Anxiety in 3…2…1…

Worked for a company for 2 years in a position I was over-qualified for, but loved. I’m also studying to branch out into a different sector, but that’s an aside.

I started looking for other positions that would free-up my weekends. My employer approached me to apply for another role in the company (more responsibility, better use of my skills). Also… loads more stress and oddly, less support.

It’s a company that’s not heavy with management (they have like a peer support style of working and the director oversees everything). For my particular role (which I have a lot of familiarity with), you need a direct supervisor. You need that support.

I’ve been in the role for 10 weeks and my colleague has been on holidays twice for 7 days each. I have had to oversee all her clients (with zero support/guidance) and her teams of about 200 staff, as well as my own. I work in the healthcare/disability sector and our clients all have really complex needs.

I am now a fucking wreck. I’ve not had an anxiety attack in years and am now having them daily. I was fine before I took on this role - in a really, really good place. I’m scared at how quickly I have unravelled. This role though…

Any time a mistake is made, it’s addressed on Teams in a channel everyone sees. Company director is a condescending, cold arsehole who doesn’t care who he humiliates.

I have resigned, but have a couple of weeks to go and don’t even know if I can make it in again.

Standard, “just needed to vent” comment. Thanks for reading.