The 10 cheesy 90's action movies that are responsible for my upbringing

3 Ninjas (1992)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKeytCtbkYQ

I have three words for you: "Rocky loves Emily". If you think this is gibberish, you have missed out on a key formative experience.

This movie was my goddamn religion when I was growing up. My brother, my cousin and I memorized every single line of dialogue and would act the movie out as it was playing.

Whether you identify most with Rocky, Colt or Tum-Tum says a hell of a lot about you as a human-being.

As a kid, I wanted nothing more than a ninja mask and matching-colored robe in which I could beat up adults that were taller, stronger and far more experienced than myself.

Classic Scene: Ninja Basketball! (The music in this scene is pure 90's goodness)

"I'm not showing off. I'm playing basketball"

Surf Ninjas (1993)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlnVdVwUoKg

This is definitely a candidate for the most 90's movie of all time:
Surfing? Check.
Ninjas? Check
Enchanted Game Boy? Check
Tone Loc? Check
Leslie Nielsen as a shogun overlord? Ummmm....Check?

The fight scenes are satisfying, Rob Schneider is actually funny and the princess is gorgeous. What more do you need?

Classic Scene: Restaurant Rumble

(I can do Martial Arts even though I haven't had a day of training)

Double Dragon (1994)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A46duXCNM08

Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf. The Yin and Yang of every 90's kid's psyche.
The stoic Dacascos provided legit Martial Arts skills, while Wolf was a completely useless, cocky dick. You have to love it. They even had their own signature handshake, which was just so damn cool!

For many this movie is in the same league as (throws up in mouth) The Super Mario Bros. Movie, with it's dystopian-future setting. For me, it really works in this case.

Honorable mention for some truly memorable side-characters:
Bo Abobo (The Steroid Freak)
Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick's most non-threatening movie villain ever)
Marion (Alyssa Milano with short blond hair? Yes please)

Classic Scene: FINALLY we get to see their Double Dragon powers!                        (for the last 5 minutes of the film)

"Oh, Shi..."
"You said it"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUd4NfE5W6A

I stand by my belief that this movie holds up, even today, as a perfect adaptation of the source material.

Each Turtle's personality is portrayed flawlessly, Jim Henson's character design and execution is exceptional, the fight scenes are awesome and Splinter and Shredder's characters are taken 100% seriously.

This movie is so good that it made me enjoy Vanilla Ice!
'Nuff said.

Classic Scene: Ninja Rap (If you thought I'd put anything else, you're crazy)

"Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!"

Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)

Full Movie: http://kisscartoon.me/Cartoon/Mighty-Morphin-Power-Rangers-The-Movie/Full?id=51610

As much as I'm looking forward to the new movie, it's going to have to work hard to surpass the absolute perfection that is this film. It did so well to scale up the TV show and polish all of the small screen elements. The opening fight scene in the abandoned construction site still gives me Goosebumps. The idea to strand them on an Alien planet without their normal powers also worked really well. Not to mention the unbelievably cool "Ninjetti" costumes are, well, unbelievably cool.

The only thing that hasn't aged well is the CGI on the Zords.

On a side note, I think the Ranger costumes in this version are WAY BETTER than the new ones.

Classic Scene: Morphin' Time!

Seeing this moment on the big screen is something I'll never forget

The Phantom (1996)

Full Movie: http://putlocker.plus/the-phantom-1996-full-movie-putlocker-megashare9.html#

The fact that we only got to see Billy Zane as the star of his own action movie ONCE is a source of great frustration for me.

This movie actually holds up pretty well. It had a decent budget, a great cast (James Remar man!) and a brilliant, period setting. They cleverly turned it into an Indiana Jones-esque adventure movie as opposed to a straight Superhero story. It has a lot going for it and, just to reiterate, Billy Zane!!

If you haven't seen it, give it a watch.

Classic Scene: The Ghost who Walks

"I already killed him"
"What?"
"You heard me!"

Only The Strong (1993)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cIxD8NmuT8

I expect a lot of people not to know this one.

It's like Dangerous Minds but instead of Michelle Pfeiffer you have the great Marc Dacascos and instead of poetry, you have Brazilian Capoeira.

A former Green Beret returns to his troubled, inner-city high school to help change things up. Of course the local crime lord is unhappy that he's taking kids off the streets and teaching them discipline and respect and conflict ensues.

The traditional Capoeira song he teaches his students rings in my mind as clearly as it did 20 years ago.

There's even an evil Capoeira song that the bad guys sing to encourage their boss when he and Dacascos face off. Of course, our hero gets his ass kicked...right up until the moment his students start singing the good Capoeira song to encourage him. Pure, unadulterated cheesy goodness.

Classic Scene: The Roda

"Panana We, Panana We, Panana"

Street Fighter (1994)

Full Movie: http://putlockerr.io/tt0111301-watch-Street-Fighter-online-putlocker.html

I don't have space to embed a confession bear so here it is: I freaking love this movie!

The fact that almost all of the characters from Super Street Fighter are in it is great (No love for Fei Long Hollywood?). Seeing T-Hawk and Cammy talk to Guile about military strategy is wonderful (regardless of the fact that, in the context of the game's story, that sentence makes no goddamn sense).

The flaws need not be pointed out: Guile has a French accent, Ryu is just NOT Ryu, half the characters don't fight and the whole narrative is a hot mess.

But the one overarching positive is the manically, charismatically evil performance of Raul Julia. Faithful or not, it's a pleasure to watch.

Classic Scene: E. Honda Vs. Zangief

This scene, taken out of context, could easily be mistaken for a scene from a really good, faithful Street Fighter adaptation.

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Full Movie: http://movies-free.online/mortal-kombat-1995/

Unlike the Street Fighter adaptation I don't think there are any flaws here as far as fidelity to the source material goes. The story and characters are pretty much spot on.

Yes, the one glaringly obvious exception is casting Christopher Lambert as Raiden but he's so damn good and funny that you can't help but throw your hands up and say: "fair play. This movie is better for having him in it."

The fight scenes are all given the space and care that they need to make them unique and compelling. Scorpion Vs. Johnny Cage and Reptile Vs. Liu Kang are two very notable examples. Just so good!

I love the portrayal of the three main characters and Cary Tagawa is fucking perfect as Shang Tsung.

The soundtrack hits the perfect balance between Rave music and Mystical Asian orchestral.

Of course, it goes without saying that it has the greatest theme song of all time.
Because I know you're now thinking about it, here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjQ7jJx9PJk

Classic Scene: Say hello to my little friend

The two coolest characters are introduced in the coolest way possible

Bonus Classic Scene: Johnny's signature move

He does that in the game! He does that in the game!

Bonus Bonus Classic Moment: The Thunder God amuses himself

I could watch this one moment on repeat for the rest of time

Warriors of Virtue (1997)

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHYkEwf_8go

That's right, it's the OTHER 90's movie that features anthropomorphic, warrior kangaroos (Hollywood clearly thought it had hit on a winning formula).

As The Power Rangers and Captain Planet taught us, there's nothing more satisfying than a group of heroes with distinct personalities, skills and weapons who only have one color in their wardrobe.

Classic Scene: Kangaroo Kung-Fu