyGhost
I also have a fav spatula. It was my grandmas. It is like immune to dirtiness like it cleans so easy omg.
Khelan2050
Damn, I wish I was immune to distress...
ZebraCockSandwich
I have a fav sauce pan like this. shit just falls off it. I'm pretty sure it's poisoning me, but its so easy to clean I refuse to stop using it. I also have two stirring spoons from like, the 70s that are the BEST, my two good ol wooden spoons, and an electric hand mixer from like the 60s? It was my grandmas and she gave it to my mom when she moved out. My mom got a new hand mixer, I asked her to keep the old one for me. Its so light and small compared to the new ones. It still works like new.
LivingDecomposition
I have one shaped like a chicken that I use exclusively for eggs
mustbethedragon
And you never know when you'll need a bag. I have a bag of bags at school and one at home. I'm ready for any plastic-bag urgency.
moosemaimer
YourClothesAreRed
There really is a gif for everything.
PeteyVonWho
My favorite is my big pancake spatula.
BottomShelfVodka
Mine is made out of bamboo!
Laurpud
Mine is olive wood! It's very pretty
AzerilPridham
Mine is bamboo too and it's been through a lot and is still great!!
ZebraCockSandwich
I have a fav spatula, but I wont be devastated when I have to replace it. However I do have TWO old ass kitchen spoons, just like the kind my mom had, that you CANNOT FIND ANYMORE AT ALL. They are stirring spoons, and have a flat edge on the end of the spoon instead of curved. They are the literal best for making sauces and preventing things from sticking to the bottom of a pan. They are plastic and steel. I have repaired the handles many times, and if I ever get to a point I can't repair it 1
ZebraCockSandwich
I swear to god I will carve it a new wooden handle. I absolutely dispise the spoons they make now. I found one at a goodwill, the other came in a super cheap 'kitchen starter pack' when I moved out. My mom also hates that she can't find these spoons anymore. I took a picture of the second one when I found it and said MOOOOM LOOOOOOOK - she was so mad when she found out I got it second hand. hahahaha. I will not let those spoons die. 2
brambleheart
Like this one? https://www.contemporaryconcepts.com/details.cfm/Jonathans_Spoons?&sort=pattern_a&prodid=394093
HasteTheFool
Yeah, except it's not Jonathan's, it's Zebracocksandwich's.
ZebraCockSandwich
tell fuckin Johnathan to gtf away from my spoon
ZebraCockSandwich
kinda, but its like a regular serving/stirring spoon. here:
- Its the most versatile spoon. good cupped area for serving and scooping. flat tip for scraping/cutting through. I have ones similar to your photo as well, but those don't scoop as well.
ZebraCockSandwich
the handle got melted off once (WHOOPS), I've glued it back together probably 5 times. I actually have a block of wood ready to be whittled down if the handle cracks in a way I can't fix.