nukethelizards
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I gave him my family diamond and asked him to use it to propose to me earlier this year. He smiled and kissed me and put it aside. I was naked.
He went to a concert for work on Saturday and hasn't come back yet. Won't return my calls.
Pretty sure I'm getting dumped for Valentine's.
I thought he was getting me a dog instead. He's not. We clarified that. Maybe I'll just get myself a doggo for Valentine's.
At least I'll always have you guys.
ClinghanKHAN
I get that as a person we should all be nice and empathic, but Jesus Christ this is cringeworthy.
Remmywtf
Maybe he has different plans
gorillaClutch
Given there is literally no information given about the relationship itself, length/quality i'm going to assume you're both assholes
epicthread
Get yourself that doggo...and sorry for your hard times.
ThisCoffeeSmellsLikeShit
I was naked lol... that's when I stopped reading.
absolutezero182
Hey don't be so pessimistic. He could just be dead
Feronach
Update?
nukethelizards
He messaged. Loves me and he'll see me tomorrow.
phonecallformisterhorrible
nukethelizards
YES!
ThingsYouCantUnsee
On to the next one.
wegonfight
Sorry, but yeah, wouldn't hold my breath if I was you.
Pandemoniumlust
That guy ran for the hills. He isn't coming back. lol.
PurpleHeadedCommentSlinger
What the fuck is wrong with you?
atsadi
Sad. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how being naked plays importance in this.
beauandmacysmom
Just adds to the vulnerability a bit I'm assuming
nukethelizards
You got it.
nukethelizards
Yup. Literally and figuratively naked. Vulnerable. Giving my most valued possession to the person I most value on earth.
lauxemlamae
It makes it hard to trust anyone again when you have exposed your soul to someone like that. :(
atsadi
Thought so, just wanted to clarify. Wanna blow some stuff up? It usually cheers me up.
Ihadtoditchmyotherusernamebecauseofyou
This is all very strange, but first and foremost I would be concerned about his well-being given he isn't responding. Not the proposal.
nukethelizards
He replied that he's fine (physically) and that he can't talk now.
Ihadtoditchmyotherusernamebecauseofyou
Ah, well, then I suppose there is a lot to talk about.
nukethelizards
Indeed. Wish he'd take my call.
PorkyPigginit
Find yourself a new one, all shiney and ready for lovins.
nukethelizards
This one's auper awesome. Le sigh.
PorkyPigginit
Keep smiling, I know it's tough.
magundi
He's just familiar...but the relationship sounds one-sided. You deserve someone who will put you on a pedestal.
kissmyash
*correction you asked him to propose
greymain87
Sounds like you jumped the gun on the marriage thing and scared him off.
nukethelizards
When you know what you want to do for the rest of your life, ya want the rest of your life to start immediately. I had to ask. Love him.
greymain87
I can respect that. Sorry it didn't work out.
nukethelizards
I can respect that I jumped the gun. I'm ready for life. Life with him.
Icujle
You already have life with him. Getting married doesn't change that. There's absolutely no reason to rush it.
AwkwardOstrichGirl
Not sure of backstory but giving someone a diamond and telling them to propose sounds incredibly naive. Either propose yourself or let them.
AwkwardOstrichGirl
To give it to them out of the blue while (as you stated) knowingly making yourself vulnerable at the same time, just sounds manipulative.
providedlava
Telling someone else to propose doesnt sound like proposing to me...
PoofybirdDesign
I've seen it work. Some guys like public events, but worry about a 'no'. This is a preemptive 'yes' that ensures a flashy proposal won't
PoofybirdDesign
end poorly.
nukethelizards
I asked. Put myself out there and said what I wanted and gave him the means so he could do it for free if he felt the same way. He doesn't.
cunttliflower
You telling him that you want to get married is not the same thing as proposing. You just gave him a ring and told him to propose with it.
ditto12g
Sorry, it doesn't sound like you proposed; it sounds like you told him to propose when he was ready, which is telling him to propose. I 1/
ditto12g
can see that you may not have meant it that way, but you set yourself and him up for failure there. 2/2
nukethelizards
I told him he had it for if and when he was ready, but that I was ready whenever he was. He's not rich, and shy.
nukethelizards
Ya, you're right. I was using less words for the sake of brevity.
