FuckingGold
69303
2117
78
Mar 26, 2016 1:24 AM
FuckingGold
69303
2117
78
mijiza
My husband is guilty of this. "You're driving me up the bat wall." "A watched toaster never cooks" So close. He really tries.
chillwavve
Dammit title, we've talked about this.
PianoMan2112
It's just milk under the bridge. (Someone actually said this to me thinking he was saying it right.)
stealyourface1
That's beating a dead horse to water
Jhecht
"not the brightest cookie in the tool shed."
DrCurtCockings
People in glass houses, sink ships
mydamnkidsdontthinkimfunny
He's not the sharpest bulb in the shed
Yellowturd
Kill two early worm with one bird.
Armistice023
Early bird gets the VCR
BoogiesOogie
This one wins in my book. Well done sir, well done.
aWittydude
Bye Felicity
MrToday
Well that cat's out of the laundry room now, John.
inspiringandfunnyusernamecoolheh
You don't beat around the Clinton, don't cha?
avatarthelastfeelsbender
If a bear shits in the woods and no one is around to hear it, that's the way the cookies have turned
BlanchDP
Well, if the condom fits, wear it Linda!
Woodncookies
Hey, don't kill the mockingbird, but if you can't stand the heat get out of the aquarium.
sldefenseman21
Hey, worst case Ontario it leads to a few misunderstandings
iidky
He's really up shit creek without a silver lining.
Oirilia
I dunno that one kinda makes too much sense.
meatcactus
Ex wife used to say the sheep calling the cattle black
AndromedaBlade
also, i love your user name
MrGoober91
Linda pls.
RyRyThEsUpErFLY
People who live in glass houses sink ships!
aCrowLeftoftheMurder
"Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here"
CobraDBlade
Well you know what they say, "People in glass houses sink ships."
BulletToofTony
Make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here
NakedAliens
"I gotta buy you a proverb book or something, this mix and match sh*t has got to go."
smarttarded
All these phrases in the comments are funnier than toes.
SomethingCleverOrIronic
"Yeah, well, curiosity killed my sex drive, Jim!"
astorkamongfish
"I'm pretty sure it's the lack of sex that did it." -Jim probably
acrethrills
Well the grass is always greener if it's painted that way
4thE
Well, just burn that fork in the road when you come to it.
HPTradecraft
A poor understanding of Greek mythology was always his Achilles elbow.
ZepolTech
You don't change a gift horse in the mouth
EroticZombiePants
A bird in the hand is worth two heads.
wolfshades
Early bird gets the lemonade.
RoastedSalted
Someone's been counting her baskets before they shit in the woods.
H4zardous
About as useful as a screen door on a battleship, Linda
Grumble128
But, that's actually correct.
brknsoul
The phrase is "About as useful as a screen door on a submarine"
Grumble128
Goddamnit. My brain fixed it. /sigh