GrammaticalMisdirection
258804
7140
186
MRW I want to surprise my SO with a Valentine's Day surprise
Feb 13, 2018 3:22 PM
GrammaticalMisdirection
258804
7140
186
JTChaotic
I'll be single for the 8th Valentine's Day in a row, always is a little depressing every time.
lazysombrero
She's cute. I love her
HelCamino
SomeLongAssNameSoPeopleIKnowWontFindMe
Ahhh the joys of being single on Valentine's day, don't have to worry about anything
Whamwasabandman
She forgot to hobble him...again
aMagshasnoname
Duck tape? What is this, amateur hour? Gotta tie your unwilling boyfriend up with 3-strand nylon rope, duh. Can't gnaw through that!
PullShporttel
Upvote for "duck tape"
rattlebone10
Does anyone know why she hasn't made YouTube videos in a few months?
foxrox
The one who got away. Literally
Originalandedgyusername
mburicao
Boyfriend..
CeruleanTransienceOfAllMyImaginedShores
mattsall
https://www.youtube.com/user/wzr0713 She still makes videos occaisonally, they're actually better than most of the crap on YT these days
7grims
ahhhhah, i though she was just a meme, didnt knew she had youtube videos
ImThesccatMan
Valentine’s Day is coming, crap I forgot to get a girlfriend again
FrozenInCarbonite
KraftyKev
Audible "ha!"
daniePandaSmasher
You can tie me up!
chunkblaster
I love the fact that she has totally fucking owned the meme that she became
MrtheOffender
https://imgur.com/fQ0spmT
Affray
Step one:
Dillonnnyousonofabitch
theglimmeringwarlock
I'll be at the gym
shivablasting
Fucking Grind!!!! +1 for reminding me!
theglimmeringwarlock
Awesome movie!!
whiskerbiscuit
Never even heard of it? Skate movie? I love Bam. Poor poor Bam :(
theglimmeringwarlock
Yea, good comedy. Adam brody is funny in there.
Dimmikk
yesisaiditnotsorry
Now she can tell stories about the one that got away.
thirddamacount
Me on Valentine’s Day
v
tehguldincalk
...Clang?
SoThatsWhere
Yours doesn't clang? Must be circumcised, then.
forgotmyoldusernameclassic
A classic for sure.
AstronautChicken
Wow. Shes a really good actor. That was an impressive display. Had the nostril twitch and everything.
LadyNetrex
Acting?
nononini
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Too real!
bellapadella
I wouldn't mind being tied up by her
FrankiesGirl
You pick those cookies up RIGHT NOW! They are still good!!
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
She eats them at the end of the video
FrankiesGirl
Oh thank goodness. No cookie left behind.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Yup https://youtu.be/_rgzlOAlAkc
Shewy92
veryfarawaycountry
https://imgur.com/hl8vnht
robboscouse10
I know that we're not supposed to put our dick in crazy but I think I'd make an exception for her.
steveracer
those eyes...
jocloud31
I know. They're so dreamy!
lovestospoon
Yeah that's my girlfriend..........
BarretXIII
pomhub28
Kyman201
"A Yandere is like a tornado. Calm when you're at the center, but horrifically chaotic and deadly if you try to escape."
PyllyNalleMissionaries
BarretXIII
Gamergrl09
More holes to fuck = more fun!
Zelkon527
blyatiful
Who she?
rainballs
Lovetospoon's girlfriend ^^^
blyatiful
Sweet
woozle
has anyone married her yet?
dillenger
PaulLynde
Oh how I wish it were me. She's awesome
begonedouche
spot on question.
tdvideo
brandsilven
I'm not one to jump into marriage blindly, but I'd definitely go out with her to see if we're compatible. -said everyone, ever.
DarkAngelWarlord
I would she is HAWT
BYERE
If not, I want first dibs!
Moonmunk
I'd marry her for sure
thisisbullshit012
I'd marry the hell out of her
BellsTheorem
The hobbling only hurts for a couple of weeks. Then it's breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed!
BenWyattCalzoneKingandIceTownClown
Shes so hot
rattlebone10
I would love to marry her.
Eastcoastthoughtprocess
She was dating some guy in my town for a while. Not sure.
mathmad26
I would but she'd refuse me
djlemma
She seems to have a significant other of some sort- https://www.instagram.com/p/BaKJZJSAqMC/
2Cups
PhoenixQueenAzula
Pokegeologist
She's in Phoenix/Tempe now? Neat.
OlderThanYou
Young enough to be my kid, or my second wife.
XanCrews
FatChecker
relicen
OlderThanYou
Respect yer elders, Sonny!
CuriousSoul365
Brilliant
Loxachi
AuraOfSouls
Dillonnnyousonofabitch
IBuiltAFreakingArk
wispu
IBuiltAFreakingArk
WITNESS!!!
FourWindBadger
Í would. But then again she would just reject me. And I would end up getting overly attached and well... That would be one meme killed. Sad.
VoodooQueen
Is that the Vietnamese keyboard you have downloaded?
FourWindBadger
The "í" thingy?? No that's my phone who can't figure out what dictionary to use, the danish, English and Icelandic one, and then fucks up
ShospleColupis
shit.. valentines day is tomorrow.. I'm going to have to get my hand something nice
ImHereFortheTittiesandKitties
Someone*
SickOfThisCessPool
A lotion-covered glove?
bronypokey6918
Awww its good to see you taking care of Jill
Pwningpikachu
OH FUCK
boobsgrowontrees
not for the 14th, but for the morning of 15th get her some nice handwash, the topshelf stuff, pamper her.
wantondisregard
A silk glove
CrimeThinker
Mark it as your property forever with a tattoo, real commitment.
