DrGreenskies
19671
400
17
Kafka tax
four20praiseIt
#27 Umm... I think if you are completely submerged in Styx you die, so she'd be fishing out a corpse 🙈
MayMayz4DayzYo
#11 My fat ass read the bottom left one as Snickers…
KnaveOfSwords
#30 So in fact, you need to be named after your abusive stepdad? Do bull-headed people who don't come from broken families just run around not having names? Did Polyphemus think Odysseus was appropriating bull-headed Greeks with good families' naming conventions?
oozabooza
I always updoot birbs
PoorSucker
Organ donor made me laugh so much
HonHomes
#45 The bar is so SO low and numbskull couldn't have replied with "sounds amazing, see you there" or "I can't get there for (reason), how about we do (other fun thing) instead?"
Takila
#24 Where did they get the popcorn? (Maize was a new world crop)
buttstuph
#3
Butterupmybuttcheeks
#28 the sun didn't kill Icarus, the ocean did.
apLundell
#21 We always call genies "tricksters", but that's unfair. They're slaves. That's the point of the story. (One of the points, anyway) I think we should be more sympathetic to slaves using malicious compliance against their slave-masters.
PootisBirb
#36 This lighthouse looks like a concerned duck
ThinkThisOut
#1 the balloon is floating…. Clearly birds can fly because they are full of helium. And since Antarctica operates at -460 degrees F, penguins helium liquifies and they pee it out. Hence no flight… ostriches are best source for this gas so they are farmed. Sometime they get out and go into feral flight and often confused for alien ufos
Rivalyn
#15 That's not Shai-hulud, that's the Great Serpent of Ronka
TheMightyMollusk
SKREE!
OnyxTurret
#21 you could be allergic to either, in which case one would be a lifetime supply.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#35 Reminds me of this:
I dropped my phone, but thanks to my lightning-fast reflexes, instead of it hitting the ground I managed to kick in full force into the wall.
ArcaneM37
#22 and don't forget the spanish moss has lice and will happily share!
Gnakenheimer
#1 Does this birb breath helium?
ImAWeirdMom
#10 The middle school here had a teacher pass away in a grain entrapment accident. I too fear this with no risk.
SmashySashimi
That was a very interesting way to phrase that. I am now thinking about what one would do in order to incur the wrath of a middle school that gives out cruel and unusual executions.
ImAWeirdMom
Lol no, small town and he worked part time on a family farm
Mistruths
Hold the school admins accountable for their bullshit
MayMayz4DayzYo
#45
v
slopwizard
How do these guys exist? Meanwhile I haven't spoken to people in 10 years so that I don't accidentally offend anyone
MayMayz4DayzYo
Because asshole men in power tell them that’s how they’re supposed to act. And then elect more assholes to continue the cycle of bullshit.
Valase
#38 I do, and I think I actually know one of them: Years ago I've once got multiple calls from an unknown number and thinking it's probably spam I've finally picked it up with the words "Claus, Claus is it you? They figured it out, Claus! They know!"... After a few seconds of silence, I was greeted by a really confused technician of my internet provider who - for a brief moment - forgot why he even called.
ImAWeirdMom
#7 it seems like it's probably changed a lot in that time, I wonder what it originally looked like
andaraven
Terry Pratchett and I agree, “Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be.”
ExTechOp
The Uffington White Horse was created some time between 1380 and 550 BC, during the late Bronze Age or early Iron Age. […]
It has long been debated whether the chalk figure was intended to represent a horse or some other animal, such as a dog or a sabre-toothed cat. However, it has been called a horse since the 11th century at least.
— https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uffington_White_Horse
MayMayz4DayzYo
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
#36 All lighthouses have terrifying backstories
dirtyFrenchman
#45 so glad im not dating right now. Is this how guys are acting fr fr?
Omicron416
AlI know about #45 is Elisa's friend dodged a bullet.
copingcabana
#23 As Zeus said to Narcissus, "watch yourself."
jridley
#7 I'm pretty sure they degraded pretty badly, then a few decades ago some people decided to rehabilitate them and did a ton of work to restore them.
HulaJesus
#45 man blundered the first negotiation. You're bartering your time for theirs. Don't like the cafe pick an activity. Do you wanna be on the same team for laser tag or hunt eatch other for sport? Perhaps you wanna stare at fish, or see animals from all over at the zoo? My time is valuable and I wish to enjoy how I spend it i imagine they have shame view so lets find something we can both enjoy while getting to know eatch other.
NairouTryyshokk
Thats not a blunder. That is a failure of society and social media. There are so many ways men are isolated, online and off, and its intentional, so that they are more likely to spend money irresponsibly. This also means that the only woman in their life is their mother, so they think that all women should be like their mother, and were never taught otherwise.
SliderOfElay
Dude is all red flags.
ExTechOp
#39 You should check the sources that Wikipedia requires for its articles.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#21 A modern genie would give you one of those pastries and then have you immediately shot, thereby providing a lifetime supply.
HighSorcerer
Just poison the pastry no need to bring gun violence into this.
PartyLich
I'm thinking it wouldnt be shooting, not whimsical enough. Maybe you get the pastry at a nearby bakery you pass by all the time but never stop at. Then a rogue Waymo crashes onto the streetside seating area (where you're enjoying the best pastry ever) and ends you. Or maybe some sort of Amazon drone accident?
CaptainCaptObvious
#3 actually these dogs are known for having back problems. They've become too long so they can't properly lift their weight
bikergeek6249
Like (IIRC) bulldogs, who've been bred to have a short, flat face for so long that they now have difficulty breathing