SpongebobReferences
Don't do anything drastic until then, might be some kind of surprise.
nukethelizards
Ya, I asked. There's nothing.
sharkkibble
Your description is a bit unclear. Did you propose to him or did you tell him to propose to you? Had you guys talked about marriage before?
sharkkibble
Because, if you hadn't, then that's a lot. I personally don't like the out of the blue proposal because a life changing decision should be
sharkkibble
an ongoing discussion and not a surprise.
seattlegemini
I think it would seem forced to have someone say " here is the diamond now propose to me" unless you guys have talked about getting married
Pandemoniumlust
You lived with a man for 9 months and you are surprised that he ran when you tried to make him propose to you?Ive only dated my boyfriend 1/
Pandemoniumlust
for 1 year and marriage isn't even on my radar. We are going to move in together when my lease is up in 4 months. Its very naive to think /2
Pandemoniumlust
try the dating thing again. Learn from your mistakes. or this will be a common occurrence for you. /4
Pandemoniumlust
that wouldn't make someone run for the hills. I don't believe you mature enough for a serious relationship. Grow as a person before you /3
MrTrolvar
Well...you cant just tell a man to propose, that should come from his heart not the woman's will
nukethelizards
Accurate. He's poor and shy. I wanted to be honest & give him the resources to make a ring if he felt the same, but just didn't have the $$$
BobbityRoss
Yeah wtf....no pressure there at all!
Lowzenza
Alright well the "I was naked" really did tie this story in well. (Sarcasm, this was just confusing to read...)
TBE06
Maybe because of this: /a/yp0ut
nukethelizards
That's before met him.
everythingwastakenexceptthis
So you're single?
nukethelizards
No, I don't think so ... yet.
nukethelizards
Don't want.
TeaSwagginsThePhilanthropistSeaOtter
Would you like some pizza and someone to talk to?
nukethelizards
Yes, please. So much.
mykillercupcakes
Hope everything is okay for you stranger. You got some good peeps on this site, but I gotta just say be careful. You should be fine. Still
TeaSwagginsThePhilanthropistSeaOtter
ExtraaUpvote
I can talk if you want
Howdoilife
So instead of proposing to him yourself you gave him a jewel and told him to propose to you with it...wtf? Maybe that's what scared him off.
[deleted]
[deleted]
FunkySock
I totally get you OP. Hope he at least calls for some closure
customcartoons
If he really wanted her, it wouldn't have scared him off.
LilMissPinkBubblegumUnicorn
FR! Scared off because he had to face the reality of being "caged". The ring only made him commit what he had already been considering.
customcartoons
It hurts, but good riddance. On to better things. But first some chocolate.
PoofybirdDesign
Yep, this is how my coworker's gf did it. The wedding is in 2018. A guaranteed yes meant he could go big and public without worrying.
nukethelizards
I thought it would make him feel free, not trapped.
nukethelizards
Exactly!
nukethelizards
I wanted him to have it so he didn't need to pay for one. To let him know that's how much I love him, that I'd want to marry him.
jrbickers
I'm blind as a bat to love and even I can see that's a bad move unless hes already talked about it but financial instability or something.
qwertina
So you gave him a ring but you didnt propose but he was supposed to propose with said ring? That would confuse me too to be honest
ditto12g
That comes from a sweet place, but have you two discussed marriage in the past? Like, at all?
NurietaGM
I am in awe about how Americans (I don't know any other culture who does it) approach the marriage thing: super imp but it's NOT discussed.
YesButAlsoYes
Most people do before it get this serious...for obvious reasons
ditto12g
Lol yeah thank goodness there aren't cultures who marry off brides through arranged marriages without the bride's input ever, right? 1/
ditto12g
Man, Americans are just the worst. (sorry, couldn't help myself, I get what you're saying though) 2/2
vinny512
I'd leave to if someone told me when to propose
nukethelizards
I didn't say when. I said I wanted to, gave him the means and hoped he'd feel the same way. He chose today to decline.
whatisa4chan
THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF?!
nukethelizards
Thought it would be more empowering for him this way, not taking the whole thing away from him. Told him all I want is his amazing self.
nukethelizards
He's skittish... I thought it would be a better approach considering I know the man I love pretty well. I've been wrong before.
