Crawly
32779
1310
54
Jun 20, 2016 2:32 PM
Crawly
32779
1310
54
glitchead
If you ride a motorcycle, I hope the current traffic speed is whirringly high for your current gear but sputteringly low for the next.
edzashed
I hope the fleas of a 1000 camels infest your armpits
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
I hope the top layer of fabric on your inner sole rolls in and catches uncomfortably under your toes.
JustAnotherCynicToo
Gryphon17
I hope the rain leaks down your umbrella handle and wets the inside of your coat sleeve.
guntbagmunkball
As someone who has been on the receiving end of that a few times, you just gotta laugh. It's never not funny.
Fawin
I literally read this in his voice.
stilltryingtofigureoutafunnyname
"I hope you step in a puddle just before your appointment and have to wait with one wet foot."
HorstStottelheimRheinbachTheThird
Stop it right there Satan!
WouldYouLikeaForkinKnife
So polite yet some of the worst daily struggles you can face
SpringToMyWinter
#4 is actually nice, for me. No blaring alarm
IITallyhoII
I hope the ac is slightly too hot for you so you have trouble sleeping and wake up soaked in sweat.
mikeemoo2071
As a Brit; your pants are going to have to get pretty wet to soak all the way down to your socks
tallcreepyguywithabeard
Yes, made me laugh out loud +1
AddictedToCycling
+1 for riding your bike to work!
strongbadia7
I hope you find half a bug in every 3rd sandwich you eat for the rest of your life.
BIC777
I like these. Wishing slightly irritating things on people who deserve it.
SugarSmack
I don't remember splashing you. And, I don't drive an SUV. But all your curses are happening, please stop.
EvilMidnightBomberWhatBombsAtMidnight
I like waking up 4 minutes before my alarm. It means I'm rested.
fairybug
Here's another curse: may all your bacon burn.
woodwardja12
Calm down Satan!
CatzEyes93
May you step on a lego
Arkvoodle
I hope you step on a Lego, and it sticks to your foot.
Girthalot
dngrslycheesy
I hope you leave your wallet in the car after waiting in a very long line.
cariadically
today i woke up 4 minutes before my alarm went off. now i try to think of someone i offended yesterday.
cabe007
#4 man, thats cruel.
ShmakarooniLovesHeathLedger
Uglysteve
Totally read that sign in his voice.
ObiWankKenobi
I hope you win the lottery and lose your ticket.. I hope there's always snow on your driveway.
MuppetLabs
I read all of these in Christopher Walken's voice.
ShibiSF
As did. I.
astrogeek
And it took 2 minutes longer because.
CyranoDeBurlapSack
Walken.
Eanikran
That! Is, the point.
turdfergy
We all did, you fuck. Read that sentence in his voice
MrNotAnonymous
Why is #4 mean? I love it when that happens to me.
vailthor
Maybe if it was 45 minutes that's annoying
dav3nasty
Found the morning person
MrNotAnonymous
What? I am definitely not a morning person. Waking up to the alarm is like "*zzzz* *AAH AAH AAH AAH WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER*"
MrNotAnonymous
Waking up right before the alarm is like "*peaceful sigh* *stretch*. 'what time is it?' Oh, I guess it's time to get up now."
drickanderson
Seriously? 4 minutes just isn't enough to snooze, but long enough to know that it's ABOUT to go off, so you keep looking. It's torture.
srslydude
I love it because it gives me a few minutes to luxuriate in bed waking up instead of having to get up right away.
Gregatron93
Yeah I love this as well, just means you get up then, all naturally