32countysinnfein
A break
gingerlover43015
I recommend a fine lotion, slightly aged.
dekket
Like, a girlfriend?
Bonnedad
Maybe some nice lotion, skin has been so rough lately
pieter42
May I suggest a nice lotion?
IStay
ImGonnaRickRollYou
What could we get Ned? Maybe a hat? Oh wait... a razor to shave? Yikes... nevermind.
EmyLightsaber
ya'll go'n die
LargePoutine
https://media.giphy.com/media/topMocFrdFhCw/giphy.gif
smooalacarte
Give it a massage in return with your penus.
klayman1984
moisturizer
QuiteADapperAsshole
Lotion and a night off.
justahumanonline
silk glove?
metalheadmafia
NakoSunao
How is that different than today?
harbingerjo
Use your right hand. Unzip your pants. Reach in. Pull it out. Put a gift box around it. Done.
ovelanimimerkki
I got it a new wristwatch last week. I think it likes it. Guess that's enough?
MissDashLisa
might i suggest Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream. just a small dab makes your hands feel so soft; it's heaven.
MissDashLisa
https://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Norwegian-Formula-Cream-Fragrance/dp/B00JKQE8JO?th=1
katwa
How about nice handlotion? Your hand will have a rough time tomorrow.
davidthemonkey
Remember, glove it before you love it
mycatToastwasafatasshole
My husband is making me eggplant parmesan for dinner tonight, so excited!!
iknowitsnotbutter
MarvinTheMartiansDog
just make sure you use some Jergens hand lotion tomorrow
RedPandasandDepression
Hand you say?
Armorfinish
IS THAT A FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!?!
JoniHallivuori
2 posts in a row!
NachoPete
Counterfit
And his wife?
HeroQueenofAlbion
To shreds, you say?
NakoSunao
Daily reminder. Part 5 never.
Armorfinish
Look up the trademark filing from Shueisha. It's not definitive but it gives me hope.
RedPandasandDepression
Just Wait, DP is just working on other animes atm
MiniConradd
Shit. I forgot to find that special someone again
edevolt
Lotion, go all-out and buy the expensive stuff.
onecowboytoo
How about a minute off.
DeadTuesday
I don't need you honey, I'll beat my dick like it owes me money
Damiankai
Im getting my hand Monster Hunter World. It's gonna love it for HOURS.
Klawburger
No glove , no love.
JUmpmAN1
How bout a nice fresh high five
onerepmax
Some top dollar lotion for after the date ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
rattlebone10
I've heard hands like a nice bottle of lotion.
pdhackley
Change things up and find something big to wrap it around!
ShospleColupis
fivefingernails
thisisnottheusernameurlookingfor
Hmmm. I sugges vintage KY jelly 2015. Delicately smooth with a hint of oak. Animal abuse free of course.
Prometheus79
Lotion.
BababaMoooya1
Niiice
OndeBent
shtoups
McSkittletitts
Underrated comment!
RedWoof
Checks date ... FUCK!
EmyLightsaber
it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose
TallLightnHandsome
Gloves are good presents this time of year. :)
madethistoaskforboobies
If you like it, put a ring in it
ChrisDoesScience
What if it chafes?
eunoul
A ring and..some ice! You will need it! For sure!
MexicanDad
But what if you already put a ring on it?
madethistoaskforboobies
Ribbed for your pleasure then
ravenskull
He wrote in it, not on it. There is always a bit more space under the skin. Its also a nice new sensation during sexy times I assume.
madethistoaskforboobies
I meant to say put a ring on it but I have fat fingers lol
zenatsu
Give it another ring, bitches love rings.
Moizsh10
The only B-word you should use for women is beautiful, cuz bitches love it when you call them beautiful.
DukeDarkwood
Instructions unclear; one slender finger now has three rings, stockiest finger has seven, pointer finger has nine. Room for one more.
ankegipfu
what if i like my dick
mmaatt8
Cock ring
NachoPete
Put a ring on it.
youroldfriend
Gonna ring it around my penis
BYERE
You're going to ring @AssBasket 's hand around your penis? Do they know about that?
ManInTheBox21
one single isotoner
imherefortheplot
Moisturizer
Redeyedguy4291
How about just give it a day off to relax.
attofreak
A manicure for that special someone perhaps.
Martellus
littlebebehorseshoecrab
lotion
AGuyThatPoops
Pornhub premium will be free. Use lots of lube and keep a pack of Gatorade close.
DidItForScience
Don't overdo it! http://www.ibtimes.com.au/too-much-masturbation-kills-23-year-old-chinese-student-family-loses-lawsuit-versus-sperm-bank
Xenarion
Don't get your hopes up too much. I got disappointed last year by the lack of new good stuff there.
ozzycats
I keep getting errors on their website..
Iamsuperspecial
Free you say?
BetterOffSingle
The event starts today (Feb 13th) at 6 pm EST
rattlebone10
I'm 3 hours behind. I better double up.
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Srsly
jaydawgx7
This is why I need you guys... Wouldn't have even thought about the Gatorade
rankaleenyanyan
I use laxatives. I get high off dehydration.
OtherErinFromTheOffice
Whats the difference?
AGuyThatPoops
The premium professional videos that are exclusive to pornhub will be available for free usually you have to pay a monthly subscription fee.
GrnTigr
4K 60fps
Xenarion
Some videos that are normally behind a paywall are free to access for a limited time. Don't get your hopes up too much.
thirddamacount
This guy tomorrow
v
attofreak
Why do we need a date to tell us when to love our SO? Why not every day?
bailarconmigo
WeylandYutaniCorp
Does it... Does it make a clang noise? Either you're doing it wrong or I am.
RyanBlackwing
I sounds like a massive frying pan
McDuggets