DemonicCarnage
Did...did you get the ring back?
nukethelizards
He left the diamond here at the apartment. He sidnt have a ring made.
DiggyDark
Literally 7.4 billion people out there you can make a connection with anyone of them and I sure at least .5% are both decent and fuckable
TheAbusedOne
If it makes you feel better, there are 7.4 billion people in the world..
runswithchickens
Maybe you should not have told him when to propose to you. That's something that should be talking about.
nukethelizards
You're right. I shouldn't tell him when. We do talk about it. Before he left he told me he's not making a ring for me. Important detail.
nukethelizards
I didn't say he had to do it now. Wanted to throw it out there. He's shy and poor. I thought a free ring and being honest would help us grow
sheapet
You made some serious assumptions that may have a heavy price to pay. Apologize and talk this through with him; I'm sure yall will do great
DonPense
A stone is not a free ring if the ring must be constructed. A ring isn't even necessary.
PiranhaLI
Guys tend to be very concerned about financial stability. We need to make sure that we can 'provide' adequately for future family./
PiranhaLI
Until the financial stability is ensured, any attempt to rush the proposal feels like unnecessary pressure.
PreciousPotato
Maybe he just had an accident, lost his memory and is now in Vegas marrying a hooker named Candy.
SpoofTheAnnihilator
yeah make sure to get the ring back. And also, at least to me, it's kind of weird getting a ring and telling some1 to use it to propose 2 u
SomeGuyWhoKnowsStuff
it's hella better than "you better spend 3 months pay on some diamond obtained from african child labor for my ass". Kinda cool even.
nukethelizards
I asked, I proposed. Gave him a free diamond and said if he felt the same way, he could use it to make a ring. He musn't feel the same way.
legitchrispratt
You stated in your post that you "asked him to use it to propose to me." Which is it?
piepieface
My understanding is they said "hey I want to marry you and if you feel the same way use this diamond to tell me when your ready"
nukethelizards
Correct.
legitchrispratt
Right. Which is strange. Like, I would think, if you want to buck gender roles, just propose. Or wait. Not this like pseudo proposal thing.
Corgibuttnubs
What was his answer when you proposed?
nukethelizards
He listened and smiled and kissed me. Said he loved me too. Put the box aside. I didn't want him to feel pressure. Just freedom.
nukethelizards
Free to propose if he wanted to too. He can be shy and doesn't have a ton of money.
DemonicCarnage
Not really if it's a family ring I'd understand specially if you don't have one of your own
nukethelizards
I didn't want him spending money on that nonsense when I have all the things necessary. Even gave him the metal for melt.
DemonicCarnage
I'd say your better off
nukethelizards
Just before leaving for the work concert he essentially rejected my proposal. Should have added that bit.
YetAnotherGamerGirl
stay strong, its better to find out now than to keep on wondering. you deserve better and youll find it soon
cccampbell79
Dammit, I'll date you! ????
nukethelizards
And that maybe I didn't do it perfectly, but I was honest. I wanted my human gem to have my gemstone and gave no timeline. Gentle love.
comette
What does "essentially" mean here? He straight up said no?
nukethelizards
He said he's not ready. Too soon. It's understandable.
moredownvotesplease
You're asking a woman for a straight away answer. You'll get nothing and like it
nukethelizards
He said he's not ready. Too soon. It's understandable.
Kittenholiday
Hope he gave the diamond back
nukethelizards
He left it here. It doesn't interest him.
magicmegaman
Did you basically tell him he had to propose to you by the end of the year? Forcing that will always make the guy run
nukethelizards
There was no timeline given, just a rock and declaration of my love. He told me yesterday he wouldn't be using it/doesn't feel the same way.
Gruffalo
DUMP HIM why are you waiting @nukethelizards he sounds like a stinky turd of a person
nukethelizards
He's amazing. He's just scared and not ready. I am not scared and ready. I sorta-proposed because I never want to lose him. Too soon.